3. Communication with God through communication with the Holy Church Now we need to go back a little and remember how we began to clarify the feelings and dispositions that make up the pious mood of the Christian spirit. The spirit of Christian piety consists in fellowship with

II The practical sphere and the speculative sphere

II The practical sphere and the speculative sphere There are functions of the mind aimed exclusively at knowledge. They belong to the speculative sphere. This is the initial comprehension of the fundamentals, which, as soon as we have learned from sensory experience the ideas of being, cause, purpose, etc.,

§7. Conditions for effective conversation

Mutual desire to have a conversation

Let's look at several situations described by I. S. Turgenev. Let us recall the novel “Fathers and Sons”.

Evgeny Bazarov arrives at his parents' house after a three-year separation from his endlessly loving parents. Let's re-read those places in which the author shows Bazarov's attitude towards the desire of his father and mother to talk and communicate with him.

Vasily Ivanovich,<. .="">having fallen asleep on the sofa at the feet of his son, he was about to chat with him, but Bazarov immediately sent him away, saying that he wanted to sleep, but he himself did not fall asleep until the morning.

No! - he said the next day to Arkady, - I’ll leave here tomorrow. It’s boring, I want to work, but I can’t do it here. I’ll go back to your village, I left all my medications there. At least you can lock yourself in. And here my father keeps telling me: “My office is at your service - and no one will disturb you,” but he himself is not a step away from me. Yes, and it’s a shame to somehow shut yourself out from him. Well, mother too. I can hear her sighing behind the wall, but you go out to her and she has nothing to say.

The next day Bazarov really left. On the second visit the situation changes somewhat, but the result is the same.

“I came to you for six whole weeks, old man,” Bazarov told him, “I want to work, so please don’t bother me.” - 8 -

Culture and ethics of communication --_____

You’ll forget my face, that’s how I’ll bother you! - answered Vasily Ivanovich.

He kept his promise. Having placed his son as before in the study, he just did not hide from him and restrained his wife from any unnecessary expressions of tenderness. “You, my mother,” he said, “on Enyushka’s first visit, he got a little tired of him: now he needs to be smarter.” Arina Vasilyevna agreed with her husband, but gained little from this, because she saw her son only at the table and was completely afraid to talk to him. “Enyushenka!” - she would say, - and before he even had time to look back, she was fiddling with the laces of her reticule and babbling: “Nothing, nothing, I’m like that,” and then she goes to Vasily Ivanovich and says to him, propping up her cheek: “Whatever, my dear , find out: what does Enyusha want for dinner today, cabbage soup or borscht?” - “Why didn’t you ask him yourself?” - “We’ll get tired of it!”

In all scenes, as we see, the conversation fails. One of the necessary conditions is missing: a mutual desire to engage in dialogue. On his first visit, Bazarov is burdened by talking with his parents; on his second visit, the father and mother, for fear of disturbing him or causing their son’s displeasure, avoid talking with him.

Similar situations occur quite often in our lives. They are varied. For example, a person is sitting on a bench in a park or riding on a bus, trolleybus, or train. A citizen sits down next to him and starts a conversation (especially if he is tipsy). They answer him in monosyllables out of politeness, making it clear that they do not want to continue the conversation, but he intrusively barges in with questions and tells him something. In such cases, all that remains is to get up and change place or leave.

Yes, sometimes even at home there is no desire to talk even with loved ones, answer questions, listen to their stories. There are different reasons for this: malaise, fatigue, blues, the need to concentrate on something, to think about it.

In such cases, you should talk about the culture of communication. There is no need to impose yourself on the conversation. If you feel that the interlocutor is not showing interest, stop the conversation, wait until your partner has a need to communicate.

Choose a topic well

Now let's comprehend another situation described by I. S. Turgenev in the same novel.

Bazarov is visiting Odintsova. A lively conversation ensues between them.

Odintsova sat leaning against the back of the chair, and, putting her hand on her hand, listened to Bazarov. He spoke, contrary to usual, quite a lot and was clearly trying to keep his interlocutor busy, which again surprised Arkady.<..>He expected that Bazarov would talk to Odintsova, as to an intelligent woman, about his beliefs and views: she herself expressed a desire to listen to a person “who has the courage not to believe anything,” but instead Bazarov talked about medicine, about homeopathy, about botany. It turned out that Odintsova did not waste time in solitude: she read several good books and expressed herself in correct Russian. She focused her speech on music, but, noticing that Bazarov did not recognize art, she slowly returned to botany, although Arkady began to talk about the meaning of folk melodies.<..>The conversation lasted for more than three hours, leisurely, varied and lively.

What communication condition did Odintsova almost violate? How did she get out of the situation she created?

Bazarov spoke about medicine, about homeopathy, about botany, i.e., about the fact that he knew well what he was doing, what was close to him. Odintsova was also interested in the subject of the conversation. But then she started talking about music. Bazarov denied art, so he could either walk away from the conversation, remain silent, or express his harsh judgment and thereby aggravate the conversation. Odintsova didn’t want either one, so she “slowly returned to botany.”

From here we conclude: the success of communication depends on how well the topic of conversation is chosen, whether it seems relevant and interesting to the interlocutors, and to what extent the subject of discussion is known to each of the speakers.

Find a common language

Here's another situation.

Sometimes Bazarov went to the village and, teasing as usual, entered into a conversation with some peasant. “Well,” he told him, “explain to me your views on life, brother: after all, in you, they say, all the strength and future of Russia, a new era in history will begin from you, you will give us both a real language and laws.” The man either did not answer anything, or uttered words like the following: “And we can... Also, therefore, that means... what kind of aisle we have, approximately.” - “Can you explain to me what your world is? - Bazarov interrupted him, “and is that the same world that stands on three fish?” “This, father, the earth stands on three fish,” the man explained soothingly, with a patriarchal good-natured melodiousness, “and the master’s will is against ours, that is, the world knows: therefore you are our fathers. And the more strictly the master demands, the nicer it is to the peasant.”

After listening to such a speech, Bazarov once shrugged his shoulders contemptuously and turned away, and the man wandered off.

What were you talking about? - another middle-aged and gloomy-looking man asked him from a distance, from the threshold of his hut, who was present during his conversation with Bazarov. - About arrears, or what?

What about arrears, my brother! - answered the first man, and in his voice there was no longer a trace of patriarchal melodiousness, but, on the contrary, some kind of careless severity was heard, - so, he was chattering something: he wanted to scratch his tongue. It is known, master, does he really understand?

Where to understand? - answered the other man and, shaking their tagos and shoving their sashes, they both began to talk about their affairs and needs.

How can one characterize Bazarov’s conversation with a peasant? Actually, the conversation did not work out, since they spoke in different languages. Why is this happening? Here's why. The national Russian language is a complex phenomenon. Its highest form is a literary language, which is spoken by people who have received an education. Then, as a means of communication among insufficiently literate people, mainly urban residents, vernacular is used, and in rural areas, especially in villages, various dialects are used. There are also jargons. There are professional jargons, youth jargon (school, student), thieves' jargon, and prison jargon.

