How to cope with life's difficulties. How to get through a difficult period in life

In the article you will learn:

Hello friends! “Everyone always has problems. Only a few solve them” ©. Sometimes we easily experience some life situations or temporary difficulties, but even strong man can unsettle you into serious troubles. Today I will share with you a few in effective ways. Read on to learn how to overcome difficulties in life.

Whoever prepares for a fight has half won it

In order to effectively overcome the difficulty that has arisen, we first need to get rid of all the obstacles that prevent us from doing this. And the main enemy in this is our fear. There is fear that invigorates and suggests that we are on the threshold of something new. And there is destructive fear, leading to depression. We are simply afraid that nothing will work out for us and life will change in a way that is not best for us.

That is, we are afraid of the consequences. They have not yet arrived, but we are already afraid of them. This is the position of the victim. Therefore, instead of moaning and crying about fate or bad luck, you need to accept everything that happened. It happened and life goes on.

To make this easier, you can use the following statements and thought forms:

1. Write down everything that worries you on paper.
2. Add to them formulas that help you come to terms with them: “this won’t always happen,” “this will pass,” “I will overcome this,” “so what?” etc.

For example:

• My wife left me and I can handle it!
• I was fired. So what? I'll find a new one!
• I don't have money, but that won't always be the case!

Do you feel it getting easier? If the fear is too strong and you are creating scary pictures for yourself, then describe all the worst-case scenarios for you and come to terms with them. Because you are worried about the unknown, but now it is gone, and you know how to plan your actions.

Health is not everything, but without health everything is nothing

Any difficulties that are difficult to cope with require large energy expenditures. Therefore, it is important to prepare your body for them. Take care of your health, eliminate from your life everything that has a detrimental effect:

• Unhealthy food. Fatty, fried, excessively salty foods worsen metabolism and interfere with the production of the necessary energy, especially in old age.
• Lack of sleep can seriously affect mental condition, cause apathy, depression. But do not resort to sleeping pills in this case. This is a last resort method and only as prescribed by a doctor. Better read what I offer you for a strong healthy sleep in the article “How to quickly fall asleep and get enough sleep.”
• Excessive passion for computer games or television. What you need now is a clear consciousness, and not an escape from reality into toys and a zombie box.
• Especially exclude alcohol. It will not help solve the problem, but rather the opposite. An altered state of consciousness can make the situation worse.

For what more

Now that you are in active physical and psychological shape, you are ready to adequately perceive the real state of affairs. Namely, to understand that you spent all your energy on your emotions and struggling with difficulties, losing sight of the main goals.

What do you want in the long term, in five years or ten? How do you see your life when all these troubles become just a thing of the past? What are you really striving for? Think about it if you haven’t asked such questions before or remember.

Focus on your main goals and realize: what is happening to you now is just a task, another stage on the way to the goal. What do they do with tasks? They are solved. Remember how at school the teacher asked us to solve examples from the textbook. They were easy and complex. Sometimes we were lazy or bored to do them, but more often it was interesting and curious.

Because it was something new. We pored over, we were tired, but we were looking for the right answer. So it is now. We just need to sit and think carefully about what we can do under these conditions.

How to overcome difficulties: a lesson in time management

And one of the most important laws of time management says: if a task is complex, break it into parts. Make several small ones out of a large volume. Our brain is designed in such a way that by making something concrete and tangible out of the global, we think more effectively.

The next step is planning. Think carefully about how you will proceed, so that if you do not completely solve the problem, then do it as best as possible. Assess what barriers may arise on your way; you should be prepared for different results.

Forget failure - accept the lesson

And immediately accept the fact that the result may not be what you expect. And then you need to set new tasks. And that's okay. This too shall pass. It is useless to be angry with yourself and especially with others. Learn from this.

If you had to overcome some difficulties in life, it means that somewhere in the past you acted in such a way that you created them in the present. As Faina Ranevskaya said: “People make their own problems - no one forces them to choose boring professions, marry the wrong people or buy uncomfortable shoes.”

