The significance of the wedding ceremony for a couple - is it necessary to get married in a church, and can the sacrament of a wedding strengthen the relationship? What does a wedding in a church give: for the family, spouses, for the person himself, what is the meaning of the sacrament

Natalya Kaptsova - practitioner of integral neuroprogramming, expert psychologist

Reading time: 11 minutes

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A Christian family appears solely with the blessing of the Church, which unites lovers into one during the sacrament of wedding. Unfortunately, for many today the sacrament of wedding has become a fashionable necessity, and before the ceremony, young people think more about finding a photographer than about fasting and the soul.

Why is a wedding actually necessary, what does the ceremony itself symbolize, and how is it customary to prepare for it?

The significance of the wedding ceremony for a couple - is it necessary to get married in a church, and can the sacrament of a wedding strengthen the relationship?

“Now we’ll get married, and then no one will separate us, not even a single infection!” Many girls think when choosing a wedding dress for themselves.

Of course, to some extent, a wedding is a talisman for the love of spouses, but first of all, the basis of a Christian family is the commandment of love. A wedding is not a magic session that will ensure the inviolability of a marriage, regardless of their behavior and attitude towards each other. The marriage of Orthodox Christians needs a blessing, and it is consecrated by the Church only during the sacrament of wedding.

But the realization of the need for a wedding should come to both spouses.

Video: Wedding - how to do it right?

What does a wedding give?

First of all, the grace of God, which will help the two build their union in harmony, give birth and raise children, live in love and harmony. Both spouses must clearly understand at the time of the sacrament that this marriage is for life, “through thick and thin.”

The rings worn by spouses during engagement and walking around the lectern symbolize the eternity of the union. The oath of fidelity, which is given in the temple before the face of the Almighty, is more important and powerful than the signatures on the marriage certificate.

It is important to understand that it is possible to dissolve a church marriage only in 2 cases: upon the death of one of the spouses - or deprivation of his mind.

Who cannot get married in the Orthodox Church?

The Church does not marry couples who are not legally married. Why is the stamp in a passport so important for the Church?

Before the revolution, the Church was also part of the state structure, whose functions also included registration of births, marriages, and deaths. And one of the duties of the priest was to conduct research - is the marriage legal, what is the degree of relationship of the future spouses, are there any problems with their psyche, and so on.

Today, registry offices deal with these issues, so the future Christian family brings a marriage certificate to the Church.

And this certificate must indicate exactly the couple who is going to get married.

Are there reasons for refusing a wedding - absolute obstacles to a church marriage?

The couple will definitely not be allowed to attend the wedding if...

The marriage is not legalized by the state. The Church considers such relationships to be cohabitation and fornication, and not marital and Christian.
The couple is in the 3rd or 4th degree of lateral consanguinity.
The spouse is a clergyman, and he has taken holy orders. Also, nuns and monks who have already taken vows will not be allowed to attend the wedding.
The woman is a widow after her third marriage. 4th church marriage is strictly prohibited. Weddings will also be prohibited for the 4th civil marriage, even if the church marriage is the first. Naturally, this does not mean that the Church approves of entering into a 2nd and 3rd marriage. The Church insists on eternal fidelity to each other: it does not publicly condemn double and triple marriage, but considers it “impurity” and does not approve. However, this will not become an obstacle to the wedding.
The person entering into a church marriage is guilty of a previous divorce, and the reason was adultery. Re-marriage will be allowed only upon repentance and fulfillment of the imposed penance.
There is an inability to marry (note - physical or spiritual), when a person cannot express his will freely, is mentally ill, etc. Blindness, deafness, diagnosis of childlessness, illness are not reasons for refusing a wedding.
Both - or one of the couple - have not reached the age of majority.
The woman is over 60 years old, and the man is over 70. Alas, highest limit for weddings also exists, and such a marriage can only be approved by the bishop. Age over 80 is an absolute barrier to marriage.
There is no consent to the marriage from Orthodox parents on both sides. However, to this condition The Church has long been lenient. If it is not possible to obtain a parental blessing, the couple receives it from the bishop.

