There is probably no need to comment much on the fact that there are vengeful people who will not miss an opportunity to respond to the offender, to take revenge, so to speak.
Some say that revenge is the lot of the stupid and narrow-minded, and you should not pay attention to them. Others argue that the vengeful are the most dangerous opponents.
Who says that it’s easier to make friends with vengeful people?
How to deal with vindictive people? Should we be afraid of them?
Or, really, these people are not entirely healthy and we need to treat them with understanding?
Your opinion.
The question is very interesting. I believe that there is no need to be afraid of revenge. Because if you are a kind person and do not harm anyone, then this revenge will not cause you anything bad, but will boomerang back to the one who wishes you harm. It seems to me that revenge does worse than that the person who takes revenge, and not the one who is taken revenge. Because this evil eats him up - he thinks about how to take revenge, he has no peace in his soul.
Well, ideally, in order not to be retaliated against, you don’t need to do anything that could lead to retaliation. And if there is some kind of conflict, then you need to try to resolve it without reaching the point of feeling revenge.
Comments
Everything would be fine, but revenge has a bad effect on people’s mood. Not everyone can resist her. This is what the one who takes revenge counts on.
How to behave if you are being retaliated against?
Here, it seems to me, everything depends on the specific circumstances and the reason for revenge.
If the reason is not serious, and the revenge is petty and aims only to spoil your mood or career, try not to pay attention or talk seriously with the “avenger” - perhaps the reason for the revenge is a misunderstanding or something else that can be discussed and corrected.
Well, if the reason for revenge is serious and the actions of the avenger threaten your or someone else’s safety, poison your life, force you to change your established way of life, then don’t wait for a heart attack or a brick to hit you your head will fall- go to law enforcement agencies with a statement about a threat to your life and health...
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"Seriously talk to the vigilante?" - sometimes this is impossible, because some people give themselves rights and powers, and it does not dawn on them that they are acting ugly.
I think such “pests” later pay in hard cash. Just when they don't expect it at all.
They wrote it right here - evil always comes back.
How to behave if you are being retaliated against?
When one person takes revenge on another, it means there is a reason. And the person who is being taken revenge should think about this. What did he do that was so bad that he subsequently received such a reaction? Firstly, you need to change something in yourself so that in the future you don’t accumulate too many avengers.
Secondly, you simply shouldn’t pay attention to such people. Those who take revenge want, first of all, to arouse a person’s emotions, to make him suffer and worry, just as the avenger experienced and suffered.
You need to learn to treat everything calmly, with a certain amount of humor, as entertainment (to laugh once again and be positive), to ignore it. True, this may take some time, but the result will not be long in coming.
You can somehow talk to the offender, clarify the situation and dot the i's, in some cases you can even ask for forgiveness and part on good terms. I would not continue to communicate with such people, once he began to take revenge, they made peace, but he can hit him more painfully the second time (having already studied the weak points).
The mood is spoiled by the fact that a person spoils it for himself, by reacting violently to revenge. Until we stop treating everything that surrounds us with all seriousness and a storm of emotions, we will continue to be led by provocations and convince ourselves that revenge is a terrible thing.
The main thing is to treat what is happening calmly and adequately.
But revenge, of course, comes in different forms, and it can also lead to murder. In this case, before doing anything, you must first think so as not to provoke a reaction of revenge on the part of the offender. The police can save you here)
Revenge cannot be without cause a priori.
Ignore, calmly perceive what is happening and everything will be fine. And best of all, remove this person from your “contacts” list. Good luck!
Comments
I have always been interested in people who first do mischief, and later offer to dot all the i’s and forget past grievances.
There are no other laws in the energy field. Energy cannot disappear, it simply turns into another energy. It’s the same in relationships.
As they say, “whatever comes back, so will it come back (response).”
I very much agree that there is no point in communicating with vindictive people, because you can make mistakes once or twice, and when a person does dirty tricks on a constant basis, then no matter how you talk to him, sooner or later he will do it again :-) With a sweet smile on the face and with words of politeness. This is such a vengeful nature)))))))
In almost every situation, both parties are to blame. One side started, the other did not ignore, but became similar. Then the situation turns out to be dire. Someone starts blaming someone. There is no smoke without fire)))
Revenge (I do not mean blood feud, dictated, by the way, by ignorant and savage laws) at the everyday level is a nasty property of mentality, inherent in nasty petty natures. It is difficult to imagine that a decent person who respects himself would stoop to mean and vile revenge. Why go far? We have characters on our website who deliberately create several accounts for themselves in order to slowly spoil decent people...
