In this article we will consider the following questions:
- 1. What is self-esteem?
- 2. Why is having high self-esteem so important?
- 3. Reasons for low self-esteem.
WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?
Self-esteem- this is your attitude towards yourself, that is, how you see yourself, what you think about yourself and who you think you are. All these self-images are formed based on a list of beliefs about oneself. This list contains and good qualities and bad. Self-esteem is not who you really are or how people around you see you. Self-esteem is something WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF?. People don't always think of you exactly the way you imagine. Your level of self-esteem is yours SUBJECTIVE look at yourself. This quality is formed from the very beginning of your life and is done gradually and can be consciously or unconsciously changed.
In most cases, an unconscious change in self-esteem leads to it low level. Why? People are simply designed in such a way that they notice only the bad in a person, always looking for flaws in him, and for some reason all the good is filtered out. Positive qualities are taken for granted. And since more attention is focused on everything bad, of course, it takes root much better and faster in the subconscious, which accordingly affects the attitude towards oneself. carried out through thoughts and actions in different situations. Building high self-esteem is very important for modern man. Without high self-esteem, a person is unlikely to achieve anything significant.
Self-esteem is the very starting point from which it begins. If you don't love yourself, then how will others love you? High self-esteem is extremely important, because all your actions will directly depend on it. When your level of self-esteem increases, your level of performance in all areas of your life also increases. High self-esteem leads to confident actions and correct decisions taken. Low self-esteem leads to timidity, doubts and, as a result, uncertainty at the time of decision-making. I will comment on this process point by point.
- You yourself participate in the formation of your own self-esteem.
- Thoughts and behavior correspond to your self-esteem.
- The influence of self-esteem directly depends on how others perceive you.
- Your self-esteem changes, either positively or negatively, after realizing how other people perceive you.
- Let's return to point 2.
FORMING HIGH SELF-ESTEEM DIRECTLY INFLUENCES ALL YOUR ACTIONS, AND YOUR ENTIRE FURTHER LIFE WILL DEPEND ON YOUR ACTIONS.
As Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can or can’t do it, you’re right in both cases.”.
REASONS FOR LOW SELF-ESTEEM
1. We are surrounded negative people and very often we deal with a negative society.
There are much fewer successful people, but they were able to break through this wall of mediocrity. Why is it so difficult? All because it is necessary to get out of the usual ideas of the masses and trust yourself, and begin your movement at the call of your soul. And this is not very easy. They lie in wait for you at every step, and in addition they indicate to you that you are not going where you need to go. Those people who cannot withstand such stress choose a simpler path - to merge with the crowd and forget about their own. These are the majority of people; society simply takes them away from them.
2. A person's abilities and capabilities, appearance and intellectual potential have been repeatedly ridiculed or questioned by teachers, parents, friends and many other people when a good opportunity presents itself.
No matter how poorly or well you complete a task, there will always be people who will criticize you. They will criticize you either for what you did or for what you didn't do. The main goal of any criticism is to increase your sense of importance. When you come forward, you leave a lot of people behind you, and then they try to bring you down with words. Remember: the level of your success will depend on your level of self-esteem.
3. Giving undue importance to some event in which you failed.
4. Self-promotion
Self-promotion is a short text of a descriptive nature. This text should describe you and your qualities with best side. Works very effectively in conjunction with technique No. 1 – "mirror". You take a blank piece of paper and write:
“Ivan Ivanovich, meet Ivan Ivanovich, a respectable and influential businessman. He has business in 35 countries around the world. He is among the 1% of the most influential and richest people in the world. A true leader. Ivan has grandiose dreams, he is fluent in self-hypnosis techniques. He has powerful faith in God, in his business and especially in himself. His love is inexhaustible. He loves his job. He loves challenges because he sincerely believes that the more difficulties he encounters on his path, the greater the reward awaits him in the future. He dresses awesome and looks stunning. He has very high self-esteem, thanks to the fact that he knows very well who he really is and what kind of business is in his hands. Every day his business is thriving, and Ivan is becoming more and more perfect, more confident in himself, in God and in his goals. He can achieve absolutely any goal, because with God nothing is impossible. God leads him by the hand.”
After you write the text, read it every day, preferably in front of a mirror.
That's it for the article how to increase self-esteem has come to an end. I wish you success in raising your self-esteem.
How to increase self-esteem, What is self-esteem
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The level of self-esteem influences all human actions. Most often, a person’s self-esteem is underestimated, that is, real opportunities of a person is higher than a person’s ideas about his capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person’s capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious influence. Of course, there are cases when a person has inflated self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people.
But for adults, the opposite situation is typical - low self-esteem, which is understandable. Personality is formed in childhood and early youth, when a person’s capabilities for obvious reasons seriously limited.
Increasing self-esteem is quite possible, although it is often a rather slow process. However, making a conscious effort to build self-esteem can benefit almost everyone.
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help with this:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you, and there will always be people who have less of it than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.
2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You won't be able to develop high level self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Correcting your self-esteem is directly related to what you say about yourself.
3. Accept all compliments and congratulations with a “thank you.” When you respond to a compliment with something like “no big deal,” you are deflecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, creating low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your merits.
At any life situation, a person needs to believe in himself. For example, at work, at home among friends, or even when going on vacation, buying last-minute tours and relaxing on the beach, it’s not always possible to cope with your own self-esteem, from which in the end we may not get good result. But in fact, increasing your self-esteem is not difficult and quite possible, but it may take time.