Culture and art of speech -

Bazarov’s speech is structured according to the norms of literary language; it contains abstract, bookish words, not all of which are understandable to the interlocutor: view, future, expound, era, history, law. Bazarov uses the word world to mean “globe, earth,” and the man interprets it in his own way. He knows only one meaning - “community, society of peasants.” Having not understood Bazarov, he does not know what to answer. His first remark is confusing, consisting almost entirely of introductory words, pronouns, and conjunctions. The answer to the second question is more meaningful, but it is built as if according to the proverb “I tell him about Thomas, and he tells me about Yerema.”

When the two men spoke, they immediately found a common language, and not only because they spoke in the village vernacular or local dialect they knew, but also because they thought alike, they were concerned about the same questions.

Similar situations in communication are described by the famous German writer of the late European Enlightenment, Adolf von Knigge, in his famous witty work “On the Treatment of People” (1788). This book is a unique set of rules of conduct and instructions in worldly wisdom, covering various areas of human daily life. It still arouses great interest among readers today.

In the introduction to the first part of the book, the author talks about the behavior of the simple-minded Provincial, who “after several years has the duty of his rank to appear at court.” He tries to talk to someone, communicate, but he fails:

He approaches another group of people who seem to be speaking with candor and liveliness. He wants to take part in these conversations, but everything he hears: objects, language, expressions, phrases - everything remains incomprehensible to him. Here, in half-French, they judge things that I never paid attention to and never even imagined that it would be possible for a noble person to deal with them. His boredom and impatience increase every minute until he finally leaves this unbearable place for him.

Culture and ethics of communication -

But let’s stop this example and imagine some, however, noble courtier in the village - in the company of simple-minded officials, provincial nobles. Domination here*4! effortless cheerfulness, sincerity and freedom;

THEY ALWAYS ONLY TALK ABOUT WHAT IS CLOSE TO THE SI--

Lyanin. There are no subtle turns. Shutp" is always sharp, but without causticity and pretense. The courtier intends to imitate them; interferes in their conversations; but in his expressions, it seems, there is no frankness and simple-heartedness. What seemed innocent in their actions is offensive in him. He senses this and wants to force them to imitate himself. In the city they consider him a pleasant conversationalist, and he tries with all his might to show off the same here; but empty anecdotes, traits of tenderness that he sometimes displays, completely unknown here, remain unsuccessful. Here he seems to be a mocker, meanwhile how in the city no one will accuse him of this vice. The sharpest compliments, in his opinion, seem feigned. The caresses he lavishly lavishes on women, and who are only polite and dexterous, seem to be a mockery. That's how great the difference in tone is between just two classes of people [10, 6].

Thus, in order to speak the same language, you need to know well the morals, customs, and characteristics of the people with whom you have to communicate.

§2. People's thoughts about the interview

Communication accompanies a person throughout his life. I! epics, fairy tales, songs, proverbs and sayings; the people expressed their understanding of the meaning of communication; process of work, determined its positive and negative qualities, showed what influences the success of communication, what requirements should be made to the participants in communication. In this regard, proverbs and sayings are especially indicative.

Comprehension folk wisdom allows us to better navigate difficult life situations and find the most correct solutions.

Interviews, communication, and speech, according to the people, should enrich a person, develop his intellect, and contain something new, unknown, and instructive. Then communication brings satisfaction to the interlocutor.

_____-"Culture and art of speech -

nikam, gives rise to mutual respect, enriches life experience. “Everyone can gain wisdom from someone else’s conversation.” Hence the warning that defines the attitude towards words, speech, language: “The word is not spoken in vain”, “When you speak, think”, “Don’t throw words to the wind”, “Do not waste words”, “Don’t rush with your tongue, hurry with your deeds” , “You can hold the horse on the reins, but you can’t take the words out of your mouth.”

Unfortunately, people often engage in empty talk, spoil their friends, and gossip. Proverbs express a negative attitude towards such conversations: “He talks day until evening, but there is nothing to listen to,” “In a lot of talk, not without idle talk,” “Much has been said, but little has been said.”

There is so much humor and irony in the proverb “Pour from empty to empty.” An empty matter is like an empty conversation. Neither one nor the other brings any benefit, and both do not bring joy or satisfaction. “They said that they had made money, but look, there’s nothing.”

Communication is a two-way process. It involves at least two people, and each of them determines what the interview will be like.

It’s very unpleasant when people don’t listen to you, but it’s even worse when one of the participants in the dialogue, without listening to the end, joins the conversation and two voices sound at the same time. Such communication is more like a bazaar than a conversation between people who respect each other. It’s especially bad when this happens at meetings, meetings,

_____

discussions.

What do people value in their interlocutor, what do they condemn?

We find the answer in the proverbs: “He doesn’t say a word to the wind” or “He doesn’t throw words into the wind”, “He won’t go into his pocket for a word.”

Responsible attitude to what is said, absence of idle chatter, boasting, resourcefulness in conversation - positive traits speaker.

But know-it-all (“He has an answer to every demand”), inability and unwillingness to understand the interlocutor (“Our conversation is the conversation of the deaf,” “We speak different languages”), stubbornness in defending one’s opinions (“You can’t come to an agreement with him on an empty stomach “,” “I need to talk to you when I’m full of peas”), lack of logic in the conversation (“I tell him about Thomas, and he tells me about Yerema”), inconsistency of presentation, contradictory statements (“You’re his word, and he’s ten to you”) - all These are undesirable qualities that do not create comfort during communication.

And again the proverb warns: “ Better with your foot stutter rather than with your tongue.” Therefore, you should be careful in choosing words, remember: “The word is not an arrow, but it hits harder than an arrow”, “A wound from a knife is healed, before a wound inflicted by a word, the doctor is powerless”, “There is no way in quarrels and nonsense”, “There are many I scolded, but achieved no good.”

But if a quarrel could not be avoided, proverbs call for reconciliation: “Every quarrel is red with peace,” “Whoever I quarrel with, I will make peace with,” “By the way, fight, but inappropriately make peace,” “Make peace with people, but fight with sins.” "

The word scold has many meanings. In addition to meaning “to quarrel,” it means “to utter swear words, to swear.” The people have an ambivalent attitude towards abuse. On the one hand, proverbs emphasize that swearing is a common thing (“Swearing is not a reserve, and without it, not for an hour”), it does not bring much harm to anyone (“Swearing is not smoke - it won’t eat your eyes”, “Swearing will not eat your eyes” , “Expletive does not hang on the collar”).

Swearing even seems to help in the work; you can’t do without it (“You can’t get the job done without swearing”; “Without swearing, you can’t unlock the lock in the cage”).

On the other hand, proverbs teach: “Argue

Culture and art of speech -_____

argue, but it’s a sin to scold”, “Don’t scold: what comes out of a person is what rots him”, “Abrasion is not tar, but akin to soot: if it doesn’t flatter, it gets dirty”, “Argument makes people dry, but boasting makes them fat”, “You can’t take it with your throat, you can’t beg it with abuse.”

There are also cases when a conversation turns into a quarrel, a quarrel into abuse, and abuse into a fight. Proverbs do not approve of such behavior: “Use your tongue as you like, but don’t give your hands free rein,” “Swear, but don’t give your hands free rein,” “Click and hiss with your tongue, but keep your hand in your bosom.”

As we can see, proverbs call for restraint in conversation, respectful attitude, and balanced and evidence-based debate.