Rather than go into this debate and write an answer, I would rather turn to the Great Ones and their assessment of vindictiveness. From this we can already draw conclusions about what kind of “vengeful” fruit these are and what they are eaten with)). By the way, if you type the word “vindictiveness” into a search engine, for some reason in many cases links appear together with the word “bitterness” - funny. And here are the Great Ones, I will break them so that the text does not merge...
The topic is almost revealed, and again - thanks to the great and wise.
I wonder how they advise you to behave when dealing with vindictive people?
Some advise this: Socrates, due to his constant arguments, often received insults from actions, which he treated with complete calm: having once received a kick, he patiently endured it and said to the surprised witness: “If a donkey kicked me, would I sue him?
Some people advise this)))
Socrates, due to his constant arguments, often received insults from actions, which he treated with complete calm: once having received a kick, he patiently endured it and said to the surprised witness: “If a donkey kicked me, would I sue him?” ??.
But it’s more productive, like this, this is typical for such people, a parable: The cat cornered a scorpion, who decided to defend himself to the end.
- Spare me! Spare me! You can catch a thousand other creatures and get a greater reward than a mouth full of shell fragments. If you let me go, I'll tell you a secret.
The cat, curious as all cats are, bent down and the scorpion whispered something in her ear.
The scorpion was released, and the cat returned to its owner.
As soon as the man picked her up, she seized the moment and, with all her newfound skill, sank her claws into her owner’s hand. No Scorpio could have done better.
The man put the cat in a bag and threw it far into the river.
You can take revenge in return!
The telephone dialer teleporting.net is what will really help you take revenge. Continuous dialing on your mobile or home will make anyone go crazy).
Revenge is a dangerous thing.
People are different and the revenge coming from them can be of any kind.
Therefore, you should be on your guard.
The best thing to do is to try not to let things get to this point.
If possible, then immediately sort out and solve all the problems.
But sometimes it is impossible to do this and then you will have to solve the problem in other ways.
There are enough levers of influence and you will have to decide how to behave in such a situation.
You can not react to revenge (if the revenge is petty and dirty), or you can turn to the law (if the revenge becomes dangerous).
As you understand, in this “fork” there are other ways to solve this issue.
Just revenge can take place, for example, if it is revenge on a traitor.
Revenge out of envy and malice is not fair revenge. You need to stay away from such people, not depend on them for anything, and it is best to once and for all end any relationship with them, even to the point that these people should not know your place of residence.
And when thoughts of revenge become obsessive, then this person should be urgently referred to a psychiatrist.
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How to behave if you are being retaliated against?
I know that kind, smart, self-sufficient, spiritually rich, beautiful and healthy in soul and body (yes!) people will never take revenge.
Therefore, it is worth making a psychological portrait of the one who is taking revenge on you.
It is unlikely that a beautiful, educated, literate woman who enjoys success with the opposite sex, or has a beautiful figure, knows how to dress stylishly, has no financial problems, etc., will begin to take revenge.
It won’t even occur to her, because she won’t have time.
Here you need to smile, here to work, here to help a child, here to joke, there to communicate, to support your husband. When to take revenge?
And some “Baba Yaga” will be happy to do this. What does Baba Yaga have? One tooth, and even that one is rotten, a hump, a mustache and a bag full of anger.
No one loves her or will love her. So it goes along the lines))
Well, you can behave differently. You can say straight out, “You’re Baba Yaga and no one loves you,” or you can troll kindly. For example, saying “how cute or smart or gifted you are (alternatively).
I'm probably for humor. Wasting energy on vindictive people is not the best thing to do. And then, they are just waiting for their “program” to work.
Compilation psychological portrait and humor!
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How to behave if you are being retaliated against, probably the degree of closeness with the person is important here.
It's one thing if it's a family member. Here you will have to clarify your relationship with the person and solve some problems.