And if you take a close look at yourself and your life, you will understand that this is for your benefit. Thanks to these situations, you learn and develop yourself. Because everything in life is interconnected. If you want to live happily, develop, become aware of yourself and your actions.

A man dies when his joy runs out

And then the essence of the next method will be revealed to you - to enjoy life. Be grateful for what you have. No, I am in no way preaching and saying to be content with something small, but to appreciate what has ALREADY been given to you. Search positive sides, see them and think about them.

Low salary? A lesson that will help you in the future - increase your income, develop professionally. The good thing is that you have a lot to learn. Think about the achievements that await you, and not about how difficult it is for you now to provide for yourself, pay rent, etc.

When I moved to London, at first it was very difficult for me in a foreign country, far from my family, from my usual way of life. But I did it! Because she didn’t feel sorry for herself, but moved forward and believed in the best! I also realized how important a loved one is and how good it is that he is next to me!

How to become better

I hope my ways of overcoming difficulties will help you. Write in the comments what helped you personally and share your valuable experience! But that is not all. As you understand, without difficulties there would be no development. We would stand still and drown in our own swamp.

Therefore, I have prepared a list of qualities whose development will always be useful. They will help you crack any problems that arise on your life path:

1. Adequate expectations. Don't place unrealistic expectations on people. Trust is given over time, in the process of getting to know each other.
2. Self-sufficiency. Learn independence and autonomy. Don't confuse it with feminism. A man protects a woman and takes care of her, but if circumstances change and the woman has to be left alone, she will not be lost.
3. Responsibility. Learn to be responsible for your actions and not be afraid to do something new.
4. Positivity. Any contact can be established with a smile cheerful person, he does not dwell on failures and believes in the best.
5. Patience. When you want everything at once, you get little and not for long. But a great result requires time and effort, and this is where the ability to be patient a little comes in handy.

But the most important thing is the desire for self-development. If you do not sit still and strive to become better, stronger, smarter, then you will always find the most the best way out! You will be able to quickly eliminate detected shortcomings, adequately evaluate yourself, and be an interesting person for yourself and others.

Wish you all the best. Your June!

One day, on a dank gray evening, once again wiping away your tears and drinking a cognac glass of valerian, you decide that this cannot continue. And you want improve your life. Remembering your grandmother’s old recipe for dealing with everyday troubles, you take a sheet of paper and write at the top: PROBLEMS, after which you begin to pour out your soul into a mournful column:

Love: no and not expected
Health: it once was, now it’s no longer there
Job: It's there for now, but it looks like it won't be there any time soon
Appearance: to the trash heap
Prospects: no
Nerves: no way in hell
Rest: I forgot what it is
Friends: disappeared into the blue distance

Having thus summed up a disappointing conclusion, you go looking for a coin in order to use it to decide whether to hang yourself or hang yourself... Although you need to find a way to improve your life.

There is a "Dark Streak" in your life. It seems that problems are falling on your head like an avalanche, stunning, blinding and shackling your arms and legs. But, unlike an avalanche, which kills its victims quickly and painlessly, troubles seem to have decided to starve you out - slowly but surely. It's time to ask one of the main questions of the Russian intelligentsia: "What to do?" How to preserve yourself in a continuous, long-term stream of troubles and failures, and how, after pulling yourself together, improve your life?

It is known that saving drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves. This also applies to those who drown in the waves of everyday storms. Therefore, without delaying for a minute, begin the rescue operation. Ten anti-crisis measures should not only keep you afloat, but also help you get safely to a safe haven. And having learned them you will understand: improve your life- it's simple!