“No matter how much you interpret, you won’t be able to reinterpret everything,” “No matter how much you talk, you won’t be satisfied with the conversation.”

Indeed, everything has an end. And no matter how interesting communication can be, no matter how much we forget about time, carried away by the conversation, it is important not to prolong the conversation, but to stop it in time.

Communication and society - related words. It was the unification of people, their joint work, obtaining food, protection from attacks, natural disasters that gave rise to the need for communication. The word communication (like society) goes back to the word common. This is no coincidence. When communicating there should be:

General need and interest in transmitting and receiving information;

General topic of conversation;

A common language, with its system of sounds and signs, with a special “voice” that allows one to convey the subtlest shades of a person’s thoughts and feelings.

Test questions and assignments

1. Name the main conditions for effective conversation.

2. What aspects of communication are reflected in proverbs and sayings?

3. How do people characterize the participants in the conversation?

4. Which proverbs express the people’s attitude towards words?

Culture and communication attack -_____ Chapter 3. Business communication

Business communication occupies a significant place in the lives of many people. After all, we constantly have to discuss issues related to the organization of production, the life of the workforce, the performance of official duties, and entrepreneurial activity, concluding various types of transactions, contracts, making decisions, drawing up documents, etc.

Skillful business communication largely determines the success of an activity. What characterizes business communication?

§1. Peculiarities business communication

Partnerships

In N.V. Gogol's " Dead souls“There is an excellent description of the different forms of address accepted among the bureaucrats of Tsarist Russia. Let's quote this excerpt:

It must be said that in Rus', if we have not yet kept up with foreigners in some other respects, we have far surpassed them in the ability to communicate. It is impossible to count all the shades and subtleties of our appeal. A Frenchman or a German will not understand and will not understand all its features and differences; he will speak with almost the same voice and the same language both to a millionaire and to a small tobacco dealer, although, of course, in his soul he is moderately mean to the first. That’s not the case with us: we have such wise men who will speak to a landowner who has two hundred souls completely differently than to one who has three hundred, and to someone who has three hundred they will again speak differently than to the one who has five hundred of them, but the one who has five hundred of them is again not the same as the one who has eight hundred of them - in a word, even if you go up to a million, all shades will be found. Suppose, for example, there is an office, not here, but in a distant country, and in the office, let us suppose, there is a ruler of the office. I ask you to look at him when he sits among his subordinates - but you simply cannot utter a word out of fear! Pride and nobility, and what doesn’t his face express? Just pick up a brush and paint: Prometheus, determined

Culture and art of speech -

Prometheus! Looks out like an eagle, acts smoothly, measuredly. The same eagle, as soon as he left the room and approaches the office of his boss, is in such a hurry as a partridge with papers under his arm that there is no urine. In society and at a party, even if everyone is of low rank, Prometheus will remain Prometheus, and a little higher than him, Prometheus will undergo such a transformation that Ovid would not invent: a fly, smaller than even a fly, destroyed into a grain of sand! “Yes, this is not Ivan Petrovich,” you say, looking at him. - Ivan Petrovich is taller, but this one is short and thin; he speaks loudly, has a deep bass voice and never laughs, but this devil knows what: he squeaks like a bird and keeps laughing. If you come closer, it’s like Ivan Petrovich! “Ehe-he,” you think to yourself...”

What are the described relationships based on? What underlies the behavior of an official?

Reverence for rank, servility, flattery, servility before superiors and arrogance, swagger before subordinates - these are his moral principles in dealing with people.

Undoubtedly, such relationships cannot contribute to the success of the business. They fetter initiative, belittle human dignity, and kill interest in activities. No matter how one recalls the famous words of Griboyedov’s Chatsky: “I would be glad to serve, but being served is sickening.”

Business communication should be built on a partnership basis, take into account the mutual requests and needs of its participants, and be based on the interests of the business.

Business communication, based on the principles of cooperation and mutual understanding, increases the business and creative activity of people and is an important factor in the technological production process.

Regularity

A specific feature of business communication is its regulation, i.e., subordination to established rules and restrictions.

These rules are determined by the type of business communication, the degree of its formality, the goals and objectives of a particular meeting, national and cultural traditions.

There are so-called “written” and “non-written”

Culture and ethics of communication -

written" rules of behavior in a given communication situation. For example, quite often one hears such expressions as “according to the protocol”, “in accordance with the protocol”, “according to the protocol”, etc.

The word protocol is a term that is used in the field of international relations. Diplomatic protocol is a set of rules, conventions, traditions governing the procedure for carrying out diplomatic acts.

Many of the subtleties of communication represented by the protocol are taken into account in other areas of business relations.

Business etiquette, reflecting the accumulated experience, moral ideas and tastes of certain social groups, is becoming increasingly widespread in business circles.

Business etiquette includes the rules of greeting and introduction, regulates behavior during a presentation, at a reception, at the table; prescribes how to give and accept souvenirs, how to use business cards, business correspondence etc.

Much attention is paid to etiquette appearance business people, their clothing, ability to manage negative and positive emotions, and manner of speaking.

Knowledge of the rules business etiquette allows a person to feel confident and at ease, not feel embarrassed due to mistakes and incorrect actions, and avoid ridicule from others. Violation of etiquette norms can lead to an undesirable result in the communication process, put a person in an awkward position, and create an anecdotal situation. This is the incident he witnessed, described by A. Knigge:

One day I happened to dine with Prelate N.<..>yard His Eminence was given a place of honor next to Her Serene Highness Princess A.<..>. On occasion, a pouring spoon lay in front of him, but he thought that it was placed in front of him out of special respect for him, and, wanting to show that he also knew politeness, he respectfully offered the Princess to use this spoon in his place, which, however, was too great and completely incommensurable

Culture and art of speech -

the size of her Ladyship's small mouth [10, 7].

The regulation of business communication also requires a more strict attitude towards the use of speech by its participants. In business communication, swear words and obscene expressions, colloquialisms are not allowed, the use of words of a limited scope of use (jargon, dialectisms, professionalisms) is undesirable; terms and foreign words should not be abused.

An unpleasant impression is produced by errors associated with violation of the norms of modern literary language, inaccuracy of word usage, incomprehensibility of statements, verbosity, etc.

All this testifies to the low speech culture of the speakers and, naturally, undermines trust in them and their words.

Learn to use the language. Written and oral, - Harvey Mackay urgently demands, addressing business people.

And Lee Iacocca writes about himself:

I strive to speak with my employees as clearly and frankly as possible. It seems to me the best way create a business mindset in them by revealing the action plan to them and thus making them conscious participants in its development and implementation. I must explain to them what goals I set for myself, just as other managers must formulate their own goals with their staff.<..>It is very important to speak to people in a language familiar to them. If you succeed, your listeners will say to themselves, “Oh my God, he said exactly what I was thinking.” And if they begin to respect you, they will follow you for the rest of their lives [36, 80.

The ability to use language also includes knowledge and observance of speech etiquette.

Speech etiquette refers to the rules of speech behavior developed by society, a system of stable speech formulas for communication.

