Sometimes we get stumped. Or at the crossroads. Your destiny depends on where you go.
You cannot know what will make you happy, even after five years. But you know what makes you happy now. Therefore, you do not know where to go next, but we will tell you: follow your dream, no matter how far it is. Here are some reasons:
1 you can't see the future
Life is full of interesting twists and turns, but if we are constantly chasing the things we enjoy doing, be it a job or a hobby, it will make the journey more interesting and fun. Maybe now you love making shelves for your home. Maybe you can sell them. In five years, you can become a successful designer, designer or furniture manufacturer. You have experience in creating designer furniture, which can help you with other projects in the future.
2) be calm about discomfort
Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you would like it to. Sometimes you don't have enough money to do everything that you have planned. If you have something that you really want to do, then you must be ready to live in uncomfortable conditions. You may have to give up many habits or change your place of residence, but it is worth it to fulfill your dream.
3 overcome distractions
Stop procrastinating. You are not getting younger. Sorry, but it's true. If you don’t find the time to fulfill your dream, then you will be at the end of your life with nothing. Take these first steps. Log out of your Facebook or VKontakte and start working. You won't get anywhere just thinking about how cool you could be.
4 open the door
Opportunity may be knocking, but if you don't open the door, how can you take advantage of this opportunity? You must seize opportunities when they are presented to you. Sometimes at the wrong time, but it doesn't matter. Opportunities arise by chance. Open the door or the opportunity may go away and knock on someone else's door.
The most important thing in fulfilling your dream is action. You have to make decisions and try - even if at first something doesn't work out. At the end of your life, you will not regret what you have done. You will regret that you did not have the courage and willpower to do what now seems necessary to you.
People often find themselves in desperate situations. The truth is that getting into them is very easy, but getting out is real work on your understanding of life and the problem that happened. But all the same, you can find a way out, only that it will be so painful for us, it depends only on us and no one else. What to do when you don't know what to do? The very first thing is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, to assess the situation sensibly, to deal with pessimism and fear. You need to deal with your fear, which prevents you from breathing deeply. We must accustom ourselves to look positively at the current situation and the whole world that surrounds us.
Accept the choice
It is very difficult to accept a choice, and it does not matter what area of life it will touch. And when between two roads, we think where to go, we are held back by the fear of the wrong choice, and we remain in place suffering. Therefore, you always need to go forward, being responsible for your every step, as an adult, independent person does. You need to control yourself, learn to weigh the positive and negative consequences, accept that you too can be wrong.
First step
There is no need to be afraid that you will be wrong. Try not to ask yourself the question: I just don't know what to do in this situation, what to do? There is no such person who does not make mistakes, even the smartest and wisest person makes mistakes. You need to be grateful that you have your own "chest with experience" that you acquire, since this is the most important thing in your life and it is this experience that will allow you to become stronger and more firmly endure other life's hardships.
So, take control of life in your own hands and in no case let fear command your actions! Also, do not be afraid of changes in life, only in a swamp everything flows quietly and calmly, and in a mountain river the water is always boiling. So, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone! It is always worth repeating to yourself, both aloud and to yourself, that change is only good and any change will lead you to a new and better result. By doing such a mini training on yourself, you will begin to understand that your desperate situation is just a situation from which there is more than one way out.
Change attitudes towards the problem
You are not the only person on Earth who has been in difficult situations. There are many famous and famous people who have experienced the hardships of life and more serious. And how many unknown people survived? We think a lot! You can easily find several stories like this on the Internet and read how people got out of them. We repeat again, perhaps you just do not want to get out of the usual state of your life, but this is what you need. This very often happens when people maintain an outdated relationship, or work at work that only brings a negative impression, because there you are not respected and appreciated. Why is this happening? The fact is that the reason for our despair is low self-esteem. That is why it is important to understand your problem and get out of it, no matter how hard it is for us.
Work on self-esteem
When you tell yourself: what to do, I don't even know, it means that your self-esteem is greatly underestimated. So start working on it. If you do not do this, then whatever you do, you will have a high probability that you will return to your former deplorable place. You need to love yourself and not be a “saint,” that is, allow everyone to mock you or turn the other cheek for a slap in the face. And you do not need to be lazy, because often it is laziness that creates a dead end problem. Telling everyone around your "fables" and excuses, you yourself begin to believe in them! So, think carefully about what you are saying, perhaps you yourself "told" yourself a problem, and just be lazy to solve it.
