Almost everyone knows the meaning of this concept, but let's discuss it in more detail.
Each person, to some extent, wants to look better than others, to develop and improve themselves. This can be seen as the only motivation for self-development, and as a sign of unhealthy self-esteem. Usually, the desire to look good in front of society, to show their superiority or assert themselves at the expense of someone is called vanity. It arises when a person is lost in life, he does not know what to do, searches for the meaning of his existence, and if he does not find, then he is in a state of depression and dissatisfaction.
Definition: Vanity (from vain (vain) + glory) - the desire to look good in the eyes of others, the need to confirm one's superiority, sometimes accompanied by a desire to hear flattery from other people.
Most often, vanity is manifested when a person wants to reach certain heights, but realizes that he does not reach them. He feels that in this area his works are in vain, but because of his own cowardice, he does not seek to change anything in his life. He begins to convince himself and those around him that he takes his place in society and is looking for support in other people, deceiving himself first of all.
Good or bad
Considering vanity, on the one hand, we can say that it is the main tool that helps to find the path to the set goals. For example, if a person is praised deservedly, then he accepts the praise. She gives him confidence in his own abilities, allows him to discover new talents in himself and inspires him to move forward towards success.
The other side is the way to achieve the goal. If a person forgets about family, health and life values, then, apart from his own person, he will no longer be interested in anything. And such people practically do not have friends and acquaintances.
A conceited person is very dependent on the opinions of others. His opinion is the opinion of the majority. He tries by any means to attract the attention of the people around him to himself. A person forgets about the development of his spiritual and intellectual knowledge, vanity becomes his value.
Sometimes vain people take pleasure in being scorned or hated altogether. The main goal has been achieved - everyone's attention is directed to them.
Can you get rid of vanity?
If this problem is viewed globally, then in order to avoid excessive vanity, you need to be honest with yourself. It is honesty and timely tact that can bring the respect of everyone around you.
An equally important assistant in solving this problem is a real and true friend... Only he can give the right advice or turn your thoughts in the right direction. If it so happens that there is no such person, then the main principle of your life may be the phrase: "Be careful with those people who praise you. They can deceive you without even knowing about it."
In this case, one should be wary of frank and unfounded flattery. People may have various reasons to praise you. Maybe they themselves want to assert themselves from being overly interested in your person. Or they pursue certain goals (the desire to gain sympathy on your part or to win you over for some benefit, etc.). That is why they constantly praise you.
Another way to get rid of vanity is hard work. Start doing productive work, develop in your work area and forget about laziness. This is the only way you will cope with the current situation.
It should be remembered that a vain person in the eyes of the people around him looks very funny and pitiful. It is better to hold back the well-deserved praise and not look like a laughing stock in the eyes of others, than to allow momentary weakness and occupy not the most successful place in society.
What is vanity? Perhaps this is one of the qualities inherent in the human person? Or something more that is associated with success, honor, glory? Or maybe something that is fraught with danger and can lead to the loss of the most valuable property of the human soul? Obviously, the answer is not as simple as it seems at first glance.
The interpretation of the concept of "vanity" can be found in various sources: dictionaries, works of psychologists, works fiction... This problem is more deeply illuminated in the writings of Orthodox saints.
Interpretation of dictionaries
You can get some idea of what vanity is by referring to Russian dictionaries.
For SI Ozhegov, it means the arrogant striving of a person for glory and veneration. The author gives in the form of an explanation such a condition as obsession, which, as a rule, accompanies vanity.
The meaning of the word in another edition is complemented by such properties as arrogance and a clear desire to act as an object of reverence. Here D. N. Ushakov notes the futility, emptiness of such aspirations. TF Efremova emphasizes that this quality is unjustified, that is, not confirmed by the true merits of a person.
The general meaning of the word
In this very two-part concept, one can find a general answer to the question of what vanity is. It comes from two words. One of them is vain, characterizing vain and emptiness, the second is glory, or, in fact, the goal of all these aspirations. Literally, its meaning can be conveyed as "a vain thirst for glory," or delighting oneself with arrogant pride. This is an internal desire to prove their own superiority over everyone else. It's not only characteristic painful pride, but quite often one of the main motives for self-development.
The opinion of psychologists
Turning to science with the question of what is vanity? The definition proposed by psychologists reflects it as one of the socio-psychological qualities of the human person, expressed in his explicit aspirations for reverence and glory. On this basis, there is a reassessment of their own abilities and capabilities.
The growing need to appear better than everyone else leads to a hypertrophy of pride and an increase in what is called "vanity." The meaning of the word can also be presented as one of the methods of insidious self-deception, the root of which is hidden under a heap of illusions about one's own greatness. Such self-aggrandizement can lead to dangerous consequences in the form of "star" disease.