A few tips will help with this:
1. Never compare yourself to others.
All people are different from each other and everyone has their own different qualities and abilities. And if you compare yourself with someone else, you can always find many opponents who will be impossible to surpass or achieve their results.
2. Never beat yourself up.
By expressing negativity about yourself and your abilities, it will be impossible to achieve any results. It’s better to praise yourself, even for the most insignificant action.
3. Thank you for the compliment addressed to you.
If you respond to a compliment with a phrase like: “nothing special,” then you psychologically deny praise and already in the subconscious concentrate on the thought that you are not worthy of being praised. And this, in turn, greatly underestimates self-esteem.
4. Boost your self-esteem with various affirmations.
Place the phrases in the most visible place: “I will succeed,” “I deserve the best in life,” “I love myself,” and the like. It may seem ridiculous at first, but over time you will notice as your self-esteem begins to rise.
5. Gather positive people around you.
Try to choose confident and positive people in your circle who can support you at any moment. In a negative environment, where you and your ideas will be suppressed, about high self-esteem and there is nothing to say.
6. Write a list of your achievements.
You can start the list with the simplest, and at first glance, trivial. You should not initially look for monumental achievements in your life. A small success is also a success. How to increase self-esteem? And you can start, for example, by learning to ride a bike, doing exercises every morning, etc. This list will need to be reviewed and re-read often and at the same time try to remember and feel the emotions that you experienced.
7. Write down all your positive qualities.
And you shouldn’t be too self-critical; on the contrary, a little flattery will only help you believe in yourself. Find in yourself at least 15 positive qualities. This list also needs to be read quite often.
8. If possible, do what you enjoy.
It's quite difficult to maintain positive mood And high self-esteem when a person is engaged least favorite thing and despises his job. You can only raise your self-esteem if you do something that brings you pleasure, makes you feel necessary and even valuable.
9. Stay true to yourself.
That is, live your life without basing or relying on the opinions of other people, no matter who these people are: family, friends or work colleagues. Only by making decisions on your own can you remain true to yourself and raise your level of self-esteem.
10. Act, act and act again!
And this is the most important advice. After all, sitting in one place will not change anything and will not be able to raise your self-esteem. In inaction due to fear or for another reason, a person begins to fall into apathy or depression, which will naturally lead to a decrease in self-esteem. And by acting, even with insignificant results at the beginning, you gradually improve your attitude towards yourself and increase your self-esteem.
Raising self-esteem
How to increase self-esteem for men (women), what is important to know, how to act?
Hello, dear reader! In this article I will give the first recommendations on how to increase self-esteem. You will find even more information on this topic in other articles on the site.
What self-esteem is and how important it is for a person - there is no need to say, this is already clear. What do you need to raise your self-esteem and make it more stable and independent from external factors, in particular, people.
Firstly, a real desire (not just a “wish”, but a firm intention), certain knowledge and 100% responsibility, without which it is impossible to do anything worthwhile in life.
It is important to understand that you cannot destroy something and then build a new one in a few days. With the right approach you can make it faster, but that doesn't mean fast.
Although there are quick way. This " miracle", which can happen to you, or which you can arrange for yourself. For example, arrange for yourself amnesia. And then form yourself, your views and your self-esteem again, unless your memory returns to you again.
True, I don’t advise anyone to do this." miracle"Besides, self-esteem is not so difficult to change; there are much more difficult things in life, for example, finding and achieving your goal.
How to raise our self-esteem? How to become more confident?
The first thing is important to keep in mind.
Self-esteem may change not only throughout life, but even during the day, and more than once, everything depends on the person, in particular, on his character traits, situation and mood in this moment. I think many of you have noticed how recently you felt good and confident, it seemed to you that you could do anything, but some unpleasant event happened (for example, someone said something to you), you got upset, and inner emptiness or even depression immediately appeared.
And the most interesting thing is that all this is quite normal, it happens to everyone, even the most confident people, only in their case, it is not acute (painful) in nature, because they self-sufficient, they value, love themselves and are guided mainly by their own opinion.
Many are sure that you can always be on top, you can always be consistently confident and strive for this state. But this is a big misconception - you cannot always be strong, confident and the best, always be cheerful and positive!
We have different periods: moments of decline and rise, sadness and joy, calm and excitement; only for some this happens less frequently, for others - more often and in sharp, sharp jumps.
Depending on the circumstances, you can feel less confident at any moment, for example, when your plan did not work out or you are faced with completely new circumstances; this is a reality that makes no sense to resist.
Causes of tension, weakness and constant loss of self-esteem
When a person always tries to be strong and confident, but does not feel like that internally, he is in constant anxiety and tension, he drives himself into limits and is forced to constantly control his actions. After all, he believes that he must strive to maintain his status, and he simply cannot relax.
And if suddenly something does not turn out the way he wants (as he expected), if he, in his opinion, shows unacceptable weakness in some words and behavior, then voluntarily or involuntarily he becomes upset, angry and criticizes himself. This takes a lot of energy, it vitality and immediately reduces self-esteem.
Therefore, to begin with, you should not attach too much importance to this fact, a certain decrease in self-esteem is normal, it’s just that today was not your day. We all have those days that we don't want to remember.
And it’s important not to force yourself to always be strong (oh), on top, but you just need to gradually stabilize your self-esteem, learn to live with the state that you have, admit that you may not worry better mood and allow yourself to be uncertain.
