The Elle Girl editors, as always, know the answer to your questions of the day;)
Answer: How I understand you! And they probably not only don’t look, but really pay attention to you, but they’re always the wrong ones: uninteresting, boring, younger than you, or with someone else. bad habits and bad character, right? If yes, then let's figure out what's going on. That you are just super-duper, we believe, and the entire editorial staff, because we saw who asked this question, but it’s still about you. There are five main reasons why you're not attracting or attracting the wrong guys.
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Reason one: your set of qualities scares off guys
Stop, stop, stop! This does not mean that you urgently need to become a bore, push your excellent self-esteem into a corner, pretend to be a fool and give up on your goals. On the contrary, develop these qualities in yourself - they are very useful, just know that you do not attract guys who are much lower than you in terms of development. And this is very good. I repeat, do not under any circumstances change yourself so that the boys who surround you like it; stooping to their level just so as not to be alone is the last thing.
What to do: Determine what kind of guys you like, adequately assess whether there are such guys around you, and establish contact with them. If not, go more often to places where such guys appear. Since I don’t know who your type is, when you decide - do a Google search where such guys usually spend their free time - he will know.
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Reason two: you can attract older men
If you are over 18 - okay, that's great, you have big choice young people whose attention you can attract. Surely guys 18 and older are looking at you, you just didn’t pay attention or didn’t consider them as a potential couple. If guys from 14 to 20 are intimidated by girls of your type (guys are simply not ready for responsibility and cannot live up to you, and you hardly need them), then older guys, on the contrary, are very attracted.
What to do: Try to change your opinion about them and look for a guy among a different age category, just don’t get carried away when you’re 18 and he’s 45—it’s already a bit too much. And if you are not yet 18 years old, then wait a little - everything will come on its own.
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Reason three: you're still too young
No, not in the sense that you’re a baby, you still need to eat porridge and not look for guys, you just might think that you’re ready for a relationship, but in reality you’re not. You will be surprised, but this psychological unpreparedness is reflected in our behavior, and the guys understand everything perfectly. And you just might look very young. In the modeling business, this is called baby-face, girls with such faces look 13 years old, although they are already well over 20. Guys are sometimes simply afraid to approach such girls, because it doesn’t say on your forehead how old you are, but in criminal cases The code spells out very well what happens in relationships with children.
What to do: Don't worry. You don’t need to put on brighter makeup or wear revealing clothes to look more mature—just change your presentation. Start acting like a grown-up, more serious girl, change your style a little (for example, stop wearing SpongeBob panties and a Mickey Mouse T-shirt), and you will see that guys intuitively recognize you as a grown-up girl, not a naughty child.
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Reason four: There are simply no guys of your level in your social circle
No, well, we all look like Christian Grey, Jamon Salvatore, Chuck Bass, Jughead, Ezra and Caleb, but we don’t see guys like that everywhere. Theoretically, fate can push you if you take the subway, and he drives an expensive car - the car may break down, and he will have to take the subway and cuddle up to you in a stuffy carriage for half an hour - but fate is a lazy and capricious thing, so you have to take everything into your own hands.
What to do: Stop waiting for weather by the sea. If you like athletes - go meet them at the sports ground, if you like movie lovers - create a blog about cinema and get accredited to press screenings, which are full of film critics and experts; if you like elegant young people - they are found at exhibitions, receptions, restaurant openings and other events - promote your account on Instagram and receive invitations, or even go yourself - the best parties are those to which we were not invited;)
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Reason five: You are presenting yourself incorrectly
And a little more about style. You are, of course, an athlete, a Komsomol member and simply a beauty, and you know about it... but the guys don’t know! You don’t walk around with a banner on which all your wonderful qualities are written? I hope you haven't reached that level of despair yet. So, if they don’t know about all your merits, how can they pay attention to you?!
What to do: Emphasize your strengths and learn to present yourself. Choose the perfect makeup palette for yourself - figure out what colors suit you, choose a hairstyle and stop tying it in a ponytail - this is a sign that you are in a hurry and you don’t have time to style your hair in the morning, and guys don’t meet girls who are always going somewhere. they are in a hurry. Find your style in clothing (bloggers can help you) and don’t wear the first thing that fell out of your closet every morning, and don’t neglect accessories. Walk slower and don’t plug your ears with headphones - this way you reduce the chance of meeting someone on the street - a fast step will prevent you from catching up, and headphones will prevent you from calling out, and the guy simply will not take steps so as not to look like an idiot. Also, learn to present yourself, pay attention to Audrey Hepburn, Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, Kate Middleton - everyone has a style, and everyone has it different.
