Almost all parents sooner or later face the disobedience of their children. It is necessary to identify the cause and effect of the whims and tantrums of your child. Most often, the behavior of a child can be corrected, but only by changing the principles of education.
The nervous state of the baby implies increased excitability, behavioral changes during sleep and wakefulness, hysteria, and frequent irritation.
Communication with a capricious child can be very difficult.
It is difficult for parents to remain calm when the child reacts to any request with hysteria. But most of all, this behavior harms the baby himself.
Nervous children are not able to adequately communicate with peers, enjoy life and play carefree.
Scientists and doctors believe that improper upbringing at a very early age is the cause of the manifestation of neuroses in children.
There is a direct connection between a child's bad behavior and his nervous state. It is very difficult to identify the true culprit of the situation. Both parents and children themselves indirectly influence each other.
The main reasons for child disobedience include:
- Attracting the attention of adults
- Excessive custody of children
With a lack of affection and care, the child instinctively begins to provoke parents to a vivid display of emotions.
The child's brain immediately notices that when committing any offense, parents instantly turn all their attention to it.
A child who is surrounded by constant control and prohibitions cannot be independent.
In order to defend his point of view and expand the zone of free action, the baby begins to show disobedience.
- Child resentment, even the most insignificant at an adult glance, leave an indelible mark on his soul
- Toddler disorderwhen he cannot independently carry out something planned
- Loss of self-confidence
- Unhealthy family environment
- Lack of vocabulary and incorrect expression of emotions
- The presence of mental disorders and pathologies of the nervous system.
With strong quarrels between parents, with thoughtless deception of the child or with the wrong behavior of others, children may have a desire to take revenge.
This is especially true for things that are easily done by others.
With frequent humiliation and twitching of the child, quibbles and admonitions, in the absence of praise and kind words, the baby's self-esteem is greatly reduced. Comparison with other children also negatively affects the psyche.
With frequent quarrels between parents, shouts and insults, the anxiety of young family members increases, isolation develops and disobedience manifests itself.
It can be difficult for young children to express their thoughts and feelings correctly.
The model of children's behavior is closely related to psycho-emotional development. Only with serious neurological diseases can disobedience be considered a disease.
In all other cases, the whims and tantrums of the baby should prompt parents to reconsider their parenting methods. If you suspect that there is hyperactivity, consult a pediatric neurologist, he will be able to determine if there is a violation in your case.
In the next article we will tell you what it is.
Causes and symptoms of childhood neuroses
The children's nervous system has not yet been formed, so it easily succumbs to various disorders and diseases.
The attention of parents should immediately focus on the inexplicable whims of their child.
Tantrums and disobedience should be a reason for action.
Resentment, lack of attention and mental stress accumulate and gradually turn into painful neurosis in the child.
Doctors believe that a mental disorder of a child in various stressful situations leads precisely to neurosis. This condition causes inappropriate actions of the baby.
Expert opinion
Parents should pay special attention to the behavior of the child at the age of mental formation. These are ages 2 to 4, 5 to 8 and adolescence.
Usually neuroses appear in the region of 5-6 years. But the first warning signs can be observed much earlier.
The main causes of mental illness in children include:
- Psychologically difficult situations that injure the nervous system.
- Severe psychological impact, which caused the child's fright.
- Lack of attention and parental care.
- Rigidity and excessive severity of education.
- Relationships between adults and the emotional background within the family.
- Jealousy caused by the appearance of a younger child.
This can be an adaptation period in society and the associated difficulties of communication, parental quarrels.
Or frequent overexcitation of the nervous system.
External events taking place around the baby can also cause neuroses. Take care of the child's nervous system!
The first symptoms indicating the presence of a disease of the nervous system:
- Anxiety, unfounded fears, tearfulness
- Troubled sleep (with frequent awakenings, difficulty falling asleep)
- Cough
- Speech problems (stuttering)
- Digestive problems, stool disorders
- Difficulties in interacting with people
Excessive excitability and aggressiveness, the withdrawn behavior of the baby is a wake-up call for adults.
Expert opinion
Klimenko Natalia Gennadievna - psychologist
Practicing psychologist at the municipal antenatal clinic
It is advisable to immediately contact a specialist with such questions. He will explain to you what to do to strengthen the nervous system. Passive behavior of parents is fraught with more serious development of the disease.
In the future, such children have difficulties in life: lack of communication skills, indecision, fear of difficult problems.
If the usual rhythm of life is disturbed by the child's disobedience and tantrums, then you should seek help.
Comprehensive problem solving will help the child in normal psychological development.
Nervous tics in a child: signs and causes
A nervous tic in a baby is an involuntary movement of a muscle group, which he is not able to control.
According to doctors, every fifth child experiences short-term stuttering at least once in their life.
In 10% of children, the disease is chronic.
Such horrifying numbers indicate that a large number of children and adolescents suffer from communication difficulties, complexes and self-doubt.
