Fear is a natural human emotion that occurs under certain conditions. The personality is in constant development, knowledge of something unknown, new. Some people are open to new experiences, some are fearful and anxious.
Anxiety and fear are often synonymous in the context of the same situation. Anxiety arises in a person during experiences, fear can also relate to any experiences, or arise suddenly. These emotions and feelings can protect us from something, but also interfere with our active life. Therefore, the logical question is: "How to overcome the feeling of fear and anxiety when they are excessive?"
Fear and anxiety are not the same concepts. There is a significant difference in them. Sometimes the nature and even the disease of a person depends on their manifestation. Excessive anxiety, various phobias can lead to personality disorder, pathological perception of the environment.
Fear represents defense mechanism psyche that is trying to protect us from danger. This feeling is passed to some extent by inheritance, when already small children are afraid of snakes or wasps, heights, and so on. Since childhood, parents have been claiming negative, dire consequences if a child climbs higher than it should be, waving his arms in front of a wasp.
Fear has changed over time, such fears arise that no longer save us from problem situations, but, on the contrary, interfere with performing any functions, achieving our goals. Excessive fear of any object or situation is already a phobia. This condition negatively affects the state of the psyche, even the somatic health of a person. The emotion of fear arises in a situation that has taken place.
Anxiety is like a warning of danger. A person feels anxiety not about an event or situation, but before it. This emotion refers to the mental process of imagination, when a person has thought up problems for himself, because of which he began to worry. Many people confuse anxiety with intuition. Intuition refers to hypersensitivity, it can orient a person towards good and bad in her life. Anxiety orients a person to expect something bad, negative, problematic. This can be an individual characteristic of a person, a consequence of upbringing, problems with the physiological health of the patient.
Causes of fear and anxiety
Any mental disorder, diseases of organs and systems, can be accompanied by anxiety. A person especially suffers from unreasonable anxiety in diseases. nervous system.
Certain types of temperament are also characterized by the appearance of anxiety in different situations. For example, melancholic or choleric people may react with anxiety to new changes in life. For melancholic, in general, each new difficult situation seems beyond his strength, problems are impossible, and conflicts are eternal. Anxiety appears more often in them than in phlegmatic or sanguine people. These are features of temperament, and if they do not interfere with a person's life, they are taken as the norm.
Unjustified anxiety, which occurs unintentionally, refers to a symptom of neurosis. In this case, it is not just about distracting a person from the causal situation, but about psychological or medical assistance.
So, the reasons for the appearance of anxiety and fear are:
- A threat to something important and meaningful to a specific person, this significant can be realized by a person, or be in the sphere of the unconscious.
- Biological theory states: anxiety can occur due to gene imbalances in the brain.
- Reflex response to a specific stimulus. Often occurs after a psychological trauma.
- Insufficient or excessive physical activity can also cause increased levels of anxiety and fear.
- Poor diet leads to these symptoms. For normal flow mental processes you need a sufficient amount of vitamins and minerals. If they do not constantly enter the body, a person may develop anxiety.
- Hormonal disturbance in the body, a harbinger of a heart attack, a drop in blood sugar levels, neuroses, schizophrenia, alcoholism - all these conditions are accompanied by anxiety and the possible appearance of fear.
What can a person be afraid of?
Anything. The occurrence of phobia and anxiety can be associated with different objects or life situations. In medicine, the following main types of anxiety are distinguished:
How does this condition manifest?
This is an exhausting condition for a person. When anxiety overcomes, a person does not rest, but is constantly immersed in his thoughts. Such constant brainstorming leads to the fact that the brain does not rest, is constantly loaded with work. Anxiety and fear are manifested by physiological symptoms:
The mental state of a person also suffers, he is constantly tense internally. He is even more worried about the feeling of insecurity, insecurity, helplessness that has appeared along with anxiety. The concentration of attention decreases, irritability and intolerance appear. A person's self-esteem suffers, he begins to avoid communicating with people. A person feels loneliness, concentrates on his shortcomings, hence lack of fulfillment in the profession, impaired communication, problems in his personal life.
You cannot stop worrying and being afraid by a wave of your hand. Overcoming anxiety is a process that requires a lot of effort on the part of the person himself, and the doctor, as well as the surrounding understanding loved ones. Trying to "pull yourself together" to get rid of fear can be unsuccessful, perhaps even exacerbating anxiety about not being able to cope with your emotions. What help can you get from professionals to solve your anxiety problem?
Treatment and help: how to get rid of anxiety and fear?
Treatment and assistance for this condition includes the use of medications and psychological assistance.
Medical treatment
The regulation of cognitive processes during the manifestation of anxiety and fear, assistance with the somatic manifestations of this condition, is carried out through the use of the necessary medical supplies... They affect the human nervous system, reducing its excitability, some of them have a sedative effect.
Used for treatment psychotropic drugs, which are able to suppress anxiety, relieve the severity of fear, emotional stress. Some of them have a positive effect on cognitive processes, improving mental performance.
There are drugs with mild sedative properties, some of the anxiolytics do not suppress the activity of the nervous system. Nootropics are also used to treat anxiety symptoms.
Psychotherapy
The main task of a specialist psychologist or psychiatrist is to determine psychological reason such behavior. After exploring the depths of the subconscious, he brings to the realization the cause of the anxiety. After that, the question becomes how to deal with this feeling?
The specialist helps to identify the irrational beliefs of a person, forming from them explicit and rational ones, allowing you to take a fresh look at your problem. In the process of work, a doctor helps a person:
- identify the problem;
- formulate the goals of its solution;
- work out solutions;
- talk about how to apply certain solutions;
- evaluate the effectiveness of the chosen solution.
The doctor should not dive into the content of the problem; it is important to pay attention to the person's thinking and emotional reactions. He needs to explain to the client the importance of changing the way of thinking, show a readiness for changes in life.
In case of anxiety, active sports, positive communication and good deeds to others help. So a person can remove the symptoms of the disorder, overestimate their actions.
Every person from time to time experiences anxiety or fear of something. This is normal, but only if fear and anxiety are not haunted too often and for any reason. In this case, a person cannot lead a normal life, since negative emotions do not allow him to live in peace. Let's see what needs to be done to get rid of fear and anxiety, and what psychologists say about this.
Anxiety and fear are natural emotions that nature has endowed with humans. V difficult situation they help him by mobilizing physical and mental resources, and in a moment of danger they can even save his life.
