Every person has a past, and often it brings him pain or unpleasant memories. I want to forget them quickly. It often seems impossible to do this. Well, how can you forget the past if it constantly reminds you of itself and does not want to leave today’s life? If a person lives in yesterday, then the “door” to the future will be closed for him. But there are methods, and even several.
Things and memories
For example, you can get rid of those things that constantly remind you of what you want to forget. Or from those who are connected with this past. You can give them away, donate them, or just throw them away. The main thing is that they do not catch your eye and do not evoke memories. Things are simpler, but there are cities, places that remind you of something. In this case, you should avoid visiting those places, or even move to another city. Even if it's temporary, until the past is behind you. Then when you return it will no longer matter. The same can be said about people. If you need to forget a person, you must avoid meetings and communication.
Time
You can wait for time to heal. Any emotions gradually change to others; there is no constancy here. You just need to wait for time, and then the past will no longer bother you. It's not that easy, it takes patience. It will be difficult, but you need to try to distract yourself with something while time heals. To work, friends, some hobbies. The main thing while it is healing is not to withdraw into yourself.
Rethinking
More difficult option- this is a rethinking. Any negative situation always brings positive consequences. The world is harmonious, therefore, when it takes something, it gives more or better in return. If you lose your job, it means you’ll find a better one, or you can even start working for yourself and earn a lot more. In addition, you will have the opportunity to travel around the world, and eventually get some sleep and relaxation. To understand what was acquired to replace what was lost, you need to take a pen and a piece of paper, and then describe everything in detail positive sides your current situation.
A change of scenery
Change of scenery - another one effective way. Change everything you want to forget, change it. You can simply go on vacation, live in a tent on the shore, settle in a country house, and if you want to forget a person, start a new relationship. A change of scenery is not necessarily an escape. Moreover, not everyone has such an opportunity. But you can make repairs and change the interior.
Goals
Another way to forget the past is to keep yourself busy with something. You need to set a goal for yourself. And even if it is difficult, so much the better. For example, organize your successful business, albeit small. Or start a family. This will require a lot of effort and time, and therefore there will simply be no time to think about the past.
Dianetics
You can use one more method. This is Dianetics. The essence of this method is that you need to find free time, get comfortable, relax, and mentally constantly scroll through what is tormenting you. And so on several times. At least ten. At the same time, it is necessary to remember and experience exactly what needs to be forgotten. And it will be forgotten. Simply because you get tired of thinking about the same thing.
How to forgive the past
How to forget and forgive the past if it is constantly remembered, and the resentment seems to eat you from the inside. Perhaps it was the person or situation that caused the pain, but in any case, the first step is to take the time to carefully reconstruct the events. Reflect on what caused the conflict. Discuss the situation, if this is not possible, talk to a psychologist. Try to look at the situation from a different angle, as if to “get into the skin” from the other side. Try to understand the motives if it was a person. It is quite possible that you yourself are involved in this, perhaps by inadvertently offending someone and causing that negativity.
You can simply throw out your resentment, but not on people and work. For example, playing sports is perfect. Or you can selflessly help someone who is in trouble. And remember that by forgiving someone, you first of all help yourself, since you free your future life from negative binding to the past.
How to forget love
It often happens that a person does not know how to forget past love, well, it doesn’t work. It is clear that in one moment she is not forgotten, otherwise it was not love.
Past relationships
The question often arises: “How to forget past relationships?” First of all, you can’t be alone with your feelings. But attempts to constantly blame the other half for the breakup will also not lead to good things, since this causes negative feelings. It's best to simply reflect on the mistakes you've made in your relationship. And accept the breakup, not allowing this to happen in the future.
How to forget your past ex-love? What to do?
You can’t suppress your feelings, that’s not an option. You can acknowledge and experience them, but not resist. The latter will only increase mental pain and will be accompanied by constant memories. After a breakup, anger and anger often appear. If you keep them inside and don’t let them come out, then there is a high probability that the relationship will not be forgotten yet for a long time. Therefore, you need to find a way to throw them out, but not on others.