Of course, this can only be your opinion, which is actually far from the truth. Really meet ugly people is brought up infrequently. It is important to understand that everyone has their own characteristics, and to perceive their imagined or real shortcomings precisely as characteristics.
I consider myself ugly, what should I do?
Once Coco Chanel, who is now considered a style icon, noted: “If a woman is ugly, then she is simply stupid.” Even in those days, there were many ways to highlight your best sides and de-emphasize your shortcomings. Nowadays, the fair sex has many opportunities to improve their appearance.
Realize that if you are ugly, it is your choice. Do you want to receive more compliments and love your reflection in the mirror? So we need to act! Determine what features you are dissatisfied with, make a plan with points in which you describe how you can correct this or that problem. Now that you have this plan in place, get to work!
Complexes or imperfect appearance
In fact, your lack of confidence in your own appearance, can only be a complex that someone once instilled in you. They pointed out some “flaw” to you and you believed it.
Many of your “imperfections” that you are embarrassed about may not be noticed at all by people or not considered as such. Such self-doubt indicates low self-esteem, and a visit to a psychologist can normalize the situation.
Probably, many have heard stories about stars who, having a beautiful appearance, were dissatisfied with themselves or had complexes about their fading youth, going under the knife of a plastic surgeon. As a result, the appearance, which seemed standard to millions of people, was simply ruined. Such celebrities include Renee Zellweger, Lara Flynn Boyle, Melanie Griffith, Meg Ryan and many others. Surely, these women decided to undergo surgery, ceasing to consider themselves beautiful. Look at the photos of these actresses before plastic surgery, and see that their claims to themselves were very far-fetched.
How to understand that you are a beautiful girl
One of the main criteria in this matter is the compliments of others. If people periodically note the advantages of your appearance, then apparently you are really beautiful.
There are simply no specific beauty templates. The ideal changes every decade, and every culture has completely different ideas about female beauty.
However, note that beauty does not always translate into charisma, charm, sexuality or intelligence. It’s great if you have undeniable external and internal advantages, but if you are deprived of physical beauty, you can be no less successful in all areas of life than written beauties.
Surely, you have often heard stories about how men leave their beautiful wives for seemingly completely inconspicuous people. Many people ask the question: “What did he find in her?”, but when you watch such women in person, everything becomes obvious - they are so charming, smart, sexy and attractive that external “ordinariness” ceases to be so.
And this effect happens quite often. You may hear about some woman that he is very beautiful, but when you see her at the first second, you don’t understand everyone’s admiration. Once you start observing such a woman, you suddenly also begin to notice her beauty. It's all about charm - you're not born with it, but actively develop it.
How to love yourself if I'm fat
If excess weight really upsets you, that is, there is only one way out - to get rid of it. You may think that you are already doing everything possible, but the hated kilograms remain in place. This means that this is not true and you are not doing your best, in other words, you are not trying hard enough.
Girls who cannot lose weight are either not motivated enough or have health problems. To exclude the second option, get examined by an endocrinologist, nutritionist, or gastroenterologist.
Set yourself a deadline within which you need to lose weight. For example, you can read stories of girls who got rid of personal weight. There are many groups in this area on VK, where you can see the “Before” and “After” results, and make sure that with the right degree of desire and perseverance, you can also achieve the desired forms.
What should I do if I have an ugly face (long nose, bad skin, small breasts)
Many believe that at least 50 percent of beauty consists of other qualities - not the nose or breasts. If you have well-groomed hair, clear skin, healthy teeth and a slim body, then you can at least be considered a pretty girl or woman. All of these points are quite achievable if you really want it.
There are several large sites on the Internet where girls leave detailed reviews with photographs about how they managed to grow their hair or bring it to its ideal condition. There you will also find information about skin care, sports activities and harmless diets.
There is also a lot of information on the Internet on how to visually smooth out certain imperfections.
Plastic surgery is the solution
If this is not enough for you, and some part of your body or face is seriously poisoning your life, it looks like it’s time to think about surgical intervention. Many women, for example, having undergone rhinoplasty, admit that they really regret that they did not take this step earlier. Contact a specialist and find out his opinion - is surgery really necessary for you?
