Psychological pressure on a child from a teacher

Asks: Mira

Gender: Male

Age: 8

Hello, my child has entered the second grade and from the first week he has been getting bad marks for both knowledge and behavior. Moreover, grades for knowledge are sometimes underestimated. For example, out of 4 tasks, the child completed 3 (75%) quite accurately and correctly. For this he was given only a 3.
He is a hyperactive child and cannot sit still. But the problem also lies in the educational methods used by his teacher. So the child most often sits at the last desk next to a boy with whom he has a pronounced conflict. In response to our requests to move our son, the teacher replies that he constantly changes students’ places. Also, when a child was sitting at the first desk, in front of the teacher’s eyes, another student punched him in the back (because my son was in the way) and she said in front of all the children: “That’s right, that’s right!” After this, my son was seated alone at the last desk with the words: “You will always sit in a shameful place!” The following words were also heard: “You will always get deuces!”
Answer how correct are the teacher’s actions? Should I talk about this with the teacher or head teacher? How similar are the actions of the teacher? primary classes harmful to my child's psyche?

Manic-depressive symptom, depression, isolation, social phobia, telephone phobia, psychological pressure It all started (suspicion of manic-depressive syndrome) a long time ago - 4.5 months ago. I started to notice myself characteristic symptoms(later I read a lot of literature on the topic, after reading it, I realized that this is exactly what was happening). I started to seriously pay attention to this only 2 months ago: I started having problems sleeping (I have to persuade myself, I constantly put off going to bed), and frequent falls into depression ( anxiety states, constant stress, low self-esteem, self-flagellation, apathy, loss of appetite, fatigue, decreased performance, absent-minded concentration,) can be replaced by a manic syndrome (temporarily high spirits, activity, optimistic attitude, many new ideas and projects, rapid speech, need for communication (usually I have little I need it). My memory has deteriorated: I forget many things in less than a minute. All this against the backdrop of acute social phobia and an unstable climate in the family. I don’t find support, mostly I receive reproaches, although I am working on myself, striving to do better. Recently I started noticing uncontrollable bouts of crying (the need to cry for literally a few seconds) - it’s very scary, since I’ve been experiencing this need constantly for the last 2 weeks. difficult relationships with my mother: she has frequent attacks of irritation and aggression, since childhood I have been very afraid of her, and even now nothing has changed - I still cannot establish contact with her, I feel psychological pressure from her, and in periods when we We communicate with her, I am certainly afraid that very soon this will again be replaced by her irritated behavior, and this could happen absolutely suddenly. My father tries to abstract himself from all this and every time my mother and I have a conflict, he remains indifferent, even when I need help. Is there any plan of action possible? Or could my condition be related to the microclimate in the family? At least some advice, since I have no one to turn to. Thank you.

3 answers

Don't forget to rate the doctors' answers, help us improve them by asking additional questions on the subject of this question.
Also, don’t forget to thank your doctors.

The child must know and understand the requirements of teachers; the requirements must be stable and fair. Then there will be fewer behavior problems. Injustice in assessments develops low self-esteem and inadequate self-perception of the child. It is difficult to evaluate the actions of a teacher without knowing all the nuances of the situation. If everything is as you say, then it’s probably worth talking with the teacher again, finding out her requirements and TOGETHER developing an approach to the child. It won't help - there is a head teacher and a director. But it’s better to decide everything with the teacher herself.