It’s hard if this is a work colleague and he is taking revenge not for something specific, for the harm caused to him, but simply if you are luckier, more competent, etc., that is, out of envy. In my experience, in this case it is impossible to appease a person, because you cannot eradicate the problem in him himself. Here, it will probably help to ignore the person as much as possible and involve the authorities in this problem, otherwise later you may find yourself in a very unfavorable light.
And so, perhaps it is best not to get involved with such people, not to maintain relationships, not to try to prove or change something.
It happens that you really offend someone, the person then takes revenge, if you ask for forgiveness, they do not react. Here it is worth accepting as a fact, as I think, to come to terms with this decision, the will of another person. And defend yourself with a clear conscience. It happens, at least for me, that you begin to “forgive” such actions, saying to yourself: “well, yes, I offended you, now he has the right to behave this way.” This is where the big mistake is.
I believe that no matter what we are and no matter what we have done, we have the right to forgiveness and do not deserve revenge. There should be no revenge at all.
Make friends with someone who is taking revenge on you... Are you serious? Can you really make friends in this case? I don’t believe it... Unless you pretend to be a friend and then take revenge in turn. And become like this character.
What to do? As a rule, sorting out relationships is a disastrous business. You can try, but only once or twice. Did not work out? So it won't work.
Trying to remake an adult - well, you understand...
Those. it is hardly possible to correct the situation. What remains? Accept it and finish it for yourself. Those. move away from this person, erase him from your life. Ignoring is the best way out.
Well, let him puff himself up there, try... The main thing is that it doesn’t hurt you internally. You're right? This is the main thing.
How to behave if you are being retaliated against.
What have you done, my dear, if you are afraid of revenge. This means that the offense you caused to the avengers is great. Maybe it would be better to ask them for forgiveness. They say I was unreasonable, please forgive me. This means that you are consumed by the thought of being held accountable for what you have done. The best way go to church and confess.
Any person himself is not vindictive and can understand any situation. But if the thought of revenge does not leave him and he tries to take revenge, then it is you who are to blame for this and not the avenger. There are no people who, because of stupidity, will waste their time on revenge. Every person is born for love and happiness. And if a stranger got his snout into someone else’s life, messed up, ruined and upset everything in it, then, of course, vindictiveness awoke. And even more so if his life has changed radically and there is no improvement, then this person, by the will of fate, becomes vindictive towards you. And no matter what you do, you will have to answer to the strictness of the law of life. I feel sorry for both of you. Although if he forgives, God will never forgive. And in any case, the answer will come at the most inopportune moment, regardless of whether you have been forgiven or not. The answer will have to be kept before God.
The most reasonable answer to you is to ask for forgiveness from the one you harmed. Ask for a long time and ask again, and confess in church after forgiveness. Only your understanding of evil itself will God forgive you.
Bible - Leviticus
To take revenge or not to take revenge, that is the question. If I understand Shakespeare correctly, then a person who is constantly in a state of choice is a truly free person. But being free, he is responsible for his choice, agreeing to accept the consequences that will follow. Revenge is always a choice between the desire to take revenge and the opportunity to forgive. And I must say that making this choice is not easy. Every decision will have its own consequences - both positive and negative. On the one hand, a feeling of resentment, a feeling of anger, a feeling of hatred, a feeling of injustice - cause a person to have a burning desire to take revenge. On the other hand, revenge is not always necessary, so you can forgive someone who once harmed you, not for his sake, but for your own sake, for the sake of your future. In this article, dear friends, we will talk about what revenge is, in which cases it is needed and in which it is not, and how you can take revenge on your offenders if you decide to do so.
What is revenge?