But for some people, these negative states appear as if for no reason. In fact, there is a reason, it is simply hidden deep in the subconscious. For example, people who have gone through serious hardships or severe shocks begin to fear that a similar situation may recur in the future.
Pessimists, too, are often anxious and fearful. A negative outlook on life makes a person expect a bad outcome for almost any event. And if this really happens, the pessimist is even more asserted in the correctness of his way of thinking, thereby strengthening his tendency to negative experiences.
Symptoms of anxiety and fear
When a person begins to worry or fear something, he experiences not only negative emotions, but also certain physiological reactions. His muscles tense, his heartbeat and pulse become more frequent, there is a feeling of chills and lack of air in his chest. Hands begin to tremble, sweating intensifies. At the same time, obsessive thoughts swarm in the head, the imagination draws all sorts of unpleasant pictures, increasing the feeling of anxiety.
It is often difficult for a person to determine what kind of emotions he is experiencing. Anxiety is characterized by an unpleasant painful sensation in the chest, in the region of the heart, expectation of trouble. Fear leads to a state of panic, in which rational thinking is turned off in a person. He cannot calmly sit down and analyze the situation, he is simply afraid and panicked.
If the feelings do not leave a person for a long time, his appetite worsens or completely disappears, sleep becomes superficial and intermittent, he wakes up at night and cannot sleep for a long time. On the contrary, some people have an increased appetite, and they try to "seize" their negative emotions.
The state of chronic stress takes away strength, so a person feels exhausted and tired. All this cannot but affect his life. If you do not get rid of the feelings of fear and anxiety in a timely manner, there is a danger that they will develop into the present. mental disorder... Therefore, psychologists advise you to learn how to cope with negative experiences on your own.
Methods for dealing with fear and anxiety
Almost every person is able to overcome fears and anxiety, negative emotions and experiences. This is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. You just need to set a goal and follow the advice of psychologists. So, let's take a look at the most effective professional recommendations that you can apply at home.
- Identify the cause of your worries. If you want to get rid of anxiety and anxiety, be sure to find the cause. Think about the exact situation that scares you. Maybe you are afraid of heights, crowds, meeting strangers, or speaking in front of an audience. Remember when your fear first appeared, in what situation it happened.
- Don't hide from your fear, don't deny it. If you honestly acknowledge its presence in your life, it will become easier to deal with it.
- Learn to relax. Anxiety states force you to be in constant tension, take away energy and strength. Therefore, it is very important to learn how to relax. To do this, you can use any method: a warm bath, a walk in the park, an evening run on fresh air, doing yoga or meditation, breathing exercises listening to pleasant, soothing music. Try to distract yourself from the worries that torment you and give yourself up to the chosen activity.
- Discuss your fears with a loved one. There is nothing better than sharing your concerns with someone you trust. It could be close relative or a friend to whom you can open your soul. Tell us what worries and worries you and listen to the opinion of the interlocutor. Very often, after such a conversation, a person begins to relate to his problem more calmly, and experiences lose their urgency.
- Put your thoughts down on paper. If you don't have someone you can trust, don't despair. Keep a diary and write down any negative experiences. So it will be easier for you to understand yourself and understand what exactly worries you and in what situations fear manifests itself most strongly.
- Laugh and smile often. Bring more humor into your life. Watch comedies or humorous shows, read anecdotes, search the Internet for different funny jokes... It's good to do this with friends. So you can laugh enough, relieve tension and forget about your worries for a while.
- Don't sit around. When a person is not busy with anything, negative experiences begin to step on him, and dark thoughts spin in his head and do not allow him to relax. The best thing to do in a situation like this is to get busy. Do whatever you want: clean the apartment, cook a delicious dinner, pay attention to your husband or wife, play with your child, go to the store.
- Give your fears and anxieties a certain amount of time. Chances are, you won't be able to keep your experiences in check all the time. You don't need to do this. Set aside 20-30 minutes for them every day. During this time, let your imagination paint the scariest pictures. Unleash your anxiety, surrender to it completely. Don't analyze your emotions, just relive them. When the allotted time is over, return to your normal activities. If anxiety begins to overwhelm you during the day, just write down the thoughts that bother you on paper, and in the allotted time you can worry.
- Don't dwell on the past. If you have had unpleasant situations in the past that have caused inner fear or anxiety, your thoughts may often return to these events. Don't let them do that. The past has already passed and it is not at all a fact that the negative scenario will repeat itself again. Relax, calm your nerves and live in the moment.
- Get involved in visualization. As soon as your imagination begins to paint you terrible pictures of possible events, immediately, with an effort of will, switch it into a positive direction. Provide vividly and in detail the most favorable outcome of the situation that worries you. Visualize until you feel that the anxiety has left you, or at least significantly reduced. Psychologists and esotericists argue that regular positive visualization can influence life circumstances, turning them in the desired direction.
- Don't plan ahead. Usually, before an important event, people think over their every step, rehearse actions and words. If you are very anxious, then let your actions be spontaneous. Very often they turn out to be much more effective than planned. Trust the situation and act according to the circumstances.
- Don't feed your fears. If you have a tendency to worry too much, try to read or watch news, crime reports, and other information on TV as little as possible that will only exacerbate existing fears and create fertile ground for new ones to emerge.
- Change your eating habits. Certain foods we eat tend to make anxiety worse. This includes tea, coffee, alcohol. Reduce or eliminate these foods in your diet. By the way, an excessive passion for sweets also increases anxiety, because when blood sugar rises, a person has an unreasonable feeling of anxiety.
- Chat with people. If you feel anxiety is beginning to dominate you, don't sit alone. Go to a crowded place - cinema, theater, concert or exhibition. Meet with your friends often. Give preference to live communication, but if this is not possible, do not neglect talking on the phone, skype, and correspondence on the Internet.
- Use affirmations, mantras, mudras. In esoteric literature, you can find a lot effective means to combat negative experiences. Some of the most popular are Sytin's moods. You can use ready-made texts or come up with your own based on them.
Help of a psychologist in the fight against fears
If you've tried everything the above methods struggle with anxiety, but have not achieved anything, do not get upset. It is better to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Often, the roots of increased anxiety lie so deep in the subconscious that a person cannot find them on his own. The task of a psychologist is to help a person understand the causes of fear, remove them from the subconscious and teach him to overcome anxiety.