And a few more obstacles to church marriage:

A man and a woman are related to each other.
There is a spiritual relationship between those entering into marriage. For example, between godparents and godchildren, between godparents and parents of godchildren. Marriage between a godfather and godmother of one child is possible only with the blessing of the bishop.
If the adoptive parent wants to marry his adopted daughter. Or if the adopted son wants to marry the daughter or the mother of his adoptive parent.
Lack of mutual agreement in the couple. A forced marriage, even a church one, is considered invalid. Moreover, even if the coercion is psychological (blackmail, threats, etc.).
Lack of community of faith. That is, in a couple both must be Orthodox Christians.
If one of the couple is an atheist (even if he was baptized in childhood). Simply “standing” nearby at the wedding will not work - such a marriage is unacceptable.
The bride's period. You need to choose the wedding day in accordance with your cycle calendar, so that you don’t have to reschedule it later.
A period of 40 days after birth. The Church does not prohibit getting married after the birth of a baby, but you will have to wait 40 days.

Well, in addition, there are relative obstacles to getting married in each specific church - you should find out the details right on the spot.

When and how to organize a wedding?

What day should you choose for your wedding?

Pointing your finger at the calendar and choosing your “lucky” number will most likely not work. The Church holds the sacrament of weddings only on certain days - on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays, if they don't fall out...

On the eve of church holidays - great, temple and twelve.
To one of the posts.
For January 7-20.
On Maslenitsa, Cheese Week and Bright Week.
On September 11 and on the eve of it (note - the day of remembrance of the Beheading of John the Baptist).
On September 27 and on the eve of it (note - the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross).

They also don’t get married on Saturday, Tuesday or Thursday.

What do you need to organize a wedding?

Select a temple and talk to the priest.
Choose a wedding day. The days of the autumn harvest are considered the most favorable.
Make a donation (it is made in the temple). There is a separate fee for singers (if desired).
Choose a dress or suit for the groom.
Find witnesses.
Find a photographer and arrange a photo shoot with the priest.
Buy everything you need for the ceremony.
Learn the “script”. You will pronounce your oath only once in your life (God willing), and it should sound confident. In addition, it is better to clarify for yourself in advance how exactly the ritual takes place in order to know what follows what.
And the most important thing is to prepare for the sacrament SPIRITUALLY.

What will you need for your wedding?

Pectoral crosses. Sanctified, of course. Ideally, these are crosses that were received at baptism.
Wedding rings. They must also be blessed by a priest. Previously, gold was chosen for the groom, and gold for the bride. silver ring, as a symbol of the sun and the moon, which reflects its light. Nowadays, there are no conditions - the choice of rings lies entirely with the couple.
Icons : for the spouse - the image of the Savior, for the wife - the image of the Mother of God. These 2 icons are a talisman for the entire family. They should be preserved and passed on by inheritance.
Wedding candles – white, thick and long. They should be enough for 1-1.5 hours of the wedding.
Handkerchiefs for couples and witnesses to wrap the candles from below and not burn your hands with wax.
2 white towels - one for framing the icon, the second - on which the couple will stand in front of the lectern.
Wedding dress. Of course, no “glamor”, an abundance of rhinestones and neckline: choose a modest dress in light shades that does not reveal the back, neckline, shoulders and knees. You can’t do without a veil, but you can replace it with a beautiful airy scarf or hat. If the shoulders and arms remain bare due to the style of the dress, then a cape or shawl is required. Trousers and a bare head for a woman in church are unacceptable.
Scarves for all women those present at the wedding.
A bottle of Cahors and a loaf.

We select guarantors (witnesses).

So, there must be witnesses...

People close to you.
Baptized and believers, with crosses.

Divorced spouses and couples who live in an unregistered marriage cannot be called as witnesses.

If guarantors could not be found, it does not matter, you will be married without them.

Guarantors for a wedding – it’s like God-parents at baptism. That is, they take “patronage” over the new Christian family.

What should not happen at a wedding:

Bright makeup - both for the bride herself and for the guests and witnesses.
Bright outfits.
Extra items in hands (no mobile phones, put the bouquets aside for a while).
Defiant behavior (jokes, conversations, etc. are inappropriate).
No unnecessary noise (nothing should distract from the ceremony).