Ekaterina Sergeevna 2016-10-11 06:14

Having changed our place of residence last year, we moved to a new school, but to my regret, an incident occurred during the transfer that was resolved at the level of authorities local government. The director refused to accept my child into a certain class and it didn’t even bother her that we came to school with registration and there were places in the class (19 students). The child was accepted by the teacher whom we had visited before the move as an additional teacher. The child has a diagnosis of SRD (sensory alalia, which we tirelessly fight with the help of professionals: a speech therapist, a speech pathologist, and since we were previously diagnosed with sensorimotor alalia, we go to additional classes, in our case, repetition is the way to ensure that the child “ will grasp" the material) When entering grade 1, we were recommended to grade 7. Which we went to, but after 10 days the teacher, after talking with the head teacher, came to the conclusion that the child needed a regular first grade according to the “School of Russia” program, i.e., when we transferred to the current school, we were already studying in a regular first grade.
As soon as we switched and refused the services of an additional teacher (I think that this is at least unprofessional, and according to the Federal Law, if the teacher sees that the child is not doing well or is often ill, he must take the child to additional classes at school) we started having problems, the child became gloomy, the teacher began to receive complaints that he was biting, fighting, distracted and refusing to study in class. I didn't pay attention, I wrote everything off new class, a new situation, that the child’s adaptation - this is how 1st grade ended.
I would like to find out if my child is diagnosed with asthma ( bronchial asthma, and it manifested itself in acute respiratory infections and acute respiratory viral infections, all of them occurred with complications in respiratory system) and the teacher was aware.
We moved to 2nd grade, studied for 2 weeks and ended up on sick leave with asthma. Then I haven't given it up yet of great importance She wrote off that it was autumn and everyone was sick, the child categorically refused to study in class (according to the teacher). After returning from sick leave, our teacher fell ill and we ended up with a substitute teacher. And then a miracle happened, the child brought 5 on his own on the 1st day, said that he was praised, he began to do his homework with pleasure, because instead of “cm” he was given good grades of 4 and 5. The child’s joy did not last long. And then I started to notice unpleasant things. I was always taught to listen to teachers that they only want the best for children. I forgot to clarify that at the end of 1st grade, our teacher insisted on a remedial class so that we could move on.
So the main teacher came out, the first week there was nothing, the child even wrote class papers, in the second week they gave out notebooks after checking and when I saw that she crossed out the grades of the teacher who replaced her, I was at a loss - at least it is not ethical to do this. A couple of days later, while picking up my son from school, I witnessed her screaming (she followed him into the hall and demanded a diary, explaining that he did not show her whether he had written down his homework), the child thrust a backpack at me and hid behind me, teacher Probably arriving at the end of the 5th lesson in “touched” feelings, she didn’t even pay attention to her tone, took her son by the hand and led him to class so that he could write down the assignment for home.
The worst thing happened a couple of days later, unfortunately, life is such that I am raising my son alone, he studies from the 1st shift and spends the second part of the day doing his children’s things (playing, watching TV, sleeping, studying homework, etc.). Returning from work, I found him in a hysterical state, and it worsened when I asked how things were at school. The child began to choke, an hour later he took medication, hugged, and went to additional classes. The child told me that he was upset because something was not written down. homework, even later he told me that he sat under his desk for 2 lessons and a break. I pulled everything out of him over the course of 5 hours, little by little. Because every time he was overwhelmed by emotions and he began to roar and choke (For me, he had such a state for the first time). The essence of the story was this: the teacher screamed and said: “... if I don’t do what she says, she will tell my mother and you will punish me.” I crawled under the table because I was scared.
The teacher did not inform me about the incident, not me, not the social worker. A teacher, not a school psychologist. When I called her on the same day, she began to say that this happened more than once (which horrified me even more), and this is the norm for my child, and began to carry on a conversation that back in the 1st grade she suggested that we move to a correctional class, or even better, to individual training (although there is no indication). Co next day The child stopped going to school, 5 days have already passed, he has become calmer, we are waiting for an appointment with a psychologist and neurologist. I wrote a complaint to local authorities. The director tried to invite me to a conversation when I brought the second copy of the complaint to the school, having met me in the corridor, she and the head teacher (whom I saw for the first time) tried to say that my child’s behavior was terrible and the teacher was not to blame (interesting methods of education, I thought, to drive a 7-year-old boy under the table in front of the whole class and continue teaching the lesson). The next day, some of the parents were opposed to me, they began to collect positive characteristics for the teacher (this means this is not the first case in her practice, I thought). Who will protect our children if not the parents? Now I’m afraid to transfer to another school. I’m afraid to leave my child with strangers or new people, so I started visiting tutors with him. We probably both need a psychologist now =)
Help me point me in the right direction, of course we will change schools, and in light of everything, I began to listen to my child more. It is very annoying that neither the school administration nor the teacher understand that sitting at the last desk, or rather under it for almost 2 hours, a child could harm himself and being sent home after such an incident without informing the legal representative of what happened. If I came home from work for 30 minutes. Later, an asthma attack could lead to dire consequences. How can we get over this terrible moment from last week and put it out of our lives?!