This approach makes it possible to fully relax, and when a person is relaxed, he himself becomes calmer and more confident.
The fact and awareness of this is already can help you, give you more freedom, liberate and give you confidence in your actions.
There are still very important point, similar to what is written above. When some unpleasant event happened, someone criticized you, “attacked” you, or maybe they forgot about you (ignored you), treated you with disrespect - and you expected something different and for this reason you experienced unpleasant feelings, and your self-esteem decreased , besides, you might think that it’s your fault, you’re somehow different - do not engage in self-examination and destructive analysis.
The reason may not be in you at all, and even if this is the case, then you will not achieve anything good except pain by digging yourself.
What's happening? Self-esteem has fallen, you are upset and against this background bad mood trying to understand why this happened, what they did or said wrong. Your mood and self-esteem due to such unpleasant thoughts instantly decreases even more. Think about it, this happens often.
In this situation, it is impossible to draw useful conclusions (for this you need to have good self-control and be), and all this is just an apparent impression that, they say, I will delve into myself, find a solution (some words of justification) and I will feel better.
Here you just need to internally completely reconcile with what happened, leave all self-analysis and boldly move on.
And one of the main reasons why, in principle, you should never engage in self-flagellation and self-examination - this does not in any way reinforce your confidence, but on the contrary, only aggravates your situation and general state. Why this happens, you can read in the article "", about how stressful thoughts and emotions affect our body.
As for the experience that is important to learn from situations, this must be done calm, cold introspection, without criticizing, without scolding yourself and without imprinting your whole past.
Such self-analysis is not done immediately, but some time after the event, when you have already calmed down, this makes it possible to look at the situation with a sober look. After all, only on cool head, without unnecessary emotions, in a calm environment, you can draw objective conclusions, and not blame yourself or others.
It’s even better to do it on paper. This way the brain perceives and processes information better, you will see better (more clearly) what is important to you and what is just harmful nonsense.
From the entire analysis, only the essence is taken, that is, a piece real experience, a short (concise) conclusion without any anger or criticism directed at you, you find and extract a positive conclusion (benefit for yourself), this is real self-analysis and useful, constructive, light criticism.
Many people condemn themselves so mercilessly that there is no way to come to inner peace, confidence and self-love. But is it possible to achieve spiritual harmony through violence and guilt? How can you raise your self-esteem? Think for yourself.
And yet, I know very well how tempting it is, despite all the warnings, to continue soul-searching and introspection while remaining emotionally shaken, because you want to find it quickly. logical solution to reassure yourself, but very often, this does not do anything good, just keep in mind.
Conclusion:
Never engage in self-flagellation and self-examination;
Do introspection when you are calm and better on paper;
Temporary uncertainty and a decline in self-esteem are normal, it happens to everyone, just be calm about it.
Self-esteem and people's influence
It is always important to remember that no assessments of other people should not affect your self-esteem, they can evoke something internally unpleasant or good in you, depending on whether they praise you or criticize you, but this influence should be more like ripples on the surface of water, and not a tsunami that destroys everything. No matter what anyone tells you, learn to treat it with detachment, without unnecessary emotions.
If you have done or said something wrong and you believe that you are wrong, there is no point in dwelling on it, you have already done it, and there is nothing to take back. Over time, you will still have the opportunity to correct something, if necessary, and it is not so important who and what thinks about you, the main thing is how you think about yourself.
Exactly what we ourselves we think about ourselves, the most important thing , that’s why self-esteem is called self-esteem, and not mom-assessment, dad-assessment, colleagues-assessment, etc., let the rest think what they want, it’s their legal right and their problem to think about something.
By the way, most people themselves are fixated on what others think about them - how they look, how they look at them, how they treat them, they think about controlling their behavior, words and facial expressions - and, in essence, they don’t really care up to you, so worry less.
1) Your thoughts and words to yourself
Talk to yourself, your thoughts - your friends, your thoughts should to help you to act, not to harm. And I mean only common sense, and not everything that might come to mind.
We cannot believe everything that we consciously and unconsciously think. Our particular thoughts depend on many circumstances: on mood, general tone and many external and internal factors, and many of them do not even have a hint of any meaning (absurd) and are useless. Pay attention only to positive and constructive thoughts.
The way you talk to yourself is very important.
Try to give yourself good, successful thoughts and talk to yourself like a friend(don’t be afraid, this is non-forgiving :), this is a very useful and good thing). Self-esteem is, first of all, attitude towards oneself. Good attitude to yourself, no matter what you do, no matter how bad you act regarding the morality and opinions of others.
What words do you say to yourself? How do you feel? What are your thoughts contributing to?
If you tell yourself: " I won't succeed", " I'm not capable, I can't", "where do I care about that?", "I won’t go and meet her, in case she doesn’t like me"or "I'm a fool, I'm somehow different" - these thoughts are the way Vnowhere. You definitely won't achieve anything with them.
The reality is that if you think you can't succeed, you will. doesn't mean at all that you really won’t succeed, it just means that it may not work out, but it might also work out if you pull yourself together and try hard.
And if it seems to you that they will not understand you, will not appreciate you, and will laugh at you, this does not mean at all that this will happen.
Courage and actions are highly valued by others, even if they are unsuccessful. Reasonable people will see that you are someone who can take action!
2) If you want to have stable self-esteem, don't focus on your failures and shortcomings.