Remember, that…

The pews in the church are for old or sick people. Be prepared to spend an hour or an hour and a half on your feet.
Mobile phones will have to be turned off.
It is better to arrive at the temple 15 minutes before the start of the ceremony.
It is not customary to stand with your back to the iconostasis.
It is not customary to leave before the end of the sacrament.

Preparing for the sacrament of a wedding in a church - what to keep in mind, how to prepare correctly?

We discussed the main organizational aspects of preparation above, and now – about spiritual preparation.

At the dawn of Christianity, the sacrament of marriage was carried out during the Divine Liturgy. In our time, it is important to share communion, which is celebrated before the beginning of married Christian life.

What does spiritual preparation include?

3 day fast. It includes abstinence from marital relations (even if the spouses have lived together for many years), entertainment and consumption of food of animal origin.
Prayer. 2-3 days before the ceremony, you need to prayerfully prepare for the sacrament in the morning and evening, and also attend divine services.
Mutual forgiveness.
Attending evening service on the eve of the day of communion and reading, in addition to the main prayers, “for Holy Communion.”
On the eve of the wedding, starting from midnight, you cannot drink (even water), eat or smoke.
The wedding day begins with confession (be honest before God, you can’t hide anything from him), prayers during the liturgy and sharing communion.

The site site thanks you for your attention to the article! We will be very pleased if you share your feedback and tips in the comments below.

Rida Khasanova July 28, 2018

Many couples strive not only to legalize their relationship in the registry office, but also to undergo the sacrament of wedding in church. But does everyone understand how serious and responsible this step is? After all, after the ceremony, the souls of the spouses will be together forever, even in heaven.

What is the sacrament of marriage?

The sacrament of wedding is a sacred rite. Its meaning is that two people bare their souls to themselves, to each other and to God and enter into a marriage that recognized not only on earth, but also in heaven.

What is the difference between a wedding and a wedding: the first is the conclusion of a legal marriage announced before society. And the second is people's desire for unity, to create conditions in marriage where love and faith will only strengthen.

The wedding usually takes place in a church, but if you wish, you can also organize an outdoor ceremony, although there will not be any special solemnity in it, as in a temple

Where to start preparing for the wedding: first of all you need come for permission to the priest. Father will explain the essence of the wedding, which is an Orthodox tradition. You shouldn't go through a ritual just to get beautiful pictures or because “it’s necessary.”

Basic rules for those who have decided to get married:

husband and wife must be baptized;
a man and a woman must be married, registered in the registry office;
Before the ritual you need to go to confession and take communion.

What you need to know for those who, for whatever reason, decided to undergo a wedding ceremony abroad:

a wedding held in another country will be recognized as legal in the homeland;
a Christian wedding can only be held in a Christian country;
For a wedding abroad, you will need a baptismal certificate, birth and marriage certificate (depending on the country, the list of documents may vary);
Documents for consideration are submitted no less than a month in advance.

A wedding is only an external ritual, without sincere love and understanding of why this ceremony is needed, it will not have true meaning. First you need to honestly admit to yourself whether there is willingness to share with your spouse all the joys and sorrows, life difficulties. Wedding couples receive great support from the Almighty, but efforts to maintain and strengthen relationships must be made by themselves.

23 Sep 2018 at 4:25 PDT

People often wonder whether an unmarried marriage is fornication - if a man and a woman love each other, are faithful in their relationship and have registered it in the registry office, then they have the right to turn to the wedding when they consider it necessary.

The whole truth is that a righteous life in an unmarried marriage cannot be considered wrong or sinful, and is recognized by the church

There is a misconception that marriage can be debunked. The bishops are meeting the requests of spouses who have separated and are already in relationships with other people, so that they do not fall into even greater sin.

Therefore, to the question, how many times can you get married, the answer is clear - one, - things are incompatible. If such a need arises, how to get married a second time? Need to submit. Only the highest priest, the diocesan bishop, can do this. He looks at the situation and allows chance for a new marriage. The answer may be negative if a person has violated the vow of fidelity made before the Lord.