What laws do teachers forget about when they kick a student out of class, take away their phone, publicly read school correspondence, or give a bad grade for absence from class? Lawyer Ksenia Pechenik tells.

Very often, parents are faced with complaints from teenagers about the actions of teachers. How to keep the line between the interests of the child and the pedagogical process and not quarrel with the school administration out of the blue? IN last years The level of legal awareness of both school teachers, students and their parents has noticeably increased. Children have become more literate, and teachers are balancing on the brink educational process and the law. However, one can often hear complaints from schoolchildren about the use of non-pedagogical, and sometimes illegal, measures of education and punishment against them. So what does a teacher have the right to? Let's figure it out.

According to clause 4. Art. 55 of the Law “On Education” during execution professional responsibilities Teaching staff have the right to freedom of choice and use of teaching and educational methods. However, how to determine the boundaries of the acceptability of pedagogical methods? What is a teacher entitled to and what is not? Let's consider the most typical situations.

A teacher uses physical or mental violence against a student

It is no secret that students can be difficult, but despite this, paragraph 6 of Art. 15 of the Law “On Education” prohibits the use of violence expressed in physical or mental form.

If a teacher hits a child, slaps or slaps him in the face, he will incur disciplinary, civil or even criminal liability. It all depends on the nature of the damage caused to health. There is a known case when a teacher of one of the schools in Petrozavodsk was fired for slapping a 6th grade student on the head. The possibility of dismissing a teacher for using, including one-time, methods of education associated with physical and (or) mental violence against the student’s personality is provided for in Part 4 of Art. 56 of the Law “On Education” as an additional basis for termination employment contract at the initiative of the employer in addition to those provided for by the Labor Code.

Of course, cases of assault, especially with grave consequences for students, by teachers are extremely rare, but if this happens, it is necessary to record this fact. This could be a video recording, witness testimony, etc. If there are signs of beatings, they must be recorded at the nearest medical station and photographed, after which you can file a statement with the police or a complaint with the prosecutor's office. Depending on the severity of the harm caused to health, the unlawful actions of the teacher may be qualified under Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (beatings), Art. 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (intentional infliction of minor harm to health), Art. 112 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (intentional infliction moderate severity harm to health), art. 113 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (causing grievous or moderate harm to health in a state of passion), Art. 111 (intentional infliction of grievous bodily harm).

The criteria for determining the severity of harm to health are presented in the Rules for determining the severity of harm caused to human health, approved by Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation of August 17, 2007 No. 522. and in the Medical Criteria for determining the severity of harm caused to human health, approved by the Order of the Ministry of Health and social development RF dated April 24, 2008 No. 194n. According to the current criminal legislation, there are several gradations of harm caused.

Thus, grave harm includes:

Harm dangerous to human life;
loss of vision, speech, hearing or any organ or loss of organ functions;
abortion;
mental disorder;
drug addiction or substance abuse;
permanent facial disfigurement;
significant permanent loss of general ability to work by at least one third;
complete loss of professional ability to work;

Moderate severity of harm to health includes:

Long-term health disorder (if the victim is treated in hospital for more than 21 days);
significant persistent loss of total working capacity of less than one third.

Minor harm includes:

Short-term health disorder (if the victim is treated in hospital for up to 21 days inclusive);
minor persistent loss of general ability to work.

Thus, if, God forbid, your child suffered from the actions of a teacher, his responsibility will be determined by law enforcement agencies, based on the consequences caused to the child’s health.

A frequent case of violation of a child’s rights is the confiscation of any items (phone, tablet, jewelry, etc.) from him at school.