Some people are embarrassed to seek help from a psychologist. Do not do this. After all, you are not ashamed of a therapist or dentist, and a psychologist is the same specialist, only in the field of not physical, but mental problems. He will help you deal with your fears and provide helpful advice.
If you are struggling to deal with your anxiety, ask your therapist to prescribe anti-anxiety medications for you. You can use and folk remedies... Drink decoctions from medicinal herbs with a sedative effect. These include mint, lemon balm, valerian root, motherwort, chamomile.
Overcoming fear and anxiety is a step to victory
If you are tormented by anxiety or fear, do not be shy. Many people are afraid of something, but most of them try to overcome and remove their fears and, as a rule, they manage to win. Try it yourself.
Remember that negative emotions such as anxiety and fear can be turned in positive ways by making them work for you. Many famous people achieved success in life precisely because of their fear, which mobilized them, forcing them to work and go to new heights.
Doctors, scientists, athletes, poets, writers, artists and representatives of many other professions were afraid of being unrecognized, they were afraid of defeat and ridicule from other people, and these experiences helped them overcome difficulties and go towards their goal, making every effort to achieve it.
As you can see, anxiety and fear can be turned from enemies into allies. Work on yourself, and you will definitely cope with your negative experiences.
Today we will talk about how to get rid of fear of a very different nature: fear of death, fear of animals or insects, phobia associated with illness, injury, death as a result of an accident, etc.
In this article, I will talk not only about techniques to help you overcome fear, but also how to deal with fear and how to change your life in such a way that it remains in it. less space for alarm.
I myself had to go through many fears, especially during that period of my life when I experienced. I was afraid to die or go crazy. I was afraid that my health would become completely unusable. I was afraid of dogs. I was afraid of so many things.
Since then, some of my fears have completely disappeared. I learned to control some fears. I learned to live with other fears. I have done a lot of work on myself. I hope my experience, which I will outline in this article, will help you too.
Where does fear come from?
Since ancient times, the mechanism for the emergence of fear has performed a protective function. He shielded us from danger. Many people are instinctively afraid of snakes, because this quality was passed on to them by inheritance from their ancestors. After all, those of them who were afraid of these animals and, as a result, avoided them, had more chances not to die from a poisonous bite than those who showed fearlessness towards crawling creatures. Fear helped those who experienced it to survive and pass this quality on to their offspring. After all, only the living can reproduce.
Fear causes people to feel a strong urge to flee when faced with something that their brain regards as danger. Many people are afraid of heights. But they cannot help but guess about it, until they find themselves high for the first time. Their legs will instinctively begin to give way. The brain will give alarming signals. The person will be eager to leave this place.
But fear helps not only to protect yourself from danger during its occurrence. It allows a person to avoid even potential danger wherever possible.
Anyone who is mortally afraid of heights will no longer climb onto the roof, since he will remember what strong unpleasant emotions he experienced when he was there last time. And thus, possibly save himself from the risk of death as a result of a fall.
Unfortunately, since the time of our distant ancestors, the environment in which we live has changed a lot. AND fear is not always in line with our survival goals. And even if it does, it doesn’t contribute to our happiness and comfort in any way.
People have many social fears that prevent them from achieving their goals. They are often afraid of things that pose no threat. Or the threat is dismissively small.
The odds of dying in a passenger plane crash are roughly one in 8 million. However, many people are afraid to travel by air. Getting to know another person is not a threat, but many men or women experience great anxiety about being around other people.
Many quite common fears can turn into an uncontrollable form. Natural concern for the safety of your children can turn into acute paranoia. Fear of losing your life or harming yourself sometimes turns into a mania, an obsession with safety. Some people spend a lot of their time in seclusion, trying to protect themselves from the dangers that allegedly lie in wait for them on the street.
We see that the natural mechanism formed by evolution often gets in our way. Many fears do not protect us, but rather make us vulnerable. So you need to intervene in this process. I will tell you how to do this further.
Method 1 - Stop being afraid of fear
The first tips will help you understand fear correctly.
You ask me: “I just want to stop being afraid of mice, spiders, open or closed spaces. Are you suggesting that we simply stop being afraid of fear itself? "
What reactions does the feeling of fear evoke in a person? As we found out earlier this:
- Desire to eliminate the object of fear. (If a person is afraid of snakes, will he run away? When he sees them
- Unwillingness to repeat this feeling (A person will avoid snakes wherever possible, not build a dwelling next to their den, etc.)
These two reactions tell us our instincts. A person who is afraid of dying in a plane crash will instinctively avoid airplanes. But if he suddenly has to fly somewhere, he will try to do everything so as not to feel fear. For example, he gets drunk, takes sedatives, asks for someone to calm him down. He will do this because he is afraid of the feeling of fear.
But in the context of fear management, this behavior often makes no sense. After all, the fight against fear is a fight against instincts. And if we want to conquer instincts, we should not be guided by their logic, which is indicated in the two points above.
Of course, during an anxiety attack, the most logical behavior for us is flight or trying to get rid of the fear attack. But this logic is whispered to us by our instincts, which we must defeat!
It is due to the fact that during attacks of fear people behave the way their gut tells them, they cannot get rid of these fears. They go to the doctor, sign up for hypnosis and say, “I never want to experience this again! Fear torments me! I want to stop being afraid altogether! Deliver me from this! " Some methods can help them for a while, but still fear can return to them in one form or another. Because they listened to their instincts, which told them: “Fear fear! You can only be free when you get rid of him! "
It turns out that many people cannot get rid of fear, because, first of all, they seek to get rid of it! Now I will explain this paradox.
Fear is just a program
Imagine that you have invented a robot that washes the floors of your house, including the balcony. The robot can use the reflection of radio signals to estimate the height at which it is. And so that he does not fall off the edge of the balcony, you programmed him in such a way that his brain signals him to stop if he finds himself on the edge of the height difference.
You left the house and left the robot to clean. What did you find when you returned? The robot froze on the doorstep between your room and the kitchen and was unable to cross it due to the slight height difference! A signal in his brain told him to stop!
If the robot had "intelligence", "consciousness", he would understand that there is no danger at the border of two rooms, since the height is small. And then he could cross it, despite the fact that the brain continues to send a signal of danger! The robot's mind would simply not obey the absurd command of its brain.