1. Problems - in line!

One of the main signs of the “Black Stripe” is the syndrome of acute lack of time. Usually problems alternate with periods of calm and carelessness, but now they attack you en masse, not allowing you to breathe. It seems like there are countless of them, and you can never cope with them. It's time to remember the old Russian proverb: the eyes are afraid, but the hands do. And so that your eyes are not afraid, do this. Write down all the things in a column chronological order: what needs to be done. Don't forget to indicate the deadline for completion. Then take a sheet of blank paper and secure it on top of the list using two paper clips so that only the very first line is visible from under the white sheet. Hang the list on the wall. Now, having done something, you cross it off the list and move the white sheet down. This way, you won’t forget to do anything, upcoming tasks won’t scare you, and the list of victories will grow before your eyes, giving you optimism and confirming that things are going on, no matter what. This list alone will certainly help. improve your life.

2. Sleep is a magic healer

Insomnia - frequent companion"black stripe". You go to bed, but anxiety does not let you sleep, restless thoughts creep into your head, and now it’s already three o’clock in the morning, and you still toss and turn sleepless on the hot sheets, and in the morning you get up with a sore head, completely broken. The darkness thickens around you even thicker than in the evening... Remember: nothing depresses and weakens the body more than lack of sleep. Weakness, irritability, and depressed mood may not be symptoms of impending depression, but the result of regular lack of sleep. Don't let insomnia weaken you from behind! A cool bedroom, a warm blanket, a low pillow and complete silence - a simple recipe good night. If necessary, take a mild sleeping pill. Remember: the more you sleep, the faster time passes, the sooner the “dark streak” will end, the more painlessly you will survive it, and, perhaps, life will get better herself.

3. Don't give up!

Do not give in to panic and defeatist moods! When everything is not going well, there is a huge temptation to give up on everything, to say: “Everything is lost! I can’t do anything anymore!” - and go with the flow, humbly awaiting the final catastrophe. The most interesting thing is that catastrophist predictions, as a rule, come true: if you give up and stop doing anything to save yourself, you, of course, will go to the bottom with a pleasant feeling of being right. But why do you need such rightness?.. Fight to the end, do everything possible and impossible so that improve your life, perseverance will bring you victory. It's easy to die, but it's hard to stay alive.

4. Strengthen your defense

Feel like a besieged fortress. Be careful and prudent, forget your usual carelessness, don’t be afraid to play it safe. Find out the "helpline" in your city. Even if you never use their services, you will at least know that you have this option in stock as a last resort. Pay increased attention to your health: the body under stress is susceptible to infections, which can worsen chronic diseases. Don't get too cold, follow your diet, walk more, take vitamins, and take good care of your teeth. Stress weakens attention; inattention causes accidents; When leaving home, check that electrical appliances are turned off, be careful on the roadway, when crossing the street and when driving a car.

5. Take yours

Enjoy the quiet moments to the fullest. When the next trouble is over, and all the painful worries of this day are completed, sit comfortably, or better yet, lie down, relax, close your eyes and say to yourself: “At this moment I am calm and happy, I am warm, I am full, nothing hurts me, everything around me silence, and now I don’t have to worry about anything. What will happen next, I don’t know. But this moment belongs entirely to me. And life will start to get better. Now everything is fine with me, and nothing can shake my bliss at this moment."

6. Humor is a strong weapon for the weak.

Look at the situation with humor, and for this, look at yourself from the outside. Think about it: after all, any humor is in some way built on other people’s troubles. Remember the classic examples: what good is it to get hit in the face with a cake - however, everyone laughs... And the drunk Ippolit in a winter coat and hat under the shower ("Oh! She's gone warm!..") - he had a good time in that unforgettable New Year's Eve?.. How much did Semyon Semenych Gorbunkov suffer for your laughter (“I tripped and fell. I woke up - a cast”), and the brave General Ivolgin uttered his famous “Well, damn it!” not at all from joy... Try to look at your life from the outside as a comedy of manners, retell the unpleasant events of the day as if you were composing a feuilleton. A bitter laugh is better than bitter tears.