Laziness is your enemy
Fight laziness as if it were your worst enemy! Increase your motivation, not just say words down the wind. You can write down possible solutions to your situation on paper. Write down even the most fantastic ones, such as “fly to the moon” or “Teleport someone to Africa”. Write everything, and read through the time, you will see that of all your notes, a few are worthy of applause!
Pity away
Who hasn't enjoyed the pleasure of self-pity? "Like, I'm so unhappy, pat me on the head, tell me that everything will be fine ..." And how it will be good, no one at that moment asks ... You, on the contrary, set goals for yourself, forget about the people that hurt you and bring you only negativity in your life, even if you depend on them materially, think about how to solve this addiction. Do not allow people to feel sorry for you, do not allow to admit that you have no way out, that “fate of fate” is to blame for everything, this is all untrue! Look at the elite of the country, many of them have "got out" in life due to their strong qualities. Imagine also James Bond for a moment. Think, would he feel sorry for himself in such a situation, would he sit with folded hands? The obvious answer is that of course not!
We hope that you have understood your problem a little and realized that for the most part, our problems are far-fetched and are purely psychological in nature. Therefore, if you say to yourself: I just don’t know what to do, then you need to stop and think about everything that is happening and do nothing in the process of thinking, and then go ahead and arrange your life!
It is only in Hollywood blockbusters that superheroes save long-suffering humanity from evil forces without batting an eye. And in life my own "movie": I can very decently "blunt" when I am rude in a minibus or lost in a strange city.
And what can we say about more serious situations - the loss of a job, parting with a loved one, betrayal of a friend and other life "chernukha"?
So what to do when you don't know what to do? After all, with a phrase from the "Diamond Hand" "Chef, everything is gone! Everything is lost!" you can't help grief.
Calmly! Psychologists have developed a step-by-step plan for getting out of difficult life situations.
When you don't know what to do: from hysteria to complete adequacy
Step # 1. Turn off hysteria.
And that means we stop pulling our hair out and serving sets (in the end, they will still be useful to us). Instead, we tumble down on the sofa with a cup of mint tea and try to catch our "zen". A great night's sleep is ideal.
Step # 2. "We tear our claws" into nature.
Nothing makes thoughts as transparent as spring water, like gatherings somewhere on the banks of the river.
And wrinkles in the corners of the eyes are best smoothed out by a week of felting by the sea in warm regions - I have tested it myself.
Hmm, if with time and money it’s really “sadness”, then go at least a couple of hours to the park - you look and the insight will descend on what to do when you don’t know what to do with yourself, with your life and not even with an orchid on the windowsill, which stubbornly does not want to bloom.
Step # 3. "Write, write, the paper does not blush."
Having admired nature enough, come back home, take a piece of paper and write in as much detail as possible about a situation in which you do not know what to do.
Do not worry about the literary style - you are not writing memoirs, but throwing trash out of your head.
Step # 4. Analyze it.
So, now it's time to turn on your "thinking" to its fullest, that is, to analyze how you managed to drive yourself into a corner or allowed someone to do it to you. Well, and, accordingly, remember this alignment so that this does not happen again.
For example, you wu death had a fight with your mother because she doesn't like your boyfriend. It would seem that this is definitely a bad event.
But, if you seriously think about what to do, when you do not know what to do in such a situation, then you will understand:
- Hooray! Finally, you have outgrown your inner "good girl" and are ready to build your life on your own, without looking back at your parents;
- now you do not need to hide your faithful from the watchful eyes of your mother, which means that breathing has become much freer;
- from now on, you know exactly how to act when your mother is unhappy with your personal life - to bend your line. And this is not fatal!
- the next time you will more easily bear parental disapproval, since you already have experience;
- you showed your loved one how dear he is to you by going against your parental will. And it’s worth a lot, especially when you don’t really know what to do.
With such a "makar", in fact, you can make out any life situation, so go for it!
Step # 5. Brainstorm.
Oh, this is the most interesting activity when you don't know where to go, where to go.
Imagine that Kolya's best friend came to you with the same problem as yours and said: "If you want it or not, but help out, come up with 101 ways to get out of a lousy situation."
Here it is important not to restrain yourself, but to write everything, even the most absurd, at first glance, thoughts.