Consider possible risks. If plastic surgery remains your only option, then choose a clinic carefully. Search real reviews, try through social network get in touch with the institution’s clients, asking them about all the “pitfalls” of the operation. Often, such interventions are not cheap, and if you do not have the required amount, then this is not a reason to be upset. Many clinics perform the operation on credit, “splitting” the payment into several payments.
I don't like my height - I'm too tall or short
Whatever your height, look for the positives in it. Tall and short stature are good in their own way. Tall girls They often envy their miniature friends, and they, on the contrary, are dissatisfied with their diminutiveness, dreaming of adding more than a dozen centimeters in height.
To make it easier to gain self-confidence, find information about celebrities who are about the same height as you. They often look great and don't seem to have any self-esteem problems at all. See what these stars wear, what style and hairstyles they prefer, and try to get closer to these canons.
How to live as an ugly woman
What to do to love yourself
Realize that there is no other you in the world and that’s great! Perhaps your appearance really does have some shortcomings, but why did you decide that they deserve more attention than your advantages?
Pay attention to your strengths, emphasize them, and focus attention on them. Behave confidently, and this will have a positive effect on the attitude of others. Probably, many girls have noticed this phenomenon: a girl who is ugly in your opinion behaves confidently and even a little defiantly, and at the same time she is doing remarkably well. personal life, and many fans seek her attention. Self-confidence sometimes attracts much more than external beauty.
Tricks of makeup and transformation using clothes
There are many videos on the Internet that clearly demonstrate how even the most homely person can turn into a model from the cover of a magazine after applying makeup correctly. There are now many techniques, available cosmetic products and salon treatments that can significantly change your appearance. better side. Watch some video tutorials and you will see that these skills are not difficult to master!
Clothing, like makeup, is designed not only to hide nudity from others and to escape the cold, but also to draw attention to your winning sides, highlight your skin tone, visually enhance hair color, add or hide volumes in your hair. in the right places etc.
Determine your color type using numerous tables on the Internet and read which shades will suit you. It is quite possible that previously, for some reason, you avoided, for example, the color pink, without even suspecting that combinations with it were most suitable for you.
Examples of successful imperfect stars (cinema or Hollywood) who became famous thanks to or despite their imperfections
There are many women in the world who cannot boast of an ideal appearance, but very few pay attention to this. However, if there are such women, then these women do not care about their opinion, because they have achieved fame, recognition and success, despite criticism. Let's talk about some of them.
This woman is successful, rich and has many fans around the world. What made her so? At first glance, it’s difficult to call this actress’s face ideal, but when you start watching how she speaks, looks, moves, laughs, you forget that her appearance is imperfect.
In the 60s of the last century, she even played in the film “Funny Girl.” This is a biographical film about the real person Fanny Brice, who, despite many features of her appearance (squint, big nose, etc.) managed to become a real Broadway star. Barbara saw in herself many similarities with Fanny, but, like the prototype of the film, Streisand managed to achieve success, despite external shortcomings.
When Winnie was a child, she often had to catch other people's eyes on her, and the reason for this was her disease Vitiligo. The girl had to face ridicule and insults, and she no longer expected anything good from life until she pulled herself together and showed willpower. Having grown up, the Jamaican native went on the show “America's Next Top Model,” instantly captivating its creators. The girl managed to become famous in America and abroad, having concluded many expensive contracts. Now she is in demand, successful and famous, but once upon a time those around her called her a cow, because of the white spots on the dark skin of her face and body.
Now this graceful Englishwoman regularly appears on big screens, being the standard of elegance for many women. Surely, for Tilda herself it is strange to be in such a status, because, according to her, in childhood she was not perceived as a girl. The actress notes that she decided to “turn off sexuality,” but this did not save her from the public’s attention, and it’s all about her incredible charisma!
The popular actress has heard criticism addressed to her since childhood and continues to hear it to this day, but this did not stop her from becoming a world-famous star. Moreover, he is a happy mother and wife. In addition, in her youth, Parker was in a long-term relationship with one of the first handsome men of Hollywood, Robert Downey Jr., and today she is a real style icon!
Shyness is not a vice
First of all, stop gnawing and torturing yourself for being too timid. All our fears, and at the same time our insecurities, end where love begins. Sincere, pure and real. To ourselves (please do not confuse this with narcissism). And you need to be imbued with the rather simple idea that modesty and delicacy are advantages, and in no case disadvantages. As soon as it becomes stronger in your mind, you will immediately begin to worry less. But it’s your anxiety that you’re too tight that’s preventing you from liberating yourself.
Smile!
