There are five main known interpersonal styles conflict resolution:
Evasion. This style is characterized by implying that a person is trying to escape conflict. One of the ways to resolve a conflict is not to get into situations that provoke the emergence of contradictions, not to enter into a discussion of issues that are fraught with disagreement. Then you won’t have to get into an excited state, even if you are trying to solve a problem.
Smoothing. This style is characterized by behavior that is dictated by the belief that there is no point in getting angry because “we are all one happy team and we should not rock the boat.” The “smoother” tries not to let out signs of conflict and bitterness, appealing to the need for solidarity. Unfortunately, they completely forget about the problem underlying the conflict. You can extinguish the desire for conflict in another person by repeating: “This has no of great importance. Think about the good that has manifested itself here today.” The result may be peace, harmony and warmth, but the problem will remain. There is no longer any possibility of expressing emotions, but they live inside and accumulate. General anxiety becomes apparent, and the likelihood that an explosion will eventually occur increases.
Compulsion. Within this style, attempts to force people to accept their point of view at any cost prevail. The one who tries to do this is not interested in the opinions of others. A person using this style tends to be aggressive and usually uses power through coercion to influence others. The conflict can be taken under control by showing that you have the strongest power, suppressing your opponent, wresting a concession from him by right of superior. This coercive style can be effective in situations where the leader has significant power over subordinates.
The disadvantage of this style is that... that it suppresses the initiative of subordinates, creates a high probability that not all important factors will be taken into account, since only one point of view is presented. It can cause resentment, especially among younger and more educated staff.
Compromise. This style is characterized by accepting the other party's point of view, but only to some extent. The ability to compromise is highly valued in management situations, as it minimizes ill will and often allows conflict to be resolved quickly to the satisfaction of both parties. However, using a compromise on early stage conflict arising from important decision may interfere with the diagnosis of the problem and reduce the time it takes to find an alternative. Such a compromise means agreeing only to avoid a quarrel, even if this involves a failure to act prudently. This trade-off is one of being satisfied with what is available rather than persistently seeking what is logical in light of the available facts and data.
Solution to the problem. This style is an acknowledgment of differences of opinion and a willingness to engage with other points of view in order to understand the causes of the conflict and find a course of action acceptable to all parties. Anyone who uses this style does not try to achieve his goal at the expense of others, but rather looks for the best solution to a conflict situation. Differences in views are seen as an inevitable result of the fact that smart people have their own ideas about what is right and what is wrong. Emotions can only be eliminated through direct dialogues with a person different from your gaze.
Deep analysis and resolution of conflict is possible, only this requires maturity and the art of working with people... Such constructiveness in resolving conflict (by solving the problem) helps to create an atmosphere of sincerity, so necessary for the success of the individual and the company as a whole.
It is known from research that high-performing companies used a problem-solving style more than low-performing companies in conflict situations. In these high-performing organizations, leaders openly discussed their differences of opinion, without emphasizing the differences, but without pretending that they did not exist.
Some suggestions for using this style of conflict resolution:
2. Once the problem is identified, identify solutions that are acceptable to both parties.
3. Focus on the issue, not the other party's personal qualities.
4. Create an atmosphere of trust by increasing mutual influence and information sharing.
5. During communication, create a positive attitude towards each other by showing sympathy and listening to the other party's opinion, and minimizing the expression of anger and threats.
Example of a conflict situation
The staff includes both men and women, different ages. At the next meeting of the establishment's managers, it was decided to hire a second administrator of the hall into its staff. During the meeting, the current administrator was absent for some reason and was not aware of this decision. The next day, management began selection for new position, and reported this to the administrator. The latter's reaction was to act out a quarrel with the manager. His opinion contradicted the management's opinion about the need for a second vacant position.
The conflict has taken a new turn; Our staff began to complain about the unpleasant psychological atmosphere at work.
As a result of misunderstanding and conflict, the administrator resigned. Leaving behind the last word in the biased attitude of management towards him.
Let's start with:
The basis or basis for the above proposed conflict was that the management of the establishment was clearly not satisfied with the work of the existing administrator of the hall, and the current situation provoked a conflict that had previously been brewing between them.
The object of the conflict is the opinion of the administrator’s personal superiority and authority among the staff.
The subject of this conflict is the impossibility of reconciliation, since the conflict was already mature.
The parties to the conflict are management and subordinates.
The social position of the subjects is different social position.
The environment - a cafe, an entertainment establishment, a friendly staff, however, of course, takes place, as well as responsible work with staff, which requires high professionalism and qualifications.
A conflict incident is when the conflict becomes visible to the entire team.