Let's say you lost your job, and since you live in a tiny town, it’s hard to find a job here. You can start with the quite logical "Call everyone I know - suddenly someone heard about free vacancies" to the fantastic "I'll write to the Queen of England - I read on the Internet that she fired the maid."
And the decision of what to do when you don't know how to do the right thing will be somewhere in between.
How to get out of depression on your own?
Step 6. "I have a plan, it is very daring ..."
Of all these 101 methods (well, ok, you can do 50), choose the ones that will really help when you don't know what to do. Make all these insights of yours in the form of a clear plan (for a day, week, month, year - depending on the complexity of the situation and your determination) - and go ahead and with a song!
It turned out to "solve" the problem - super, we are happy for you! No? Hmm, go back to step # 1 and start over.
Step 7. Great things await us.
And now, rolling up our sleeves and sighing for the last time about our evil fate, we begin to carry out our ingenious anti-crisis plan.
And if you do not know what to do when faced with a difficult choice, experts recommend using several methods.
How to choose and not be mistaken?
Method number 1. Heads or tails? That is the question when you don’t know what to choose.
No, we do not suggest using a coin to decide where you go on vacation - to Brazil, "where there are many wild monkeys" or good old Egypt.
But when you cannot choose between two options, esotericists recommend tossing a coin and listening carefully to your feelings: if, for example, “tails”, meaning Brazil, fell out, and your inner voice yells: “What are you, you fool, are you thinking? What is Brazil? What jungle? I want to lie quietly and peacefully on an Egyptian beach! ”, Then you should not pretend to be Amerigo Vespucci.
In a word, we throw and listen to our intuition, open the chakras, set up the antennas.
Method number 2. Lists, little lists and scribbles.
This method is perfect for those who firmly believe in analytics and rational, emotionless choice: just take a blank piece of paper and write down the pros and cons of your potential choice.
Let's say you decide whether you need to leave your native village of Zyuzulkino and move to a metropolis.
And since it's time to figure out what to do in this situation when you don't know what to do:
- remember that in a big city big earnings, interesting acquaintances and leisure time are a little more interesting than eating fried sunflower seeds at the village club;
- however, you have to be prepared for fierce competition for good jobs, a rented apartment, and that blue-eyed macho you spotted at the gym.
Method number 3. Look not for a woman, but for a successful person when you don't know what to do.
Well, here everything is clear as daylight: when you need to cook just the same ingenious borscht - consult a chef friend, if you need to decide what to do with your completely unbelted child - go to your beloved old teacher.
Method number 4. The truth is not in fault, but in a dream, when you do not know what to do.
Need to decide what to do when you don't know what to do? Then go over in your head all the options for solving a difficult question and go to bed. And let your dream not be Palma de Mallorca, but a brilliant business plan or a completely innovative method of teaching English.
What to do if life is a complete mess and you don't know what to do next?
Method number 5. What is Superman? I myself am very much even nothing!
No, we are not proposing to take over the universe with an atomic bomb. But to imagine how a person who is an authority for you acted in your difficult situation is a very effective way to decide what to do when it is not clear what to do.
If you are not tempted by the prospect of imagining yourself as the President of the United States or, at worst, Spider-Man, psychologists with a difficult life choice recommend asking yourself a few questions:
7 "magic" questions
Now, knowing about all these techniques for making the right decision, when it is not entirely clear what to do, when you do not know what to do, you will be calm like a boa constrictor. Hmm, even in the "hard" case when you have to choose between shades of lipsticks "Wild purple" and "Fiery red".
“Today you only want one thing - to die, but tomorrow you wake up and realize that you just had to go down a few steps, feel the switch on the wall and see life in a completely different light ...” Anna Gavalda
Sometimes it happens that things get bad. Is it an age crisis, depression or an understanding of the hopelessness of life? Together. What are you doing wrong? How to find your way and get out of the absorbing abyss?
What if stuck at one point?
1. You surrounded yourself with the wrong people. Time to change friends!
Your environment is completely "stranger" people, even if you have known them for a long time. You do not have a commonality of interests, goals, desires. These people do not serve as a support, but as an anchor on the leg. Because of them, you are stuck at one point and slowly go to the bottom. They pull back, criticize, take time and energy. They make you a failure, just like themselves. What to do in this case?
Find someone who will inspire, think similar and motivate. With whom you can grow up together. Who's better. Who can you look up to. Find new acquaintances, friends and acquaintances. Surround yourself with strong people. Who do you want to be like.