It’s corny, but it’s true, although many people don’t succeed. Failures happen to everyone. Don't get hung up on a thought like this when you're about to do something: " I may not succeed"If you think like that, most likely it will happen, or it will turn out badly.
Thoughts of failure are blocks, which arise in our head as protection against a miss.
But if you are afraid of everything, then what will you achieve? You need to react correctly to such harmful “thought blocks” - just calmly ignore them. It is best to passively observe yourself and everything that is happening around you, without analyzing anything, and just do what you decide (despite the possibility of failure).
A simple word or a few words spoken to yourself helps a lot. For example, this unpleasant thought came to me: " A suddenly I can't do anything at all", answer yourself: " I can do it, I will do it, and let it turn out what happens". Then don’t have a meaningless conversation with yourself that deprives you of confidence. Just do it and see the result.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
Only the one who pleases everyone or does nothing makes no mistakes. We all have the right to make mistakes, and we all make mistakes. A mistake is an opportunity to use your bad experience to adjust your actions and do something better in the future. We should not be afraid of mistakes, but of inaction and ignorance of our (desires).
As they say: our success is built on the ruins of our mistakes, and it is impossible to achieve success without making mistakes.
3) Never blame yourself. I repeat, it is important to get rid of feelings of guilt, no matter what thoughts and beliefs interfere with you.
If you have constantly blamed yourself before, this feeling settles inside, in your 
subconscious).
And it starts working as a background, automatically. You yourself don’t notice how you suddenly begin to feel guilty, sometimes without doing anything wrong.
For example, in your direction they could some suspicions arise those around you, and you about it just a passing thought , a feeling of guilt could immediately arise inside.
Whatever you did wrong or bad, you can draw conclusions for the future, but you don’t need to blame yourself.
4) Don't make excuses. Justification in itself causes negative emotions. When making excuses, you are trying to prove something to someone, already implying that you may be guilty.
But even if you prove something, a sediment will still remain on your soul, and justification, no matter how you look at it, implies guilt. So never make excuses, even if you are guilty, it’s better to just apologize if you are really guilty, and that’s all.
5) Fear. good defensive reaction body. It occurs in all people without exception. This is a natural feeling of self-defense. But if fear completely takes over a person, then expect trouble.
6) Learn to accept gratitude. Many, having done a good deed, are embarrassed to accept gratitude, compliments and praise. But it is important to demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy of this gratitude; pride is not arrogance, pride in oneself, one’s successes and actions always increases self-esteem. It nourishes you, and you may unwisely resist it. And if you are praised, it means you deserve it, you need to accept it with dignity.
By avoiding and refusing gratitude, you subconsciously believe that you are not worth it, and unconsciously, from within, you reinforce this unnecessary stiffness and shyness in yourself.
The next time you are praised, maybe you should believe it and be happy for yourself? Yes, it may be unusual for you, but still learn to accept gratitude with dignity.
And as for modesty - this 
It’s not bad when it’s to the point and alternates with good arrogance.
Praise to yourself, your beloved - this is what they call small, but very useful practice which is important to apply. Praise yourself for everything you can, for any simple and useful things.
I made lunch - great, I did well, however, the chicken was burnt - nothing, next time it will turn out better. I washed my underpants - great, I'm just super.
7) If you always or almost all the time, , pay attention to the past, the opinions of friends and family, wanting support and confirmation of the correctness of your decision, then you are already dependent on yourself.
Such dependence on the opinions of others - the presence of self-doubt and self-esteem will not increase you.
And by shifting decisions to others, you are throwing off responsibility for possible consequences. Yes, in case of failure, you will have someone to blame and “excuse yourself” with, but if you succeed, you will not be able to feel a “winner” within yourself (which you COULD do), which means you will not increase your confidence in your abilities!
Just try not to take too much to begin with. important decisions, most importantly, without regard for others.
We thought about it, firmly decided, and that’s it. Even if it is a wrong decision. Just try to ensure that the decision does not harm the people around you. There is a fine line here, but it is necessary to do this in order to feel within yourself that you too can make a decision and have your own real opinion.
8) The level of aspiration also affects self-esteem. If you set yourself too much high goals that cannot be realized in a relatively short time; prolonged unfulfillment can undermine your spirit, disappoint you and lower your self-esteem.
Set high goals and work towards them, but they must be realistically achievable in the near future..
Plan your goals, divide them into parts, having done one thing, move on to another. Having achieved your goal and become more confident and strong internally, set yourself a more significant goal.
9) How to increase self-esteem? Practice in front of a mirror, for both women and men.
True, this exercise is not suitable for everyone. If you feel severe discomfort, and this continues for 3-4 days each time, leave it, it’s just not your thing right now. A different approach will be needed here.
It all depends on the person’s perception and some points that I will no longer describe here.
When doing practice, treat yourself as your whole “I”, do not focus only on appearance, individual features, some thoughts or internal state. You are all together, one whole, and this is how you need to approach it.
The exercise can help a lot, but it takes time, because here you are programming yourself, your subconscious, and this is not so easy.
It is important to do the practice without straining, calmly and without fuss, without forcing yourself through gritted teeth, to say: “I love myself and.”
You must say this, even if at first not with love and without faith, but with ease for yourself, that is, without tension. It doesn't matter if you don't like something about your appearance. 
Repeat these words in front of the mirror for at least two minutes. It is better to do this in the morning, as soon as you get up, and your brain is not completely awake, not loaded with thoughts and is still clean, this will make it easier to accept information.