Vanity in the modern world
Today, a person, fearing to be worse than others and being dependent on the opinions of others, strives towards goals that lead him away from himself. After all, as often happens: outwardly possessing all sorts of "attributes" of a good life, he can be deeply unhappy inside. There can be complete emptiness and frustration here. It is possible that by acquiring the benefits of civilization and constantly thinking about them, a person is trying to protect himself from the emptiness that is in his soul.
Modern information world promotes the development of vanity. Today everything in it is created in order to be able to be in the sight of others, to demonstrate oneself, the level of well-being, one's achievements in work, business, and even in personal life.
Vanity is justified because it is recognized as the incentive that enables people to achieve tremendous success. A striking example to that - celebrities, figures of show business, sports or art. People who serve the idol of vanity and give it everything that normal person priceless - motherhood, health, family, the best years of my life. And all this for the sake of still bask in the rays of glory.
This problem is not new. It is enough to turn to the works of painting and literature, and it becomes clear: the search for an answer to the question of what vanity is has been relevant at all times.
Orthodoxy
In search of an answer to the same question, let us turn to religion. So what is vanity? In Orthodoxy, a lot has been said about this sinful property of the human soul. The Reverend Fathers saw his insidious nature and noted that this vice is hidden, many-sided and subtle. He is able to tempt a person not only fleshly, but also spiritually, growing both to the sinful and to the virtuous.
Basil the Great defines vain one who is able to do or say something only for the sake of worldly glory. The attitude of the holy fathers to the latter is completely different from that of secular people. After all, no glory on earth can compare with that which God has prepared for those who love him. Everything earthly turns into dust and can only be compared with vapor, which, having appeared, immediately disappears.
Answering the question of what a person's vanity is, Orthodoxy calls on him to fight this passion, which brings along many other sins:
- man-pleasing;
- idolatry;
- gluttony;
- pride.
The way a person thinks about himself determines the direction of his whole life. It is known that, ascending to a higher level, he begins to feel differently: smarter, more beautiful, or simply better than others.
In Orthodoxy, everything should be the other way around. Here external advantages are a complete emptiness. How more people ascending the ladder of life, the more acutely he feels how unworthy of this rise, because the level of development here is determined by the degree of humility. And the Lord will judge not so much by deeds as by heart's intentions. A person, doing good, which is not intended for God, but with the aim of showing that he is better than others, out of his vanity only moves away from God.
The root of this behavior lies in the fallen nature of people, and if you do not fight this consciously, you can fall very low.
How to overcome your vanity
To some extent, having answered the question of what vanity is, let's figure out how you can deal with this ailment.
The first is to try to be honest not only with others, but also with yourself. Recognize your flaws and work on them.
The second rule is to adequately perceive criticism. Of course, it's hard to be nice to someone who scolds us. At the same time, we must remember that thereby he brings us invaluable benefits, indicating the direction of development.
Third, be careful with praise! It may have completely different roots, which are in no way connected with its object. This can be a desire to gain favor or just to please, etc. You should always remember this and try to be critical of the praise.
The fourth rule is to set goals slightly above your capabilities. And upon reaching them, remember that there are people in the world who have achieved much more, but with all this remain modest and simple.
The fifth rule is from the Orthodox priest Dmitry Smirnov, who offers not to express his opinion until they turn to a question or for help.
The content of the article:
Vanity is the feeling of fame, recognition and arrogance of a person without apparent reasons... The root of this problem lies in the distortion of self-esteem to create a certain image that can somehow help you feel better. V pure form vanity means sweet self-deception, arrogance, pride, which does not lead to anything good and only repels other people.
The Impact of Vanity on Life
Vanity is a lie to oneself that revolves around self-worth and is fueled by self-praise and flattery. Naturally, such a person is not able to correctly assess the level of his capabilities, because vanity increases the number positive qualities and lifts him to a new pedestal. This is a normal desire to be recognized and the pursuit of praise often exhausts a person inwardly. And after that, it is very difficult to find an inner balance.
Inadequate self-esteem distorts the perception of a person by those around him and makes him a braggart. Usually, in such cases, close people and friends are lost. Pride maximally exalts a person over others and makes him higher only in his mind. Outwardly, it looks as if he imagines too much of himself and, naturally, does not inspire confidence in the rest.
Vanity excludes the possibility of a sober outlook on life. The person is unable to understand the feelings of others and correctly assess the situation. In the family, problems are growing due to misunderstandings. The vain man in the street will demand too much from others that he himself does not deserve. He expects calling, praise and honor for his actions, which, in fact, are worth nothing of the kind.
The vanity of a woman turns her husband away from her, who begins to consider his wife too arrogant. She loses her friends, demanding constant praise from them and speaking out negatively about them. Such a woman is convinced of her own superiority and does not doubt it at all. Moreover, she persistently tries to gain recognition from the people around her, while not being too polite to themselves.