A person has a consciousness that is also not obliged to follow the commands of his "primitive" brain. And the first thing you should do if you want to get rid of fear is stop trusting fear, stop taking it as a guide to action, stop being afraid of it. You need to act a little in a paradoxical way, and not as your instinct tells you.
After all, fear is just a feeling. Roughly speaking, this is the same program that the robot from our example executes when it approaches the balcony. This is a program that your brain starts on a chemical level (with the help of adrenaline, for example), after it receives information from your organs of perception.
Fear is simply a stream of chemical signals that are converted into a command for your body.
But your consciousness, in spite of the work of the program, can itself understand in what cases it encountered a real danger, and in what situations it deals with a failure in the "instinctive program" (approximately the same failure that occurred with the robot when it could not climb through the threshold).
If you are experiencing fear, this does not mean that there is any danger. You shouldn't always trust all your senses, as they often deceive you. Do not run away from a non-existent danger, do not seek to somehow calm this feeling. Just try to calmly wait until the "siren" ("alarm! Save yourself!") In your head is silent. This will often be just a false alarm.
And it is in this direction that you must move in the first place if you want to get rid of fear. In the direction of allowing your consciousness, not a “primitive” brain, to make decisions (boarding a plane, approaching a stranger).
After all, there is nothing wrong with this feeling! There is nothing wrong with fear! It's just chemistry! This is an illusion! There is nothing terrible in experiencing this feeling sometimes.
It's okay to be afraid. There is no need to strive to immediately get rid of fear (or from what this fear causes). Because if you only think about how to get rid of him, you follow his lead, you listen to what he tells you, you obey him, you take it seriously... You think: "I am afraid to fly on an airplane, therefore I will not fly" or "I will fly on an airplane only when I stop being afraid of flying", "because I believe, fear and am afraid of it." And then you keep feeding your fear! You can stop feeding him if only you stop giving him great importance.
When you think, “I’m afraid to fly on an airplane, but I’ll still fly on it. And I will not be afraid of a fit of fear, because it’s just a feeling, chemistry, a game of my instincts. Let him come, because there is nothing terrible in fear! " Then you stop obeying fear.
You will get rid of fear only when you stop wanting to get rid of it and live with it!
Breaking the vicious circle
I have already spoken about this example from my life more than once and will repeat it again here. I took the first step towards getting rid of panic attacks as sudden attacks of fear only when I stopped fixating on getting rid of it! I began to think: “Let the attacks come. This fear is just an illusion. I will be able to survive these attacks, there is nothing terrible in them. "
And then I stopped being afraid of them, I became ready for them. For four years I went on about them, thinking: "when will this end, when will the attacks go away, what should I do?" But when I applied a tactic to them that was opposite to the logic of my instincts, when I stopped driving away fear, only then did it start to go away!
Our instincts trap us. Of course, this thoughtless program of the body is aimed at making us obey it (roughly speaking, the instincts “want” us to obey them), so that we are afraid of the appearance of fear, and not accept it. But this only makes the whole situation worse.
When we start to fear our fears, to take them seriously, we only make them stronger. The fear of fear only increases the total amount of fear and even provokes the fear itself. I was personally convinced of the truth of this principle when I suffered from panic attacks. The more I was afraid of new attacks of fear, the more often they happened.
With my fear of attacks, I only drove the fear that arises during a panic attack. These two fears (fear itself and the fear of fear) are linked by positive feedback and reinforce each other.
A person caught up in them falls into a vicious circle. He is afraid of new seizures and thereby causes them, and seizures, in turn, cause even greater fear of them! We can get out of this vicious circle if we remove the fear of fear, and not the fear itself, as many people want. Since we can influence this type of fear much more strongly than fear in its pure form.
If we talk about fear in its "pure form", then it often does not have a very large weight in the total aggregate of fear. I want to say that if we are not afraid of him, then it is easier for us to get through these discomfort. Fear ceases to be "scary".
Don't worry if you don't quite understand these conclusions, or if you don't quite understand how to achieve this attitude towards your fear. This understanding will not come immediately. But you can better understand this when you read my following tips and apply the guidelines from them.
Method 2 - Think Prospects
I gave this advice in my last article. Here I will dwell on this point in more detail.
Perhaps this advice will not help you to cope with every fear, but it will help you to cope with some anxieties. The fact is that when we are afraid, we, as a rule, think about the very moment of realization of our fear, and not about what may await us in the future.
Let's say you're afraid of losing your job. It provides you with comfortable working conditions, and the salary at this place allows you to buy the things that you want to have. At the thought that you will be deprived of it, fear grips you. You immediately imagine how you will have to look for another job that may pay worse than the one you lost. You will no longer be able to spend as much money as you used to spend, and this causes you anxiety.
But instead of imagining how bad it will be for you when you lose your job, think about what will happen next. Cross mentally the line that you are afraid to cross. Let's say you lose your job. Ask yourself what will happen in the future? Imagine your future over a long period of time with all the nuances.
You will start searching new job... It is not at all necessary that you will not find a job with the same salary. There is a chance that you will find an even better paying job. You may not know for sure how much other companies are ready to offer to a specialist of your level until you go to interviews.
Even if you have to work for less money, which one? You may not be able to frequent expensive restaurants for a while. You will buy cheaper food than you bought before, prefer to rest abroad in the country at home or with a friend. I understand that now it seems scary to you, because you are used to living differently. But a person always gets used to everything. The time will come and you will get used to it, just as you are used to a lot of things in your life. But, it is quite possible that this situation will not last your whole life, you will be able to achieve a promotion in a new job!
When a child's toy is taken away, he stomps his foot and cries, because he cannot realize that in the future (perhaps in a couple of days) he will get used to the absence of this toy and he will have other, more interesting things. Because a child becomes a hostage of his momentary emotions and cannot think in the future!
Don't turn into this child. Think constructively about your fears.
If you are afraid that your husband will betray you and leave for another woman, think, so what? Millions of couples break up and no one dies from it. You will suffer for a while, but then you will begin to live new life... After all, any human emotion is temporary! Don't be afraid of these emotions. They will come and go.
Imagine a real picture in your head: how you will live, how you will get out of suffering, how you will make new interesting acquaintances, how you will have a chance to correct the mistakes of the past! Think prospects, not failures! About new happiness, not suffering!