Revenge is an action that a person is motivated to take in order to harm people who have previously harmed him. The motivating factor is such feelings as strong resentment, anger, hatred, a sense of injustice, and in some cases, common sense motivates people to take revenge. Yes, revenge can be not only justified, but also necessary. Below you will find out why. In general, if you delve deeper into the understanding of revenge, you can learn a lot more interesting and useful things about it. In particular, we can say that revenge lives in a person for a long time in the form of deep resentment and a sense of injustice, and these feelings sit in a person until he takes revenge. This is a purely psychological problem. If necessary, a psychologist can help a person get rid of severe mental wounds, and then this person will not need to take revenge on anyone in order to calm down and feel comfortable. But it happens that people take revenge out of conviction, considering revenge their duty. And sometimes it happens that a person carries a grudge for a long time, but does not plan to take revenge. But at one fine moment in his life, absolutely by chance, a situation arises when he can take revenge on his offenders and he does it - he takes advantage of the opportunity that has arisen and takes revenge. So revenge can be fueled by feelings, it can be guided by reasonable considerations, or it can simply become a pure coincidence. And it’s quite difficult to just take it and say that it is necessary or not necessary to take revenge, that it is right or wrong. IN different situations solutions may vary. Let's now see when it is necessary and possible to take revenge, and when it is better to refuse revenge.
Why do you need to take revenge?
Let's first look at the arguments for taking revenge. The first thing that revenge contributes to is peace of mind and comfort. The evil and harm that other people cause to us traumatizes our psyche, hurts our soul. And these traumas turn into deep spiritual resentment, which remains in a person until he either takes revenge on his offenders or forgives them. There will be no peace in a person’s soul until he deals with his grievances. And if revenge is the only opportunity to find peace, then, in principle, you can take revenge, especially if there is such an opportunity. Revenge can become for a person a kind of triumph of justice, punishment of evil, compensation for damage caused. Every person has a sense of justice, which allows him to resist and fight evil. It pushes a person to revenge as the only opportunity to restore justice and find peace of mind. If we believe that everything in this life comes back like a boomerang, including evil, then why don’t we launch this boomerang ourselves? reverse side so that the one who caused us harm, pain, damage, evil does not receive the same thing in return?
In this world of constant struggle, a person can resort to various methods of defense, including revenge, which is a delayed punishment for his enemies. No one is obliged to forgive anyone, it is a matter of personal choice. Those who talk about the need to forgive and not take revenge cannot understand what it means to live with a feeling of anger and resentment or a humiliated sense of self-worth, when a person ceases to see himself as a person, when he loses faith in himself, when he gets stuck in the past and again and again experiences pain, suffering, humiliation from his offenders, his enemies. This pain eats away at his soul, makes his life meaningless, makes him a hostage to the situation in which he was inflicted moral and/or physical harm, when he suffered some kind of loss that he cannot accept. To tell such a person that he needs to forgive evil means calling him to exalt this evil and bow before it. Therefore, you should not condemn those who want to take revenge on their offenders and enemies in order to simply start living again, and not be killed by their anger and resentment. If there is no peace in the soul, if pain, resentment, anger interfere with life normal life, then a person has the right to get even with those who once deprived him of this peace. Some people live only for revenge, because there is nothing else in their life that is worth living for. It may not be right, but that's how it is.
I believe that every person has the right to take revenge on those who have harmed him and all those who are dear to him. It is not because the human soul cannot find peace until evil is punished that we are all commanded from above to forgive those who have caused us harm. Therefore, everyone decides for himself how he will find peace of mind - through revenge or through other methods of cleansing his soul from grievances and healing it from wounds, including forgiveness. This concerns the psychological side of this issue.
However, this question also has practical side, which makes revenge a necessary phenomenon for our lives. The fact is that revenge is a punishment that can overtake anyone. This is true - you can take revenge on any person, no matter who he is. We all know very well that some actions of people need to be encouraged so that people strive to do them more often, while others need to be punished so that people do not do them. Usually we encourage conventional good and punish conventional evil, considering this not only fair, but also useful for our lives. In this way we indulge goodness and stop evil. This makes our life more peaceful. But if a person has committed a bad act towards other people and has not been punished for it, then with a high degree of probability he will do it again in the future. Impunity breeds permissiveness and this leads to more evil in our world. The task of revenge is to stop evil with the help of retaliatory aggression. Or rather, with the help of fear. When an aggressor is afraid of punishment, he behaves more restrained. And if he nevertheless decides to commit an evil act, he will suffer adequate punishment as a edification to others. IN in this case one evil balances another evil. Revenge here acts as a guarantee that evil will certainly be punished, no matter who it comes from.