Smiling slightly, say to yourself: " I love and respect myself in both my successes and failures. I love myself in sickness and in health. I accept myself as I am with all the good and bad that is in me. I respect and love myself. I unique person, and I have my own strengths and talents, and there is no one completely similar to me, externally and internally. I respect and love myself regardless of my “shortcomings”. I appreciate and love as I am".
It’s very important here to just calmly tell yourself this, and not look closely at every little thing that you like or don’t like, and not get drawn into all sorts of unpleasant thoughts. You just have to tell yourself that and go.
10)
Make a list of what you can do and what you are good at.
.
Write everything that is true. Describe in detail your positive qualities (everyone has them), achievements and skills. After writing everything on a piece of paper, read it out loud. Try to read cheerfully and with feeling. If after finishing reading you feel pleasant emotions, it means everything worked out, and this is what we need to strive for.
You can spend 2-3 minutes on this at least once a day. Take one of your skills and describe it, then read it. The next day (or the day after) describe something else.
11) Take small steps towards what you want. Extra tension and exhaustion are completely useless. You feel that now you don’t want to do anything at all, you want to rest, rest, gain strength and energy.
How to raise self-esteem. Important point!
Don't wait until your self-esteem is stronger to decide on something, act little by little already right now.
The more you do something, the more you decide to take steps that are meaningful to you, the faster you will feel confident, and at the same time everything will begin to work out better and more calmly for you.
Nothing boosts self-esteem (confidence) like - stop self-criticism and take new actions!
Try to do more of what you enjoy. If now you have to go to a job you don’t like, then clearly define for yourself that you are doing this because now it is necessary and it benefits you, provides for your family, etc. That is, formulate a value in order to eliminate (weaken) the negative connotation of the situation, otherwise least favorite job will in itself reduce your importance and self-esteem.
If you don’t like the job, you don’t need any drastic changes, continue working, but start looking for something that will be more to your liking, what you would like to do. Doing your favorite thing (hobby) has a very beneficial effect on inner satisfaction, self-esteem and life in general. Make your life more interesting!
I would like to draw your attention to the fact that in the process of working on yourself, pendulums can arise - this is when everything was good, and then suddenly it became bad. Treat such moments as temporary troubles. Just be calm during such periods!
The most difficult thing is to be patient and achieve the first noticeable success, and then it will be easier. As your self-esteem grows, your uniqueness begins to reveal itself, and new perspectives open up. You will be able to take more risks and be less dependent on others.
Finally: how to increase self-esteem?
You may feel anxious anywhere there are people, without realizing why you are so anxious. One of the reasons noted above is judgment. You are afraid of how you are perceived and what others may think of you, this comes from your unstable self-esteem.
Therefore, a small but important piece of advice - do not compare yourself to others and do not judge others. In comparison, you will still lose in something, somewhere, to someone, you are good and unique, so be who you are. Such evaluative thoughts always lead to anxiety and tension.
Do not judge others, because by judging, you consciously and unconsciously evaluate them, which means that within yourself you will always feel that they are evaluating you.
This manifests itself in the so-called mental phenomenon of “Mind Reading,” when you think that you know what other people are thinking about you. Moreover, what you think about yourself, you seem to “transfer” into their head, and it seems to you that this is exactly what they think about you.
By and large, all people have different ways of thinking, and we cannot know what others think about us, we can only guess. But what does it matter, if, for example, you think something bad about someone, he won’t care.
The same is true in your case - there is no point in worrying that someone might think something about you, this cannot in any way affect your success, peace of mind and happiness in general, unless you cheat yourself in some way. then thoughts. Only with your thinking can you bring yourself to emotional stress, stress and bad mood. Remember this.
Having stopped judging people, the anxiety formed on evaluation and judgment will become weaker and weaker, and such thoughts will become less and less.
How to increase self-esteem– the solution to this issue interests millions. Success in life depends on self-esteem. Self-esteem is an individual’s attitude towards his own personality, an assessment of his potential, existing abilities, his social status, an individual’s idea and vision of himself. Those. self-esteem is not a personality characteristic. Interaction with the surrounding society, exactingness, criticism of oneself and other people, and attitude towards successes and failures depend on a correct assessment of oneself. Self-esteem is more often underestimated than overestimated. A significant role in the formation of correct self-esteem is played by the achievements of the individual and his assessment by others.
How to raise your self-esteem
How to increase your self-esteem? Psychology says that it is quite simple if a person wants it himself. What is low self-esteem? Where does it come from? Many psychologists believe that inadequate self-esteem comes from childhood. Very often, parents, without realizing it, form low self-esteem in their children, calling them “blunderers”, “armless”, “clumsies”, etc. For babies from birth, parents are the most significant people in life, these are people from whom you need to take an example and therefore they believe every phrase they say. So if you constantly tell children that they are bad, they will become that way. The child will treat himself the way his parents treat him. Therefore, if your child does something wrong, then you should not call him incompetent, it is better to simply show him how to do it correctly.
However, not always low self-esteem comes from childhood. Sometimes, in an adult, self-esteem can drop greatly under the influence of external circumstances, for example, due to dismissal from work or divorce.
How to increase self-esteem? Self-esteem can and should be increased. If it has not moved to, then there are many ways to improve it. If you become depressed, you should seek professional help.