Method 3 - Be Prepared
When I’m nervous on a plane that’s coming in for a landing, thinking about the statistics of plane crashes doesn’t help me much. So what if disasters are rare? So what if it is statistically more dangerous to get to the airport by car than flying by plane? These thoughts do not save me in those moments when the plane starts to shake or it continues to circle over the airport. Anyone who experiences this fear will understand me.
In such situations, fear makes us think: "What if I am now on exactly one of the eight million flights, which should turn into a disaster?" And no statistics can help. After all, unlikely does not mean impossible! In this life, everything is possible, so you need to be ready for everything.
Attempts to calm yourself down, such as “everything will be fine, nothing will happen” usually does not help. Because such admonitions are lies. And the truth is that what happens, can do anything! And you need to accept it.
"Not a very optimistic conclusion for an article on getting rid of fear" - you think.
In fact, things are not so bad, willingness helps to overcome fear. And do you know what train of thought helps me out on such intense flights? I think, “Airplanes rarely crash. It is highly unlikely that something bad will happen right now. But, nevertheless, it is possible. In the worst case, I will die. But I still have to die someday. Death is inevitable anyway. Every human life ends with it. The catastrophe will simply bring closer what will ever happen with 100% probability. "
As you can see, being ready does not mean looking at things with a doomed gaze, thinking: "I will die soon." This means simply realistically assessing the situation: “it is not a fact that a catastrophe will occur. But if that happens, then so be it. "
Of course, this does not completely remove the fear. I'm still afraid of death, but it helps to be prepared. What is the point of worrying all your life about the fact that it will inevitably happen? It is better to be at least a little ready and not think about your death as something that will never happen to us.
I understand that this advice is very difficult to implement in practice. Moreover, not everyone always wants to think about death.
But people who are tormented by the most absurd fears often write to me. Someone, for example, is afraid to go outside, because they believe that it is dangerous there, while at home it is much safer. This person will find it difficult to cope with their fear if they wait for this fear to pass so that they can go outside. But he may feel better if he thinks: “Let there be danger on the street. But you can't sit at home all the time! You cannot completely protect yourself, even when you are within four walls. Or I will go outside and put myself in danger of dying and injury (this danger is negligible). Or I will stay at home until my death! Death that will happen anyway. If I die now, then I will die. But most likely this will not happen in the near future. "
If people stop dwelling so much on their fears, and can at least sometimes look them in the face, realizing that behind them there is nothing but emptiness, then fears will cease to have so much power over us. We should not be so much afraid of losing what we already lose.
Fear and emptiness
An attentive reader will ask me: “But if we take this logic to the limit, it turns out that if there is no point in being afraid of losing those things that we will lose anyway, then there is no point in being afraid of anything at all! After all, nothing lasts forever! "
Exactly so, although this is contrary to everyday logic. At the end of all fear, there is emptiness. We have nothing to fear, because all things are temporary.
This thesis can be very difficult to understand intuitively.
But I'm not trying too hard to make you understand it on a theoretical level, but to use it in practice. How? I'll explain now.
I myself use this principle regularly. I am still afraid of many things. But remembering this principle, I understand that my every fear is meaningless. I shouldn't "feed" him and get too carried away by him. When I think about it, I find the strength to defy fear.
Many people, when they are very afraid of something, subconsciously believe that they "should be afraid", that there are really terrible things. They think that in relation to these things no other reaction is possible except fear. But if you know that they are afraid, in principle, there is nothing in this life, since everything will happen anyway, if you realize the meaninglessness, the "emptiness" of fear, if you understand that there are no really terrible things, but there is only a subjective reaction to these things, then fear will become easier to deal with. I will return to this point at the end of the article.
Method 4 - Observe
The next few methods will help you deal with the fear as it arises.
Instead of giving in to fear, try just observing it from the outside. Try to localize this fear in your thoughts, feel it as some kind of energy that is generated in certain parts of the body. Direct your breath to these areas in your mind. Try to make your breathing slow and calm.
Don't get caught up in your fear with your thoughts. Just watch how it forms. Sometimes it helps to remove fear altogether. Even if the fear persists, it's okay. Becoming an impassive observer, you begin to realize your fear as something external to your “I”, as something that no longer has such power over this “I”.
When you watch, fear is much easier to control. After all, the feeling of fear forms like a snowball. At first you are simply scared, then all sorts of thoughts begin to creep into your head: "what if something happens?"
And these thoughts feed the fear, it becomes even stronger and causes even more disturbing thoughts. We find ourselves again inside a vicious circle!
But by observing the feelings, we try to get rid of any thoughts and interpretations. We do not feed our fear with our thoughts, and then it becomes weaker. Don't let your own mind amplify fear. To do this, simply turn off thinking, evaluating and interpreting and go into observation mode. Don't think about the past or the future. stay in the moment with your fear!
Method 5 - Breathe
During anxiety attacks, try to breathe deeply, taking longer breaths in and out. Diaphragmatic breathing is good for calming the nervous system and, according to scientific research, stops the fight-or-flight response, which is directly related to the feeling of fear.
Diaphragmatic breathing means breathing through your belly, not your chest. Focus on how you breathe. Count the time for inhalation and exhalation. Try to keep this time equal for inhalation and exhalation and long enough. (4 - 10 seconds.) Just don't suffocate. Breathing should be comfortable.
Method 6 - Relax your body
When fear attacks you, try to relax. Calmly run your attention through every muscle in your body and relax it. You can combine this technique with breathing. Direct your breath mentally to different parts of your body, in order, starting with your head and ending with your feet.
Method 7 - Remember how your fear was not fulfilled
This technique can help you deal with minor and repetitive fears. For example, you are constantly afraid that you might offend the person or make a bad impression on him. But it usually turns out that your fear never materialized. It turned out that you did not offend anyone, and it was just your own mind that scared you.
If this is repeated from time to time, then when again you are afraid that you said something wrong when communicating, remember how often your fear did not come true. And most likely, you will understand there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
But be prepared for anything! Even if there is a possibility that someone is offended by you, then there is little trouble! Make peace! Do not betray of great importance what has already happened. Most of your own mistakes can be corrected.
Method 8 - Treat Fear as a Thrill
Remember, I wrote that fear is just a feeling? If you are afraid of something, it does not mean that there is some kind of danger. This feeling sometimes does not relate to reality, but is just a spontaneous chemical reaction in your head. Instead of being afraid of this reaction, treat it like a thrill, like a free ride. You don't have to pay money and put yourself in danger by skydiving for adrenaline rush. This adrenaline appears out of the blue. The beauty!