There are people who completely lack such feelings as conscience, pity, and compassion. They live by different rules, by different laws, they have their own beliefs, their own understanding of life. And only one thing stops them from harming other people - fear. It helps keep such people in line. Dull, primitive animal fear is the only thing that can hold back the evil that lives in them. And in order to awaken this fear in them, they need to make it clear that if they commit bad deeds, if they cause harm to other people, punishment will definitely overtake them. Thus, revenge is a kind of law of life [the principle of talion], which is designed to punish evil. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth - this is exactly the principle that is designed to equalize the punishment with the damage caused. But this principle is not flawless, since very often people cause harm to each other without thinking at all about the consequences. They, as they say, do not know what they are doing. And therefore, subsequent revenge in such cases is often not so much the deterrence of evil as its unwinding. Here it is appropriate to recall the words of Mahatma Gandhi, who said that the principle of “an eye for an eye” will make the whole world blind. Therefore, the line between necessary revenge and revenge that generates chain reaction, very thin.
However, in politics, intelligence services, and the criminal world, revenge is very important. She is a manifestation of strength. If you can take revenge, they fear you, they respect you, they take you into account. No aggression, no harm caused by the enemy, no betrayal should go unpunished, otherwise it will be a manifestation of weakness, which, as you know, provokes the aggressor to display even greater aggression. Therefore, from this point of view, revenge is not so much an insult as a completely practical action, the practicality of which lies in the fact that your enemies and ill-wishers see strength in you and therefore reckon with you. But despite the practical side of revenge, it is not always useful and not always necessary. Let's now see in what cases it is better to refuse it.
Why shouldn't you take revenge?
We will now look at the arguments against revenge. Still, in some situations it is possible and necessary to take revenge, but in others, it is better to refuse revenge. The first and main argument against revenge is meaning. You just have to understand what you will gain and what you will lose if you take revenge on someone. The pros must outweigh the cons. In some situations, revenge leads to the fact that the life of the person who took revenge only becomes worse. And it turns out that such revenge harms not only the offender, but also the one who takes revenge. And if the avenger’s harm is quite significant, then such revenge makes no sense. And it’s simply important to always understand what you will get if you take revenge, what benefit your revenge will bring you. If even this doesn’t make your soul feel any better, for one reason or another, then why even waste your life on revenge? There is no need to think about those whom you are taking revenge on - think first of all about yourself. Evil in this world will still not disappear anywhere, it will always be there, but you seem to have only one life, and it is wiser to make efforts to make it better, rather than strive to make the lives of others worse.
The next point is resources. Revenge requires a variety of resources, primarily temporary. The better your revenge and the more difficult it is for you to take revenge on a person because of his status and capabilities, the more resources it will require from you. Of course, you can always take advantage of an opportunity and take revenge on a person easily and quickly, without much effort, taking advantage of his weakness, problems, mistakes. But, of course, one cannot count on such cases. So if you take revenge purposefully, deliberately and effectively, it will require certain resources. Taking this into account, we can say that the game is not always worth the candle. Because you can use the same resources to improve your life and expand your capabilities, and not on meaningless revenge. And having great opportunities, you will gain power over people and, if necessary, will be able to get even with those of them who once caused you harm. So in this sense, the best revenge on your offenders and enemies will be your success in life, which will make you strong and most importantly happy.
But an even more powerful argument against revenge is your understanding that you should not and are not obligated to take revenge. You see, you don’t have to. No one has the right to dissuade you from revenge, and no one has the right to call you to it. You and only you decide whether to take revenge on you or not - this is your personal choice. Do as you want, as you feel comfortable, and don’t think about other people’s opinions on this matter. Others can do what is convenient and what they need, but you do what is convenient for you. And if you want to take revenge on someone, then ask yourself just one question: why would you do this? Not why, but precisely why? That is, don’t look to the past - don’t bring up your grievances and don’t use them as motivation for revenge, you can get rid of them in other ways - look to the future and say what will your revenge give you? If you see benefit for yourself in it, take revenge. If not, you don’t need to force yourself to do it.
How to take revenge?