7. Live in the moment

Don't remember the past. Don't think about the future. Live within the narrow horizon of today. Past troubles are powerless; they can only strike you with your own hands. Why pour grist into the mills of your enemies? Forget grievances and defeats - and you will become invulnerable. Don’t open your wounds, show your will, don’t remember what you can’t return. You should not frighten yourself with phantoms of future troubles - there is only one future, and you are inventing a whole hundred misfortunes, most of which will not happen. Solve problems as they arise so that life got better. Once you decide, forget it.

8. Walk into danger

Do unpleasant but necessary things without delay. Once the decision is made, long hesitation will only torment your soul. If it’s scary, you need to go towards danger, then it’s not so scary. Delay will only make the situation worse. Unpleasant conversation, surgery, leaving work or leaving family - all this must be done without hesitation. Consider all your options. Choose the one that seems right to you. Take responsibility. And take the plunge.

9. Helping others helps yourself

The only way to save yourself is to save others. Find those who are even worse off than you: believe me, there will always be such people! It doesn't have to be people - all Live nature needs compassion and effective help. By helping those who are weaker, you, firstly, save yourself from the false and demoralizing feeling that you are the most unfortunate creature in the world, and secondly, you become convinced of your strength and ability to do something positive, because you can always solve other people’s problems easier than your own! Don’t disdain small acts of kindness, even tiny ones. Take revenge on the evil of the whole world that has taken up arms against you: help your neighbor, help those who are far away. Their gratitude will be an unexpected joy, a ray of light in the darkness that has thickened around them.

10. Everything will pass

Remember: everything passes. This “black streak” in your life will also pass. This thought should not leave you for a minute. Everything passes, everything will pass, the morning will come, the sun will come out. When it comes to the worst, it begins to change for the better. And in order to satisfy the strict theory of probability, life will give you, to balance the “dark streak,” a wide “bright streak” full of happiness and success. You can do it improve your life. You just have to wait!

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If something bad happens, people often hide from their worries and wait for everything to get better. This normal reaction desire more happiness and less pain. But if negative experiences continue for a long time, in an attempt to hide from them, we stop living.

Here's what you need to do so that you don't wait out bad times in an emotional bomb shelter, but get the most out of them.

1. See negativity as an opportunity for growth.

Any negative experience can teach you a lot if you perceive it correctly. can give impetus to searching for a profession that is more suitable for you. Breaking up with a loved one will help make room for new quality relationships.

The disease will tell you what you are doing wrong: you don’t take care of your health, you work too much, leaving no time for yourself and your family, you worry too much. Often, after an illness, people change their view of many things, begin to take care of themselves, and spend more time with loved ones.

Any trouble is your teacher. But you can only understand the lesson if you openly experience your experience.

2. Don't hide, live your life fully

In an attempt to escape from despair, people often hide in meaningless activities: drinking, watching TV, surfing the Internet and in social networks, play computer games- do anything, just not to think about problems and not experience pain.

This strategy helps, but only for a while. Emotions don’t disappear anywhere: the next morning with a hangover or after eating a bucket of ice cream, they will rush over you with renewed vigor.

There is no need to hide from your feelings. On the contrary, open up to them and experience them fully. It won't kill you, it will heal you.

It would seem that the more we concentrate on our condition, the more clearly we feel the pain. However, the study Mindfulness meditation trumps placebo in pain reduction showed that this is not the case. People who practiced mindfulness meditation suffered 44% less pain than all other participants in the experiment.

Concentrate on your condition. Not on external circumstances, but on what is happening inside you now. What are you experiencing: fear, melancholy, hopelessness, despair? Expand this feeling, live it fully, feel its different shades. Imagine that you need to describe your emotional condition without missing a single detail.

3. Love your experience

Once you've stopped hiding from negativity, exposed your emotions, and learned your lessons, the next step is to love your experiences.

Every moment, filled with pain and sadness, is at the same time full of beauty. Every person who upsets you also teaches you an invaluable lesson. Love every minute of your experience and everyone who makes it happen.