The question of whether a teacher has the right to confiscate a student’s phone, tablet or other property that, in his opinion, interferes with the educational process, is perhaps the most popular on the Internet.

Answer: no and no again. Even if something similar is provided for by the school Charter, such actions by a teacher can be qualified as robbery (open theft of someone else’s property). If this happens, you must first contact the school principal with a complaint, and, if this does not help, the police - with a statement about the fact of illegal seizure of property.

Can a teacher kick you out of class or not let you into class?

Does a teacher have the right to kick a student out of class? Nothing is said about such a right, but something else is clearly stated. According to Art. 43 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, everyone has the right to education. Guaranteed universal access and free pre-school, basic general and secondary education vocational education in state or municipal educational institutions and enterprises. Therefore, if a teacher kicked a student out of class or did not allow him to attend class, you can write a statement to the school principal to remove obstacles to access to the educational process. If the situation repeats itself repeatedly, and complaints to the director have not brought any results, you can file a complaint with the prosecutor’s office or court.

We must also not forget that by expelling a student from a lesson or not allowing him to attend classes, the teacher risks being held accountable, including criminal liability if an accident occurs with the student at this time, or civil liability if the student commits some kind of crime. or an offence. According to part 3. clause 3 art. 32 of the Law of the Russian Federation “On Education”, responsibility for the life and health of students, pupils and workers educational institution during the educational process is borne by the educational institution.

The teacher took the note from the student and read it in front of the whole class.

This is illegal. According to Art. 23 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, everyone has the right to privacy, personal and family secrets, protection of their honor and good name. Everyone has the right to privacy of correspondence, telephone conversations, postal, telegraph and other messages. Restriction of this right is permitted only on the basis court decision. Children are no exception. The right to privacy is guaranteed by Art. 12 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, according to which “no one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his personal or family life, arbitrary attacks on the inviolability of his home, the secrecy of his correspondence or on his honor and reputation. Every person has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.” All this is directly related to the content of student notes.

The teacher gave a bad mark for absence from class

The teacher does not have the right to do this, since in accordance with the Law “On Education”, the grading system is used only to assess the knowledge of students.

The question arises: what then should a teacher do if almost all usual methods are prohibited by law? In order to achieve the desired order and discipline in the classroom, there are many other pedagogical techniques and methods that do not involve violating the rights of students. For example, threaten a careless student with a complaint to the school principal, or by calling parents to school.

At the same time, each parent should study in detail the Charter of the educational institution. As a rule, it contains all acceptable punishments for students. However, if there are contradictions with current legislation, the school charter can be challenged in court.

Of course, “clumsy” methods of dealing with the school administration or with a specific teacher will not make a child’s life at school better. If the situation has not yet gone too far, and it is possible to resolve the issue peacefully without involving lawyers, you should consider involving a school psychologist or an independent mediator (intermediary in conflict resolution) in the negotiation process with the school administration.

When sending their child to school, parents hope that the child will like it there, make good friends and, of course, learn a lot of new things. At school, children not only study science, but also receive the first skills of coexistence in a team, learn politeness, tact and mutual respect.

The teacher helps them in this, who, with the help of educational conversations and own example teaches correct behavior. But this is ideal, and in life sometimes situations happen when the teacher becomes not an assistant and protector, but a source of threat. What to do in such a situation and how to help the baby?

For some, a teacher is a calling and a dream, others treat raising and teaching children like any other job, but there are people who got into school by accident. It is known that the competition for admission to pedagogical universities is low, and tuition fees are usually lower than in more prestigious educational institutions. Therefore, people who are not familiar with this field of activity and are not interested get into pedagogy.

Such a “teacher” simply cannot cope with the children and his own nerves, which leads to absolutely unacceptable and non-pedagogical actions. There are known cases where children were beaten with a pointer, ruler or book, put in a corner and even locked in a closet. Verbal insults and humiliation are much more common. All this can have a strong Negative influence on the baby's psyche.