Method 9 - Accept Your Fear, Don't Resist
Above, I talked about techniques that will help you quickly deal with your fear at the time it arises. But you don't need to get attached to these techniques. When people hear something about ways to control fear or, they sometimes fall into the trap of believing in self-control. They start thinking, “Hurray! It turns out fear can be controlled! And now I know how to do it! Then I will certainly get rid of him! "
They start to rely heavily on these techniques. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. And when people are unable to cope with fear using these methods, they start to panic: “I can't control it! Why? Yesterday it worked, but not today! What should I do? I need to deal with this urgently! I have to manage this! "
They begin to worry and thus only increase their fear. But the truth is that far away not always everything can be controlled... Sometimes these techniques will work, sometimes they won't. Of course, try to breathe, observe the fear, but if it does not pass, there is nothing terrible about it. No need to panic, no need to look for a new way out of the situation, leave everything as it is, accept your fear. You don't "have" to get rid of it at the same time. The word "must" does not apply here at all. Because you are now feeling the way you are feeling. What happens is happening. Accept this and stop resisting.
Method 10 - Don't get attached to things
The following methods will allow you to remove fears from your life.
As the Buddha said: "the basis of human suffering (dissatisfaction, the inability to come to ultimate satisfaction) is attachment (desire)." Attachment, in my opinion, is understood more as dependence than love.
If we are strongly attached to something, for example, we badly need to produce an effect on the opposite sex, to achieve permanent victories on the love front, then this will lead us into a state of eternal dissatisfaction, and not happiness and pleasure, as it seems to us ... The sexual feeling, the conceit, cannot be fully saturated. After each new victory, these feelings will demand more and more. New successes on the love front will bring you less and less pleasure over time ("pleasure inflation"), while failures will make us suffer. We will live in constant fear that we will lose our charm and attractiveness (and sooner or later this will still happen with the advent of old age) and again we will suffer. At a time when there will be no love affairs, we will not feel the joy of life.
Perhaps some people will find it easier to understand attachment through the example of money. As long as we strive for money, it seems to us that by earning some amount of money, we will achieve happiness. But when we achieve this goal, happiness does not come and we want more! Complete satisfaction is unattainable! We are chasing carrots on a fishing rod.
But it would be much easier for you if you were not so attached to this and were happy with what we have (it is not necessary to stop striving for the best). This is what Buddha meant when he said that attachment is the cause of dissatisfaction. But attachments not only create dissatisfaction and suffering, they create fear.
After all, we are afraid of losing exactly what we are so strongly attached to!
I'm not saying that you need to go to the mountains, throw your personal life and destroy all attachments. Getting rid of attachments completely is an extreme teaching suitable for extreme cases. But despite this, modern man can derive some benefit from this principle for himself, without going to extremes.
To experience less fear, you don't need to get too hung up on certain things and put them at the core of your existence. If you think, “I live for my work,” “I live only for my children,” then you may have a strong fear of losing these things. After all, your whole life boils down to them.
That's why try to diversify your life as much as possible, to let in a lot of new things, to enjoy many things, and not just one thing. Be happy because you breathe and live, not just because you have a lot of money and attractiveness to the opposite sex. Although, as I said above, the last things will not bring you happiness.
(In this sense, attachments are not only the cause of suffering, but its effect! People who are deeply unhappy on the inside begin to desperately cling to external things in search of satisfaction: sex, entertainment, alcohol, new experiences. But happy people tend to be more self-sufficient. The basis of their happiness is life itself, not things. Therefore, they are not so afraid of losing them.)
Affection does not mean lack of love. As I wrote above, this is more understood as addiction than love. For example, I have very high hopes for this site. I love to develop it. If something bad happens to him, it will be a blow for me, but not the end of my whole life! After all, I have many other interesting things to do in my life. But my happiness is shaped not only by them, but by the very fact that I live.
Method 11 - Cultivate Your Ego
Remember, you are not alone in this world. The whole existence is not limited only to your fears and problems. Stop obsessing about yourself. There are other people in the world with their own fears and concerns.
Understand that an immense world with its laws exists around you. Everything in nature is subject to birth, death, decay, disease. Everything in this world is finite. And you yourself are part of this universal order, not the center of it!
If you feel yourself in harmony with this world, without opposing yourself to it, realize your existence as an integral part of the natural order, you will understand that you are not alone, that you, together with all living beings, are moving in the same direction. And this has always been the case, forever and ever.
With this consciousness, your fears will disappear. How can such a consciousness be achieved? It must come along with the development of the personality. One way to achieve this state is to practice meditation.
Method 12 - Meditate
In this article I talked about the fact that you cannot identify yourself with your fear, that this is just a feeling that you need to be ready for everything, that you cannot put your own ego at the center of all existence.
This is easy to understand theoretically, but not always easy to apply in practice. It is not enough just to read about it, it needs to be practiced, day after day, applying in real life... Not all things in this world are available for "intellectual" cognition.
The attitude towards fears, which I spoke about at the beginning, needs to be brought up in oneself. The way to come to these conclusions in practice, to realize that fear is just an illusion, is meditation.
Meditation provides an opportunity to "reprogram" yourself so that you are happier and more free. Nature is a wonderful "constructor", but her creations are not ideal, biological mechanisms (the mechanism of fear) that worked in the Stone Age do not always work in the modern world.
Meditation will allow you to partially correct the imperfection of nature, change your standard emotional reactions to many things, move away from fear to calmness, come to a clearer understanding of the illusory nature of fear, understand that fear is not part of your personality and get rid of it!
Through practice, you can find the source of happiness in yourself and not have strong attachments to different things... You will learn to accept your emotions and fears, not resist them. Meditation will teach you to watch your fear from the outside without getting involved in it.
Meditation will not only help you come to some important understanding of yourself and life. The practice has been scientifically proven to calm the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for feelings of stress. It will make you calmer and less stressed. It will teach you how to deeply relax and get rid of fatigue and tension. And this is very important for people who are afraid.
You can listen to my short lecture on how to follow the link.
Method 13 - Don't let fear be imposed on you
Many of us are used to the fact that everyone around us only talks about how scary it is to live, what terrible diseases exist, gasp and groan. And this perception is transferred to us. We begin to think that there are really scary things that we "should" be afraid of, since everyone is afraid of them!