The problem of such a person is in self-esteem, which is not motivated by anything, but banally overestimated due to internal conflict and unresolved personal problems. Over time, children stop treating vain mothers the way they demand, and family conflict grows. Naturally, in the future, any relationship deteriorates, because no one will recognize the cult of an undeserved person.
Vain men very often turn their women into obedient followers of their immodest persona. Such a person will choose the most meek and quiet girl who will constantly confirm and support his "pseudo title". If the family will develop, then only on the basis of the indispensable reverence for the man in the family and respect for his vain ego. The husband will build any relationship around himself and his person, overshadowing all the merits of his wife and children.
Inflated self-esteem and the constant demand for recognition from loved ones will slowly destroy family relationships, which will immediately lead to the quite expected collapse. The situation with children in the family will be the same as in the case of a woman. Vanity encourages you to put yourself above any other family member's interests. That is why mutual understanding in such families is completely absent.
The main reasons for the development of vanity
Vanity is always a consequence of internal conflict, a split in the perception of oneself. A person mixes the real with the desired and believes what he likes best. The split occurs due to a traumatic situation or prolonged exposure to an unfavorable climate, for example, upbringing in a dysfunctional family.
Vanity is considered as a variant of the twisted compensation of the psyche for the missing feelings. But, getting stuck on the feeling of their acute shortage, a person loses the opportunity to soberly assess the situation. Sometimes this feeling develops as a result of prolonged maintenance of a false image in an artificial way.
Arrogance can occur as a result of being overly kind to a person, praising and exaggerating his achievements, although, in fact, there was no reason for this. Unfortunately, both options happen quite often, but depending on different situations may take on slightly different shades.
Perhaps the reason lies in childhood. Difficult relationships with parents or loved ones, who allowed themselves to offend the child and belittle his dignity, can quite realistically affect the formation of an unhealthy psyche of the child.
Constant belittling causes a feeling of lack of certain emotions that accompany pride and recognition. After all, every person sincerely dreams of being recognized or hearing praise. Those children who have never heard her turn simple words into value and appropriate it to themselves. It is like a way to compensate for the damage done in childhood. A person who has been belittled creates an aura of pride and recognition around himself, literally demanding honor from others.
Arrogance manifests itself in every situation and acts as defensive reaction... Sometimes this is a way to prove to yourself that the parents were wrong and the person is really worth something. In any case, the compensatory reaction goes far beyond that primary family conflict, and the layman learns to live with pride, takes it for granted.
Often a person's arrogance develops after a difficult school age. Whatever the adults, children can sometimes be very cruel. School years are accompanied by intensive development psyche of the child. Bullying by peers, public humiliation can seriously harm the still unformed outlook, including self-esteem. Moreover, adolescence with characteristic hormonal surges enhances the effect and can even lead to negative consequences.
These events, in fact, cause a split in the personality and some change in their ego. A protective reaction develops compensatory in the form high self-esteem... A person creates for himself an image and reputation that will not be tarnished, and is very worried about it. Begins to perceive himself much higher than he really is.
Most often, vanity develops as a result of poor parenting. No, for this it is not necessary to scold the child or humiliate him, it is quite enough to allow him to behave as he wants. The absence of an established framework of behavior and prohibitions forms pathological permissiveness.
Over time, such a person begins to get used to the fact that everyone will treat him in the same way as their parents, more and more reliably convinced of their own superiority. Self-esteem grows with the child over the years, without denying himself anything, the image of his own consummateness and perfection is formed. High demands on society and arrogant self-esteem foster vain pride.
The main signs of vanity in a person
Recognizing a conceited person in communication is quite simple. They usually give themselves away due to high self-esteem and a look down on the interlocutor. First of all, he talks about his merits and superiority, focuses on his own qualities, slightly embellishing achievements and qualities.
In a conversation, he tries either to dominate and conduct the conversation, or to look down on the interlocutor with a contemptuous or even contemptuous glance. The thread of the conversation is constantly trying to draw in familiar topics, to tell about yourself. He never asks about others and takes little interest in the affairs of the interlocutor.
Of course, all of the above is characteristic of an extreme degree of vanity, but some of the similar signs are easy to notice in your friends and acquaintances. Vanity is manifested by the characteristic centralization of conversations. Such a person uses any occasion and topic to tell everyone about a new event in his life, an achievement that is actually not very important.
He actualizes insignificant events and tries to become the center of attention, transfers the conversation from others to himself. With all this, inner vanity makes you feel uncomfortable if your pride is hurt or someone else is in the center of the conversation.