New relationships and views
The ideal way to forget the past is to start another relationship. Feelings are constantly renewed, new ones will be superimposed on the old ones. At the same time, new relationships are different, already pleasant experiences; they will also be renewed, and gradually the previous relationships will be forgotten. The main thing is not to look back and not try to strive to return what has already passed, since you cannot mend a broken glass, and even if you do, it will definitely not be without flaws.
It happens that the question often arises of how to forget your past life. Everyone who strives for this has their own reasons. But you always need to remember that you need to live in the present, life goes on, and events, people, values are constantly changing, new desires and needs appear. It’s good when there is something to remember, everyone has their own story. But you shouldn’t abuse this. From past life All you have to do is work on the mistakes. And look back only to avoid doing them again. New things cannot be built on old foundations.
Find a compromise with yourself
It is impossible to forget the past, you can only let it go. The difficulty often lies in the fact that a person does not want to change anything. Some people have a fear of going out new life. Initially, you need to decide what exactly is missing for happiness. If you need positive emotions, you can create them yourself for yourself. Buy your favorite book, watch a new movie, finally go on a long-awaited tour, move, change jobs, just come up with a small but pleasant holiday.
How to forget the past? There is a wonderful rule: “here and now.” It is simply deciphered. Here is exactly the place where you need to live. Now is the time to do this. We need to concentrate on what is happening now, because it is this moment much more important. The past will not return, and nothing can be changed there. But you can start laying out the future now, brick by brick. But the past will not be a distraction, since right now there is just a lot of work to build a new one.
What the past can give
We must remember that every minute of life is an additional opportunity to do something useful. And if you don’t use it, perhaps someday it won’t be enough. You need to live for today. What can the past give? Nothing, you can only look into it. Like a bag from which you can take something. For example, a good lesson.
Remembering the past, a person steals from himself not only the future, but even the present. And he doesn’t notice that in life there are so many new and unknown, beautiful things. Our life is generally short; every day that passes cannot be returned. It is deposited in the past, which, like a piggy bank, simply collects memories. Therefore, it is better to fill this piggy bank with pleasant memories than to push sadness and tears into it.
It happens that girls in love often wonder how to forget a guy’s past. First of all, you need to learn to respect both your past and what the other person had before meeting you. If this is the past, it means it has already passed, it does not exist. But the person who is nearby is the real thing. And perhaps the future. You don’t need to cling to the past, it doesn’t exist, you need to learn from it, and it’s better to live for today.
A memory is not a one-dimensional thought or idea. It is the sum of impressions from specific events in your past. You remember not a point in time, but many sensory details.
For example, if you try to remember a pleasant day spent at the beach as a child, more than just the image of a river will come to mind. You will remember how warm the sand was, the smell of the wind and the taste of the ice cream you bought at the kiosk across the street.
Any of these sensations can become a trigger. When you buy an ice cream that tastes similar to the one from your childhood, you will be transported back to a hot day on a river beach.
Thus, memories are inseparable from context.
2. How to manage memories?
Context is the most important factor for those who want to learn how to manage their memories. After all, with its help you can consolidate a memory. The wider and brighter the context, the more strongly we remember the event.
Let's go back to the memory of a hot day at the beach. It is advisable that you detail, setting, emotions and feelings. Then the context will be formed.
If you remember the easy flow of river water, the warm sand of the coast, the hot asphalt of the path next to your umbrella and the creamy taste of ice cream, the memory of this day will remain very vivid and complete for a long time. long years. The broader the context, the more varied the experience. This is what we recall when we remember a hot day spent in childhood.
So if we know how to use context to create a memory, can we find a way to erase our memories?
3. How can you erase memories?
A forgetting strategy may be to allow yourself to forget certain details of an event in order to destroy the memory completely.
To test this assumption, scientists conducted a study in which two groups of people took part. They had to learn words from two separate lists while simultaneously looking at photographs of different landscapes to create context for the memory.