The outcome of a conflict situation is the departure of the dissenting party and accusations of incompetence on the management.
In my opinion, in this situation it would be perfect better strategy cooperation aimed at constructive resolution of the conflict, that is, working with the problem, not the conflict. Employees should first acknowledge the conflict (emphasizing common ground for interaction, which can even be a single desire to find a way out of the current situation together), secondly, putting aside emotions, openly discuss your interests and positions on this issue, and thirdly, find a joint solution to the problem and alternative ways out of the conflict, transferring it into a peaceful, constructive channel.
Conclusion: I think the solution to the existing conflict is real, because management should have initial stage conflict, resolve relations with the administrator. But since it missed this situation, a serious conflict occurred that affected everyone around.
Unfortunately, people are not always able to resolve all disputes and misunderstandings peacefully. Very often, interpersonal conflict arises completely out of nowhere. What is the reason and why does this happen? What are the resolution methods? interpersonal conflicts? Is it possible to avoid them and live your whole life without conflict with anyone?
What is conflict?
Conflict is one of the ways to resolve problems and contradictions that arise as a result of interaction between individuals or groups of people. At the same time, he is accompanied negative emotions and behavior that goes beyond the norms accepted in society.
During a conflict, each side takes and defends an opposing position towards each other. None of the opponents wants to understand and accept the opponent’s opinion. The conflicting parties can be not only individuals, but also public groups and states.
Interpersonal conflict and its features
If the interests and goals of two or more people in a particular case diverge, and each side tries to resolve the dispute in its own favor, interpersonal conflict arises. An example of such a situation is a quarrel between husband and wife, child and parent, subordinate and boss. This one is the most common and most frequently occurring.
Interpersonal conflict can occur both between people who know each other well and constantly communicate, and between those who see each other for the first time. In this case, the relationship is clarified by the opponents face to face, through a personal dispute or discussion.
Stages of interpersonal conflict
A conflict is not just a dispute between two participants that arises spontaneously and unexpectedly. This is a process consisting of several stages, gradually developing and gaining strength. The causes of interpersonal conflicts can sometimes accumulate quite long time before they erupt into open confrontation.
At the first stage, the conflict is hidden. At this time, conflicting interests and views are just maturing and forming. At the same time, both parties to the conflict believe that their problem can be solved through negotiations and discussions.
At the second stage of the conflict, the parties realize that it will not be possible to overcome their differences peacefully. So-called tension arises, which increases and gains power.
The third stage is characterized by the beginning of active actions: disputes, threats, insults, dissemination of negative information about the enemy, search for allies and like-minded people. At the same time, mutual hostility, hatred, and bitterness accumulate between the participants.
The fourth stage is the process of resolving interpersonal conflicts. It may end in reconciliation between the parties or a break in relations.
Types of interpersonal conflicts
There are many classifications of interpersonal conflicts. They are divided according to severity, duration, scale, form of manifestation, and expected consequences. Most often, types of interpersonal conflicts differ according to the reasons for their occurrence.
The most common is a conflict of interest. It occurs when people have opposing plans, goals, and intentions. An example is the following situation: two friends cannot agree on how to spend their time. The first one wants to go to the cinema, the second one just wants to take a walk. If neither of them wants to make concessions to the other, and an agreement cannot be reached, a conflict of interest may arise.
The second type is value conflicts. They can arise in cases where participants have different moral, ideological, and religious ideas. A striking example This type of confrontation is a generational conflict.
Role conflicts are the third type of interpersonal confrontation. In this case, the cause is violations of habitual norms of behavior and rules. Such conflicts can occur, for example, in an organization when new employee refuses to accept the rules established by the team.
Causes of interpersonal conflicts
Among the reasons that provoke conflicts, the first place stands. This could be, for example, one TV or computer for the whole family, a certain amount of money for bonuses that needs to be divided among all employees of the department. In this case, one person can achieve his goal only by infringing on another.
The second reason for the development of conflicts is interdependence. This may be a connection of tasks, authorities, responsibilities and other resources. Thus, in an organization, project participants may begin to blame each other if for some reason it was not possible to implement it.
Conflicts can be provoked by differences between people in goals, views, ideas about certain things, and manners of behavior and communication. In addition, the cause of confrontation can be a person’s personal characteristics.
Interpersonal conflicts in the organization
Almost all people spend most of their time at work. During the performance of duties, disputes and contradictions often arise between employees. Conflicts in interpersonal relationships that occur in organizations very often slow down the company’s activities and worsen the overall result.
Conflicts in organizations can occur both between employees occupying the same position and between subordinates and superiors. The reasons for the emergence of contradictions may be different. This includes shifting responsibilities to each other, and a feeling of unfair treatment from management, and the dependence of employees’ results on each other.