Do you think this is frivolous advice? You're wrong! Try to go to the mirror in the morning and smile at your own reflection from the bottom of your heart. Happened? Now hold back your smile. Now smile even wider and as cheerfully as possible... In fact, few people cope with this test. For some, instead of smiling, they get some kind of grimace, for others, their facial muscles begin to twitch, for others, it seems that only idiots can smile for no reason.
Do you also think that smiling when meeting strangers in the office or in your entrance is somehow stupid? Believe me, another hundred thousand introverts who give the impression of stone idols think exactly the same way. Few people are friends with them, they don’t dare to get to know them, they are not invited to parties, and if they are invited, they try to stay away from them. And you know, this doesn’t surprise us.
How to overcome shyness? Finally, force yourself to smile! Remember something pleasant often and practice as hard as you can. To begin with, at least go to the nearest supermarket and smile at the saleswoman.
Don't stay at home
Psychologists believe that complexes are far from main reason shyness and self-consciousness. A person simply lacks experience in communication. Have you ever noticed how you behave when you find yourself in a society where there are many people you don’t know? The most desperate modest people in such a situation usually remain silent and generally withdraw into themselves, like a snail into a shell. There is no need to be afraid to talk to strangers.
How to get rid of shyness? Experts have some basic advice: you need to be outside more often. Yes, literally walk around and ask for directions to the library, even if you know the way there well. This method - asking unfamiliar passersby for directions - is considered good training.
Talk
Try not to have lunch alone. People have at least one ancient powerful instinct associated with the ritual of sharing food. When they gather at the same table, their subconscious says: “We are friends, everything is fine.” And so they relax, become more relaxed, and, therefore, more talkative.
It is during such “informal” conversations that you can learn a lot about a person. Try to remember some information about your friends: the names of their loved ones, the names of animals, some important events from their lives. This is not a mandatory rule. But on occasion, your memory can provide you with an invaluable service.
Don't panic if you don't know how to start a conversation. There are many things that can be a topic of conversation. Hobbies, film premieres, the last book you read, a concert, a LiveJournal blog - you can discuss any of them with your interlocutor.
Change your point of view
You are afraid to open up to a person, you are embarrassed to tell him what you think, you are afraid of doing something wrong and ending up in an awkward and funny situation. In a word, you are afraid that they might offend you and leave you alone. That's why you use inaccessibility as armor - that's quite characteristic way self-defense.
Try to change your point of view. Don’t think that someone might leave you, considering you uninteresting, unattractive, and the list goes on. Start thinking something like this: “If he (so-and-so) doesn’t appreciate my abilities, I’ll break up with him myself.” And repeat this as a mantra to overcome shyness and insecurity.
“He’s all so correct!” - you often hear about someone you know. Or maybe about yourself from classmates, from dacha friends, from a yard party. It's often offensive. And why? Why do they call me that? What am I doing? And what’s so bad about being “correct” anyway?
So what do those who call you right mean? This, of course, depends on the case - you can never say for sure, but often this is what they call someone who for some reason does not do what is customary to do in a given circle of people. Or, on the contrary, he does something that is not customary for them. A standard situation - friends at the dacha are smoking, sitting on logs near a clearing. They offer it to you too, but you refuse. “Eh, what a “correct” one!” - friends say mockingly. Let's think about this situation. What would, for example, a confident adult say if he offered a cigarette to his equally reasonable friend, but he refused? He would say: “Don’t smoke? Well done". Or he wouldn't say anything at all. And this is because he, as a reasonable person, understands that smoking or not smoking is everyone’s personal choice. Just like drinking alcohol or not drinking. Just like wearing a cross around your neck or not. Dress brightly or not. Everyone decides for themselves.
In addition, an adult smokes not for something, but simply because he likes it. Surely, when he just started, he had other reasons, but now he simply cannot live without cigarettes - he thinks better with them, calmer (the nicotine contained in a cigarette is integrated into the body’s metabolism, and it begins to “starve” without him). But, one way or another, he smokes himself, it’s his choice, his health. You have the right not to breathe tobacco smoke - so environment heavily polluted by gases from cars, airplanes and factories. So is it worth damaging your lungs even more?
Live yourself, don't interfere with others' lives
Why do your friends smoke, and most importantly, why do they call you “correct”? The answer is simple. After all, if they call you correct, laughing at you, it means that they themselves admit that they are not correct. Yes, they are not correct, because they smoke, drink, spit on the ground and swear. And it’s interesting that they are proud of this “wrongness”. This happens because they protest against the usual way of life, against rules and norms, and most importantly, they strive to prove their “adulthood” and “independence.”