One group was told to approach the task very carefully: memorize the first list of words and only then move on to the second. Subjects from the second group were asked to first learn words and then forget them. Then the volunteers had to repeat what they remembered.
The brain activity of the experiment participants was studied using functional MRI. It turned out that the subjects who forgot the learned words had a much lower level of activity in the part of the brain that is responsible for processing images. This group of participants simply let the words and images slip from their minds.
When the brain tries to remember words, facts, images, it is constantly working to create context. When the brain tries to forget something, it initially rejects the context and abstracts itself from it. Therefore, memories are created with difficulty and do not last long.
If we return to the example with the beach, we can say this: in order to forget this day, you would have to specifically try to forget the taste of ice cream and the hot sand under your feet.
4. Is it possible to delete a memory completely?
Does this method always work 100%? Of course not. Saying what scientists have discovered magic way you can’t forget, like in the movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” We know too little about the brain and do not know how to erase memories.
Forgetting is very useful. We can use it to help us cope with a traumatic experience or painful event. Forgetting is necessary to clear the brain of unnecessary information.
In the experiment, participants remembered and forgot simple things: words and pictures. A real memory consists of dozens of details and sensory impressions, so erasing it is not so easy. But this research is the first step at the beginning of a very intriguing and alluring path.
It looks like we can figure out how to forget unpleasant and unnecessary things. More importantly, we will learn to remember happy Days and moments to last a lifetime.
In every person's life there are things or incidents that he would like to forget. Yes, but the memory doesn’t want to let go of these bad memories. These memories are so deeply embedded in the brain that my head can’t get rid of them. So how do you forget the past when it doesn’t want to go away? What methods should you use to erase from your head what is not needed? How to clear your head of debris? More on that below!
It is usually said that as long as a person lives in the past, the future is closed to him. And in general, while a person lives in the past or future, he is not in the present, and if a person does not live in the present, then he is not happy. If you are happy now, then you are definitely living in the present. Therefore, it is simply necessary to get rid of past memories, otherwise the door to a happy future is closed for you.
Why do you think a person remembers some events clearly and for a long time, while forgetting others instantly? It's all about emotions. Man is first and foremost an emotional being. And if one event caused a powerful surge of emotions, then this event is fixed in memory for a long time or forever. Those events that do not evoke any emotions are quickly forgotten. And if you can’t forget something now, it means that something has caused strong emotions in you, and negative ones at that. It could be disappointment, resentment, and so on. This is what stuck in your head.
Forgetting the past on purpose is almost impossible. After all, when you consciously try to forget something, you only remind yourself of some situation. Now, if I tell you - don’t think about the pink elephant - what will you think about? Probably about a pink elephant. In this case, the same thing happens. Hence the conclusion: The harder we try to forget something, the better we remember it.
How to forget the past?
It happens that certain things, people, and even familiar places in the city prevent us from forgetting the past. Whatever one may say, as long as all this is nearby, it will be difficult to forget the past. For example, you experienced a difficult breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend. You really want to forget her or him. But as long as there is something that reminds you of her or his existence, you won’t be able to forget. Therefore, the first and correct step would be getting rid of things that remind you of something negative, which you want to get rid of.
Try to avoid a place in the city where some negative event has occurred. Perhaps your loved one abandoned you at a cafe, or you were robbed on Tverskaya Street, or something else that is better not to remember. Go around these places until you forget the past. Over time, it will become easier and you will again be able to walk calmly where something unpleasant happened to you.
Second tip - just wait. As they say: time heals. This is true. Any emotion, no matter whether it is positive or negative, is still replaced by another. There is no consistency in this case. Time will pass and you will stop remembering any unpleasant event. You just need to survive for a while and everything will calm down on its own.
The next option is rethink the past so that it no longer seems negative. It's no secret that negative experiences are more memorable than positive ones. And many people believe that they are more unlucky than lucky. Actually this is not true. In the case of a negative event, try to make it stop causing you negative emotions and be considered a failure.