Conflict in an organization can be provoked not only by disagreements about work issues, but also by problems in communication between colleagues. Most often, confrontation can be resolved by employees themselves through negotiations. Sometimes the management of interpersonal conflicts is taken over by the head of the organization, he finds out the reasons and tries to resolve the problems that have arisen. It happens that the matter may end with the dismissal of one of the conflicting parties.
Interpersonal conflicts between spouses
Family life involves constantly solving all kinds of everyday problems. Very often, spouses cannot find agreement on certain issues, resulting in interpersonal conflict. An example of this: the husband returned from work too late, the wife did not have time to cook dinner, the husband scattered dirty socks around the apartment.
Material problems significantly aggravate conflicts. Many domestic quarrels could be avoided if every family had enough resources. The husband doesn’t want to help his wife wash the dishes - let’s buy a dishwasher, there is an argument over what channel we will watch - no problem, let’s get another TV. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford this.
Each family chooses its own strategy for resolving interpersonal conflicts. Some people quickly give in and seek reconciliation; others can live in a state of quarrel for a long time and not talk to each other. It is very important that discontent does not accumulate, that spouses find a compromise, and that all problems are resolved as quickly as possible.
Interpersonal conflicts between people of different generations
The conflict between “fathers and sons” can be viewed in a broad and in the narrow sense. In the first case, it occurs within an individual family, while in the second it is projected onto the entire society as a whole. This problem has existed at all times; it is not new to our century.
Generational conflict occurs due to differences in views, worldviews, norms and values between young people and older people. However, this difference does not necessarily provoke conflict. The reason for the struggle between generations is the unwillingness to understand and respect each other's interests.
The main features of interpersonal conflicts between generations are that they are much longer in nature and do not develop in certain stages. They may periodically subside and flare up again with renewed vigor in the event of a sharp infringement of the interests of the parties.
To ensure that your family is not affected by generational conflict, you must constantly show respect and patience to each other. Old people should often remember that they were once young and did not want to listen to advice, and young people should not forget that after many years they will also become elderly.
Is it possible to live your whole life without conflict with anyone?
Few people like constant swearing and quarrels. Many people would dream of living without ever having conflict with anyone. However, in our society this is this moment impossible.
Starting from early childhood, a person conflicts with others. For example, the kids did not share the toys, the child does not obey the parents. In adolescence, generational conflict often comes first.
Throughout our lives, we have to periodically defend our interests and prove that we are right. At the same time, it is impossible to do without conflicts. All we can do is reduce the number of conflicts to a minimum, try not to succumb to provocations and avoid quarrels without good reason.
Rules of behavior in a conflict situation
When a conflict arises, both participants want to resolve it as quickly as possible, while achieving their goals and getting what they want. How should you behave in this situation in order to come out of it with dignity?
First, you need to learn to separate your attitude towards the person with whom you have a disagreement from the problem itself that needs to be solved. Don’t start insulting your opponent or getting personal, try to behave with restraint and calm. Give reasons for all your arguments, try to put yourself in your opponent’s place and invite him to take your place.
If you notice that you are starting to lose your temper, invite your interlocutor to take a break to calm down and cool down a little, and then continue to sort things out. To solve a problem as quickly as possible, you need to see a specific goal and focus on ways to achieve it. It is important to remember that in any conflict situation it is necessary, first of all, to maintain relations with the opponent.
Ways to get out of a conflict situation
The best way out is for the warring parties to find a compromise. In this case, the parties make a decision that suits all parties to the dispute. There are no remaining agreements or misunderstandings between the conflicting parties.
However, not in all cases it is possible to reach a compromise. Very often the outcome of a conflict is coercion. This option for resolving the conflict is most typical if one of the participants occupies a dominant position. For example, a leader forces a subordinate to do as he pleases, or a parent tells his child to do as he sees fit.
To prevent the conflict from gaining momentum, you can try to smooth it out. In this case, the person who is accused of something agrees with the reproaches and claims, and tries to explain the reason for his actions and actions. Using this method of getting out of a dispute does not mean that the essence of the conflict is understood and the mistakes are realized. It’s just that at the moment the accused does not want to enter into conflict.
Admitting your mistakes and repenting for what you have done is another way to resolve interpersonal conflict. An example of such a situation: a child regrets that he did not prepare his homework and received a bad grade, and promises his parents to continue to do his homework.
How to prevent interpersonal conflicts
Every person should always remember that it is better to prevent absolutely any dispute than to later deal with its consequences and repair damaged relationships. What is the prevention of interpersonal conflicts?