Fear, surprisingly, can be a consequence of stereotypes. They are naturally afraid of death, and almost all people are afraid of it. But when we see the constant lamentations of other people about the death of loved ones, when we observe how our elderly friend cannot come to terms with the death of her son, who died 30 years ago, then we begin to think that this is not just scary, but terrible! That there is no chance of taking it any differently.
In fact, these things become so terrible only in our perception. And there is always the possibility of treating them differently. When Einstein died, he accepted death quite calmly, he treated it as an unchanging order of things. If you ask someone spiritually developed person maybe a religious ascetic, a convinced Christian or a Buddhist, how he relates to death, he will certainly be calm on this score. And this is not necessarily connected only with the fact that the former believes in an immortal soul, a posthumous existence, while the latter, although he does not believe in a soul, but believes in reincarnation. This is due to the fact that they are spiritually evolved and have tamed their egos. No, I am not saying that you need to seek salvation in religion, I am trying to prove that a different attitude to those things that we consider terrible, perhaps, and it can be achieved along with spiritual development!
Do not listen to those who say how scary everything is, These people are wrong. In fact, there are almost no things in this world to be afraid of. Or not at all.
And watch less TV.
Method 14 - Do not avoid situations in which fear arises (!!!)
I have highlighted this point with three exclamation marks because this is one of the most important tips in this article. I casually touched on this issue in the first paragraphs, here I will dwell on it in more detail.
I have already said that the instinctive tactics of behavior during fear (to run away, to be afraid, to avoid some situations) is the wrong tactics in the context of the task of getting rid of fear. If you are afraid to leave the house, then you will never cope with this fear, if you just stay at home.
What can you do? Go outside! Forget your fear! Let him appear, do not be afraid of him, let him in and do not resist. However, do not take it seriously, because it is just a feeling. You can get rid of your fear only when you start to ignore the very fact of its appearance and live as if there is no fear!
- To defeat your fear of flying, you need to fly as often as possible.
- To overcome the fear of the need for self-defense, one must enroll in the martial arts section.
- To defeat your fear of dating girls, you need to meet girls!
You must do what you are afraid to do! Easy way no. Forget about "should", get rid of fear as soon as possible. Just go for it.
Method 15 - Strengthen the Nervous System
How much you are susceptible to fear depends very much on your state of health in general and on the health of your nervous system in particular. Therefore, improve your work, learn to cope with stress, do yoga, quit. I analyzed these points in my other articles, so I will not write about them here. Strengthening your body is very important thing in the fight against depression, fears and bad moods. Please do not neglect this and do not limit yourself to one "emotional work". V healthy body a healthy mind.
Conclusion
This article does not call to immerse yourself in a world of sweet dreams and hide from fear. In this article, I tried to tell you how important it is to learn to face your fears, accept them, live with them, and not hide from them.
This path may not be the easiest, but only it is correct. All your fears will disappear only when you stop being afraid of the very feeling of fear. When you're done trusting him. When you will not let him tell you what transport to get to the resting place, how often to go outside, what kind of people you should communicate with. When you start living as if there is no fear.
Only then will he leave. Or it won't go away. But this will no longer matter to you, since fear will become only a minor obstacle for you. Why attach importance to the little things?
Good news for those struggling to cope with the daily stress of family and work: there are available ways get rid of constant excitement and anxiety. The author of a new book on stress recommends using simple acupressure exercises as first aid. It is also within our power to change our reaction to stress, for this we need to understand the work of the adrenal glands.
Any stress that we attribute to our emotional state - for example, anxiety, low self-esteem or violent reaction - are actually related to our physiology. These so-called "false feelings" are due to a lack of brain chemical reaction able to maintain resistance to stress. However, such conditions can be quickly corrected by changing your physiology.
I asked an integrative medicine specialist from Harvard University, Dr. medical sciences Sarah Gottfried, how to stop feeling like a failure if you can't live every moment of your life as if you were a superhero. She proposed a new mantra: "These are my adrenal glands, this is not me." According to Gottfried, we should stop blaming ourselves and try to jump over our heads, and instead should "think about our biology."
Stress and the adrenal glands: how does it work?
Up to 70% of people who report stress actually suffer from some degree of adrenal imbalance (the organs that produce hormones responsible for your stress response). In conditions of chronic stress, our body goes through three stages, which are characterized by varying degrees imbalance of the adrenal glands and ultimately their depletion.
In the first stage we build up extra energy to deal with stressors. After the first rush of adrenaline, the adrenal glands begin to release cortisol, which initially - and in small quantities - is a source of strength and endurance for us. In the right amount, cortisol helps metabolize food, fights allergies and reduces inflammation.
But if the state of overexcitement continues, the adrenal glands begin to release too much adrenaline and cortisol, replacing them with our neurotransmitters responsible for good mood, namely serotonin (a source of self-confidence and optimism) and dopamine (a source of pleasure). When cortisol circulates chronically in the body, it begins to stimulate inflammatory responses and can cause the diseases that it was originally intended to protect against. Accordingly, signs of illness or infection appear.
We no longer experience the "euphoria" associated with an adrenaline rush; instead of this a bad mood or even depression appears... Too much or too little cortisol can lead to a weakened focus, feeling overwhelmed. We use external stimulants such as caffeine, salty or sugary foods. We exhaust ourselves even more by playing sports, or, conversely, we stop everything. physical exercise... We begin to feel chronic fatigue and irritation.
At the last stage adrenal imbalance, these organs are so damaged that they are no longer able to produce enough stress hormones. Every minor problem now seems global catastrophe... From now on, for example, when your son is pouring milk or your boss throws a disapproving glance at you, this is truly the end of the world for you.
Adrenal exhaustion: how to avoid?
We all experience this state - from time to time. But if this is a habitual way of life for you, perhaps your body is at risk of depletion of the adrenal glands. "A diet high in sugar and low in protein triggers stress reactions, even though we don't realize it," says bestselling author and nutritionist Julia Ross. Ironically, over 70% of people eat the most junk food just to get rid of emotional stress... We should all check our stress hormones so that we know exactly where we are on the adrenal depletion spectrum.
Rather than wrestling through the thorns of stress or anxiety (and then beating yourself up for it), it's worth learning as much about your physiology as possible. You can do a saliva test using a test sold at the pharmacy, or have a blood test done at any health care provider who can help you interpret the results. Then, using the drugs prescribed for you, you can restore normal level hormones in the adrenal glands.