Primary school children often do not complain to their parents about the teacher’s actions, because they simply do not understand that something is wrong. The student does not yet know what he should look like educational process, he simply has nothing to compare with, so he takes the teacher’s rudeness for granted.

To understand that children are being bullied at school, you need to communicate with the child and ask him about everything. If he looks depressed when talking about school or doesn't want to attend classes, this is a reason to wonder if everything is fine. You can ask the baby suggestive questions, but try not to put pressure on him.

At the same time, we must not forget that children are great dreamers and sometimes due to early age misjudge the situation. If a little student tells real horrors about school and the teacher, this is not a reason to immediately “rush into battle.” First you need to talk to the parents of other children and find out what they say at home. You can also unobtrusively ask the teacher how the child behaves at school, how he copes with the program, and whether there are any problems.

Parents have every right to attend a lesson and independently evaluate the teacher’s work. But to do this, you must first write an application addressed to the school director and coordinate the visit with the administration and teacher.

What to do if a teacher bullies a child

If your worst fears are confirmed and you find out that the teacher is really hurting your child, you should not let things take their course. It is very important to immediately stop the actions of such a “teacher” and take measures to prevent troubles in the future. Your actions will depend on what exactly happened:

If physical violence on the part of a teacher has been recorded, the school administration and law enforcement agencies must immediately report it. The Education Law prohibits any physical or psychological abuse of children. In this situation, the teacher is an offender and should be held criminally liable. It is advisable to record the fact of beatings in a medical institution. But be sure to understand the situation; perhaps the teacher’s guilt is exaggerated. He could accidentally hurt a child and sincerely repent of it.
Psychological violence is much more difficult to prove, since it does not leave physical marks on the body. If the teacher is truly inadequate, you can use a voice recorder or video camera to collect evidence. But it will be very difficult to achieve any punishment through the court. Therefore, in this situation, it is better to first talk with the teacher, explain that he has no right to raise his voice at the child or insult him. But be prepared that during the conversation it may turn out that your baby is also not an angel and provokes aggression towards himself with inappropriate behavior. In such a situation, ask the teacher to immediately report all the child’s misdeeds to you, and try to pay more attention to the child.
Teacher undergrading is more common in high school. It is very difficult to determine whether a student really deserves a low grade or whether the teacher simply does not like him. In addition, the requirements for the level of knowledge in different schools may vary. Try to figure out the situation, talk to the teacher, try to evaluate his attitude towards children and the level of requirements. If in doubt, have the student take a test to determine their level of knowledge in the subject in the presence of other teachers.

If, after talking with the child, the parents of other students and the teacher, after attending lessons and a thorough investigation, you are convinced that the teacher really used violence against your child, it is better to transfer him to another class or school. The fact is that it will most likely not be possible to change an adult who is accustomed to treating children rudely. It is necessary to report the situation to the school administration and law enforcement agencies. But proceedings in such cases can last for years, especially if the teacher has been working at the school for a long time and has certain merits, but you need to protect the child now.

Unfortunately, there are also inadequate individuals among teachers. To solve this problem, parents sometimes lack simple and understandable tools. The Fathersclub website has collected advice for parents - from lawyers and others - on how parents should behave in such situations.

The teacher of one of the Kyiv schools did not let Roman N.’s seven-year-old daughter go to the toilet. As the frightened girl told her parents, she was not the first in the class to wet herself while sitting at her desk. She hit other children on the hands with a ruler and often screamed. Dad was about to go “sort it out,” but first decided to seek advice. “This is complete...! “And what should I do?” asks Roman on his FB.

At another school, the teacher constantly beat the “units” and called the students names. There are many similar examples. Nitpicking, lowering grades, shouting, public humiliation - this is far from full list outbursts of aggression from emotionally unstable teachers.

How should parents of a child who is being humiliated act? school teacher? Where should you contact first and how to fill out applications correctly?