Indeed, various situations require the use of

Culture and ethics of communication -_____

calling certain speech patterns. Here, for example, are expressions that can be used when meeting:

Let's get acquainted (let's get acquainted) Let (let's) get to know you Let (let's) introduce myself Please introduce me to... Introduce me to your (yours)... Please introduce yourself. This is mine... Let me introduce you... Let me introduce you to my... Very nice

I’m happy (glad) to meet you. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time. I know your face: we’ve probably met somewhere

Your face seems familiar to me

It seems to me that we have already met somewhere

Of course, you can’t just memorize these expressions mechanically. It is very important to consider how appropriate this or that formula of speech etiquette is in a particular situation, whether it corresponds to the social status of the speaker, his individual characteristics whether it is acceptable for the interlocutor.

The use of etiquette speech patterns helps interlocutors establish contact, establish mutual understanding, create a favorable psychological environment, and maintain communication in a certain tone in accordance with the social roles of its participants.

This is exactly what one of the heroes of A. Kron’s novel “Insomnia” talks about. Notice how much importance he attaches to the use of speech etiquette:

It would seem that there is no practical need for acquaintances, and even more so strangers, to wish each other health when they meet; such a wish cannot have any real impact on the somatic state of the body. However, our consciousness clearly registers data from vision (a bow or a casual nod), hearing (oh, thousands of shades!) and even touch - the most ancient rite handshakes have acquired something new in our time,

Culture in the art of speech -

Culture and ethics of communication

no less important meaning, and when people whom you had previously barely honored with a nod stopped greeting you, it was a real shock for you. You went on a rampage. People are not indifferent to who, how and in what order they greet them, turn to them with requests or orders, thank them for a service or take it for granted, ask for forgiveness even for involuntary damage, or are content with their impunity. “Hello”, “please”, “thank you” and “sorry” - I consider the introduction of these four words into everyday life more important than collecting waste paper, and it would be quite nice if, through the collective efforts of physiologists and humanists, something like a code of household social hygiene was created.

Speech etiquette to a certain extent reflects the moral state of society, its moral principles.

It is known that in some countries laws have been issued prescribing how to address representatives of various sectors of society. Such laws, issued by the great reformer Peter I, were strictly in effect in our country until 1917.

Currently, work is underway to prepare a Dictionary of Russian Speech Etiquette, the basis of which should be words and stable expressions of friendly treatment from works of Russian fiction of the 19th-20th centuries. Such a dictionary will undoubtedly help improve the culture of speech etiquette.

It should be taken into account that speech etiquette has national specifics. Each nation has created its own system of rules of speech behavior. For example, V. Ovchinnikov in his book “Cherry Branch” describes the uniqueness of Japanese etiquette as follows:

In conversations, people avoid saying “no” in every possible way.

*can’t*, *don’t know,” as if these were some kind of curses, something that cannot be expressed directly, but only allegorically, in roundabout ways.

Even when refusing a second cup of tea, the guest, instead of “no, thank you,” uses an expression that literally means “I’m already fine”...

If a Tokyo acquaintance says: “Before I respond to your proposal, I must advise

marry your wife,” then you don’t need to think that this is a champion of women’s equality. This is just one way to avoid saying the word “no.”

For example, you call a Japanese person and say that you would like to meet him at six in the evening at the press club. If he starts asking again: “Oh, at six? Oh, at the press club? and utter some meaningless sounds, you should immediately say: “However, if this is inconvenient for you, you can talk at another time and in another place.”

And here the interlocutor, instead of “no,” will happily say “yes” and grab the first offer that suits him.

Knowledge of the peculiarities of national etiquette, its speech formulas, understanding the specifics of business communication of a particular country or people helps in negotiating and establishing contacts with foreign partners.

The regulation of business communication also means that it is limited to a certain time frame. It is no coincidence that people say: “Time is money.” Business people They know the value of time, try to use it rationally, and usually plan their work day by hours and minutes. Therefore, as a rule, business meetings have strict regulations. In order for the allotted time to be used effectively, it is important to clearly define the range of issues discussed and carefully prepare for the meeting.

Dale Carnegie, in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, quotes one of the business school leaders as saying:

I would rather walk on the sidewalk for two hours in front of the office of a business partner with whom I am about to have a meeting than enter his office without having a completely clear idea of ​​what I am going to say to him and what he, based on my knowledge of him, is going to say. interests and motives, can answer.

Following the Principles of Effective Listening

“Listening is a rare ability and highly valued. Much more often they try to interrupt...” writes D. Granin in the novel “Picture”. Perhaps these words will cause confusion for some. Really, what's here

Culture and art of speech -

What's special about being able to listen? After all, all people with normal hearing hear each other, talk, communicate. However, hearing and listening are not exactly the same thing. Hearing means physically perceiving sound, and listening is not just directing the ear to something, but focusing on what is perceived, understanding the meaning of the sounds received. Most people, according to scientists, are bad at listening to the words of others, especially if they do not affect their real interests. Research shows that no more than ten percent of people have the ability to listen to an interlocutor calmly and purposefully, to penetrate into the essence of what is being said [20, 112].

It is not difficult to notice that when we mentally disagree with the speakers, then, as a rule, we stop listening and wait for our turn to speak, select reasons and arguments, and prepare a worthy answer. And when we start arguing, we get carried away with justifying our point of view and also don’t hear our interlocutor, who is sometimes forced to interrupt us with the phrase: “Yes, listen to me, finally!”

Meanwhile, the ability to listen is a necessary condition for a correct understanding of the opponent’s position, a correct assessment of the disagreements that exist with him, the key to successful negotiations, conversations, and an essential element of the culture of business communication.

Let us quote an excerpt from I. S. Turgenev’s novel “Rudin”:

Rudin listened, smoking a cigarette, and was silent, only occasionally inserting small remarks into the speech of the babbling lady. He knew how and loved to talk; Conversation was not his thing, but he also knew how to listen. Anyone whom he initially intimidated blossomed trustingly in his presence: so willingly and approvingly did he follow the thread of someone else’s story.

This is what is important: Rudin knew how to listen, and he also knew how to listen “willingly and approvingly.” To be able to listen, just like to be able to speak, is also an art that must be learned.

Let's look at what listening is from a psychological point of view, what its main principles are.

Culture and ethics of communication -

“The principles and what techniques of so-called good listening everyone needs to learn.

Listening is the process of perceiving, comprehending and understanding the speech of the speaker. This is the ability to focus on a partner’s speech, the ability to isolate ideas, thoughts, emotions, the speaker’s attitude from his message, and the ability to understand his interlocutor. This is psychological readiness for contact with another person. As psychologists say, listening is hard work, but also the most valuable gift that you can bestow on another.

The manner of listening, or the so-called listening style, largely depends on the personality of the interlocutors, on the character and interests of the listeners, on the gender, age, and official status of the participants in the communication. For example, subordinates, as a rule, are more attentive and focused in a conversation with their “superiors” than vice versa; they do not always dare to interrupt their opponent or stop him in an argument.