Rejoice bad times as opportunities for growth, take them as an invitation to become better.

When the troubles are over, you will be a little stronger and wiser than you were.

All people face difficulties from time to time, even those for whom, according to everyone, everything comes easy. How do all people cope with this? Why not drop everything and run away to Goa? We'll help you change the way you think about these things, introduce you to some skills and strategies, and teach you what to do to face challenges head on.

Steps

Part 1

Accept the fact that you are facing difficulties. Many people brush off difficulties. They convince themselves that the problem is not important or that it does not exist at all. It is important for you to understand this because the very first step to solving a problem is to admit that a problem exists.

• It's not easy at all. Admitting to yourself that you have a problem that you have to deal with can be scary. If you are afraid of what this problem may turn out to be for you, remember: you have faced difficulties more than once before, and you managed to get out of them all. difficult situations. There's no reason to think this time will be any different.

1. Take action. Whatever problem is bothering you, you need to start doing something about it as soon as possible. Every moment of inaction is the same action. Without doing anything, you are still influencing something, and this is unlikely to help you solve the problem. Problems tend to quickly increase in number if they are not addressed. The sooner you start doing something, the easier it will be for you to cope with difficulties.

   Assess the situation. So, you are ready to take on the problem. Great! The best place to start is by assessing the situation. How much do you actually know about what's going on? Are you sure that you understand everything? It is necessary to deal not only with the consequences. It is possible that you do not know the root cause of the problem, so it is important to analyze everything that is happening very carefully.

   • This usually means that you will need to talk to people who are somehow related to your problem. Are you having difficulties at school? Talk to the teacher. At work? Discuss the issue with your boss or colleague. In a relationship? Talk to your partner. Health problems? Consult your doctor. You know what to do in each of these situations.
   • It may be helpful to make a list. Most often, difficulties are not expressed in one task or problem, but consist of many elements. Make a list of all tasks and subtasks and describe what you need to do to solve all the problems.

2. Evaluate your resources. Now that you know what you're up against, you need to think about what tools and resources you'll need. Which resources are most important depends on the problem, but there is a lot to consider. Think about your strengths, about people who can help you, and about physical resources (such as money). You also need to remember your weaknesses. This will allow you to plan for the future so you can compensate weak sides or at least be prepared for complications in these areas. Soberly assess both the good and the bad in the current situation, because unfounded optimism alone will not help here.

   • For example, you are having difficulties in your marriage. What do you need to solve the problem? You know how to talk about your feelings, and this is good, because this quality is necessary in order to come to an agreement. You have an example of parents who were able to stay together despite major quarrels, and they can advise you something. You also know that you rarely change your habits, so you need to remember to be especially careful here.

3. Gather more information. You know all the circumstances of the situation and you know what resources you have, so now you can start looking for the information you need. Find out more about the problem you are experiencing. Talk to people who have been through the same thing. The more information, examples of other people and options for getting out of the situation you have, the easier it will become for you to make your decisions. It will also remind you that you are not alone.

   • You can find it on the Internet a large number of information on any problems. Just use a search engine.
   • For example, you have problems at work. You have a meeting with management and you are afraid that your performance is below average. Search the Internet for criteria for assessing the quality of employee employees. You'll learn all about the process and be able to understand how others dealt with it. You will also be able to figure out what you should do to stay in your position if something in your performance evaluation turns out to be unsatisfactory.

4. Think about all the possibilities. When a person is nervous, he sees only a few ways out difficult situation. You may feel like you have only two options: do one way or another. However, more often than not, this turns out to be an incorrect view of the situation, which can harm you and negatively affect your decision-making. Try to find new ways out of the situation besides the obvious ones. It is possible that you will be able to find a compromise solution that will benefit you in the long run, even if it does not quite fit the current conditions.