2. You got stuck and lost your grip. It's time to wake up and stop being shit!
Crisis, fatigue and depression? What if you don't know what to do? Often times, the cause of unhappiness lies in the fact that you are stuck and have lost your grip. From work, run home. There are TV shows, the Internet, social networks, a TV and a sofa. On weekends, sleep until dinner, get-togethers with friends, alcohol, entertainment and laziness. You understand that you are not doing anything right and right. For this reason, you are unhappy and go into the swamp of depression.
It's time for you to start moving as little as possible. Introduce dynamics into your life. Do at least something, and not go with the flow like weak-willed shit. Start learning a foreign language, taking courses, signing up for a gym, and self-education. Get yourself up and running.
3. You are not doing what you want. Time to find goals!
Many people work for a long time on goals that are far from their real desires. They work at a job they hate. They do things that don't inspire. They are mired in the routine and meaninglessness of life.
You are not doing what you want. You spent your time and your potential not at all what was needed. What to do if you made a mistake in choosing the path? Set a new goal. A new real goal. Which you really want to achieve.
Goals don't have to be whimsical or stupid. Now write down on a sheet of paper what you want to achieve the most. Make a detailed plan and tie it in time.
4. You are a fatalist. It's time to try your hand!
It's easy to complain about circumstances, government, crisis, parents, ill-wishers, and other factors. Stop disclaiming responsibility and nodding towards fate. It's time to take all responsibility into your own hands.
We are unhappy when we allow ourselves to waste our resources: time, strength, energy and potential. Make a plan to achieve your goal. Get out of the circle and try new things. Test yourself for strength. Throw yourself into battle. Take the risk. You are unhappy for the reason that your "motor" does not growl and does not work at full strength.
What if you don't know what to do? Find like-minded people, start doing at least something, find goals and rush into battle.
Are you completely confused?
There is darkness in your head, fog around, thoughts are harder to catch than a perch with your bare hands?
And this state, unfortunately, is not a consequence of a pleasant and fun holiday. Or rather a long absence?
And you don't like where you are at all? No, I'm not talking about walls (although they may annoy you too). I'm talking about a life situation. You dreamed not about that at all and not here aspired?
Then you've come to the right place. Your time has come make a decision and change life... How?
Maybe enough questions, let's move on to the answers.
What to do when you don't know what to do?
Step one - take it easy
Put your hands down, stop tantrums, stop pulling your hair out and faint from uncertainty. Allow yourself to relax: take a bath, have a cup of coffee (tea, compote). It is better not to get carried away with cognac. If possible, be sure to sleep well.
Step two - forward to nature
How often do people in cities, especially large ones, close in their birdhouses. And if you are reading these lines,then you probably periodically dive into social networks, personal diaries, network games and othersdelights of the Internet, from which it is not so easy to break out, even for a person with stable psyche.
So, forward to nature! It is desirable for a week. But if circumstances do not allow - for the whole day. If it is really bad - for 2-3 hours to the park with a dog, with a bicycle, rollers, c children or simply, alone with yourself, contemplating the harmony of nature and enjoying the beauty of the current season.
After that, the anxiety will begin to dissipate, melt away. And useful thoughts descend from Olympus. If this did not happen, then
Step three - release
Take a piece of paper and write down everything that you don't like in your life. Describe in detail the situation in which you drove yourself, or someone drove you. Describe “someone” well, just in case (he won't know about it). Don't spare paper.
Now, attention is an important point:
Make a decision that it really doesn't suit you. Then you can, without much regret, part once and for all with your unloved work, with the emotions of fear, pity, and anger.
and yourself - first of all. will free you and give you extra energy.
If you feel sorry for something, you will have to live as you did, until it squeezes again. 😉
Step four - breaking the connection
The second important point:
Analyze what led you to this situation and what conclusions you can draw from this. What did life want to tell you when it put such a pig on it? If you do not do this, you will very quickly be left at the bottom of the trough again. Then write down all the conclusions on a separate sheet, or better in a notepad.
Step five - brainstorming
Imagine that a neighbor came to you and told about his troubles (troubles, oddly enough, are exactly yours).
give him 101 advice on getting out of this situation. Write whatever comes to mind: from a janitor, before bowing to the President of America. The wider, farther, deeper, higher, and freer you think, the more realistic and sensible options will begin to emerge.
Have you written? Can have a smokedrink tea. It's not a bad idea to make another trip to nature.