First, you need to limit your communication as much as possible with potentially arrogant, aggressive, secretive individuals. If it is not possible to completely stop communicating with such people, try to ignore their provocations and always remain calm.
To prevent conflict situations, you need to learn to negotiate with your interlocutor, try to find an approach to any person, treat your opponent with respect and clearly formulate your positions.
In what situations should you not conflict?
Before entering into conflict, you need to think carefully about whether you really need it. Very often people start to sort things out in cases where it makes no sense at all.
If your interests are not directly affected, and during the dispute you will not achieve your goals, most likely there is no point in entering into an interpersonal conflict. An example of a similar situation: on a bus, the conductor starts arguing with a passenger. Even if you support the position of one of the disputants, you should not get involved in their conflict without a good reason.
If you see that your opponent’s level is radically different from yours, there is no point in entering into an argument or discussion with such people. You'll never prove stupid person your rightness.
Before getting involved in a conflict, you need to evaluate the pros and cons, think about what consequences it could lead to, how your relationship with your opponent will change, and whether you want this, how likely it is that during the dispute you will be able to achieve your goals. You also need to pay great attention to your emotions at the moment of threat of a quarrel. It may be worth using tactics to avoid the conflict, cool down a little and think carefully about the current situation.
We live in a society, so common phenomenon, which occurs almost every day, is a conflict.
A conflict that involves at least two participants is interpersonal. We will look at examples and ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts in the article.
What are the pros and cons of conflict? Find out about this from ours.
Psychology and concept
What is interpersonal conflict?
Interpersonal conflict is conflict between individuals during their psychological or social interaction.
Typically, these involve an exchange of accusations.
During an interpersonal conflict the parties absolve themselves of all blame, shifting responsibility to the partner with whom the conflict occurs.
This does not solve the situation, since the accusation itself fuels the conflict, and it flares up with even greater force.
Examples from history, literature, life
Interpersonal conflicts haunting humanity from its origins. The Bible also tells about two brothers Cain and Abel. Cain was jealous of his brother and killed him.
Causes
The most common cause of interpersonal conflict is the intersection of the interests of one individual with the interests of another. The most common situation: one person on the bus is hot, he tries to open the window, but for the other the wind is blowing strongly from the window, and a conflict occurs between personalities.
Of course, this situation could be stopped immediately if people could listen to each other and compromise. For example, ask someone to change seats, do everything calmly without mutual accusations.
Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to admit guilt, It's easiest to blame someone.
People often conflict over resources when there is not enough for everyone.
When people find themselves in difficult conditions ( lack of resources for life), they can descend to the level of savages.
In everyday life, a lack of something also often manifests itself. For example, in a prestigious job there is competition for several people in place. It is very likely that a conflict will arise on this basis.
Also the cause of the conflict is human intolerance: to the opinions of others (even if it does not concern anyone personally), appearance or behavior. One person may be quite active in communication, but this is unacceptable to other people.
Differences in cultural values also provoke conflicts. This is especially common in families where the values of one generation diverge from the values of another.
At work, people often have conflicts over differences in social status. The boss can order something to be done that, in the employee’s opinion, is incorrect.
If two workers have different ideas about the goal of the team, there will be a conflict on everyday grounds, because everyone sees their own path to the goal.
About the causes of interpersonal conflicts in this video:
Classification: types and types
Can emit motivational conflicts, which affect the plans of the participants.
For example, in a family there are different views on raising a child, on his future, the husband or wife is against how the spouse spends money.
The boss, for example, can cancel an employee’s vacation by transferring him to another term. If interests are incompatible, then this can lead to dramatic developments.
It becomes difficult to come to an agreement, for example, if there is only one TV in the family, the wife’s favorite series is on one channel, and the decisive match of the husband’s favorite team is on the other. It becomes impossible to combine interests, and if conflict occurs frequently, the marriage will fall apart.
Exist cognitive conflicts when two participants have diametrically opposite value systems. The value system reflects what is most important for a person at the moment.
If we are talking about work, then a person decides whether his work will be only a source of money or a path to self-realization.
Conflict may arise if spouses different ideas about family goals. The entire value system includes all those attitudes that are the most important (for example, philosophical and religious).
Of course, it is not necessary that people will conflict if they have different values.
But a conflict will definitely happen if one of the individuals encroaches on the values of the other and doubts their importance.
If two people have opposite views on things, then it is possible that when trying to change another person conflicts will occur. This also applies to those situations when people tend to re-educate adults, change their views and habits.