Psychologists have also found significant differences in the behavior of men and women. They believe that in a conversation a man interrupts a woman almost 2 times more often. For approximately one third of the conversation, the woman collects her thoughts and tries to restore the course of the interrupted conversation. Men are more likely to focus on the content of the conversation, while women pay more attention to the process of communication itself. Men love to listen to themselves. They tend to give ready-made answers too quickly, without listening to the interlocutor to the end and without asking him questions (See: Atwater I. I’m listening to you... - 2nd ed. - M., 1988). ",

Types of hearing

There are two types of listening. One of them is called non-reflexive. It consists of the ability to remain attentively silent and not interfere with the interlocutor’s speech with your remarks. At first glance, such listening seems passive, but it requires significant physical and psychological effort. Non-reflective listening is usually used in communication situations when one of the interlocutors is deeply excited, wants to express his attitude to a particular event, wants to discuss pressing issues, experiences.

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has difficulty expressing his problems. However, such a hearing is not always appropriate. After all, silence can be taken as a sign of consent. Non-reflective listening is sometimes mistakenly interpreted as accepting the opponent's position. Therefore, it is much more honest to immediately interrupt the interlocutor and openly express your point of view in order to avoid misunderstandings later. In addition, it should be borne in mind that some interlocutors do not have sufficient desire to express their own opinions, others, on the contrary, expect active support and approval for their words. In such cases, it is recommended to use another type of listening - reflective. Its essence lies in active intervention in the speech of the interlocutor, in helping him express his thoughts and feelings, in creating favorable conditions for communication, in ensuring correct and accurate understanding of each other by the interlocutors,

It is important to be able to choose the type of listening that is most appropriate in a given communication situation. Analyze two dialogues between students in the same class.

I. Student. Why do I have to do this again? How can!

Class monitor. Why are you always indignant?

Student. It's not fair! I already have a lot of errands.

Class monitor. How do you talk?

Student. I will not do! I can't stay today!

Class monitor. You never have time! Go and do it!

(The student slams the door and goes home.)

P. Student. Why do I have to do this again? How can!

Class monitor. Yes?!

Student. Yes Yes!! It's not fair. I already have a lot of different assignments. Besides, I don’t have time today. I can't stay.

Class monitor. What do you have? Did anything happen?

(The student explains why he cannot stay and complete the assignment, but agrees to do it tomorrow.)

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In the first case, the class leader does not actually listen to his friend, does not allow him to speak, and interrupts him. In the second case, the headman listens reflexively, tries to understand his fellow student, and finds out the reason for his refusal. This leads to a positive result.

Conditions for Effective Listening

A necessary condition for effective listening is eye contact between interlocutors. Have you ever had to analyze where you are looking during a conversation, in which direction the gaze of other participants in the discussion is directed? The norms of Russian etiquette require that speakers look at each other, not with “empty eyes,” but attentively and interestedly. If the interlocutor’s eyes “shift,” it seems that he is telling a lie; if he averts his eyes, it seems that he is insincere, is hiding something, etc. We can say that the listener’s eyes show the “temperature” of the conversation. But in Japanese etiquette, the rules of listening are somewhat different. For example, in formal relationships, a subordinate is not allowed to look into the eyes of a superior. This is seen as a challenge, insolence, disrespect. And to confirm their attention during a conversation, the Japanese have developed a special technique: they constantly nod their heads and say “hi” (yes). Americans and Europeans perceive such etiquette behavior in accordance with their standards, so they are often shocked by the refusal of the Japanese at the end of the conversation. How is it that throughout the entire conversation they nodded their heads, said “yes” and suddenly gave a negative answer.

When it comes to effective listening, it is advisable to pay attention to the posture of the participants in communication. She can express desire and unwillingness to listen to her opponent. Your interlocutor has a natural, relaxed posture. He leaned his body slightly in your direction, his appearance suggests that he is all attention. All this creates favorable conditions for conversation. On the contrary, the interlocutor leans back, turns away, is inactive, does not look at the speaker, that is, with his whole appearance he emphasizes his reluctance to discuss the problems raised.

One should also take into account such important factors in communication as interpersonal space, distance,

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in which the interlocutors are in relation to each other. Researchers determine the limit of permissible distance between interlocutors as follows: interpersonal distance (for friends talking) - 0.5 - 1.2 m; social distance (for informal social and business relationships) - 1.2 - 3.7 m; public distance - 3.7 m or more. Depending on the type of interaction, one or another distance is selected that is most favorable for contact.

More information about internal state interlocutor's attitude to the subject of discussion, his facial expressions, gestures, and intonation can also indicate his reaction to our words. All this increases the effectiveness of listening and, therefore, allows you to better understand the essence of your opponent’s position. Therefore, it is no coincidence that one of the basic principles of good listening sounds like this: "Try to concentrate on the person who is speaking to you; pay attention not only to the words, but also to the sound of the voice, facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc."

Psychologists formulated another important principle of good listening as follows: “Show the speaker that you understand him.” To implement this principle, it is recommended to use various techniques of reflective listening.

You can ask the speaker for clarification using phrases such as: I didn’t understand you; Would you say it again?; What do you have in mind?

It is advisable to formulate the speaker's thoughts in your own words to clarify the message. Paraphrasing usually begins with the words: As I understand you...; As I understand you; In your opinion...; In other words, do you think...

Sometimes it is necessary to understand and reflect the speaker’s feelings: It seems to me that you feel...; You probably feel...; Don't you feel a little...; You're probably upset...

You can also use the so-called summarization technique. The listener summarizes the speaker's main ideas and feelings: What you said could mean...; Your main ideas, as I understand it, are...; If we now summarize what you said, then... This creates confidence in correct perception messages, especially in situations where there are disagreements between interlocutors, there is no single point

view, a conflict is brewing.

Academician D. S. Likhachev in his book “Letters about the Good and the Beautiful” draws readers’ attention to the fact that by carefully listening to his opponent and asking him again, clarifying his position, the arguer achieves three goals: firstly, the opponent cannot object, that he was “misunderstood”, that he “did not claim this”; secondly, the arguer, by his attentive attitude to the opponent’s opinion, immediately wins the sympathy of those who observe the dispute, and, thirdly, the arguer, by listening and asking again, gains time to think about his own objections, and this is also important.

Unfortunately, this principle is often violated. People, without bothering themselves, often do not listen to their opponent’s words, do not clarify his position, do not weigh his arguments, sometimes give them a different meaning and, therefore, respond not to his, but to their own thoughts. In this case, the opponent is forced to return to what was previously said and restate the points made.

Due to the inability to listen to each other, communication turns into some kind of ridiculous dialogues, when everyone talks about their own things, without taking into account the words of the other. This is reminiscent of the conversation between the heroes of the famous Renaissance writer who lived in the Netherlands in the 16th century, Erasmus of Rotterdam, described in his famous “Easy Conversations”:

Annius. I heard you were at Pankratiy’s wedding with Albina.

Levky. I have never had such a bad sailing experience as this time.

Annius. What are you saying? So many people gathered?

Levky. And never before has my life been worth less.

Annius. Look what wealth does! Only a few people came to my wedding, and even then they were all small people.

Levky. As soon as we went out to sea, a terrible whirlwind hit.

Annius. Just some kind of meeting of the gods! So many princes, so many noble ladies, you say?

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Levky. Boreas tore and tore off the sail.

Annius. I know the bride. It’s impossible to imagine anything more beautiful!

Levky. Then the stern oar was knocked over by a wave.

Annius. This is the general opinion. They say that the groom is almost as beautiful as her...