How does a wedding take place and what is needed for it?

the back, shoulders and chest should be covered; if the dress is open, then you should take care of the wedding cape;
the dress should not be too tight or short;
It is better to choose shoes with low heels, since the wedding lasts about an hour;
the head must certainly be covered with a scarf or veil;

It is important to note that guests must be dressed in accordance with the rules. Revealing clothing and trousers on women are not allowed

The priest before the wedding in the church appoints a fast for the newlyweds: It may take several days or a week. At this time, you need to avoid going to parties, eating meat and having intimate relationships. It is advisable to fill it with reading spiritual books, prayers and attending services in the temple.

‒ there are some days of the year when this is prohibited:

all main 4 posts;
the period between Christmas and Christmastide;
Easter and cheese weeks;
eve of great holidays;
the day of the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord, the Beheading of John the Baptist, as well as the eve of fast days - Tuesday and Thursday.

Orthodox and Catholic Church are close to each other, but still there are several differences, including in the wedding ceremony:

visiting the church is required 3 months before the wedding for a kind of education about marriage according to Catholic rules;
children born in marriage must be raised in the Catholic faith;
special permission is required if people of different faiths are getting married (Jewish, Muslim or with an atheist);
V catholic church You can get married on any day, even during Lent.

How to get married in a Protestant church - the sacrament is very similar to the ritual catholic church. Both the preparation and the process itself are almost identical to each other. The main difference is that at the beginning of the process, the bride enters the church alone or with her father, and the guests and groom are already waiting for her.

There is an interesting rule: alcohol is prohibited at Protestant weddings. As a last resort, you can allow light wine or champagne, but no more

After the opening prayer, the priest asks the newlyweds whether they really agree to get married, and also asks the parents whether they bless their children.

In a Protestant church you can go right into the church: instrumental music, Christian songs are played, guests bring donations to the church, and also receive communion.

You cannot get married in a monastery - this is stated in the statutes of the Orthodox Church. After all, in this place live people who renounced everything worldly, and neither weddings nor baptisms are held in the monastery.

Signs and superstitions associated with weddings

Weddings have always been great importance for people, since previously it was considered the official conclusion of marriage. But now only those couples who have registered their relationship with the registry office can undergo this ritual. Despite this, they are still respected various superstitions.

Signs about wedding clothes:

if a girl puts on a wedding dress before the Sacrament, it may not take place;
before going to church you need attach pins to the clothes of the bride and groom to protect yourself from the evil eye;
If during the ceremony the bride drops her scarf, it means she will be a widow.

Signs associated with the road to wedding:

when the bride leaves for church, the parents need to wash the floor in the house (except for the threshold) so that the wedding does not get upset;
before leaving for church, you are supposed to put a lock under the threshold of the house, when the young people cross it, lock the lock with a key, and throw the key away as far as possible (the lock is kept for life);
you need to go to church one way, and back – another;
For newlyweds going to the wedding, no one should cross the path.

The parents of the newlyweds should not be present at the wedding; they are replaced by godparents. And the relatives, mother and father, remain at home to bless and then meet the married couple

You also need to pay attention to wedding candles, which have great power:

whose candle burns out more during the Sacrament, that of the spouses will be the first to die;
wedding candles should be kept for life, they can also help during difficult childbirth;
If there is a strong crackling sound from the candles during the wedding, it means that the couple’s life will be troubled.

Wedding candles

During the wedding, the spouses swear before God that they will be faithful to each other all their lives - this is an extremely responsible decision. Agree to church sacrament only needed when loving people truly confident in their feelings. You cannot treat this ritual as fashion - otherwise nothing good will come of it. It is better to first live for some time in an ordinary marriage and become convinced of the seriousness of your intentions.

For clarity, watch the beautiful video of the wedding:

After the newlyweds put their signatures at the registry office, many of them go to church to bless their union before God. But what does this sacrament mean, why do people get married and how does it help them in family matters?

Why do people get married in church?

A wedding in the Orthodox religion is a rite of church blessing of marriage. It came to us from pre-Christian Greece, where it was customary to decorate the heads of those getting married with wreaths of flowers as a sign of blessing. The Orthodox Church took this action as a basis and introduced Christian elements into it.

