Human life is made up of big and small decisions. Every day we make a choice of what time to get up, what to eat for breakfast and which way to go to work. Even such little things sometimes cause serious concern, not to mention something bigger: which university to go to, what job to get, who to marry - or maybe divorce, quit and go in search of something better? The answer to such questions is often depression, a desire to trust the will of chance or just leave everything as it is and go with the flow. After all, having done something, so often you have to repent of it later. But repentance for inaction is no less common. How to learn to make the right choice?
Lack of information
One of the main obstacles that appears when you need to make a choice is the incompleteness of the available information. It is impossible to foresee all difficulties, prevent all problems, calculate all the details - simply because, alas, we are not given the opportunity to see the future. On the other hand, each of the available options is at least a little bit, but a pig in a poke.
Fatalism and knowledge
The consequences of our actions are difficult to predict, but this is not a reason not to make a choice at all and surrender to the mercy of fate. First, find out as much as possible about the subjects of choice. True, it is still impossible to find out absolutely everything about them and exclude the will of chance from the most thoughtful plan. It remains only to come to terms with it and believe in yourself: no matter what you do, no matter what happens, you will cope with possible problems and reap the benefits. This thought reduces internal tension: you no longer require yourself to make a completely unmistakable choice.
Decision making methods
1. You can sit down, lie down, walk down the street (as you think better) and mentally weigh all the options. You can do the same on a piece of paper: describe each option, its advantages and disadvantages. For greater clarity, you can even draw a table in the columns of which you list all the pros and cons of each option, and then read them off - and, perhaps, with peace of mind, choose the option that has the most advantages. Just do not forget that their quantity does not always correspond to the quality.
2. There are less rational way... Dry calculations of income and expense are meaningless if what you will feel in a given situation is more important to you. Then it is better to imagine each possible option in turn and experience it in your imagination. So you will find out what your emotional reaction will be in one case or another, and whether you will like it.
3. Trust your intuition. Making a choice with its help is an invaluable talent: if it is possible to foresee accidents, then only with the help of such an irrational instinct. This does not mean that you need to choose at random, but if you feel that, contrary to all logic, something tells you a completely different solution, do not rush to throw it out of your head.
Some are more natural for you, some less: it depends on the way of thinking. It is more convenient and easier to use your own, native, but it is worth trying others and applying them in parallel: this way you can look at your problem from different angles and get a more complete picture.
Hello dear readers! How to understand that a suitable person is nearby? Is it worth listening only to your heart or is it necessary to turn to the mind? How to make right choice in relationship? Let's talk about whether differences between people interfere with their love or, on the contrary, help, what is worth looking at in a partner and how not to spoil a good relationship.
The difference in approach
The first thing I would like to talk about is the approach to choosing a life partner. In fact, there are only two of them: rational and emotional. Both have their own advantages and disadvantages. Some people manage to combine these approaches, while others use only one strategy.
What is the difference between such approaches?
Emotional choice of a partner is based only on your feelings. Like it or not. What you feel next to a person, what thoughts overwhelm you. Most often, these are spontaneous, strong emotions that push you towards rapprochement.
The advantage of this approach is that there is room for passion, love frenzy, feats for the sake of a lady of the heart, and so on. But there is also a downside to the coin. Under the influence of emotions, a person does not always see the truth. He is overwhelmed by love and his eyes are blind.
The rational choice of a life partner lies in the logical rationale, critical thinking, weighing the pros and cons of such a union, and so on.
Many men, in order not to be mistaken in choosing a wife, resort to a similar approach. They critically evaluate all the qualities of a girl and decide whether she deserves to become a faithful, loving spouse. Girls also resort to a similar method. One of my clients took a long time to choose between two boyfriends. She even arranged tests for them to see if they would act the way she needed.
The advantage here is obvious - a partner is chosen thoroughly, deliberately, and slowly. But often there is no room for crazy feelings and emotions.