Many experts recommend starting with nutrition - making the necessary dietary changes and watching for improvements. Start with minor but consistent dietary changes (such as a diet high in protein and gluten-free vegetables), take natural vitamins and supplements (more B vitamins and fish oil rich in omega-3 acids, for example), and also try natural herbs(for example, rhodiola for concentration and balance; chamomile or passionflower to stimulate the “calming” parts of your brain).
Now I want to reveal to you some secret tricks with which you will instantly increase your self-confidence and reduce the level of anxiety.
4 quick ways to get rid of anxiety
One of the components of high stress resistance is the ability to pull yourself together and remain calm and confident, no matter what is happening around. You can do this using the following exercises.
What is the use of acupressure exercises, that is, biologically hotspots on hands? Many nerve endings are concentrated at the fingertips. Folding the fingers into various combinations and holding them in this position for a specific time has a healing pressure on certain nerve endings. These hand and finger positions can stimulate the exercise of different qualities (for example, fearlessness, confidence, a sense of power and peace) in the person doing the exercise, and can have a healing effect if various problems with health.
In fact, you have the key to your internal first aid kit.
Exercise 1: panic shutdown point
If you, like many other people, are nervous before public speaking, use the following acupressure point, which I call the "panic off point."
Hand position: thumb hand touch the "knuckle" of the middle (third) finger. Then move your thumb towards your palm until you feel a “soft” depression or small depression. The pressure should be moderate. By pressing this point, you help regulate pressure and reduce anxiety.
Exercise 2: the point of confidence
To stimulate a state of confidence, try clicking on the “confidence point”. By clicking on this point, you send a signal that reduces internal emotional tension, stimulating a state of calm. Fold your arms into an appropriate position for at least 30 seconds before speaking, giving a presentation, or any other time you need a "boost of confidence."
Hand position: place the thumb of either hand on the side of the index finger between the first and second joints. Apply mild to moderate pressure.
Exercise 3: Fear Breathing Technique
You can train your body to get rid of fear. Vigorous exhalations stimulate the PNS, promoting calmness. I used this breathing technique to get rid of claustrophobia so that it would be easier for me to live in New York, where the crowded subways and elevators are an integral part of life.
Breathing technique: inhale vigorously through the nose and exhale through the mouth, concentrating on each inhalation and exhalation. As you exhale, throw your arms forward forcefully, as if you are pushing away from yourself something that you do not like. Then, as you inhale, return your arms to your chest in a straight line, with your elbows pressed to your sides. Breathe out sharply through your mouth, throwing out your hands again. Repeat one more time.
Hand position: bring the tips of your thumb and forefinger together and raise your hands in front of your chest, palms away from you.
Duration: start by doing this exercise for one minute, gradually work out to three minutes. The first time you exercise, you may feel a little dizzy - just stop if you feel uncomfortable.
Exercise 4: Hand Position to Encourage Finding Solutions
For effective solution problems, you must be confident in your abilities and listen to your intuition. The following hand positions can be used to activate the problem-solving brain center. This position helps you focus on a point on your forehead, which corresponds to the approximate location of your pineal gland and is located at the intersection of the left and right hemispheres. This point is access to "general brain thinking". In some spiritual and physical traditions of yoga, it is considered the "third eye" - the intersection of intuition and wisdom.
Hand position: connect the tip thumb right hand with the tips of the second (index) and third (middle) fingers. Place the “tip” of this triangle about 2.5 cm from the point on the forehead, which is about 2.5 cm above the point directly between the eyes. At the same time, in the same way, connect the tip of your left thumb with the tips of your second (index) and third (middle) fingers. Place the “tip” of this triangle about 2.5 cm from the point on your forehead that will correspond to your “intuition”.
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Discussion
My daughter changed school in adolescence - this is a big problem... New team, new teachers. There was excitement bad dream, absent-mindedness. They began to drink 1 tablet of glycine forte at night. The result was not long in coming. New friends appeared and my studies improved.
16.10.2018 21:07:32, Elizaveta SimonovaHere I always have a good mood))
I hope it helps me
Comment on the article "Stress, Anxiety, Panic: How to Get Rid of? 4 quick ways"
Discussion
You don't have to give anything.
Change of activity, change of topics of conversation, walks, some suitable physical activity, massage, good positive atmosphere at home, no feeling of oppression and fatality of what is happening.
With these medications, you will only aggravate the significance of what is happening in the mind of the child.
Life goes on as usual, and exams are theirs - and exams will end very soon, but life will continue.
Watch your mood still.
Don't demonize these exams.
Try brahma rasayana.
28.03.2018 22:58:44, atAdvise a sedative. Pharmacies, medications and vitamins. Medicine and health. +1 It helps me a lot when I need it. Pharmacies, medicines and vitamins. Marin, doctor Persen prescribed for me (it was in the first trimester, so that I would not ...
Discussion
Drink drops of Morozov at night. And while driving, sedatives are prohibited, vigilance is dulled
Yes, such Magic wand is and is called tenoten. It just can be taken by those who are driving, since there is no drowsiness and other side effects... He helped me a lot in his time. Recommend
Discussion
Glycine went down properly. You can and should drink it in the fall-winter. It is for the brain and harmless. Do not give anything before the exam. More often from this lethargy, drowsiness. Those will be even worse.
Go to bed on time before the exam. In the morning, have breakfast not very hearty and drink tea with sugar. Glucose is brain food. So chocolate is advised for examinations. We were always told to stir up a couple of refined sugar cubes and eat right before the exam.
In general, you need to learn and nothing will be scary to those who know. There are still so many exams ahead ... and the good ones are just in order to understand their problems and eliminate them.
I give Afobazol.
Pharmacies, medicines and vitamins. Medicine and health. Section: Pharmacies, Medicines and Vitamins. what to drink so as not to cry. Girls, my son has a graduation tomorrow, and I'm very emotional in general, and by such moments in particular, I can't cry ...
Actually the question is: is it possible to somehow achieve a change in the response to stress. But this is not the first such situation when I turn off from severe stress. It's just that this one is very good example, where it is clearly seen that even the possibility of losing a child does not allow ...
The above drugs are not at all creepy, I have studied the issue a lot - they are quite used in the modern world - they just have a strong side effect, therefore they are not recommended for the elderly. Pain relievers, pain relievers, pain relievers.