Role conflict occurs when one or both parties to a conflict neglect the rules of behavior and communication. This could be a violation of etiquette (although no one talks about it, but it goes without saying in society) or a violation of a contract in business.
This can lead to claims and mutual reproaches. People can break the rules of behavior, since we are not yet familiar with them in the new team.
If a person deliberately violates the rules of behavior, this may indicate that he does not like the current situation and wants to reconsider it.
Often a child in adolescence begins to be rude to his parents. This may be a consequence of the fact that he I do not agree with the existing rules.
Peculiarities
The first side of an interpersonal conflict is object of dispute.
The second side is the psychological part (the level of intelligence of the participants, upbringing).
Exactly this distinguishes interpersonal conflicts from political ones.
This makes conflicts between individuals so different and different from each other. People are drawn into the conflict completely, showing all their characteristics in it.
Quite often, the psychological side obscures the subject of the dispute, it becomes less important, everything turns into mutual reproaches. In conflict neither one of the parties does not try to understand the opposite, transferring all responsibility to the opponent, removing it from himself.
Spheres of Manifestation
Areas of manifestation of conflicts are most often divided into 3 areas: family, work team and society.
They go along the lines of spouse-husband, spouses-children, spouses-relatives. Possibly defiant behavior by one of the parties.
Often in family conflicts there is a material side and mutual reproaches in lack of funds. There may also be restrictions on freedom and attempts to control one of the spouses. There may be sexual problems in relationships with spouses.
IN work teams conflicts go along the lines of superior-subordinate, employee-employee, worker, non-worker.
Conflicts may arise due to disagreement in the distribution of resources and responsibilities.
There is also psychological side, where an employee or boss clarifies interpersonal relationships, culture of behavior, and etiquette.
In society, conflicts most often arise along the lines of person-person, person-society. Most common cause is insufficient culture of behavior separate individuals.
How it arises: development mechanism
Every person have their own interests and aspirations. If, in the process of achieving a goal, another person gets in the way, then a conflict will arise. There is a break in the connection between the individual, since consciousness immediately analyzes it as an obstacle to the goal.
If the relationship is more important than the goal, then the conflict can be resolved. If the goal is more important, then the confrontation will heat up.
In a conflict, a person will try to prove that he is right, present a mountain of arguments and devalue the arguments of the other side.
Conflict is filled with emotions, and not every person can control them. The parties to the conflict are skeptical about any compromises, believing that their decision is the only correct one. Internal installations exacerbate the conflict, and it flares up even more.
How does interpersonal conflict arise? Find out from the video:
Which positive features are there any characters? you will find on our website.
How to behave?
First of all, in a conflict, you need to assess who is in front of you.
If random person from the street who scolds you, then you can just walk away from the conflict.
For example, you accidentally stepped on your foot, all you need to do is apologize.
If a person is close to you, and he has some specific complaints, then you need to listen and offer your solution. But for this it is necessary that the person is in calm state, because excited people often do not want to listen to other people’s arguments.
If a person offers some kind of solution, does not agree to a compromise even in a calm state, then here you will be offered 2 options for the development of events.
In the first option, you agree with the person and accept his reasons; in the second option, you will have to say that his proposal is unacceptable and you will have to stop touching on this issue or even end the relationship.
Ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts in this video:
Methods of resolution and principles of overcoming
As famous psychologists said, “We fish with a worm, although we ourselves love strawberries.” So that the opposite side of the conflict goes to resolve it, you need to give her what she wants, and at the same time, promote your point of view.
One of the principles of overcoming interpersonal conflict is not personal communication, but correspondence, fortunately, modern means connections allow this to happen. Offer more and listen more. Try to ask your partner questions about how he sees a way out of the conflict.
If you prove your partner's arguments wrong, your conflict may from business to psychological. The person will simply refuse to accept that you are right; he will defend his point of view out of principle, even realizing that he is wrong.
How to change your character? you will find on our website.
Prevention methods
Prevention is observance of rules of decency, etiquette.
You need to behave politely with everyone so as not to give rise to irritation.
In work you need maintain subordination, strictly fulfill your duties.
You should never express harsh criticism, even if you think you are right. You should never conflict in a raised voice; it is better to walk away from the conflict and continue to clarify the subject of the dispute in a calm atmosphere.
Also good prevention is the choice suitable partners in communication and family life.
After all, it is quite difficult to conflict with someone who not inclined to sort things out, and makes all business decisions with a cool head.
Although interpersonal conflicts have haunted us all our lives from the beginning, we hope that you will be able to resolve them constructively and without serious consequences.