But adulthood does not manifest itself at all in the fact that you must necessarily do something “in spite of” and “wrongly” - adulthood manifests itself in a conscious choice and responsibility for it. A truly adult, independent person is aware of the harm of cigarettes, but if he still chooses to smoke, he smokes not because it makes him “right” or “wrong,” fashionable or unfashionable - he just decided so - he wants it that way, it’s his choice . But a guy or a girl who smokes and spits on the floor of the post because it’s so fashionable and “cool” in their village - they just don’t yet understand what independence and responsibility are. They are worth pitying.
Truly, the person worthy of respect is the one who still does not smoke in a smoking company because he chose not to smoke. A company worthy of respect is one in which people get together simply because they are interesting to each other, and not in order to prove to each other and everyone around them that they are adults and independent because they smoke, get drunk and spit at their own feet.
Everything in the world is changing quickly. Time flies very quickly: I just recently entered first grade, and lo and behold, college is just around the corner. Friends change, new acquaintances appear, new relationships appear. And the person himself changes. He tries new things, chooses what he wants for himself, and searches for his own path. If you have chosen to respect nature and not litter on the streets, this is your conscious choice. If you smoke, you realize the harm of a cigarette and smoke anyway - this is also your choice, your health. There is such life wisdom - live yourself, don’t interfere with others’ lives. You need to do what you think is right, without fear of seeming like a black sheep. You have your whole life ahead of you, and your principles and beliefs will help you walk through it boldly.
Having pushed aside dreams and tired of ideas, I’m waiting for winter like others don’t. Remember, you promised that it wouldn't rain? And they keep walking and walking. I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or am I still awake?
Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live. And the next day I have to play my role again, And laugh again inappropriately. Remember when you said that love is pain?! You're wrong, love is hell Anna Akhmatova. Poems of the classics.
Biographies of poets. Biography of S.D. Drozhzhin. -: Having pushed aside dreams and tired of ideas, I’m waiting for winter, like others don’t wait. Remember, you promised that it wouldn't rain? And they keep walking and walking. I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or am I still awake? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live. And the next day I have to play my role again, And laugh again inappropriately.
Remember when you said that love is pain?! Having pushed aside dreams and tired of ideas, I am waiting for winter, as others do not wait. Remember, you promised that it wouldn't rain? And they keep walking and walking. I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or am I still awake? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and it’s strange, I live. But take the advice of the wise: Let her read my poems, Let her keep my portraits - After all, suitors are so kind! And these fools need a consciousness full of victory, Than friendship, bright conversations, and the memory of the first tender days. When will happiness be pennies? You will live with a dear friend, And for a satiated soul, Everything will immediately become so hateful - Don’t come on my gala night.
I don't know you. And how could I help you? I don't heal from happiness. It’s very strange that at the end of such a bright and wonderful day I saw this particular work for the first time 🤔 Having pushed dreams and tiredness away from ideas, I’m waiting for winter like others don’t.
Remember, you promised that it wouldn't rain? And they keep walking and walking. I look out of the apartment windows in surprise - Am I in a dream or am I still awake? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live. And the next day I have to play my role again, And laugh again inappropriately. Remember when you said that love is pain?! Poetry. Classics. A. Order an analysis of the poem. Categories of the poem "Anna Akhmatova - Pushing dreams and tiredness away from ideas": Poems by Russian classic poets. Read a poem by the poet Anna Akhmatova - Moving dreams and tiredness away from ideas on the RuStikh website: the best, beautiful poems by Russian and foreign classic poets about love, nature, life, the Motherland for children and adults.
Read Anna Akhmatova’s poem “Pushing aside dreams and tired of ideas” on the best poetry site. 💎 All poems of great poets in one place. Having pushed aside dreams and tiredness from ideas, Having pushed aside dreams and tiredness from ideas, I am waiting for winter, as others do not wait. Remember, you promised that it wouldn't rain?
And they keep walking and walking. I look in surprise from the apartment windows - Am I in a dream or am I still awake? Remember when you said that all life is a dream? I woke up, and strangely, I live. And the next day I have to play my role again, And laugh again inappropriately.
Remember when you said that love is pain?! You're wrong, love is hell! The portal provides authors with the opportunity to freely publish and discuss works of modern poetry. Other articles in the literary diary: Pushing aside dreams and tired of ideas Full list articles.
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