Both approaches work great. But in everything you need to be able to find the golden mean. Feelings and emotions are very important in a relationship; you shouldn't give them up so easily. But you don't need to turn off your mind either.
Which approach to use - choose for yourself, the main thing is that it works for you, not against you.
One friend of mine tried for so long to logically come to a decision that all her gentlemen fled. And an overly emotional guy constantly rushes from one embrace to another, and cannot find that one, one and only one.
Similarities and differences
Very often I am asked the question: will we be happy, because we are so different? There is no answer to this question. For some, differences help in relationships, while for others they only hinder and cause constant quarrels.
Differences can be completely different areas life: hobbies, worldview, religion, nationality and so on.
One of my clients only meets with foreigners, she does not allow Russian men to approach her at all, she is not interested in them, they do not inspire and excite her, so to speak. But foreigners attract her attention no matter what.
You can have opposite hobbies with a girl, but this will only bring you closer. She talks about her hobby, you share your knowledge with her, and this fuels your interest in each other. Remember, it all depends on the situation.
What you should pay attention to
I offer you some points that will help you decide whether this person is the right person or not.
Men, undoubtedly, should pay attention to the girl's housekeeping. After all, you want a wife who can put things in order at home and become the real queen of your home comfort. Remember that even if she does not know how to cook, does not know how to sew on a button, there is nothing to worry about. The main thing is her desire to learn.
Another point that can help men is talking with girlfriends. Watch your young lady interact with other girls. Maybe all their conversations boil down only to the discussion of parties, parties, cool cars and louboutins? Think about whether such a lady was right for you.
I recommend that girls pay attention to the communication of their chosen one with their family. The way a man interacts with his mom can tell you a lot. It is not necessary to draw conclusions only on this one point. Situations are different, do not make serious decisions without understanding it completely.
My client's husband hasn't been in touch with his mother for a long time. They are very tense and complicated relationship... He calls her exclusively by her first name and patronymic and does not show due filial attention. But on the other hand, he worships his wife and carries in his arms.
Another girl should pay attention to the man's decisiveness. Now he may not earn millions, not have a car or a separate home, but he has aspirations and plans. And this is very important.
And, of course, pay attention to your sense of humor. It helps in so many life situations... A person who can laugh at himself will find it much easier to relate to problems at his mistake.
I highly recommend that you avoid your partner. For loyalty, for commercialism, for selfishness, for anything. Such a check can only ruin your relationship and not lead to anything good. At the same time, carefully observe the person in natural circumstances and talk heart to heart more often.
Take note
Do not argue with the faithful in public. Even if you hear that your partner is talking outright nonsense, you should not publicly tell him about it. Step aside or talk about it at home. There is no need to sort things out in public.
Don't talk badly about your loved one. Most often, when we communicate with friends or relatives, we talk about unpleasant moments in a relationship. Stop doing it. Talk about the good and happy events... Don't create a negative image.
Do not compare. Never, under any circumstances, compare your loved one with someone else. Each of us is unique. We can act like someone else, but we cannot be the same.
Personal space. Don't forget about freedom. I'm not talking about total permissiveness, but your partner should have time for himself.
Don't try to change the person. Many people try to solve the problem by diligently changing the person. Only this is not a solution. And the problem will not disappear from this. And, most likely, you will not be able to change a person. Instead, look for a way out of this situation together, talk, try different approaches, do not be afraid to make mistakes.
Building relationships is not easy, but very exciting. Remember, there is no right choice. There is your decision and what you will do next. It depends only on you whether this relationship will work or not. Partners should trust each other, appreciate and.
I invite the girls to pay attention to the article "". I am sure you will find many interesting and useful information for yourself.
What do you pay attention to when choosing a partner? What is the main thing for you in a person?
Love each other!
Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - do this or that, agree or refuse.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponement of decision-making.
So how accept correct solution and learn to make the right choice?
Here are 10 ways.
1 - Just make the decision you like.
According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 managers large companies turn out to be wrong. 40% of companies 20 years ago included in the list of 500 best companies the world no longer exists.
Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.
So relax, make a decision and take action.
You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.
You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.
Even if you're wrong, you have a second, a third, and as many attempts as you like. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better understand how to make the right choice.
2 - Determine the price of your decision.
What happens if you do this or that and the choice is wrong? Write down the possible consequences and make a decision based on this. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.
And therefore...
3 - Define best result - which solution will move you as far forward as possible? In life, those who strive for more win. And those who are afraid to take risks are content ordinary life... Think it might be worth the risk sometimes. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always come back to a different solution. So go for it. Success loves the brave.
4 - Ask your subconscious mind - most people try to make decisions based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.
Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution to choose?
And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what is worth doing.
All our experience is embedded in our subconscious. And we get access to it only in a dream. Plus, the subconscious mind can connect to a single information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev opened his table in a dream.
So ask your subconscious a question and go to bed. You will learn more about this technique from this video.
5 - do something- to accept the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theory. The information you need will be given only by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.
When in doubt or choosing from several options - just do something in the direction of each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.
6 - Ask for more successful person - Such a person can help you in just 5 minutes. He knows and can do more than you. Look successful people in their surroundings. Sign up for the training. Ask your question on the thematic forum or group. The only thing is not to ask everyone. Listen only to those who really solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then
7 - Imagine yourself as a super hero- Put yourself in the shoes of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about which solution he would choose.
Often, internal fears and doubts interfere with making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, it all disappears and the decision becomes much easier.
8 - Expand the number of options - People often choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more options. Gather information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most balanced decision.
9 - Let the brain sort everything out on the shelves - modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in the mode of lack of time.
But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking a lot, then a lot becomes clear and the decision is chosen by itself.
There is a good expression morning is wiser than evening. So just disconnect yourself from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.
10 - Write down all the pros and cons and compare
Choose 2-3 options and write each one on a separate sheet. And make a list of the pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more beneficial for you.
That's all.
But remember - a decision is not a decision until you act on it.
To make it easier for you to act, here are 50 step-by-step instructions.
In our life, situations often happen when we find ourselves in the grip of a choice and do not know how to make the right choice in life, how to make the right decision. Another variant of the problem is when the choice is not unambiguous, and we are forced to "torment" the question: how to make the right choice.
What is the difference? In the first case, the unknown of both options paralyzes, in the second, fear. Fear of being wrong and making the wrong decision ...
If we approach this issue psychologically, then both classes of situations are solved with the help of a detailed study of all information about the elections. And their reactions regarding this information.
How to make a choice and make the right decision (analytically)
An analytical example, step by step:
- You write down about the choices, and with arrows all their consequences.
- After that, switch, then sit down in calm state and begin to mentally live each version of the written consequences, noting for yourself all the discomfort that arises. And in writing, forming a conditional scale from 1 to 10 next to each.
- Then see the approximate total "score" next to each option that turned out.
- Realize and analyze what you can really influence for the better.
- Highlighting steps and goals. And choosing the right solution.
Making the Right Decision in Life (Emotional)
Another option is emotional, how to do: with every choice in life, you live the whole day. From morning to evening. It's like you've already chosen that. And mark your emotions, thoughts and states from this. Write them down throughout the day.
After living all the options, you analyze (calculate in writing) the general emotional scale and realize where more of which emotions were manifested and their intensity.
How to make the right choice (karmically and energetically)
Third option: how to make a choice in life taking into account karmic tendencies, the yogic-energetic way
First, from the yogic point of view, all our actions and choices are the consequences of our other actions and situations. The so-called karma. Therefore, both choices are essentially some kind of karmic consequences. Secondly, the point is not only that make the right choice, but also in that, to deal with their condition, indecision, fear, which create this "crossroads".
The main task is to realize the causal state or scenario, the so-called "karmic root" of the situation, and then make a choice.
Understand the possibilities and pitfalls of choice live in Kiev you can during .