Each participant in this dialogue has his own topic of conversation. Annius is only interested in the wedding, while Leukias is worried about his unsuccessful voyage. The characters don't listen to each other. The main thing for them is to talk about what worries them. That's what they do.

Pay attention to this principle of good listening: “Don’t judge, don’t give advice.” Psychologists say that assessments and advice, even when given with the best intentions, usually limit freedom of expression. And this can reduce the activity of participants in the dialogue, put pressure on the opinions of those present and, as a result, interfere with an effective discussion of the problem.

Good Listening Techniques

It is also helpful to become familiar with the basic techniques of good listening. They were developed by the practice of people communicating with each other and described by specialists. Thus, the English psychologist I. Atwater in the book “I’m Listening to You...” gives the following recommendations on how to and how not to listen:

Don't mistake silence for attention. If the interlocutor is silent, this does not mean that he is listening. He may be lost in his own thoughts.

Be physically alert. Turn to face the speaker. Maintain eye contact with him. Make sure your posture and gestures indicate that you are listening.

Don't pretend to listen. It's no use, no matter how much you pretend, lack of interest and boredom will inevitably show in your facial expressions or gestures.

Give the other person time to speak. Focus on what he is saying. Try to understand not only the meaning of the words, but also the conclusions of the interlocutor.

Don't interrupt unnecessarily. Most of us interrupt each other in social interactions.

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ha, sometimes doing it unconsciously.

If you need to interrupt someone in a serious conversation, then help restore the interlocutor's train of thought that you interrupted.

-"Don't make hasty conclusions. This is one of the main barriers to effective communication. Refrain from judgment and try to understand the point of view of the interlocutor or his train of thought to the end.

Don't be overly sensitive to emotional words. When listening to a very emotional interlocutor, be careful not to be influenced by his feelings, otherwise you may miss the meaning of the message.

If the interlocutor has already spoken, repeat the main points of his monologue in your own words and ask if that’s what he meant. This guarantees you against any ambiguities and misunderstandings.

HP "pay attention to the conversational aspects of your interlocutor.

Thus, try to develop a willingness to listen to your opponent’s opinion and take it into account during the discussion. This psychological attitude will help you establish contact with your opponent, understand his point of view, and understand the essence of the disagreements between you.

Understand the basic principles of good listening. Be guided by them in the process of communicating with your opponents. This will make your dialogue more fruitful.

Remember the techniques of good listening. Make active use of them. They will help you better understand the incoming information, extract more necessary data from it, and make the right decisions.

Systematically train your good listening skills by controlling your behavior during communication. Remember that this takes time and patience.

“Learn to listen, and you can benefit even from those who speak poorly,” said Plutarch. Do not forget these words of the ancient Greek historian.

2. Zak. 1* 212

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§2. Types of business communication

Business conversation

D. Granin in his novel “The Picture” describes in detail how one of the city-level leaders is preparing for a business meeting with the regional boss. Losev faces a very difficult task - to convince Uvarov to make the Zhmurkina backwater, an area of ​​historical and artistic value for the city, a protected place, not to demolish the Kislykh house, and to move the construction of the branch to another place. Losev turned to his uncle Arkady Matveevich for help, and together they are developing a strategy and tactics for the upcoming conversation:

Arkady Matveyevich suggested not to cheat with Uvarov, to tell him everything as it is and not to hide about the picture, because if Uvarov heard something, it would turn out ugly. You should consider the sequence of the conversation. Arkady Matveevich always advised putting things in a certain order. We discussed how to motivate the request.

We discussed other details, for example, that it is better to make an appointment at the end of the day, when there are no further visitors.

According to Arkady Matveevich, his intelligence made Uvarov arrogant and lonely, and at the same time he, like clever man, hid his intelligence using administrative stamps. “How exactly is this,” I thought

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Losev, wondering why he could not determine this himself, although he had known Uvarov for a long time.

Arkady Matveyevich's nephew never ceased to be surprised - a fair, clear thing, but how many preparations and difficulties there were.

What advice does Arkady Matveevich give to Losev? Let us highlight the main ones:

Think over the sequence of the conversation;

Motivate the request;

Do not give in to the temptation of persuasion;

Give the interlocutor an opportunity to speak;

Use the “Socratic Method”, i.e. teach the interlocutor to agree;

Talk about what interests the interlocutor;

Try to get as much information as possible from your interlocutor;

Think through organizational issues, for example, when to make an appointment, etc.

Analysis of this passage helps to better understand what a business conversation is and what its features are.

A business conversation is a form of interpersonal communication that involves the exchange of views, points of view, opinions, information, aimed at solving a particular problem.

“The Dictionary of Modern Russian Literary Language” in 20 volumes defines the basic meaning of the word conversation as “a conversation (usually long), an exchange of opinions.” This emphasizes the dialogical nature of the conversation, the obligatory participation of both sides in the discussion.

The success of the conversation largely depends on how well the interlocutors know each other, whether they correctly understood the character traits of their partner and chose the right tone of conversation with him.

P. Mitsich in his book “How to Conduct Business Conversations” gives an interesting classification of possible types of interlocutors and advises how best to behave with a partner of a certain type.

We present this material in full, as we believe that it will arouse interest among readers and will be useful to them in practical activities:

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A cantankerous person, a “nihilist.” Such an interlocutor often goes beyond the professional boundaries of the conversation. During it, he is impatient, unrestrained and excited. With his position and approach, he confuses his interlocutors and unknowingly leads them to disagree with his theses and statements. You should behave in this way towards him:

discuss with him and justify controversial issues, if known, before the start of a general conversation;

remain cool and competent at all times;

strictly ensure that, whenever possible, the decision is formulated in words (with your content);

when possible, let others refute his claims and then reject them;

attract him to your side, try to make him a positive participant in the conversation;

talk with him face to face during breaks and pauses in negotiations and meetings to find out real reasons his negative position;

in extreme cases, insist that the business conversation be suspended, and later, when the hottest heads, and especially the “nihilist,” cool down, continue it;

At a table or in a meeting room, place it in a dead corner.

"A positive person. This is, of course, the most pleasant type of interlocutor, good-natured and hardworking, he allows you to sum up the conversation with him and have a calm and reasonable discussion. In relation to him you need to take the following position:

together to clarify and complete the consideration of individual cases;

ensure that all other interlocutors agree with this positive approach in this business conversation;

in difficult and controversial issues and situations, seek help and support from an interlocutor of this type;

in a group of interlocutors, sit him where there is free space.

"Know-it-all." This one thinks he knows everything the best way. He has his own opinion about everything, he always demands the floor.

When communicating with him, you should adhere to the following rules:

seat him next to the leader of the conversation;

remind him from time to time that others do too

Culture and ethics of communication

want to speak out;

ask him to let the other interlocutors work a little on the solution;

give him the opportunity to derive and formulate intermediate conclusions;

with bold and risky statements, give the other interlocutors the opportunity to develop and express their point of view;

sometimes ask him complex special questions, which, if necessary, can be answered by the one conducting the conversation.