How can you raise your self-esteem? Psychology advises several proven and quite simple methods. However, you should not think that the result will come instantly. Also, an excessive desire to achieve a goal can become a kind of obstacle to increasing self-esteem. Regular repetition of exercises and constant faith in your strength will one hundred percent lead to success. If you decide to do something, then you need to start as soon as possible, without delaying long box. The longer you tune in, the more your head will be attacked by the flow obsessive thoughts negative (“you won’t be able to cope anyway, why start?”).
You should try to learn something new every day. Self-education is the most important step towards increasing self-esteem, and therefore, success. If you don’t understand something during a conversation, don’t be afraid to ask again or ask a question. After all, it’s better to clarify several times than to do it wrong once. Your questions will show the other person that you are listening and taking what they say seriously.
We all often hear the phrase “In healthy body- healthy spirit! And it is true. A healthy spirit determines an individual’s adequate assessment of himself. A beautiful, stately figure, in addition to gaining ease and smoothness of movements, will also give confidence to its owner. Therefore, you should set aside time for daily sports training, you can sign up for a swimming pool. Women are well influenced by changing their image, visiting a beauty salon or hairdresser.
To increase self-esteem, you need a good mood, and a smile contributes to a good mood, so smile as often as possible and praise yourself for all kinds of successes, even the tiniest ones. You can keep a so-called diary where you will record your successes and achievements.
Under no circumstances should you engage in comparisons with other people. Remember, you are an individual unlike others, this is where your strength lies. You can only compare yourself with yourself from the past.
When making any accusations against you, you should never make excuses; you just need to calmly and clearly explain the reasons for your behavior.
Learn to forgive yourself. Remember that there are no perfect people. Everyone makes mistakes.
Be proactive. Even if something doesn’t work out, it’s still an experience.
How to raise a woman's self-esteem
If you underestimate your own value and dignity, do not believe in your strength, then you have several ways to return your self-esteem to an adequate level and increase your own value in your own eyes. This will take some time, but the results are worth it.
How to increase a woman's self-esteem? The main task techniques and methods for raising self-esteem is the formation of a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
Children are often teased at school with offensive nicknames. After many years, children remember the unpleasant emotions that nicknames caused. This is due to the fact that in childhood It’s quite difficult to separate other people’s opinions from reality. Adults also often face such problems. Adults attach great value statements of others, allowing them to influence their personality. You need to understand once and for all that it is impossible to please absolutely everyone. The only thing that matters is belief in your strength and potential.
It is advisable for women suffering from inadequate self-esteem to avoid an environment that suppresses them, emotionally drains them, expresses negativity at them, or provokes unnecessary conflicts. It is important to try to spend as much time as possible with people who respect and appreciate you. Communication with them helps to increase self-esteem and help you believe in your potential.
You should not waste time in an environment that constantly criticizes everyone or is dissatisfied with everyone. This will bring you nothing but unpleasant emotions. Such an environment can only destroy the lives of others. After all, such an environment likes to be in conditions of general sorrow. The worse it is for you, the better it is for them. Therefore, a qualitative “audit” of the environment should be carried out. You need to make a list of people with whom you communicate most often. These include colleagues, loved ones, friends and comrades. Ask them to name a few reasons or qualities for which they value you. The more positive qualities your friends name, the easier it will be for you to believe in your importance.
Take a so-called inventory of your achievements. Awareness of your success increases and gives stability to self-esteem. You need to know your positive features, strengths, personal achievements. Everyone has achievements unknown to others. You should make a list of personal achievements and indicate in it solved problems, crises, experienced conflicts, difficult situations which you endured with dignity. In the beginning, you probably won't be able to make a long list. Therefore, it is necessary to postpone its compilation for a while and return to it periodically. Try not to lose sight of any difficulty, no matter how small, that you have overcome.
How else to raise a woman's self-esteem? Try to understand that you are the owner of your self-esteem. Only you have rights to it. So don't let anyone control your self-esteem. If you do not become the sole owner of your self-esteem, then you risk being satisfied with yourself only if certain conditions are met. In other cases, you will be tormented by dissatisfaction with yourself or your actions. So, for example, you are in a relationship and your loved one began to behave differently, which led you to a loss of self-worth. This means that you are not the owner of your self-esteem, your loved one controls it. You yourself gave him this right.
It is very important to understand who or what influences your sense of self-worth, only then can you consciously decide whether to allow someone to control your sense of self-worth and worth or not.
How to raise a man's self-esteem
How can a person increase self-esteem? What if this person is a man, who a priori should not have low self-esteem?
The level of self-esteem affects all areas of a person’s life. According to studies, men have more adequate self-esteem than women.
Raising a man's self-esteem is quite possible, but it is a rather slow process. In principle, conscious attempts to build self-esteem are beneficial to almost every individual.
Ways to increase self-esteem are primarily aimed at instilling confidence in your potential. The most important thing on the path to increasing self-esteem is to stop any comparisons of your personality with others. There will always be individuals who are smarter than you in some ways, more successful, who have more of something. If you constantly compare with others, then there will always be too many opponents who simply cannot be surpassed.
The most the right way For men, sport is a way to raise self-esteem. Classes physical exercise promote the release of adrenaline, make the figure more attractive, which certainly adds confidence to the stronger sex.