If you have decided to take revenge on those who once caused you some harm, offended, insulted, humiliated you, then you need to understand how to do it correctly. You can take revenge on the offenders different ways, depending on who exactly harmed you. It is important to understand the main thing: revenge is a dish that should be served cold, as the Italian proverb says. The cooler your mind is, the more seriously you will approach this matter and the more successful your revenge will be. Therefore, there is no need to rush with revenge. Time is on your side. The longer your offender goes unpunished, the more he will relax and lose his vigilance. Meanwhile, you will develop an impeccable plan for revenge, which you will then implement.
Revenge also requires a person to be flexible. If you act straightforwardly, you risk failure, the consequences of which may be such that you may lose all opportunities for revenge. Therefore, you are looking for different opportunities to take revenge - the more there are, the better. Study your enemy, find him weak sides, find out what makes him strong - high position in society, reliable sources of income, connections with influential people, etc. All these supports can and will need to be shaken in order to weaken this person. It is especially important to find out what is the most valuable thing in life for your offender, the most precious thing that he is afraid of losing - this is the target, hitting which, you are guaranteed to cause him significant harm, which means you will be able to take revenge. Usually, what is most valuable to a person in life, he carefully hides and protects, since this is his weakness. And you need to find this weakness and strike at it. It’s like Koshchei’s death, which is hidden in an egg - if you find the egg, you will be able to defeat Koshchei, that is, take revenge on your offender.
Your revenge doesn't have to be a mirror image. Take revenge as best you can, and not in the way that conventionally would be right to take revenge. Asymmetrical actions are often much more effective than a symmetrical retaliatory strike, for which you simply may not have enough resources and capabilities. So, for an eye, you can demand not only an eye, but for a tooth, not only a tooth. You can also use the enemies of your abuser for your own purposes. To do this, you will need to identify them and then either enter into an alliance with them, according to the principle: the enemy of my enemy is my friend, or simply help them in various ways to harm your offender, for example, by secretly or openly supplying them useful information about him. So you can take revenge with the wrong hands. Keep in mind that the higher a person's position in society, the more enemies he has. And the weakness of these enemies, as a rule, lies in their lack of cohesion. But if you help them combine their efforts, then they will be able to cope even with a very powerful person. In general, I want to note that revenge carried out by the wrong hands is the most best revenge. Playing your enemies against each other or setting someone against your offender so that he harms him, instead of harming him with your own hands, means successfully taking revenge and remaining clean at the same time. In general, there can be many options for revenge. Therefore, always look for the option that is most convenient for you. It doesn’t matter what it looks like—revenge doesn’t have to be beautiful and conventionally fair—it has to be accomplished so that you forget about it.
Thus, friends, if you still decide to take revenge, then approach this matter creatively. Be sure to calm down your emotions and use your head to do everything right and get the result you want. Use manipulation to make revenge hidden and unexpected, and also to use other people, including enemies of your enemy, in this matter. I don’t presume to judge whether it’s right or wrong; taking revenge on other people is your own choice and you have to make it. But you must understand that the responsibility for this choice lies with you, and therefore it is you who will deal with the consequences of your decision. You can take revenge by doing everything possible for this, but at the same time make your life worse by losing something and losing in some way. Or you can experience deep and absolute satisfaction from your revenge. You need to be mentally prepared for both of these consequences.
Unpleasant characteristics of vindictive people
In 2008, the magnificent drama film “Gone” was released. He shocked the audience. The film tells the story of a young man, Daigo, who has not seen his father since childhood. And I didn’t even remember his face. Daigo harbored a grudge against him for leaving his family when he was very young. Many years later, Daigo meets his father... dead. And only then does he realize that he has forgiven him. Only then does he realize how much he loved and how much he wanted to meet and talk, how often he drew his image and remembered the minutes spent with him.
What has motivated a young man named Daigo all these years? What feelings did you have? Why couldn’t he muster his will and meet with his father? Why couldn’t I forgive, let go of this offense at least in my soul?
Of course, the case with Daigo has its own motives and its own ending. But the fact is that such stories are not uncommon. People carry pain, resentment and anger within themselves for years, thereby destroying myself.
My mom has a friend who had a fight with her sister and I didn’t communicate with her for 8 years. When they passed by, they pretended not to know each other. Their children also did not communicate. It was only years later that they finally made peace. And the first thought that came to their mind was “why didn’t we do this earlier!?”