   • If you find it difficult to re-evaluate the situation and find an alternative solution, the easiest way is to talk to someone close to you. Get some advice. If you don't have anyone, think about your main goal (what you want to achieve). There is a problem on the way to the goal. Now think about the main function of the goal. Is there another way to achieve this goal? This may help you find another way to solve the problem.

5. Communicate, communicate, communicate. If your problem is somehow connected with other people, most of the issues can be resolved through conversations. Very often problems arise only because we do not know how to speak to others as we should be able to.

   • Let's say you're having relationship problems. The best thing to do is talk to your partner. Be open about your feelings and desires, and ask your partner to do the same. If a person does not talk to you, this will to some extent be the answer to your question.
   • Perhaps you have problems with your studies. Discuss them with your teacher or school psychologist. Whatever the problem, these people should have an idea of ​​how the situation can be corrected. You may think that they will be angry, judge you, or make things worse, but most likely, everything will be different. It is unlikely that you will tell them anything that will surprise them, since these people have quite a lot of experience in solving problems, and they will probably have something to tell you.

6. Find a mentor. When looking for a way out of a difficult situation, a spiritual mentor will be able to radically change your view of the problem. This could be a person, a website, a book that would help you with advice in your specific situation. Contacting a mentor will allow you to perceive everything that happens with optimism and change your attitude towards

   • For example, if something is not going well in your relationship with a friend, turn to your sister. Chances are she's faced similar problems in the past, so she'll be able to give you advice. She will also be happy to support you and reassure you.
   • Chatting on a forum will also work, so don't worry if you're not good at communicating with people in real life.

7. Look for a way out until you find it. An important principle of problem solving is to keep trying and not give up. You need to be persistent because without it you will often fail. We don't recommend using the same approach over and over again - rather, you need to find new ways to overcome difficulties. All problems can be solved; all situations can be improved for the better if you are open to all possibilities.

   • Often the solution to a problem is to accept the inevitable. Let's say you found chronic illness. There is no point in fighting a disease in order to completely get rid of it, because this is not the case when persistence will lead to what you want. The solution is to find people like you and communicate with them so that you can understand what is important to you and learn to appreciate the good things in your life.

   Part 2

   Changing attitude to the problem

   1. Understand that this too will pass. In front of you a big problem, and now you need to do something with it. How are you coping? How do you feel under these conditions? It is important to understand that time passes and everything changes. Always. The only thing that doesn’t change is the sun, which rises above the horizon every morning. No matter what you are faced with and no matter how scary it all seems, it is important to remember that you will not always worry about it. Your problem will not stay with you forever. Your life will change and you will find a new way to live. Keep telling yourself that this too shall pass.

      • Let's say the guy you dated since you were young left you. You will feel very bad and it will seem like you will never feel joy again and will never find someone you love as much. You may decide that you will never be able to meet anyone. But time will pass, you will be having fun at the party, and then the door will open and your magical prince will enter. He will be cheerful, charming, and he will think that you are the most adorable creature on earth. This will definitely happen. You just need to be patient and wait.

   2. Remind yourself of the good things you have. When something unpleasant happens or when we feel stressed, we forget about the wonderful things we have in life. No matter how bad you feel, the world is amazing and beautiful. Think about what you have. Do what you enjoy as much as possible and tell the people who love you how important they are to you. This will not only help you stay sane during difficult times, but will also help you find a way to cope with difficulties.

      • People sometimes have a hard time seeing the good. Don't let this happen to you. Don't have a soulmate? But there are friends and family. No friends or relatives? But there is an opportunity to make friends and gain new experiences in life. There are always opportunities waiting for you to come and take advantage of them.

   3. Know how to adapt to circumstances. No matter what you are faced with, learning to adapt will help you get through. Imagine that you are a tree that has fallen into a river. You can try to go against the flow, but this way you will be fighting the flow and bumping into all the rocks along the way. If you go with the flow, changing direction with the flow, you will smoothly reach a calm place.