You need to stop scolding your person with or without reason. You will never achieve adequate self-esteem if you repeat negative statements and use negative phrases about yourself and your potential. And it doesn’t matter if you scold yourself for your appearance, figure, social status or financial situation. It is important to learn to avoid self-deprecating comments. Increasing the level of self-esteem is directly proportional to opinions and statements about one’s personality.
Learn to accept all compliments with a simple “thank you.” When you respond to a compliment with a phrase like “I didn’t do anything special,” you are rejecting the compliment and at the same time sending information to your brain that you are simply unworthy of praise. This leads to low self-esteem. Therefore, you should accept praise without belittling your merits.
Use affirmations to correct your self-esteem. Create a card with positive affirming phrases and place it somewhere visible or frequently used. Such an item, for example, could be a refrigerator or wallet. May these affirmations always be with you. Try to repeat the phrases several times a day, especially before bed and in the morning before going to work. Each time you repeat statements, you need to create a positive attitude for yourself. In this way, the effect of affirmations will be significantly enhanced.
Read more literature or watch training sessions dedicated to increasing your level of self-esteem. Give preference to communicating only with positive and successful people. Do only things that truly bring you pleasure. It is quite difficult to feel positive emotions about yourself if your days are spent at a boring and annoying job. Conversely, self-esteem will increase when you are engaged in a job you love or another activity that brings you satisfaction and makes you feel more valuable. If it is not possible to change jobs, then you can devote your free time to your hobbies that bring you joy.
Try to live your life. You will not be able to respect yourself if you live according to someone else's orders, if you make decisions based on the approval of colleagues, friends, and loved ones.
It is impossible for a man to raise his self-esteem by avoiding activity. You need to act and accept the challenges thrown by fate. In cases where you act regardless of the result, your self-esteem and self-confidence will grow in direct proportion, thereby increasing your self-esteem.
Believe that you are a unique person who has a lot of opportunities and great potential. As your self-esteem grows, your true abilities will be revealed. Try to devote time to self-education. After all, knowledge is power.
See how others treat you. After all, the environment is a kind of mirror that reflects your own attitude towards yourself. Therefore, start appreciating your “I” from this moment, without putting it off until tomorrow.
A man's self-esteem depends very much on women. Therefore, if you notice that your loved one has become gloomy, if he has appeared, and he began to consider himself a failure, then try to support him, praise him, give him compliments. Remember, behind the great and famous men there were always women standing. Beautiful femmes are capable of giving with one smile, with one kind word. strong half wings, but also cut off their enthusiasm with one careless phrase.
How to raise a girl's self-esteem
In order to increase self-esteem, you must first understand what exactly can take it to a new level in girls. What will make a girl valuable in the eyes of others and in her own? Maybe it's money, a change in hairstyle or overall image, a car or an apartment, new knowledge or acquiring a profession? Is not a fact. Of course, all of the above is a component, but all this will not matter if the girl herself does not love herself. People around you will always be able to tell whether you love yourself or not. Therefore, they treat you accordingly. How can people who are strangers to you, who know practically nothing about you, love you if you cannot love yourself?
Ways to raise self-esteem for girls are primarily aimed at teaching them love and self-respect.
All girls, without exception, regardless of age, breast size and leg length, are prone to periodic dissatisfaction with themselves and their appearance, relationships with surrounding men or girlfriends. During such a period, external confirmation of one’s significance and attractiveness is required to regain lost confidence in oneself and one’s potential. Girls can convince themselves that no one needs them, that no one loves them. They don’t understand how you can love a person if he has small breasts, for example. Then the girls continue to beat themselves up and come to the conclusion that everything is wrong with them. And naturally, in such a state, no one can respect them. Consequently, confidence decreases and self-esteem decreases. And none of the girls thinks that they themselves are destroying their “I” through their efforts. It is necessary to understand that people will see you exactly as you see yourself - dissatisfied with your appearance, always whining, crying, and so on.
How to increase a girl's self-esteem? Learn to love your appearance, try to admire yourself always, at any time of the day. It is important to feel love for your person regardless of your weight, height, eye color or shape, nose shape, etc. Each girl is unique, different from others, a unique personality. Uniqueness is something that remains valuable and is considered important at any age. Think: would you like to come to a party and see your rival wearing the same dress as you? The dress may be very expensive, but it will no longer be exclusive. That's how it is with people. You try to be like someone, constantly compare with the standard you have invented, forgetting that if you become like someone, you will lose your exclusivity. Therefore, do not look for flaws in your appearance and appearance. Everyone has shortcomings. People around you will not pay attention to shortcomings if the girl leads independently and confidently. And independence and confidence are determined only by the love of the fair sex for her person. In order to learn to love yourself, you need to remember that any girl, girl, woman is beautiful a priori. Because every person is exceptional. Such exclusivity is formed by the combination of all its shortcomings, bad and good qualities.
A person consisting of nothing but merits is a boring person. Much more interesting and multifaceted, having both pros and cons. It is the imperfections of the figure and character that give the appearance of ladies a certain amount of charm, charm, adding zest and charm to the image. Imperfections make the fair sex mysterious, enchanting and unpredictable. There is nothing more attractive than a girl full of secrets.
Therefore, love yourself, along with your shortcomings, feelings, aspirations and desires. Try to accept your experiences and never suppress them. This helps to gain control over them, which leads to confidence in one's own potential and actions. In order to love your own personality, you need to learn to respect your personality. However, this does not mean that you should justify all your actions. Justifying bad actions is a step towards losing self-respect. It is necessary to accept the fact that you do not always act correctly, beautifully or correctly towards others. Try not to make excuses for yourself, but simply not allow this behavior to happen again. Learn from all your actions. You need to learn to understand in which situations you are right and in which you are wrong. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. The main thing is to try to prevent their repetition in the future.