How to avoid conflicts? Example:
4.1. Interpersonal conflicts
Interpersonal conflicts can be considered as a clash of personalities in the process of their relationships. Such clashes can occur in various spheres and areas (economic, political, industrial, sociocultural, everyday, etc.). The reasons for such clashes are infinitely diverse (from a convenient seat in public transport to the presidential seat in government agencies). As in others social conflicts, here we can talk about objectively and subjectively incompatible or opposing (mutually exclusive) interests, needs, goals, values, attitudes, perceptions, assessments, opinions, modes of behavior, etc.
Objective factors create the potential for conflict to arise. For example, a vacant position for a department head may become a cause of conflict between two employees if both are applying for this position. The social (impersonal) relations between potential participants in the conflict, for example, their status and role positions, can also be considered conditionally objective.
Subjective factors in interpersonal conflict are formed on the basis of individual (socio-psychological, physiological, ideological, etc.) characteristics of individuals. These factors largely determine the dynamics of the development and resolution of interpersonal conflict and its consequences.
Interpersonal conflicts arise both between people meeting for the first time and between people who are constantly communicating. In both cases, the personal perception of the partner or opponent plays an important role in the relationship. The process of interpersonal perception has a complex structure. In social psychology, the process of reflection involves at least three positions that characterize the mutual reflection of subjects:
1) the subject himself, as he really is;
2) the subject, how he sees himself;
3) the subject as he appears to another.
In the relationship between subjects, we have the same three positions on the part of the other subject of reflection. The result is a process of double, mirror mutual reflection of each other by the subjects (Fig. 1).
A scheme of interaction between subjects, similar in structure to the reflexive one, but slightly different in content, was proposed by the American psychotherapist Eric Berne (Fig. 2).
In this scheme, the basis of the conflict is the different states of the subjects of interaction, and the “provocation” of the conflict is intersecting transactions. Combinations “a” and “b” are conflicting. In combination “c”, one of the subjects of interaction clearly dominates the other or occupies the position of a patron, the other subject is content with the role of a “child”. In this combination, conflicts do not arise due to the fact that both subjects take their positions for granted. The most productive position in human communication is the “g” position (B*^B). This is communication between equal people, without infringing on the dignity of either party.
Already established stereotypes often interfere with the adequate perception of a person by others. For example, a person has a preconceived idea of an official as a soulless bureaucrat, a red tape worker, etc. In turn, the official may also form a negative image of a petitioner who is undeservedly seeking special benefits for himself. In communication, these individuals will not interact real people, and stereotypes are simplified images of certain social types. Stereotypes develop in conditions of a lack of information, like generalizations personal experience and preconceived notions accepted in society or in a particular social environment. Examples of stereotypes can be statements like: “all salesmen...”, “all men...”, “all women...”, etc.
A formed, possibly false, image of another can seriously deform the process of interpersonal interaction and contribute to the emergence of conflict.
An obstacle to finding agreement between individuals can be a negative attitude formed by one opponent towards another. Attitude is the readiness, predisposition of a subject to act in a certain way. This is a certain direction of the manifestation of the psyche and behavior of the subject, readiness to perceive future events. It is formed under the influence of rumors, opinions, judgments about a given individual (group, phenomenon, etc.). For example, an entrepreneur has previously arranged a meeting with his colleague from another company to conclude an important business agreement. In preparation for the meeting, he heard from third parties negative reviews about the business and ethical qualities of the proposed partner. Based on these reviews, the entrepreneur has formed a negative attitude and the meeting may either not take place or not produce the expected results.
In conflict situations, a negative attitude deepens the rift between opponents and makes it difficult to resolve and resolve interpersonal conflicts.
Often the causes of interpersonal conflicts are misunderstandings (misunderstanding of one person by another). This occurs due to different ideas about the subject, fact, phenomenon, etc. “We often expect,” writes Maxwell Moltz, “that others will react to the same facts or circumstances in the same way as we do, doing the same the very conclusions. We forget that a person does not react to real facts, but on your ideas about them.” People have different ideas, sometimes diametrically opposed, and this fact must be accepted as a completely natural phenomenon, not conflict, but try to understand others.
When interacting with people, a person protects, first of all, his personal interests and this is quite normal. The conflicts that arise are a reaction to obstacles to achieving goals. And how significant the subject of the conflict seems to be for a particular individual will largely depend on his conflict setting– predisposition and readiness to act in a certain way in a perceived conflict. It includes the goals, expectations and emotional orientation of the parties.