      Find meaning in your life. If you have a goal or just something important, it will be easier for you to deal with difficulties. You will have something to strive for, something to want and something to hope for. There are many ways to achieve this. You can come up with a goal (for example, you want to buy a house in five years); you can get carried away by religion and begin to see your purpose in it; You can become a volunteer and help others. Choose what will be effective in your case.

      • If you don't see meaning in anything, finding that meaning can be difficult. As in the case of others life situations, the best thing to do is just try. Once you find your passion, you will feel it. Just be open to all possibilities and don't close yourself off.

   4. Challenge yourself. Managing stress takes experience. It will be much easier for you to solve problems if you do this regularly. If you always hide from life and avoid difficulties, you will never know what you are capable of. Let difficulties happen. Take risks with big rewards. You will realize that you can do much more than you think.

      • The process is similar to riding a bicycle: you have to figure out how to ride it, and you'll probably get a few bumps along the way, but each attempt will teach you how to balance. If every time you fell off your bike you put off learning for a couple of years, you would never learn to ride.

   5. Be grateful for difficulties. When faced with difficulties, thank fate for them. Each problem will help you understand yourself better. Each new character trait will become a part of you, and that person will be an amazing person. You are beautiful and unique, and it is your hardships that make you that way. It may be hard for you right now, but remember that even if you are upset and worried about something, all these problems will make you stronger.

   6. Believe in yourself. When faced with difficulties, it is important not to lose faith in yourself. If you doubt yourself, you will fail. You will not accept right decisions. But you need the right decisions! A lack of self-belief can also have a significant impact on what lesson you learn from a situation. Either you believe in yourself and try to draw positive conclusions from the situation, or you do not believe in yourself and consider everything that happens to be a negative experience, because you perceive it as a failure on your part. What do you like best?

      • Sometimes life turns out to be so cruel that we don't want to believe in ourselves. But don't let what's happening dampen your morale. You are strong! Look how much you have already accomplished. You are able to cope with the problem with dignity. Believe in yourself, be proud of yourself, don't give up and don't forget how wonderful you are.
   • Realize that you are most likely not the cause of a certain negative situation (such as death or job loss).
   • Understand that not all negative situations are directed at you (or only you). The reasons can be very different, and they all lead to problems. Don’t overthink things when discussing why something went the way it did.

   Warnings

   • If you need help with the steps above, talk to a counselor or a close friend, colleague, or anyone else you trust. Make sure you make progress and follow the right path.

Living life is not a field to cross. Along your journey, you will encounter losses, the loss of loved ones and friends, and experience physical and emotional pain. However, if you change your way of thinking, be ready for changes, develop positive attitude and realize the importance of relationships with people, then you will not only you will live life, but you can achieve success.

Steps

Embrace change

Accept the inevitability of change. There is nothing more constant than change. Seasons, weather, trends, technologies - you continue the list. Everything is constantly changing. It is important to understand that nothing lasts forever. If you are facing difficult times, they will not last forever. On the other hand, if your life is wonderful now, then learn to enjoy it, but remember that joy will also be replaced by trials.

Expectations must be realistic. If your expectations are high and unrealistic, then the result will always disappoint you. If you force yourself into rigid boundaries, then you will have no room for growth and change. Having reasonable expectations allows you to increase your self-esteem and prepare for what the day has in store.

Learn from experience. Experiential experience is gained through action, exploration and discovery. Give a lecture to students and they will probably forget it. Actively explain the subject to them and they may remember it. But if you get them to participate and have experience interacting with the thing, they can learn. In education, students engage in experiential learning through the following six steps. They can also be used in everyday life.

• Experience/explore – in this case, this step means “living” and gaining experience.
• Discussion/reflection – discuss your reactions and observations about specific events in your life with friends or a psychologist, write them down in a diary. Think about what happened and what you were able to learn.
• Thinking/Analyzing – Determine what was important about this life experience. What problems have you encountered? How did you solve them? What recurring motifs were present?
• Generalization – find connections between experiences and events to identify trends. You must realize all the observed principles of real life.
• Application – Decide how to apply the lessons learned to similar or different situations.