I have always been interested in this topic because it touched me personally. I quarreled with my cousin, and we haven’t seen or heard from each other for 10 months. I tried to make peace with her, but it was all in vain. I will not describe cause-and-effect relationships here, I will say one thing: all three of these stories are completely different, however, there are similarities. Pride, weakness, stubbornness, resentment, anger? Or all of the above? Why do the people described above behave this way, what are they guided by, what are their priorities, are their characters similar?
Having looked through the literature on the topic of pride, resentment, stubbornness and anger, I discovered something in common. The description matched vindictive people. What can we say about them?
A person's ability to remember emotionally intense events depends on one gene, neurologists from the University of Zurich recently found out. According to Nature, carriers of a certain version of the ADRA2B gene are much better at remembering both positively and negatively emotional events.
Researchers in Germany have concluded that vindictive people are much more likely to experience failure in life. And, conversely, people who know how to forgive are more often lucky.
It turned out that vindictive people have much fewer friends and are almost always dissatisfied with their lives.
It turns out that vindictive people are similar. As a rule, these are people with thin lips, long nose, narrow chin.
The most vindictive from the point of view of astrology are Taurus.
It’s hard to agree, but vindictive people live much longer than “good” people. According to the professor clinical psychology and neurotherapy by Evgeniy Shaposhnikov, vindictive people have well-developed protective psychological mechanisms, for example, repressing the “voice of conscience” from consciousness. The feelings and interests of others are indifferent to them, and this allows them to avoid stress.
So, we can conclude that poor guys are unhappy. The only thing that is controversial is their long life. After all, there is so much bile and negativity inside them. Many vindictive people are constantly waiting for a reason to react to something about which they might feel irritated or anxious - and they never have to wait long. “This is arbitrariness!” they say. “How dare you!”, “This is outrageous!” They are just as tied to bad habit to get upset or angry, like others to a drug. By reacting to this or that, they affirm and strengthen their sense of self.
Grudge is a strong negative emotion , associated with some event, sometimes from the distant past, supported by obsessive thinking, mulling over this story to oneself or out loud like “this is what he did to me” or “this is what he did to us.” Grudges also pollute other areas of life.
It takes honesty to see if you're giving room for resentment..
Don't try to let go of your rancor. When you try to let him go, try to forgive him, it doesn't work. If you see that resentment has no other purpose than to strengthen your false sense of self, then forgiveness happens naturally.
I wish you, right today, right now, to forgive everyone you have hurt. Forgive everyone who has offended you. It’s not for nothing that there are days of forgiveness that call you to this! Truly think before it’s too late, and finally become stronger, because as Gandhi said:
- The weak do not know how to forgive. The ability to forgive is a characteristic of the strong .
Daria SHCHUKINA
Revenge- a very strong feeling that does not bring joy to people. The motivation for revenge is the fight for justice, to give the offender what he deserves, to repay the deed in the same coin. On the one hand, it seems that this is the right feeling and there is nothing bad here, but on the other, when a person begins to realize “his noble impulse,” the following transformation begins to occur in his body.
It all begins with a strong attack of indignation, which is like an internal explosion caused by unexpected and unfair events. The desire for revenge is accompanied by a surge of strength and energy; a devilish fire is ignited inside a person. His pride is hurt. Someone accidentally stepped on a sore spot, not knowing that this person has many complexes and problems and is very vulnerable. He decides to take revenge. He no longer controls himself, because he is completely and completely in the power of this feeling.
Revenge can be considered as a painful condition that fevers the entire body from the brain to the tips of the fingers. It can capture a person like love and force him to do strange things that he will later bitterly regret. Mechanisms for releasing huge amounts of negativity are automatically activated in a person.
Maybe if he had stopped for a minute, cooled down, he would have realized that there was no need to take revenge, since the offender’s act was not worth such a reaction on his part. But this is very difficult to do.
Reasons for revenge
Sometimes the most insignificant reason is enough for revenge. It all depends on the character of the person whose pride is hurt. Each of us has encountered resentment, jealousy, and betrayal in life. These are already more compelling reasons to start taking revenge. It should be noted that if a person lives in harmony with himself and with the surrounding reality, then he will not be offended by all sorts of little things that happen to everyone.