But the wedding did not immediately become part of the wedding for everyone. At first, only emperors and their relatives received this honor. Today, any couple can undergo this ritual.

During the ritual, the Priest reads prayers over the newlyweds, calling on God to help new family and become part of it. Besides:

The Trinity is called upon to help the family; it will protect and help the couple;
Children born to married couples receive a blessing at birth;
It is believed that spouses who have undergone the ceremony are under the protection of God; he himself guides them through life.

That's why many couples come to the Priest, they want strengthen your union, sanctify it and receive support.

But divorce in this case, although acceptable, is considered a great sin. We recommend that you think about this step, whether to decide to ask the Lord for blessings or to wait and check your feelings.

How to prepare for the ritual?

There are some things you need to do conditions, before going to the Priest for a blessing:

It is advisable to start fasting 3 days before the event, more is possible, but three days are required. You should avoid food of animal origin, alcohol, intimacy is also undesirable these days;
As for clothing, a man can choose a regular suit - trousers and a shirt. But the girl will have to choose a suitable dress. It should not expose the knees or chest; light colors are preferred. Many girls wear wedding dresses, but this is not necessary; it is possible to choose others, but modest ones;
A woman's face should not be hidden behind a veil. This symbolizes her openness to God.

This sacrament is performed not any day. The church will give you a specific date. But this definitely will not happen on the eve of great holidays, during fasting, Epiphany and Exaltation, Easter or Holy Week.

In addition, the day of the week is also important. Not suitable for weddings:

Tuesday;
Thursday;
Saturday.

However, if the situation requires it, the Priest has the right to perform the ceremony on prohibited days, and it will be recognized as legal.

How is the wedding going?

Young at first need to get engaged. The engagement begins after the Liturgy, at which the couple is taught the importance of what is happening. Afterwards, the Priest blesses the bride and groom three times, the newlyweds cross themselves three times and receive candles from the minister.

Then the beloved stand in front of the lectern on a pink or white board and confirm to the Holy Father their consent to what is happening. As a sign of acceptance of their consent, three prayers are said to Jesus Christ and the Trinity.

The right hands of the newlyweds are joined by the hand of the minister, and he says prayers for the glory of the newlyweds, for their happiness and health. At this time, the entire procession circles the lectern three times, which means the eternal journey together, which began today for the couple.

At the end, the young people kiss lightly on the lips, approach God’s gates and kiss the icons. That's it, the sacrament is completed. Next, the married couple can go with the guests to the festive table.

In what cases can dethronement be issued?

Orthodoxy is extremely has a negative attitude towards divorce. But there are cases when this cannot be avoided, and in 1918 a list was created possible reasons. Later it was expanded somewhat and today it looks like this:

Treason;
Entering into a new marriage;
Refusal of the Orthodox faith;
Disappearance of one of the spouses for a period of 3 years or more;
Assault;
Incurable mental or venereal diseases;
Alcohol or drug addiction;
Imprisonment;
Performing an abortion without the husband's consent.

Anyone can file a petition to debunk from a couple. You need to come to the temple with the following documents:

Passport;
Wedding certificate;
Divorce certificate;
All kinds of certificates confirming illness or other reasons for debunking.

No rituals are performed on this occasion; the Bishop considers the petition and, if he considers it justified, he will bless the termination.

We answered the question why people get married, told us how the process works and how to prepare for it. But I would like to note that, first of all, mutual respect and understanding must live in a family. If a pair lacks these two important qualities, no blessing will help them.

Video: what is a wedding for?

In this video, Archpriest Evgeny Larionov will tell you why to seal a marriage before God, how important the sacrament of Wedding is for the couple and for the church:

Question: Anyone who has encountered a similar situation, please help me figure it out. The husband’s parents insist on getting married in a church, but they don’t explain why this needs to be done, stubbornly insisting that “it will be better this way.” What does a wedding give?

Wedding ceremony from a cultural point of view

The Slavic chronicles conveyed to us in detail the life of the Russian people, their habits, beliefs, focusing on significant milestones in life. Birth, wedding, and death were outlined by religious ideas, which changed over time, but their essence remained unchanged.