Vanity sometimes won't let you do some simple things, which are peculiar to people, for example, to apologize, to ask for something. These are ordinary concepts, but it is very difficult for a conceited person to descend to them. To do this, you need to lower your pride scale and “condescend” to simple requests or apologies. Signs of this condition may include an inability to treat people tactfully, perseverance and lack of flexibility in life situations.
At work, such people often succeed, but they also fly by because of their pride. A person is very proud of his place and values it above all else. Vain bosses adore flattery and praise, praising such in time can even get a significant bonus or promotion. But, hearing not too pleasant reviews about yourself, everything changes: the anger of vanity is a rather unpleasant thing, and it is better not to deal with it.
How to overcome vanity
Vanity, after all, is an internal conflict, and it must be resolved from within. Only by finding the root of the problem can you get rid of this unpleasant quality forever. Naturally, the ideal solution for this task would be a timely appeal to a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist. With a few sessions of cognitive behavioral therapy, you can correct your self-esteem and prioritize your life path.
For men, the importance of the question of how to deal with vanity is rarely raised. Their pride is quite difficult to hurt and shake to such a level that they begin to doubt the veracity of their ideas.
But still, some of them, who notice this not too pleasant quality, want to get rid of it as soon as possible. This means that the first stage of the reassessment has already begun and there is minimal criticism of one's own feelings.
Women struggle with vanity is much more difficult than men. They have a stronger sense of self-worth and pride that is motivated by social attitudes. How to get rid of vanity, it will be interesting only for the woman to whom it has already caused a lot of problems and makes it difficult social adaptation... Only then will she begin to look for means and ways to deal with this condition.
For both sexes, it is important to realize the value of your own person, critically assess your abilities and capabilities, or, in other words, be honest with yourself. The latter is the most difficult thing for people who have deceived themselves all their lives and showed themselves better than they really are.
You need to appreciate and accept the importance of other people, learn to respect their rights and dignity, recognize the best sides and share the opinion of others. You need to understand your role in a large mechanism and accept it, be able to appreciate the importance of others, be able to admit your mistakes and shortcomings.
There are no ideal people, everyone can find a flaw in himself that characterizes him as a person, and people tend to make mistakes. It must be remembered that admitting your shortcomings is the greatest courage, which is far from being subject to everyone. To overcome internal conflict, it is necessary, first of all, to pacify your own pride by taking the first steps on the path to success.
How to get rid of vanity - watch the video:
A person's strength is far from material wealth, achievement or competition. They forever remain only memories and pictures from memory. The real value is the people who are near, in spite of everything, those who will remain when there is nothing left. You need to be able to distinguish inner self-respect and fortitude from vile vanity, which drags into the abyss of envy, pride and loneliness.
Spiritual delight comes from pride, and pride comes from vanity. The explanatory dictionaries say about vanity:
New explanatory and derivational dictionary of the Russian language. Author T.F. Efremova.
vanity Wed Unjustified arrogance, arrogance, desire to be an object of reverence.
Explanatory dictionary, ed. S. I. Ozhegova and N. Yu. Shvedova
vanity, -I, cf. Arrogant striving for fame, for reverence. Obsessed with vanity someone.
Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language, ed. D. N. Ushakova
vanity, vanity, pl. no, cf. (book). Empty arrogance, arrogance, the desire to be an object of glory, veneration. Excessive vanity.
Dictionary of synonyms N. Abramov
Pride, pride, pride, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance, pretentiousness, arrogance, vanity, swagger, pride, resentment, ambition, arrogance, conceit; arrogance, arrogance, arrogance. Shoot down (knock down) arrogance from someone. "Oh, I'll put some fat on him!" Gog. National pride is chauvinism. "Throw away your fancies. Go to the police officer, try to get along with his wife, express yourself more restrained, warmer." Salt. Wed Dignity, Touchiness and Swagger. Prot. Modesty, Humility. Pride considers itself a virtue; arrogance is based on arrogance; arrogance - on lust for power; arrogance is the pride of the mind; arrogance is the pride of nobility, wealth, vanity is vanity, a passion for praise, arrogance is stupid complacency that takes credit for dignity, rank, external insignia, wealth, one's high birth, etc. (Dahl).
This is how Saint Ignatius of Brianchaninov writes about vanity:
Vanity- the search for human glory, boasting. Desire and search for earthly and vain honors. Love of beautiful clothes, carriages, servants and private things. Attention to the beauty of your face, pleasant voice and other qualities of the body.
Disposition to the sciences and arts that are dying of this century, the quest to be in time in them for the acquisition of temporary, earthly glory.
It's a shame to confess your sins. Self-justification. Objection. Composing your mind. Hypocrisy. Lie. Flattery. Man-pleasing. Envy. Humiliation of the neighbor. Changeable disposition. Pretense. Shamelessness. The disposition and life are demonic.