For example, you were fired from your job, say seven years ago. You were very worried about this then. But after your dismissal, you were forced to open your own business and start working for yourself. Now you have a luxurious dacha, a car, and so on. What would happen to you today if you had not been fired seven years ago? Now we would go to work with a salary of 20,000 rubles, we would not have such a beautiful car, a dacha and the opportunity to relax. Therefore, that day should be considered successful.
Another example, your boyfriend dumped you! And what? It was as if the world had come together like a wedge on him. By the way, a crowd of other guys have already lined up around you who found out about this. You simply don’t notice them because you are suffering from a breakup. You see how the past interferes with the present, and therefore the future. So, I know many stories when girls did not hide the fact that after a difficult breakup they met the guy of their dreams, whom they later married. They, just like you, believed that they would never meet anyone else and that they would remain alone for the rest of their lives. Hell no! Everything was fine for them afterwards, and now they live happily and in harmony.
I know that now it’s hard for you to see something good when everything seems terrible, but time will pass and you will see for yourself. And now take a piece of paper and start writing down the positive aspects of what happened. Who knows how your life would turn out tomorrow if you had not received this experience today.
What helps most people forget the past is a change of scenery. As I already said, it is better for you to avoid those places that remind you of something. If you take a vacation and fly to another country, you are guaranteed to forget the past. It will be very nice if you can be distracted during your vacation. During your holiday you can have a pleasant and cheerful company, which with its positivity will not let you think about the bad. This happened to me personally, and this can happen to you. A change of environment is almost like starting life from scratch.
The next way is keep yourself busy with something like that. Stop harping on the same thing, it's already over. It's time to think about the future. and start achieving it. In the process, the brain thinks about only one thing -. He doesn't care about the rest. So take advantage of this unique moment.
And now the most powerful way to forget the past. This method is aimed not at forgetting it, but at remembering it. What I mean? There is a science called dianetics. So, her technique is very simple. You need to close your eyes and mentally move and experience that negative event until it stops causing emotions in you. You replay an event in your head from beginning to end many times. In this way, you will erase engrams (such as programs associated with an event) in your head. Give yourself two hours of time and start experiencing that unpleasant event many times. At the end of the session, you will feel much better, and you will simply be too lazy to think about that event (thought it up).
That's all I wanted to say in the article. “How to forget the past?”. And remember, no matter what happens to you, everything in your life will be just great. Good luck to you!
how to forget the past
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Hello, dear readers! Our whole life is a series of events. Some are forgotten instantly, while others can cause pain for a considerable time. They spoil your mood, cause negative feelings and complicate the future.
Today we will talk about how to forget unpleasant memories. You will learn how they are formed, how they actually affect your life, why you concentrate on them and how the previous life once and for all.
Where do memories come from?
As a rule, memories do not come out of nowhere. They are caused by other people's words, new events, some objects with which you have a connection. They can be destroyed and created. At one time we constantly think about rest, another we devote to relationships with a person, and a third to an unpleasant episode.
Your brain tries to keep close information that is important to you, but it is not able to judge its “importance” itself. Therefore, if you often think about a certain moment, the brain assigns this situation the category “significant” and deliberately resumes the process at every opportunity.
In addition to frequency, intensity and emotionality also matter to the brain. We devote more time to some thoughts, while we consider others to be “thought out far and wide.” These events fade into the background.
A person is not able to influence his own brain and change the category of significance of an event, but he can contribute to the fact that the memory fades into the background. To do this, you need to try to devote as little time as possible to unpleasant thoughts from the past. You cannot get rid of a sudden impulse of thought, but you calmly control the discussion: it’s up to you to devote an hour to it or just a few minutes.
You will not find anything new if you constantly pour the problem from empty to empty. Perhaps you like to share your emotions and the state that this event causes. Remember that the longer you continue to do this, the longer the damage to your psyche will continue.
You need to remove your emotional attachment. Make it real.
Emotionality
More than once I have come across articles from the Internet on psychology on this topic, in which people are advised to avoid places and events that evoke unpleasant memories. I don't entirely agree with this recommendation. Firstly, because most often it is quite difficult to do, and, secondly, it is not entirely correct.