The wedding ceremony among the Slavs was endowed with a magical meaning– protect the newlyweds from damage, the evil eye and evil spirits. The wedding took a long time to prepare, clothes were specially sewn for it, hats, rings, protective dishes were chosen - all actions were aimed at ensuring that the young people lived in abundance and had healthy children.

With the introduction of Christianity in Rus', weddings did not cease to be a sacrament; on the contrary, it was believed that couples married by God would be happy and bear many offspring. A wedding has become a milestone when two people take care not only of each other, but also participate in the birth and upbringing of children, according to Christian canons. The dissolution of a marriage concluded in the church was unacceptable and was regarded as a sin.

What are the benefits of getting married in a church?

IN Soviet times little was known about weddings, but despite the oppression of religion, concepts such as baptism, liturgy, and weddings remained and were revived with renewed vigor at the end of the last century.

The sacrament of weddings began to take place more often, and even married people decided to have a church ceremony in order to become closer to God. Why do young people choose a wedding along with a secular wedding?

The young receive Divine blessing.
A family united by ritual is protected from troubles and avoids troubles.
Spouses receive a protector - God, who does not leave the family in joy and sorrow.

Divine blessing- these are not just words spoken to the young by the priest conducting the ceremony. These are wishes for good and happiness, health and longevity, pronounced by an intermediary - the priest, reinforced by a religious ritual. Marriage in the church is considered a sacrament; marriage becomes sacred and is not subject to divorce.

We must understand that the wedding ceremony does not make people absolutely happy a priori. Despite the fact that such a marriage is made in heaven, it requires daily work in everyday life.

Church wedding− enhances assistance to newlyweds on a spiritual level, gives internal strength to create a friendly family, and helps to realize responsibility for the offspring. Young people understand that they have taken a responsible step by getting married. They ask for and accept Divine help through a wedding and try to live according to spiritual canons.

"Pitfalls" of a wedding

Real life always differs from theory, so an ideal wedding, as a conscious step taken by young people on a spiritual level, does not occur often. Many are attracted by the ambience of the ritual, its solemnity, unusualness, attention, gifts.

Young people are not aware of the main thing - weddings are not a “fashionable trend”. This serious decision that is made on earth is blessed by God. A wedding unites young people, helping them live their lives happily, raise children, meet after death and stay together forever.

Many people ask the question, is a wedding in a church a guarantee? happy life? No, responsibility for actions lies with each person, God only helps to realize how bad or good the action is. The choice remains with the person, this is the complexity of existence. It is difficult not to swear, to forgive, to find a compromise, to give in, to understand the other person. But you can always ask God for help, listen to him, and make the right decision.

Married couples receive the protection and support of divine powers. But it happens that discord comes into the house, spouses begin to quarrel, humiliate each other, and cheat. They forget the vows they made at the wedding, do not hear the promptings of the Almighty, and as a result, their spiritual channels are closed, people become “deaf.”

Anyone who has ever thought about life will be struck by the thought of how far from perfect it is. Decency, morality, behavior in public and private life - everything has changed dramatically. People stopped taking responsibility, stopped working spiritually, trying to shift the decision to God, covering up any actions with him.

Many are sure that a wedding guarantees them grace. Not at all. Happy are those families where love is mature, unselfish, and responsible. Love is work, and God is a helper, guide, protector, teacher. By getting married in a church at the behest of your soul, you accept the help of the Almighty and at the same time make efforts for a happy union.

No one will do anything for the people: husband and wife will have to independently learn to live on the same wavelength, improve themselves, put up with weaknesses, and try to minimize them. God is always on the side of people, he guides and takes care of everyone, for him there are no “bad” and “good”!

Does this mean that only people married in a church can lead a decent life? Of course not. If young people decide to register a marriage in the registry office, their thoughts are pure, they are faithful to each other, and their relationship is built on love and trust, then they can turn to God at the behest of their soul.

For gratitude you do not need a specific place and time; any bright, sincere impulse of thoughts will reach the Almighty and return with grace.