We addressed these questions to lawyers and teachers. First of all, they advise, you need to double-check everything - talk to other parents and students. Only if everything is really very bad and your child’s words are confirmed by the evidence of other schoolchildren, is it worth taking real steps. Lawyers of the company “S.T. Partners”, at the request of the Father’s Club, wrote a sample application addressed to the school director - samples can be found at the link.

But before filing such an application, lawyer Alexander Chernysh suggests four possible steps:

1. Collect evidence

“Schools always try to justify their teachers, so if someone else can confirm what your child says, it will be much easier to achieve justice,” explains the lawyer. You need confirmation, at least verbal from other students and parents. Another option is to install video surveillance or sound recording devices in the classroom. Such a decision can be made by the parent committee, but the difficulty is that according to Article 307, paragraph 1 of the Civil Code of Ukraine “ individual may be recorded on photo, film, television or videotape solely with his consent.”

2. Written complaint addressed to the director

A verbal complaint will not do. Only in writing - so that later you can definitely prove that you really contacted the school principal with this problem. You also need to make a photocopy of your application.

3. Written complaint to the director of the Department of Education and Science

If the director has not responded to your application and nothing has changed at the school, then write a complaint to the director of the Department of Education and Science in your region. The application is practically no different from a complaint addressed to the school director, except that in the header of the application to the department you must indicate your home address, telephone number and status (retired, mother of many children, etc.).

4. Letter to the Ministry of Education and Science of Ukraine

If the Department ignored your application, heavy artillery is needed. We are writing to the Ministry of Education and Science of Ukraine addressed to Minister Liliya Mikhailovna Grinevich. The requirements for filing such a complaint are identical to those for filing an application with the department.

Svetlana TrofimovaSvetlana Trofimchuk, partner of the law firm “S.T. Partners": "Let's start with the main thing. Teachers are prohibited from using methods of physical and mental violence against students and actions that humiliate their honor and dignity. This is directly stated in Articles 51, 56 of the Law of Ukraine “On Education”. Conflict situations between teachers and students are sometimes associated with unlawful behavior of teachers: abuse of authority, use of prohibited methods of teaching and upbringing, inability to differentiate the use of certain means of education. Most often, school principals try to resolve conflicts on the spot, without involving outsiders and senior management. If, for example, a teacher hits a student, he must bear criminal or administrative liability for this. But in most cases, when determining punishment, first of all, the teacher’s many years of previously impeccable work are taken into account. Nobody pays attention to the fact that this person is incompetent and does not meet the requirements required for this or that type of profession. As a result, the teacher receives either a disciplinary sanction in the form of a warning or is dismissed due to at will.This algorithm of actions has already become a pattern, since it suits the school director and teacher, who are exempt from additional checks and certifications by regulatory authorities. Parents must master legal basis defense or engage an appropriate legal professional to take a stand in critical situations. School inspectionOne of bright examples: a young teacher created the so-called “List of Pigs” due to the negative behavior of students in his lessons. Every week he posted a catalog of students (with their photographs, painted ballpoint pen) on entrance doors school and on his page on the social network. This teacher did not long rejoice in his artistic abilities and ingenuity. After filing a collective complaint from the parent committee to the prosecutor's office about unlawful actions, he was forced to resign of his own free will and apologize to his former students.
To eradicate violence on the part of teachers towards students, you should contact regulatory or higher authorities to defend your position and check the activities of a particular educational institution for compliance with the requirements of the current legislation of Ukraine.”

Before bringing in the big guns, just talk to your child and find out what's really going on. How often does the teacher yell? For what reasons? Is any of the teenagers to blame for this? It happens that children significantly exaggerate, and it also happens that several students in the class constantly disrupt the educational process. In addition, if the father or mother rarely discusses the child's concerns or they have little contact with the child, then parental intervention may only make the situation worse. Be 100% sure that the teacher is truly inadequate and only then start fighting.