"Chatterbox". Such an interlocutor often interrupts the flow of the conversation tactlessly and for no apparent reason. Doesn't pay attention to the time he spends on his attacks. To neutralize it, you need to:

like the “know-it-all”, sit closer to the leader of the conversation or to another authoritative person;

when he starts to deviate to the side, he must be stopped tactfully;

when he moves away from the topic of conversation, ask him what he sees as the connection between what was just said and the subject of discussion;

ask the participants in the conversation by name what their opinion is;

if necessary, limit the time of individual speeches and the entire conversation;

make sure that the “talker” does not turn problems “upside down” only to look at them from a new angle.

"Coward." This type of interlocutor is characterized by a lack of self-confidence during public speaking. He is more willing to remain silent, afraid to say something that, in his opinion, may look stupid or even funny. Such an interlocutor must be treated very delicately, with a sense of proportion:

ask him easy, informative questions;

approve him so that he develops his remark or inserted word into a series of sentences;

help him formulate thoughts;

resolutely suppress any attempts to ridicule him or his statements;

use encouraging language such as “everyone would like to hear your opinion”;

specifically thank him for any contribution to the conversation or remark, but do not do it in a condescending manner.

Cold-blooded, unapproachable interlocutor. Such a person is closed, often feels outside of time and space, as well as outside the topic and situation of a particular

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no business conversation, since all this seems to him unworthy of his attention and mental effort.

What to do in this case?

In any way you must:

interest him in sharing experiences;

ask him: “It seems you don’t quite agree with what was said. Surely we would all be interested to know why?”;

during breaks and pauses in the conversation, try to find out the reasons for his behavior.

Uninterested interlocutor. The topic of the conversation does not interest him at all. He would rather “sleep through” the entire conversation. Therefore you need:

ask him questions of an informative nature;

give the topic of conversation an interesting and attractive form,

ask him stimulating questions;

try to find out what interests him personally.

"Important Bird" Such an interlocutor cannot stand criticism - neither direct nor indirect. He feels and behaves as a person superior to other interlocutors. An essential element of our position in relation to such an interlocutor is the tactic according to which:

he should not be allowed to play the role of a guest during the conversation;

you need to quietly offer him and give him the opportunity to take an equal position with the other participants in the conversation;

do not allow any criticism of managers and other persons present or absent;

always clearly understand that we are talking about only one business conversation, and remember who is the initiator of this conversation;

It is very useful to use the “yes-but” method in a dialogue with such a person.

"Why?" It seems that this interlocutor was created only to compose and ask questions, regardless of whether they have a real basis or are far-fetched. He is simply burning with the desire to ask everything and everyone. How to deal with such an interlocutor? The following may help:

always immediately direct all questions related to the topic of the conversation to all interlocutors, and if there is only one, then redirect the question to him;

answer questions of an informative nature immediately;

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immediately admit that he is right if it is not possible to give him the desired answer.

Of course, in practice everything turns out to be much more layered. Experience shows that interlocutors who could certainly be classified as one type or another are quite rare. In most cases, we have to deal with people who combine traits of different types, and we can only talk about the predominance of certain characteristics in them. Therefore, the same person in different communication situations can behave differently: the “important bird” can become a “why”, and the “why” can turn into a “disinterested interlocutor”, etc.

All this must be taken into account when developing a course for conducting a specific conversation in order to stimulate in the interlocutor the manifestation of those qualities that will contribute to solving problems.

Now let’s look at how a business conversation is structured. Its structure can be represented as follows:

1. Starting a conversation (establishing contact, creating a “relational climate” favorable for conversation).

2. Statement of your position and justification for it.

3. Finding out the interlocutor’s position.

4. Joint analysis of the problem (eliminating the interlocutor’s doubts, refuting his comments, searching for solutions, etc.).

5. Decision making.

When conducting a conversation, participants often make various kinds of mistakes. Let's name the most typical of them:

Ignore the state of the interlocutor;

They do not take into account the motives of the interlocutor’s behavior;

They do not show interest in the interlocutor’s problem;

They do not listen to the interlocutor;

They interrupt speakers;

They speak without being sure whether they are being listened to;

They talk for a long time;

Limit yourself to one sentence (do not use the entire bank of ideas).

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Business meeting

Negotiation is a discussion with the aim of concluding an agreement between someone on some issue. This is how this word is interpreted in the four-volume academic Dictionary of the Russian Language. _,

Negotiations are an important type of business communication. With their help, business connections are established, contracts are concluded, important decisions are made, important documents are signed, coordinated Team work various firms, institutions, enterprises.

Negotiation - effective remedy conflict resolution, controversial issues, establishing friendly relations and establishing cooperation.

However, it should be borne in mind that negotiations are not a dispute, not a battlefield, not a theater of military operations, therefore it is unacceptable to sit down at the negotiating table with the mood to defeat the enemy.

Negotiations are necessary to make joint decisions. As many negotiation specialists emphasize, successful negotiations are, first of all, mutually beneficial solutions, that is, the most acceptable for both parties in a given situation.

Millionaire Harvey Mackay, in his book How to Survive Sharks, the No. 1 bestseller in the US economics market, writes the following:

A deal can always be completed if the parties consider it mutually beneficial.

Nine out of ten lawsuits usually end before going to trial, because even the most bitter opponents will sit down at the same table if they can be convinced that they themselves benefit from negotiation rather than fighting.

Whatever you are trying to buy or sell, the deal will work if you can demonstrate to the other party why it is beneficial to them.

It is said that when Moses came down after receiving the Ten Commandments from the Lord, he said, “Now, we have discussed this together. I persuaded Him to limit it to ten, but the prohibition of adultery still remained” [15, 77-78].

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Harvey Mackay's A Short Course in Negotiation ends with the words: “Who wins? As always, the player with more information, the better plan and the better skill.”

This laconic formula identifies the most important components of the success of business negotiations.

The author brings to the fore the possession of information, which is the most effective tool, the most valuable asset in any negotiations. Dialogue can be fruitful only if both parties are well versed in the problem being discussed and are competent in this area. In addition, it is very important that the information received is not one-sided and does not distort reality.

Negotiators have to work hard to gather the information they need, but the more information they have, the more confident they feel.

Positive results will also depend on a skillfully developed negotiation plan. Therefore, there is no need to waste time preparing for business negotiations; you need to carefully think through all the subtleties and details of the upcoming discussion, select possible arguments to substantiate your position, outline how best to use certain methods of influencing your opponent,

And, of course, the winners in negotiations, as a rule, are those participants who have good training, extensive experience, and master oral and writing, rules of business etiquette, etc., in a word, who has “higher skill.”

Researchers pay attention to another very important aspect of negotiations. They believe that in negotiations the main thing is not to analyze the positions of opponents, although this is undoubtedly important and necessary, but to take into account the interests of the parties, i.e. “the search for a balance of interests, their correlation comes to the fore,” the main question is: “how to resolve conflicting interests and realize their coincidence to the fullest extent” [14].

Foreign textbooks on negotiations give such an example. Two sisters argue about how to divide an orange. Each gives arguments, substantiates

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saying that she should receive, if not the whole orange, then at least part of it. They eventually decide to split it in half. The decision seems fair. However, it turns out that one sister wanted to eat the orange, while the other only needed the peel from it in order to make a cake.

What does this example say? The parties discuss their positions for a long time and persistently, without touching on the question of why they need this, and do not even think about it, i.e. they do not take into account each other’s interests.