Revenge often goes hand in hand with envy. As you know, people sometimes do very base things out of envy. They may have a desire to take revenge because a colleague is doing much better than they are, for example. This is how insecure people behave, subject to the influence of others.
In our society it is not customary to talk about revenge. As a rule, people decide for themselves what to do in unpleasant situations: take revenge or forgive.
Get over yourself
If someone offended you and this caused a desire for revenge, then you should not be ashamed of this feeling. Your natural self-defense mechanism has activated. But if such a desire arises without apparent reason- this is already a big red flag! In this case, you will have to endure a struggle with yourself so as not to mess things up.
In order not to become an angry and vindictive person, you need to learn to forgive and calculate the consequences of retaliatory revenge. Revenge is a source of great emotional distress for both parties and does not make anyone happy.
Often when conflict arises, revenge may seem like the only solution to the problem. But once you think about what can be changed through revenge, what will be the benefit for you, other than the fact that you will get some satisfaction? It may turn out that after your vengeful attack the situation will get even worse. Maybe it would be easier to resolve the conflict peacefully? Or just ignore your offender?
If you nevertheless decide to take revenge on the offender, then first think about how you will do it and how your counterpart will react to revenge.
The second tip is very important. If you don't want to spend the rest of your days in a prison cell, show respect to the Russian criminal code!
Tip three. Don't choose your loved ones as victims. They don't deserve it.
Tip four. If you have been offended, you do not need to start taking revenge right away. Your “evil genius” is ready for defense. Wait a few days for him to calm down and then take action. Maybe during this timeout you will find more effective way to sweep.
What should you think about?
If vengeance is accomplished, then the soul becomes lighter, since the whole burden has fallen from it in one moment. After this, the person becomes softer and kinder. Later he will want to forgive the offender. If a revenged person has gray matter, then he will understand why he received the “brains” and will draw the appropriate conclusions.
Before we start taking revenge (or not taking revenge), let's stop for a moment and ask ourselves: “Should I take revenge on him? For what? To make him feel bad? To make him feel pain? To show him by example of revenge how he hurt my pride?
Are you sure you need to start this “game”? Think about what your attempt to “establish the status quo” will look like from the outside. Will you feel a sense of bitter regret if something terrible happens after your revenge?
And also, remember the most important thing: only strong people They can be lenient and forgive their opponent, or ignore him as a person. They never allow themselves to stoop to the level of their offenders and do not use dubious methods of revenge.
Revenge has always been considered one of the main driving human emotions. There are at least eight theories to explain why people want revenge.
Firstly, this is the so-called protective function of revenge. According to this theory, acts of revenge convey to the potential aggressor that if attacked, the victim is capable of standing up for himself and striking back. This is how potential victims protect themselves from possible attacks in the future.
Second, it assumes that revenge has a “pleasure-producing function.” The famous psychologist Karen Horney (1885-1952) wrote about the “triumph of revenge” - the feeling of excitement and elation that accompanies the act of revenge and which a person strives for when planning revenge.
Third, revenge “restores pride.”
Fourthly, revenge “helps the subject to reverse the shame and humiliation brought upon him.”
Fifth, it “helps overcome feelings of loss or deprivation.”
Sixth, it “eliminates or reduces the painful aspects of sadness about failure.” Italian psychiatrist Franco Fornari (1921 - 1985) wrote about the “paranoid development of sadness”, which suppresses mental suffering through aggression.
Seventh, revenge “enhances the subject’s sense of self-worth.” As psychiatrist Salman Akhtar writes: “Although revenge is often considered socially unacceptable, in some cases it has a beneficial effect on victims of injustice. The act of revenge transforms the victim from a passive observer into an active actor. This gives him a sense of control and enhances his sense of self-worth.”
Eighth, revenge “lets you release your anger.” Psychiatrist David Lotto writes that in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the United States, there was a widespread reaction of resentment and a desire for revenge: “While many grieved, became despondent and felt a sense of loss, what was most surprising was the subsequent high level indignation. Most of the anger was expressed in the form of intellectual discussions, but its power and tension were very palpable."