Church wedding is an external ritual, and without real feelings, love and understanding of what is happening, it will not have true meaning.

Before agreeing to the wedding, you need to stop and answer simple questions: Do I love, am I ready to share joy, grief, material difficulties, everyday inconveniences with a person. Getting married in a church is an important step; it will give you the opportunity to open your soul to God, fill it with kindness, and give it to your spouse and future children.

In order for this church sacrament to bring you maximum benefit, you need to work on yourself: reconsider your values and beliefs, conduct

A wedding in a church is a sacred rite that gives a husband and wife a church blessing for a happy family life, birth of children. Many couples decide to celebrate this beautiful and touching event. But in order for the ritual to be not just a tribute to fashion, but to become a serious, deliberate step, it is worth knowing its features.

Important conditions for a wedding

It is allowed to get married on the wedding day or after a period of time: a week, a month, years. The main thing is that all conditions provided by the church are met.

Who can get married?

An important condition for the ceremony is the presence of a marriage certificate. In addition, spouses must be baptized Orthodox Christians. However, in some cases, a wedding may be allowed if the spouse is a non-Orthodox Christian, provided that children born in marriage will be baptized in Orthodoxy. Compliance with the marriageable age is also important: the bride must be 16 years old, the groom - 18. There is no need to be afraid of refusal if the wife is pregnant, since, according to the church, children should be born in a married marriage. The wedding can be held even if the spouses have not received a parental blessing, since it can be replaced by the blessing of the confessor.

There are not many restrictions on the sacrament of marriage. The Church will not approve of the ritual between unbaptized, atheists, blood, and also spiritual relatives, for example, between godparents of the child, between godfather and godson. This ceremony is allowed to be held no more than three times. It is also prohibited to get married if this is already your fourth officially registered marriage.

When is the ceremony allowed?

Often newlyweds decide to get married on the day with the official registration of marriage. But, given that such a sacrament of Orthodoxy is a rather serious step, there is no need to rush into the ceremony: it can be postponed until the birth of a child or carried out after several years of official marriage.

This ritual is not performed every day. Newlyweds are married 4 days a week on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. However, it is worth considering that there are 4 fasts throughout the year, during which church marriages do not include:
- Rozhdestvensky - lasts November 28 - January 6;
- Great - seven weeks before Orthodox Easter;
- Petrov - depends on the date of Easter, lasts from 8 to 42 days;
- Uspensky - lasts from August 14 to August 27.

The church will also refuse to hold weddings on significant days:
- September 11 - Beheading of John the Baptist;
- September 27 - Exaltation of the Holy Cross;
- from January 7 to January 19 - Christmastide;
- on Maslenitsa;
- on Bright Week (the week after Easter).

Even if the day you choose does not fall on the listed dates, it is still better to go to church to clarify everything with the priest. In addition, the bride must calculate so that on the chosen date there will be no “ critical days", since it is impossible to appear in church at this time.

What should precede the wedding ceremony?

It is necessary to prepare spiritually for this ritual. This means that before the wedding the bride and groom need to pray, confess, take communion, and undergo a three-day fast (it is necessary to abstain from food of animal origin). Newlyweds should not enter into carnal relations before marriage, and this condition also applies to a couple who decide to get married a few years later life together. They need to refrain from intimate relationships for several days before the ceremony.

Preparation for the sacrament of wedding

Choosing a church, communicating with a priest

To decide where to get married, you can go to different churches and choose the church where you feel most comfortable. For a magnificent, solemn ceremony, a large cathedral is suitable, for a quiet, secluded ceremony - a small church. Since the priest is an important character in the ritual, it is worth taking a responsible approach to his choice.

You must register for the wedding ceremony in advance (several weeks in advance). It is also worth discussing with the priest in advance all the issues: the duration of the wedding, what you need to bring with you, whether photography can be carried out, etc. It is worth considering that this is a paid ceremony, but in some churches its exact cost is established, in others voluntary donations are provided. This issue should also be discussed with the priest. Moreover, they often provide “ Additional services", For example, bell ringing, church choir.