Let's talk a little about something pleasant. The process is the same. Think back to your last vacation. When you were just returning from it, a program on TV or the word “travel” from the lips of a friend evoked a wave of emotions, memories of the beach, sea, cities and museums, as well as a long story about a recent trip. Time passed, and the story became shorter and less emotional.
By avoiding, you replace some unpleasant emotions with others and continue. You increase the time to overcome. You carry a burden within yourself, deliberately try to avoid certain places, and drown out the pain. At the same time, notice that you do not stop thinking about the incident.
Sooner or later, you will have to face something that will cause a relapse, but if in a normal rhythm by this time it would no longer cause so many feelings, then if it lasts for a long time it will become much brighter. You risk not just encountering an object that evokes unpleasant memories, but looking into the eyes of real fear.
Imagine you have a child and he is afraid of clowns. You try in every possible way to protect him from the object: do not go to toy stores, avoid circuses and public events. At age 12, when he returns from school, he finally encounters a clown. Do you think he will forget about his phobia or come running home looking pale? in a state of shock? Wouldn't it be better to slowly teach him that there is nothing demonic about clowns?
Don’t be afraid to face what revives in you, but try to talk and think about them less and less.
One frank conversation
First of all, you should discuss in detail an event from the past that evokes emotions in you. Ideally, it would be nice to discuss it with a psychologist, but you can also talk to a friend.
Discuss to your heart's content, don't be afraid to share. You must speak out and achieve maximum results. You should not have unspoken thoughts that will continue to torment your soul. Decide everything so as not to continue to look for new conclusions.
I can also recommend you a book Jose Silva "Mind Control", in which you will find real techniques to reduce the pressure of an event on the psyche, as well as many other valuable recommendations for improving your life.
See you again and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.
Memory is one of the most important, influencing his entire life. And many people take the problem of developing their memory skills very seriously. Fortunately, there are a huge number of opportunities today: various trainings, courses, seminars and other training programs. If a person has a need to improve his memory, he can easily find suitable materials. However, much less attention is paid to the problem of forgetting, although its importance is no less. After all, many of us often have a desire to get rid of some memories, feelings from the past, and simply free our memory from unnecessary information. This is exactly what we decided to talk about.
Among the many methods designed to improve memory, there are special methods designed for intentional forgetting. Their totality is called flying technology. The term itself has its roots in greek mythology, in which the well-known Lethe River was often mentioned (remember the common expression “sink into oblivion”). Lethe is the river of oblivion, which was located in the underground domain of Hades. Dead souls who entered his kingdom, having drunk water from Lethe, forever forgot that they had ever lived.
So what are the benefits of flying technology and what exactly is it used for? To begin with, it is worth saying that the property of human memory to forget is its integral component, because thanks to it, mnemonic processes are complete. And many Russian and foreign psychologists. It is the ability to forget that helps a person erase from memory something that happened in the past, but has a destructive effect on the psyche and personality in the present, as well as any information that is irrelevant at the moment. These are the two main reasons why it is recommended to master forgetting techniques.
There are two main flight methods: suppression and removal. Let's consider each of them separately.
Suppression
This method is considered specifically as a psychotherapeutic one, i.e. thanks to him, it becomes possible to forget what has a traumatic effect on the psyche. Often some memories of negative events bother people and come to mind because of their vividness. emotional coloring more and more often. A person begins to react sharply to this, to be afraid of these memories, and they become stronger. To eliminate these and other possible obsessive thoughts Typically, two exercises are used.
"Burning Letter"
Write down on a piece of paper all the memories that make you feel negative emotions. Describe them in full detail. Then take this sheet, crumple it and place it in a pre-prepared fireproof container. Set fire to the crumpled sheet. Watch the flame. And while the leaf burns, imagine how all the memories that bother you burn with it, and then turn into ashes. As soon as the paper completely burns out, scatter the ashes to the wind, throwing them, for example, out the window.