Play an important role in interpersonal interaction individual qualities opponents, their personal self-esteem, self-reflection, individual threshold of tolerance, aggressiveness (passivity), type of behavior, sociocultural differences, etc. There are concepts interpersonal compatibility and interpersonal incompatibility. Compatibility presupposes mutual acceptance of communication partners and joint activities. Incompatibility is mutual rejection (antipathy) of partners, based on the discrepancy (opposition) of social attitudes, value orientations, interests, motives, characters, temperaments, psychophysical reactions, individual psychological characteristics of the subjects of interaction.
Interpersonal incompatibility can cause emotional conflict (psychological antagonism), which is the most complex and difficult to resolve form of interpersonal confrontation.
In the development of interpersonal conflict, it is also necessary to take into account the influence of the social and socio-psychological environment. For example, conflicts between gentlemen in the presence of ladies can be especially cruel and uncompromising, since they affect the honor and dignity of opponents.
Individuals encounter interpersonal conflicts, defending not only their personal interests. They can also represent the interests of individual groups, institutions, organizations, labor collectives, and society as a whole. In such interpersonal conflicts, the intensity of the struggle and the possibility of finding compromises is largely determined by the conflict attitudes of those social groups, whose representatives are opponents.
Options for the outcome of interpersonal conflict
All causes of interpersonal conflicts arising from clashes of goals and interests can be divided into three main types.
First– presupposes a fundamental clash in which the realization of the goals and interests of one opponent can be achieved only by infringing on the interests of the other.
Second– affects only the form of relations between people, but does not infringe on their spiritual, moral and material needs and interests.
Third– represents imaginary contradictions that can be provoked either by false (distorted) information or incorrect interpretation of events and facts.
Interpersonal conflicts can take the form of:
? rivalry– desire for dominance;
? spore– disagreements about the location the best option solving joint problems;
? discussions- discussion of a controversial issue.
Depending on the causes of the conflict and the methods of conflict behavior of opponents, interpersonal conflict can have the following types of outcome:
1) care from resolving a conflict when one of the parties does not seem to notice the contradictions that have arisen;
2) smoothing contradictions when one of the parties either agrees with the claims made against it (but only at the moment) or seeks to justify itself;
3) compromise– mutual concessions of both parties;
4) escalation of tension and the escalation of the conflict into an all-encompassing confrontation;
5) power option suppression of a conflict, when one or both parties are forced by force (threat of force) to accept one or another outcome of the conflict.
Prevention and resolution of interpersonal conflicts
If a conflict situation has arisen, then before “getting involved in a fight,” you need to seriously weigh all the possible pros and cons of the proposed conflict and ask a few questions:
Are there really contradictions that are worth fighting over?
Is it possible to solve the problems that have arisen in other ways without resorting to conflict?
Are there any guarantees that you will achieve the desired results in the upcoming conflict?
What will be the price of victory or defeat for you and your opponent?
What are possible consequences conflict?
How will the people around you react to the conflict?
It is advisable for your opponent in the proposed conflict to analyze the conflict situation that has arisen and possible ways of its development from the same perspective. A comprehensive analysis of the conflict situation helps to find mutually acceptable solutions, prevents open confrontation between the parties and helps not only to maintain normal relations between former opponents, but also to establish mutually beneficial cooperation between them.
You can also avoid conflict by avoiding direct contact with conflicting people, with someone who irritates you in some way, with those whom you irritate. There are different types of so-called difficult people, communication with whom is fraught with conflicts. Here are some of these types:
1) aggressiveists - they bully others and become irritated if they are not listened to;
2) complainers - they always complain about something, but they themselves usually do nothing to solve the problem;
3) silent people - calm and laconic, but it is very difficult to find out what they are thinking about and what they want;
4) overly flexible - they agree with everyone and promise support, but such people’s words do not match their deeds;
5) eternal pessimists - they always foresee failures and believe that nothing will come of what they are planning;
6) know-it-alls - they consider themselves higher, smarter than others and demonstrate their superiority in every possible way;
7) indecisive – they hesitate to make a decision because they are afraid of making a mistake;
8) maximalists - they want something right now, even if it is not necessary;
9) hidden - they harbor grievances and unexpectedly attack their opponent;
10) innocent liars - mislead others with lies and deception;
11) false altruists - they supposedly do good, but “carry a stone in their bosom.”
If, due to certain circumstances, it is not possible to avoid communicating with difficult people, then an appropriate approach should be used in relationships with them. All these approaches, according to Jeanie Scott, are built on basic principles:
1. Realize that the person is difficult to communicate with and determine what type of person he is.
2. Do not fall under the influence of this person, his point of view, his attitude; remain calm and neutral.
3. If you do not want to avoid communicating with such a person, try to talk with him and identify the reasons for his difficulties.