Selection of guarantors

Two guarantors (witnesses) are usually chosen from close relatives. It is worth considering that they must be baptized. It is not allowed to take divorced spouses or a couple living in an illegal, “civil” marriage as guarantors. Their spiritual responsibilities are similar to those of godparents: they must spiritually guide the family they are creating. Therefore, it is not customary to invite young people who are not familiar with married life to be guarantors. If difficulties arise when searching for witnesses, it is possible to carry out the sacrament of wedding without them.

Choosing an outfit

Bride

The bride's wedding dress should not be higher than her knees, should cover her shoulders and preferably her arms, and should not have a deep neckline (you can use long gloves, a cape, a bolero, an openwork shawl, a stole, etc.). It is advisable to give preference to light colors along with dark and bright ones (purple, blue, black) should be abandoned. Sundresses and trouser suits are not suitable for the ceremony. The bride must cover her head. Considering that during the ceremony the newlyweds wear church crowns (crowns), you should not cover the bride’s head with a large hat, as it will look inappropriate.
You can wear any shoes, but when choosing them, you should take into account that you will have to stand in them for quite a long time, so it is better to avoid uncomfortable high-heeled shoes. To decide on a hairstyle, it is advisable to check with the priest in advance whether the crowns will be placed on the head or will be held by guarantors. The bride's makeup should not be too noticeable; it is also worth remembering that it is forbidden to kiss a crown, cross, or icon with painted lips.
It is believed that a wedding dress cannot be given or sold. It must be stored together with baptismal shirts, wedding candles, and icons.
Groom
For a wedding, the groom will wear a formal suit. There are no special prohibitions regarding the color of the suit. You should not come to church in casual, denim, sportswear. The groom should not have a hat.
Guests
Guests entering the temple must comply with the requirements for all parishioners: for women - clothing closed type, hats, trouser suits are not recommended, for men - formal clothing, without a headdress.
In addition, all participants and those present at the wedding ceremony: the bride, groom, guarantors and guests must wear crosses.

What to prepare for the ceremony

For the wedding you will need:
- rings that must be given to the priest before the ceremony for consecration;
- wedding candles;
- wedding icons (images of Christ and the Virgin Mary);
- a white towel (the newlyweds will stand on it during the ceremony);
- two scarves (to hold candles).

The towel on which the bride and groom stood during the wedding in the temple symbolizes the path of life, so it must be kept and not given to anyone. You should also store wedding candles, which can be lit during difficult childbirth or illness of children.

Photographer's choice

It is important to note that making a video or photographing a wedding ceremony is not allowed in all churches. Therefore, it is worth discussing this issue with the priest in advance. Considering that the lighting in churches is specific, it is advisable to choose a professional photographer who will take into account the nuances of shooting, will be able to choose the right angles, and take high-quality photographs that convey the atmosphere of the temple and the grandeur of the wedding ceremony.

Wedding ceremony

This ritual includes engagement and wedding. It is worth considering that during the ceremony the priest must call the newlyweds by the names that were given to them at baptism (sometimes they differ from the names “in the world”). Engagement passes at the entrance to the church. The bride should stand to the left of the groom. The priest blesses the newlyweds and hands over lit wedding candles, which must be held until the end of the service. After prayer he changes three times wedding rings from a man's hand to a woman's hand. After this they become the bride and groom.

Wedding is held in the center of the temple, where the bride and groom will stand on a white towel. During the ceremony, the priest reads prayers, and the guarantors hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. After answering the priest’s questions, “Is the wedding performed of one’s own free will?” “Are there any obstacles?” and reading prayers, the newlyweds become spouses before God. Now they can kiss their crowns and drink wine from a cup in three doses, which symbolizes family life with joys and sorrows. After the priest leads them around the lectern and leads them to the Royal Doors, the husband kisses the icon of Christ, and the wife kisses Mother of God. Now guests can congratulate the newlyweds.

Remember that a wedding is not just a memorable, bright holiday, but also a very important step that should be taken once in a lifetime. It is possible to divorce (debunk) spouses only under serious circumstances, with the permission of the diocese. Therefore, the union of one’s life before God and the sacrament of wedding itself should be approached seriously, with understanding and taking into account all traditions and rules.