So, if you feel unsure of your attractiveness, then don’t despair - this is just a reason to take time for yourself, a reason to take care of yourself. Update your wardrobe, get a new hairstyle or change your hair color, try different makeup. If you are not ready for a radical change in your image, then you can experiment with your hairstyle - get bangs or, on the contrary, pin them up. There are many tinting shampoos that will give you a different hair color temporarily.
After changing your appearance, it's time to engage in self-hypnosis. Have you ever thought about the fact that you are constantly programming yourself for negative emotions and your own inferiority, scolding and slandering yourself. Do you really think that this will not affect your self-esteem? In case of any failures, you should not reproach yourself, but, on the contrary, focus only on the positive. Any mistakes are not a tragedy, but just experience. It's up to you whether you repeat them again or gain useful experience. Praise yourself for any successes and achievements.
To give yourself confidence, you should educate yourself. The more knowledge you have, the calmer you will feel in any situation. social contacts, since the possibility of getting into trouble due to ignorance decreases, therefore, the reasons for anxiety disappear. Therefore, do not waste time, sign up for educational courses or trainings, start reading interesting literature, watch educational programs. All this together has a positive effect on the level of self-esteem.
Come up with your ideal image and try to make it come true. Describe on paper all the character traits you would like to have and stick to them.
How to raise self-esteem for the fair sex? There are several simple rules that must always be remembered: no one has yet been born queens, but many famous women have become queens over the years. Therefore, day after day, remind yourself that you are worthy of great things; part with doubts and fears once and for all, forget about complexes; set goals and achieve them. It is not necessary to start with global achievements. Let the victory be small, but it is yours; keep yourself a success diary; Constantly monitor the flow of your thoughts. Don't let them veer towards the negative; try to smile as often as possible. A smile improves your mood, relaxes and calms you down.
However, following all the above rules will be useless without the support of loved ones. It is the influence and faith of our loved ones that makes us stronger, more confident and better than we are. Therefore, the easiest way to raise a girl’s self-esteem is with the praise of loved ones. You should always praise the fair sex for even tiny achievements. Husbands should praise their wives for a deliciously prepared dinner, even if it is slightly salty, because their beloved tried. Praise girls for their sense of humor, tell them that they are talented, that you appreciate all their efforts and work.
How to raise a teenager's self-esteem
Every person has a sense of self-worth. It is from this that the image of one’s own “I” is formed and a sense of confidence in one’s potential and oneself develops. The foundations of adequate self-esteem are laid in early childhood and depend on how children perceived and felt the love of their parents.
The child should feel that he is loved just like that, without any conditions, just because he exists. Children do not need to do anything striving for achievements and victories in order to receive recognition and love from their parents. Only under such conditions do children develop an adequate sense of self-worth, supported by internal resources.
It so happens that a baby feels parental love only when he meets the requirements and expectations of adults. So, for example, he must always be obedient, put his toys and his things away, and receive only good grades at school. This feeling of love leads to the emergence of internal anxiety due to the need to constantly meet some of the requirements and expectations of the parents. In such cases, a lack of sense of self-worth arises and there is a constant need to feed it from the outside.
People with a lack of self-worth are quite vulnerable in circumstances when they are treated unfairly, undeservedly, when they feel hidden or open, hypocrisy, when their hopes are not met, when they feel disappointed.
It is the puberty period (adolescence) that is a turning point in the life of an emerging and developing personality. And self-esteem in adolescents is their most vulnerable point. The lower its level, the higher the likelihood of the emergence of various complexes that can significantly worsen an individual’s life even at an older age. Parents have a huge responsibility during this period. They are the ones who must help their child in such a difficult and difficult period for him.
How to raise a teenager's self-esteem? First of all, parents of a teenager need to monitor his appearance and try to correct it if it is not in order (for example, very often teenagers are embarrassed by juvenile acne, the task of parents is to help them get rid of the tormenting problem). You should always listen to what exactly the child wants. We need to let him decide for himself what to wear today, choose things for himself in stores. Parents can only slightly adjust their choices and control them unobtrusively. Try to praise your teenager as often as possible. Don’t look for his shortcomings, try to pay attention only to his advantages.
Most parents don’t even realize that they can increase a teenager’s self-esteem by teaching him to just say “no.” If a child cannot refuse anyone anything, then this can lead, after some time, to dependence on other people. The teenager will feel led. Therefore, try to explain in what situations you can refuse. You need to teach him to refuse in a way that doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable.
It is very important that parents respect their children. Treat your teenager with respect, because you need to understand that although he is not yet an adult, he is no longer a child. A person should not be treated like a child. Talk to him often. When communicating with him, try to behave like an adult.
Some simple tips on how to raise your child’s self-esteem. Firstly, you need to learn to praise your child correctly. You should not praise him for what is given to him by nature or for beautiful clothes. Praise your teenager for his achievements, small victories, successes. To make your child feel that you treat him as an equal, ask him for advice more often and ask for his opinion. Secondly, it is necessary to encourage initiative in a teenager. Any initiative is a step towards adequate self-esteem. Teach your child to analyze his mistakes and failures. Help him understand that a mistake is an experience, it is just another step on the path to success.