An alternative way is remotely: I can help you to clarify the situation with the help of a special model synthesized from Indian Siddha Yoga and NLP modeling:
Remote Service: "Karmic Cause and Consequences of Choice."
What is used: traditions of India, NLP models, modeling of the lines of the future.
What shows: 1. subtle "causal" roots of the situation, 2. karmic options for the development of the situation from two choices, or when there is option A: do something or B: do not.
For example:
Question: to get divorced or not to divorce in the near future. A.'s choice is to "get divorced", everything is clear here. And B.'s choice is “not to get divorced”, it includes all the other options: find someone, wait it out, switch, etc. In them, if desired, a separate analysis is already needed.
As a result, what will it lead to main question of choice, v this case divorce now or not now, become absolutely clear. Similarly, what will happen if you start doing something else.
Additionally, the reasons are "visible" (" karmic root ") in general of the whole situation in the karma of a person, the answer to the question: why is it all to me or « how I created it for myself in life, why should I do it ”.
How is the remote diagnosis of choice:
- You send your request to the e-mail indicated below. You receive an answer, instructions and details (methods) of payment.
- You pay for the service and send the sources of information indicated by me.
- I am conducting a reading of energy and karmic field. I am sending you a transcript of the reasons for the choice and the consequences that you can choose. The volume is approximately 1.5-2 pages.
- You can go to the closed section (or social networks) and ask clarifying questions. Or do it by e-mail.
Who does it (qualifications, experience):
Certified trainer of special programs, certified teacher of Himalayan Siddha Yoga. He independently traveled to the most "non-tourist" places in India and studied personally with the founder of NLP - Richard Bandler. And also from many others, the best in their field, specialists in psychotechnics and spiritual practices.
Price:$ 50 at the current rate, (full analysis of the choice: 3-5 pages of Word.doc format and additional explanations if necessary)
For a preliminary consultation or request and receipt of payment options, send a letter to
For example, buying one thing or the other with limited funds, or doing one thing or the other with limited time. Many things we cannot choose at all, the choice is made for us. And, sometimes, not the best.
So how do you make the right choice?
1. Sometimes you can just ask yourself - what would I like to do at the moment? Is there any way to avoid choosing between two things, both of which we don't like?
2. You can try to imagine how a particular choice will affect your future destiny. Is it moving you further and further from what you dream of? From what is most important to you in life? Maybe you shouldn't waste time on trifles? Imagine walking through the forest and picking mushrooms along the way. It is important not to forget about where you are going, not to get carried away.
3. Boredom is an indicator that you do not have the power to choose, that the choice is made for you. You need to analyze the situation, and not wait for the boredom to go away. Because then it will be too late to change something. Time has passed.
4. Look from the point of today's choice for your whole life - how will it change with every possible choice?
5. If something needs to be done - do it without delay, until the little things have taken you to the side, when it will be much more difficult to do something important.
It seems if we had more time, we would do much the best choice in many situations in the past. But is it? Did we really run out of time, or even if we had time, we still could not make the right choice? We must always remember that in the past there were many things that we do not remember. And there may have been circumstances that really would have prevented us from making a different choice. But then we did not seriously think about such situations, did not prepare for them. If you plan your life, keep in mind that we still have many moments of choice, then you may have to regret less later.
Feelings coming after correct choice:
1. Even if a lot of effort has been spent, strength returns over time, and you feel calm and live with a "sense of accomplishment."
2. You know that your choice will serve you in the future, because it turned your life line in the right direction.
Feelings coming after wrong choice:
1. Feeling as if you want to look back, to return to the right path.
2. Over time, the anxiety that we have gone astray builds up.
What to do, how to correct the wrong choice in the past? Don't go back. And it’s impossible. Because you are already a different person. You need to choose the path on the right road now, from where you are, even if you have deviated from your road very far.
But now you know what you are looking for, and you will not get lost on the way, which means that you will walk confidently and quickly, and no one will make a choice for you. You can always get out on the right path.