Now let’s move on from the advice of lawyers to the opinions of the teachers themselves. It would be unfair to consider all teachers to be rude or emotionally unstable. Everyone can remember from their school days a beloved teacher who, with her wisdom, patience and pedagogical tact, was able to instill a love for her subject. Natalya Viktorovna Ilchuk, a biology teacher with 25 years of experience, suggests the following procedure for resolving a conflict with a teacher:

“First of all, talk to the teacher himself. After all, teachers work under constant stress! Low wages, noise, frequent shifts school curriculum at the Ministry, 5-7 lessons per day for children of different ages, with different needs and characters. Well, who wouldn’t be shaken here? nervous system? Parents should try to talk to the teacher calmly, listen to him and speak out themselves. We must not forget that children are excellent manipulators and dreamers,” the teacher smiles.

“If talking with the teacher turned out to be useless, then you can contact the class teacher. I'll be the head teacher. To the director. In any case, it is better to try to resolve the issue peacefully and within the school, if the teacher’s behavior does not violate too much the framework of accepted norms and the Teacher’s Code of Ethics,” advises Natalya Viktorovna. “Under no circumstances should a teacher frighten a student, shout at him or put psychological pressure on him, if only because knowledge is acquired by a child only in a comfortable environment. The main task of the teacher is to gain authority and respect from the student, to become his friend and adviser, there is no other way. It is really difficult to work with children, because you need to look for an individual approach to each of them. In addition to this, it is better for the teacher to react calmly to children’s protests, to their bad behavior and reluctance to learn the subject: in the process of schooling, children form their personality and mature. They have hormones, fears and zeal, which simply do not allow many of them to behave calmly,” explains Natalya Viktorovna.

Ignoring the teacher’s orders by children, a feeling of impunity, lack of motivation to learn, the basics of discipline, or simply inattention of parents, in an ordinary public school leads to conflict situations where the students may be to blame, and the teachers are at fault. In order to prevent this from happening, when a teacher chooses a weak-willed and simply unhappy victim, or after trying once, a drug addict begins to show aggression more and more often. We repeat, fathers: you need to delve into each case, but you need to respond to the teacher’s aggression. Every time.

Write a complaint right away or first talk to the teacher - whatever you do, remember: the main task is to protect the child. If you decide to write a complaint, be prepared to go all the way. Be persistent, but polite and extremely restrained. If you raise your voice or lose your temper, the whole effect will disappear and you will be the culprit. The Roman we talked about at first had to change his daughter’s school. And the teacher who hung humiliating lists on the school doors was forced to resign himself. Couldn't stand the pressure from my parents.

Let's not get bored! Only the most important things - subscribe to our Telegram channel

Read all the news on the topic "" on OBOZREVATEL.

For a child, studying at school is not only about gaining knowledge, but also about the experience of socialization in a group of peers and adults - teachers. Relationships between people are very multifaceted, so it is not surprising that a student may encounter negative manifestations from the teacher: pickiness or even hostility.

How to differentiate between prejudice and demandingness

Excessive demands are not always a manifestation of the teacher’s biased attitude

As a rule, parents learn about problems in the relationship between the teacher and their child from the lips of the child. And, of course, he brings his subjective assessments and emotions into the story, often drawing the line: “She (he) doesn’t love me and is nagging me.” It’s difficult for moms and dads to figure out in this situation whether this state of affairs is objective reality or the result of the student’s suspiciousness or imagination. In addition, many children perceive the teacher’s demandingness as a manifestation of a biased attitude. Therefore, it is very important for parents to get a correct picture of the existing relationship. For this:

talk to your child more often about topics related to school life, - this way it will become clear where the truth is and where the fantasies are;
pay attention to the child’s performance in the subject taught by the teacher who is making complaints about your student (if the grades have dropped sharply, then work with the child or hire a tutor, then you can draw a conclusion about the objectivity of grading);
visit the school, talk to the teachers and class teacher, but do it not “about”, but as a monitoring of progress (neither the child nor the teachers about true reasons visit to educational institution no need to know).

This way you will be able to understand what kind of relationship your student has with teachers and students. And also find out whether the teacher is really biased towards the child, or is simply demanding regarding the quality of knowledge.