Therefore, it is important to learn to reveal the interests of opposing parties, to be able to find common ones and coordinate divergent ones. And, of course, it is necessary first of all to clearly understand your own interests. We should not forget that the main thing in negotiations is not the assertion of our own position, but the satisfaction of our interests.

Negotiation and conflict resolution expert William Ury tells a cautionary tale at the end of his book, Overcoming Nos or Negotiations with Difficult People:

One man left seventeen camels as an inheritance to his three sons. Half of the camels were to go to the eldest son, a third to the middle son, and a ninth to the youngest. The brothers began to divide the inheritance, but could not agree, because seventeen is not divisible by two, three, or nine. Eventually the sons turned to the wise old woman for advice. Having considered the situation, she said: “Let's see what happens if you take my camel.” Thus, the sons ended up with eighteen camels. The eldest son took his half, that is, nine. The middle son took a third, that is, six. And the youngest received the ninth part - two camels. Nine, six and two add up to seventeen. One camel was too many.

They returned it to the wise old woman.

Like the seventeen camel problem, the author writes, negotiations can seem hopeless. Then, like the wise old woman, you need to step aside, look at the problem from a fresh angle and find the eighteenth camel [34, PO].

Don't despair if negotiations reach a dead end. No matter how hopeless they may be at first,

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record, if the parties wish, a correct and mutually beneficial solution can always be found. “According to U. Ury, the so-called breakthrough strategy can help in such negotiations. What is its essence? It requires actions that are opposite to our natural impulses:

It is necessary to restrain yourself when you really want to strike back, to listen when you are tempted to speak, to ask questions when all the answers are already ready, to overcome differences when you want to insist on your own, to educate instead of inflaming the conflict [34, 116].

Breakout strategy is based on respect for your opponent. It is important not to force him to make a decision, but to give him the opportunity to make his own choice, and for this we need to change the situation accordingly, transform the negotiations, turn the enemy into a partner in constructive negotiations.

U. Yuri gives the following example:

During Civil War In America, Abraham Lincoln gave a speech in which he spoke sympathetically of the southern rebels. An elderly lady, an ardent Unionist, accused him of talking sympathetically about his enemies instead of destroying them. His answer became classic: “Why, madam,” answered Lincoln, “do I not destroy my enemies by kissing them with my friends?”

When they talk about negotiations, they usually consider the preparation for them and the process of conducting them.

The preparatory stage includes working out both organizational aspects and the substantive side of the negotiations.

During the preparation process, it is necessary to decide who will take part in the negotiations, who will lead the delegation, and distribute responsibilities between the members of the delegation. It is necessary to determine the place and time of the meeting, draw up a program of negotiations, clarify work regulations, give instructions to the employees serving the negotiations, etc.

Particular attention should be paid to the content of the pre-

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worthwhile meeting, i.e. analyze the problem, thoroughly study the state of affairs, clearly formulate the goals and objectives of the negotiations, determine the general position of the delegation, develop your own position, select convincing arguments, find possible solutions, prepare proposals, draw up Required documents etc.

Practice and experience in conducting a wide variety of negotiations both in our country and abroad have made it possible to develop the most optimal model of the negotiation process. Let's name its main structural elements:

1. Greeting the participants, introducing the parties to each other.

2. Statement of problems and goals of negotiations.

3. Dialogue between participants, including clarification, discussion and coordination of positions, clarification of mutual interests.

4. Summing up and making decisions.

5. Completion of negotiations.

After negotiations, it is advisable to analyze their results.

Telephone conversations

One day, one of the newspaper publications told how the author of the article made a phone call to some senior comrade. Not of a very high rank, in any case, he is not entitled to a secretary. I dialed the desired number, and the receiver said: “Wait!”

“He hasn’t heard my voice yet, doesn’t know who he will talk to - a man or a woman, a young man or an honored veteran - and yet: “Wait!” - the correspondent writes with indignation. - A trifle? No, I can’t agree. A well-mannered person who is strict with himself and respects not only his own person cannot have the habit of starting a conversation like that in everyday life. If this form of communication has already become the norm, then how can one not become imbued with anxiety for the authority of the position and even for the authority of the entire organization where this person serves.”

Telephone conversations occupy a significant place

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in business life. According to experts, up to 27 percent of working time is spent on them. And how many business conversations you have to have on the phone at home, while on vacation, etc.! And if a person does not master the culture of telephone communication, does not know the basic rules of its conduct, or deliberately neglects them, then this can significantly undermine his authority, harm his career, and reduce the effectiveness of his activities.

Let us formulate the basic requirements for a telephone conversation:

Conciseness

Logic

Information content

No repetitions or lengths

Friendly tone

Clear pronunciation of words, especially last names and numbers

Average speech rate

A business person should know that a telephone conversation has its own structure and follows a certain pattern. Here are the main elements of the composition of a telephone conversation:

1. Mutual introductions (20±5 seconds).

2. Introduction to the interlocutor (40±5 seconds).

3. Discussion of situations (10О±15 seconds).

(It is necessary to have a carefully thought out list of main and secondary questions that require a short and specific answer.)

4. Closing remarks (20±5 seconds).

It is also necessary to master the basic rules of conducting a telephone conversation. The test below will help you with this. It provides formulations of the most common rules. If you always follow this rule, give yourself two points (2), sometimes one point (1), never zero points (0), and then add up the number of points.

Test “Telephone Communication Culture”

1. I dial a phone number only when I am firmly convinced that it is correct.

2. I carefully prepare for a business phone call.

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conversation, achieving maximum brevity.

3. Before particularly important telephone conversations, I make the necessary notes on a sheet of paper.

4. If there is a long conversation ahead, I ask the interlocutor if he has enough time and, if not, I reschedule the conversation for another agreed day and time.

5. Having achieved a telephone connection with the desired institution, I name myself and my company.

6. If I “got to the wrong place,” I apologize, rather than silently hang up.

7. When I receive an erroneous call, I politely answer: “You have the wrong number” and hang up.

8. While working on an important document, I turn off the phone or switch it to the secretary.

9. In business telephone conversations, I “control myself,” even if I was annoyed with something before.

10. While on duty, as a response to a telephone conversation, I give my last name.

I. During a long monologue of the interlocutor on the phone, from time to time I confirm my attention with short remarks.

12. When concluding a business conversation over the phone, I thank the interlocutor and wish him success.

13. If a colleague who is asked by phone is absent, I ask him what to tell him and leave a note on his desk.

14. If the phone rings during a conversation with a visitor, I usually ask to call back later.

15. In the presence of employees, I try to speak on the phone in a low voice.

16. If the interlocutor is hard to hear, please speak louder or call back.

Key to the test

1. 25 or more points - you are fully proficient in the culture of telephone communication.

2. from 20 to 24 points - in general, you master the art of telephone conversation, but there is still room for improvement.

3. less than 20 points - it is advisable to STUDY the rules again [23].

Culture and ethics of communication -_____ Test questions and assignments

1. Name the main features of business communication and describe them.

2. Formulate the principles of effective listening,

3. Tell us how you should and shouldn’t listen. Give examples.

4. What types of business communication do you know?

5. Name characteristics de.iovoy conversation, negotiations, telephone conversation.