The essence of this exercise is that it not only helps you get rid of unnecessary memories, but also becomes their master. It is by having the opportunity to manage his memories that a person can get rid of them. This may even be unpleasant to some extent, but the result is worth it, because a person no longer needs to defend himself from annoying thoughts or suppress them, because he can simply describe them and burn them. And fire, as we know, has always been the best psychotherapist for people: looking at it, people were cleansed of what was psychologically pressing on them, “threw a heavy burden off their shoulders.” If a person has a vivid imagination, he is able to almost literally imagine how his troubles and misfortunes burn together with the paper, freeing his memory from a heavy burden.
"TV"
Sit in a comfortable chair or sofa and take a comfortable body position. Try to project your negative experiences in detail onto a large television screen created in your imagination. After that, pick up the same imaginary remote control and turn off the sound of your “movie”. Watch it as a silent movie. Then gradually make the image blurry and dull. Imagine that it becomes less and less bright and disappears completely.
The most important thing in this exercise is not to rush. There is no need to try to complete the entire exercise in a couple of minutes. On the contrary, you need the process to be as detailed as possible. For example, you can imagine how, after the picture disappears, you turn off the TV, unplug the power cord, pick up the TV, bring it to the window and throw it away.
You can also get creative with the film itself: change the plot from drama to comedy. Model the continuation of the situation in a comical version, put a funny melody or a stupid song on the image, imagine that the role is played not by you, but by one of the comedians. Become the director of your memories - this way you can manage and control them. If you don't need them, throw them out of your “video library”.
Even if “Burning Letter” and “TV” do not completely rid you of memories, you will no longer be afraid of them in any case. And if you are not afraid of them, then they will probably become indifferent to you. And what is indifferent to a person rarely disturbs his memory.
Removal
This is the second flying method. It is intended to a greater extent to remove from memory information that has lost its relevance and represents only mental and emotional garbage. Several exercises can be distinguished in the removal technique.
"Flight technical rag"
For example, your memory contains unnecessary images (words, people, pictures, data), which, although they do not have a negative effect, distract your attention and interfere with concentration, free flow of thoughts, etc. Imagine all this information figuratively reflected on a large chalk board. Then imagine taking a wet rag and erasing all those blocks of this information that you don’t need. In empty spaces, new images may form, related to the previous ones or associated with those nearby. Take the rag again and continue washing. Do this until nothing appears in the empty space. This technique is suitable if there is little information, because... you can divide the board into several sectors and clear each of them in turn.
"Images on Film"
There are cases when the amount of information is large and a simple “flying rag” may not work. Then you can transform this technique a little. Imagine that all the images being recreated are displayed on the same board, but only it is covered with an opaque film. Fill this entire film with unnecessary data, and then simply pull it off the board, immediately freeing up a large space on a new film stretched over the same board. The presented technique was used at one time by the outstanding Soviet and Russian journalist, professional mnemonist and owner of a phenomenal memory, Solomon Veniaminovich Shereshevsky.
Recording
This is another technique that S.V. used. Shereshevsky. He said that he always found it funny that people write down everything they want to remember, because if a person writes it down, why should he remember it? He decided that if he wrote something down, then he did not need to remember it. This became one of the laws of forgetting developed by Shereshevsky, which he began to apply whenever he needed to forget something not particularly important: telephone numbers, people's names, etc. You can use this technique too. Just pay attention: than more people writes, the less he uses his memory, and the less he uses his memory, the less it is trained and the less he can remember. Therefore, the less he writes down, the more he will train his memory, and the more he will remember. And it turns out that the information being recorded is information that should not be imprinted in memory, which means it can be safely forgotten. A very good reception, although to many it seems somewhat paradoxical.
In conclusion, I would like to add that the more you practice forgetting unnecessary information, the faster you will master this skill. After some time, the need to use any techniques will disappear by itself, because... You can forget any information and erase memories only with the help of one volitional effort, by giving your brain the appropriate command.
Don't forget to leave a comment. We will also be interested to know which of the forgetting techniques discussed seems most effective to you.