How to psychologically adjust a child

Trust is the basis of a relationship with a child

Relationships between people are multifaceted, so it is not surprising that some people like them and others don’t. Interpersonal relationships between teacher and students are no exception. A teacher is a person like everyone else, so he can have likes and dislikes. Some teachers like active, inquisitive students, while others like disciplined quiet ones. Of course, a professional teacher knows how to hide his emotions, but sometimes exceptions happen. In this case, a conflict situation arises with three participants:

student;
teacher;
parents of the student.

The task of the latter is to find a way out of the situation with minimal losses for the emotional health of the emerging personality. Therefore, it is very important to properly set up the child in this particular situation:

Tell your child how much you love him more often - the child should be sure that he is accepted and loved by those closest to him;
Explain that any child, even if he is still small, is also a person, and no one has the right to insult, ridicule or humiliate him;
Analyze the conflict situation with maximum objectivity - regardless of who was wrong, explain to the offspring why such behavior is unacceptable;
Try, together with your child, to outline a strategy for behavior in case the teacher finds fault or allows insults;
Outline a plan for further joint actions (conversation with the teacher, director, moving to another class or school) to resolve the current situation.

How can you get rid of prejudice?

Parents should communicate with teachers regularly

Nagging and prejudice on the part of the teacher, as a rule, do not go away on their own, so parents need to take active measures to resolve the conflict. There are several ways:

open conversation with the teacher;
conversation with representatives of the administration (director, head teachers);
transferring a student to another class or school;
public coverage of the problem in the media.

Let's look at each of them. The simplest and most correct way out is to talk to the teacher. Having determined the reasons why the teacher disliked the child, you can find a joint way out of the problem. conflict situation. We’ll look at how to properly plan a conversation with a teacher a little later.

If the teacher does not agree to a conversation or does not consider it necessary to change his attitude towards the child, then you should contact the director or head teacher - perhaps they will have more compelling arguments convincing the teacher to reconsider his behavior.

This is interesting! Every year, about 20% of children transfer to other schools due to nagging from teachers.

When the conflict has gone on for too long and the teacher’s attitude has a negative impact on the psychological and emotional state schoolchild, it makes sense to transfer the child to another class or school. However, you should not see this method as a panacea for any difficulties - in your child’s life there will be many meetings with uncomfortable or conflicting people, so it is not recommended to create greenhouse conditions in childhood.

If a teacher not only allows himself to publicly insult, but also uses physical force against a child, and there is confirmation of this, then such flagrant violations of children’s rights should be covered in the media with the involvement of social services and law enforcement agencies.

How to build a conversation with a teacher correctly

Peaceful conflict resolution is the main goal of a conversation with a teacher

Knowing about the problem in the relationship between a student and a teacher only from a child, it is impossible to form a complete opinion about the reasons for the nagging on the part of the teacher. That's why the best way out there will be a conversation with the teacher. However, you need to prepare for the conversation and conduct it in such a way as not to aggravate the situation. So, going to talk with the teacher:

Try to make an appointment in person, not through the school administration.
Choose the right time. It is best if it is after school, but not at the end of the working day.
It is advisable that the meeting take place one-on-one, but within the walls of the school ( the best option– office, serious conversations in the corridor – taboo).
Try to make it clear to the teacher that you are not going to incriminate or accuse him of anything.
Begin the conversation by stating your desired outcome (“I would like our conversation to lead to positive changes in my relationship with my son/daughter”).
Be sure to stipulate the fact that you recognize some of your child’s shortcomings, and gently guide the conversation towards the recognition that everyone has the right to make a mistake (in case your child is really guilty of something).
Next, you should directly ask the question about the reasons for your child’s dissatisfaction. Perhaps in this way the teacher “takes revenge” for some actions towards him on the part of the student (for example, insult).
Depending on the answer received, the conversation can go in two directions: mutual understanding and recognition on the part of the teacher of his mistakes, or anger due to your attempt to convict the teacher of an unprofessional attitude towards children.
In any case, you need to end the conversation by thanking them for their time.

Depending on what results you can achieve by talking with the teacher, it will be easier to outline a plan for further action.