1. Live in the moment. There is no need to constantly think about the future and dwell on the past so as not to miss the present moment.

   Identify negative thoughts. Optimism requires you to change your thoughts. To think positively, you need to identify negative self-talk.

   Fight unhelpful thoughts. Negative beliefs rob you of hope. Once you examine them under a microscope, you will realize that such thoughts are not very rational. Ask the following questions out loud for each negative thought on your list:

   • How reasonable is it to believe in this belief? The future is impossible to predict, so no one can say that there will always be one.
   • Do you have evidence that such thoughts are false? Have you already loved someone in the past?
   • Do you have evidence of the veracity of such thoughts? Again, the future is a mystery.
   • What is the worst outcome of this “negative” development? You will be left alone.
   • What is positive about such a “negative” development of events? You can learn to love yourself and follow your heart.

2. Positive judgments. Affirmative statements are positive and useful statements that describe a goal and are repeated in order to burn into the subconscious. Take your folded piece of paper and on the right side write down the judgments that turn each negative and limiting thought into positive, transformative beliefs. Repeat these affirmations regularly.

   • “My life is terrible” becomes: “I have a difficult period, but trials will make me stronger.”
   • “I’ll always be alone” becomes “I’m lonely now, but I won’t always be.”

3. Learn to be grateful. Learning to be grateful will help you develop a positive outlook on life. Notice the good, don't dwell on the bad. Grateful people feel better, have a healthy psyche, high level empathy and low level aggression, high self-esteem, sleep better and make friends more often. Show appreciation in the following ways:

   • Write down your gratitude. Start keeping a gratitude journal.
   • Tell people how much you appreciate them.
   • Meditate and pay attention to the spirit of gratitude.

4. Change your worldview. Sometimes we are hit by a wave of life crises. It does not allow you to look at the situation objectively and find an acceptable solution. Instead, we are overwhelmed by the dramatic aspect of events. Try to make an effort and look at your life from an outside perspective.

   • Imagine that the events that are happening to you are happening to your employee or close friend. What would you advise him in this situation? Do you have negative thoughts or high expectations about this?

Build relationships with people

1. Surround yourself with positive people. This will allow you to always be on a positive wave. More importantly, despite any trials in life, the strong support of such people will become your support and hope. Communicating with optimists increases your chances of living a happy and successful life.

   • Look for people who have a positive influence on you. Such people know how to be grateful and try to find joy in every day.
   • End relationships or distance yourself from people with negative influence on you. Such people are fixated on problems and difficulties. They rarely smile or laugh, and their mood can be transmitted to others.

2. Develop spirituality. If you believe that there is a reason for your life, a higher purpose, then spiritual development will help you in difficult times.

3. Help others. Intimacy with people can have positive consequences for all parties if it is based on compassion. By helping others, we become more satisfied with our lives, develop a sense of purpose, strengthen self-confidence, reduce stress and improve our mood.

   • Don't know how to help others? Here are some ideas: Offer to babysit your neighbors so they can go on a date; teach your nephew to play musical instrument; offer your help at a soup kitchen; donate your toys to children at the shelter.

4. Don't hesitate to ask for help. Cope with life's difficulties It’s easier when you know how to ask for and accept help. Asking others for help will strengthen your connection with those people and help them feel useful. We often mistakenly believe that asking for help makes us weak. We also often underestimate the desire of others to come to our aid.

   • Think about what things you could use help with.
   • Think back to times in the past when friends offered to help you.
   • Compare these two points. For example, if one of your friends loves to bake, you can ask her to help organize a party. Surely she will be happy with such a request.
   • Finally, be direct. Requests for help often go unnoticed if expressed too vaguely. For example, you are much more likely to get help if you ask, “Can you take the kids to practice on Saturday?” instead of the wording “Could you help me with the children sometimes?”