4. Try to find a way to satisfy his hidden interests and needs.
5. Use a collaborative approach to resolving conflicts that arise after the difficult person's behavior has been categorized, neutralized, or controlled."
One of the methods of conflict prevention is self-distance from the conflict situation. In accordance with this method, you should avoid solving problems that do not affect your interests, and your participation in solving them is not conditional on anything. For example, someone is very irritated and emotionally agitated. You are trying to help this person with the best of intentions, although you were not asked to do so. As a result, you can get involved in someone else's conflict and become an object for a “volley release” of negative emotions.
If it was not possible to prevent an interpersonal conflict, then the problem of its settlement and resolution arises. One of the first steps in this direction is the fact of recognizing the contradictions that exist between individuals. There are times when one of the opponents is not yet in to the fullest realized the causes of problems. When both sides of the conflict are aware of the existence of contradictions, a frank conversation helps to more clearly define subject of dispute, outline boundaries of mutual claims, identify positions of the parties. All this opens up the next stage in the development of the conflict - the stage of a joint search for options for resolving it.
A joint search for a way out of a conflict situation also requires compliance with a number of conditions, for example:
Separate the real causes of the conflict from the incident - the formal reason for the start of the clash;
Focus on existing problems rather than on personal emotions;
Act according to the “here and now” principle, i.e. solve problems that directly caused this conflict, without remembering other controversial events and facts;
Create an environment of equal participation in the search possible options conflict resolution;
Speak only for yourself; be able to listen and hear others;
Maintain a respectful attitude towards the opponent’s personality, talk about facts and events, and not about the qualities of a particular person;
Create a climate of mutual trust and cooperation.
If negative tendencies predominate in an interpersonal conflict (mutual hostility, grievances, suspicions, mistrust, hostile moods, etc.) and opponents cannot or do not want to engage in dialogue, then the so-called indirect methods of resolving interpersonal conflict. Let's look at some of these methods.
1. Method« outlet for feelings" The opponent is given the opportunity to express everything that is painful to him, and thereby reduces the emotional and psychological tension provoked by the conflict. After this, the person is more predisposed to search for options for constructive resolution of the conflict situation.
2. Method« positive attitude towards the individual" The person in conflict, whether he is right or wrong, is always a sufferer. We must express our sympathies to him and give a positive description of his personal qualities: “You are an intelligent person, etc.” In an effort to justify the positive assessment addressed to him, the opponent will strive to find a constructive way to resolve the conflict.
3. Intervention method« authoritarian third" A person in an interpersonal conflict, as a rule, does not perceive the positive words expressed by his opponent towards him. A trusted “third party” can assist in such a matter. Thus, the conflicting person will know that his opponent does not have such a bad opinion of him, and this fact can be the beginning of a search for a compromise.
4. Reception« naked aggression" IN game form in the presence of a third person, opponents are allowed to “talk out the painful issues.”
In such conditions, the quarrel, as a rule, does not reach extreme forms and the tension in the relations between the opponents decreases.
5. Reception« forced hearing of the opponent" Those in conflict are required to listen carefully to each other. Moreover, everyone, before answering their opponent, must reproduce his last remark with a certain accuracy. This is quite difficult to do, since those in conflict hear only themselves, attributing words and tone to the opponent that actually did not exist. The opponents' bias towards each other becomes obvious and the intensity of tension in their relationship subsides.
6. Exchange of positions. Those in conflict are encouraged to express their claims from the position of their opponent. This technique allows them to “go beyond” their personal grievances, goals and interests and better understand their opponent.
7. Expanding the spiritual horizon of those disputing. This is an attempt to take those in conflict beyond the subjective perception of the conflict and help them see the situation as a whole, with all possible consequences.
An important stage on the path to resolving a conflict is the readiness to resolve it. Such readiness appears as a result of a reassessment of values, when one or both conflicting parties begin to realize the futility of continuing the confrontation. During this period, changes occur in attitudes towards the situation, towards the opponent and towards oneself. The conflict attitude also changes.
“The mere willingness to resolve a problem,” according to Helena Cornelius and Shoshana Fair, “does not mean that you are wrong. This means that you have given up your attempts to prove the other side wrong: you are ready to forget the past and start over."
Successful conflict resolution ultimately requires both parties to be willing to resolve it. But if such a desire is demonstrated by at least one side, then this will give more opportunities to the other side for a reciprocal step. In an interpersonal conflict, people seem to be mutually bound by mutual grievances, claims and other negative emotions. Taking the first step towards resolving a conflict is quite difficult: everyone believes that the other should give in. Therefore, the readiness to resolve the conflict shown by one of the parties can play a decisive role in resolving the conflict as a whole.
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