The problem is very serious and causes a lot of negative consequences, especially in adulthood.
There are three main types of children's nervous tics:
- Ritual.
- Motor.
- Vocal.
Gritting teeth, scratching parts of the body (ears, nose), hair pulling.
Involuntary grimaces (frequent blinking, frowning eyebrows), lip bite, twitching limbs.
These include all involuntary sounds (hiss, coughing, grunting, and others).
Nervous tics can also be classified according to their degree of manifestation.:
- Local
- Plural
With the action of only one muscle group.
The movements are performed by several muscle groups at once.
Ticks are also categorized by type of occurrence.
The primary course of the disease can be caused by:
- Lack of beneficial trace elements in the body with an unbalanced diet.
- Psycho-emotional problems.
- Drinking a lot of drinks that affect the nervous state.
- Hereditary predisposition.
- Excessive tiredness.
- Brain injuries and neoplasms
- Nervous system pathologies
- Encephalitis
Have you noticed signs of a nervous tic in a child?
YesNot
In 50% of cases, a nervous tic is transmitted from parents to children
A secondary type of nervous tic can develop if there are problems:
The illness affects the child's sleep. Children find it more difficult to fall asleep and sleep restlessly.
If you are desperate to find a common language with your child, then you should definitely read Julia Gippenreiter's books “The Most Important Book for Parents” or “Communicate with Your Child. How?"
Also, methods of resolving conflict situations are described in great detail in the books of another child psychologist - Lyudmila Petranovskaya: “If it is difficult with a child” and “Secret support. Affection in a child's life ”. These books are real bestsellers and have helped bring peace back to many families, so give it a try.
Treatment of a nervous tic
The appearance of a nervous tic in a child should alert parents. It is necessary to see a doctor if the following symptoms are observed:
For the effective treatment of a nervous tic, it is necessary to create a favorable and calm home environment, organize the correct daily routine, long walks, sports, and a balanced diet.
Herbal decoctions are used as folk remedies: chamomile, motherwort, valerian, hawthorn.
Expert opinion
Klimenko Natalia Gennadievna - psychologist
Practicing psychologist at the municipal antenatal clinic
Treatment of the disease depends on age. In children from 3 to 6 years old, the course of the disease will be unpredictable. Even with the recovery and disappearance of symptoms, it is necessary to monitor the child's condition daily, until the end of adolescence.
The appearance of tics in babies under the age of 3 is especially dangerous. This is possible in the presence of serious illnesses.
Tics that start in children 6 to 8 years old are the easiest to treat and usually do not show up anymore.
Raising nervous children
Effective treatment of neuroses in children can be carried out only in the complex interaction of a doctor and parents.
Special therapies, medication and adult help will help relieve your baby of a nervous breakdown.
The child will stop experiencing shyness and embarrassment, will become more active and cheerful.
Parents' work in this matter is very important. It is necessary to provide a comfortable environment for the child, to find out the causes of nervous breakdowns.
Squeezed into the strict framework of upbringing, a child must receive his share of independence. You should not control every step of the baby. Every mom needs to prioritize timing correctly.
You can set aside a certain hour or two a day when she will be fully focused on communicating with her child.
It is the responsibility of every parent to bring up a normal, psychologically healthy child. A harmonious and calm environment will allow you to grow a person with a healthy nervous system from a baby.
Crises in children
Problems in communication between adults and children arise at certain periods when the child's psyche is most susceptible to negative influence.
There are 4 periods of crisis:
- From 1 to one and a half years.
- 2.5 to 3 years old.
- 6 to 7 years old.
- After 10 years.
A small person is not able to combine his desires and capabilities.
The manifestation of excessive independence in a child, which he cannot cope with, due to his age.
This period is closely connected with going to school for the first time. Understanding the difficult state of the child, the patience and attention of the parents will help the child cope with the first steps in adulthood.
The period of adolescence, associated with youthful maximalism, is close. A clear desire to divide the whole world into "good" and "bad".
Parents will need utmost honesty in communication, respect for the little person and patience.
There is no clear division of crises by age. In each case, the child develops individually. And these or those actions appear at different times.
"Difficult" children
In certain life situations, obedient children turn into capricious little tyrants.
Do you manage to stay calm while punishing your child?
NotYes
The even and calm tone of adults, even when punishing a child, is of great importance.
By your example, you can convince the kid to do the right thing.
The words “do as I say” are not useful for children. The behavior of the baby is always a reflection of the behavior of the parents.
Children can already argue their actions, and parents must make it clear that discussion of the problem is always possible.
It is important to say them so that the baby learns.
By controlling their behavior and regularly reviewing situations of disobedience, parents can easily cope with raising children.
Doctor Komarovsky about naughty children
According to the famous doctor Komarovsky, the correct and unbending behavior of adults, consistency and their adherence to principles, allows you to correct even the most disobedient and noisy child.
Having steadfastly endured children's tantrums, and not succumbing to manipulation, the baby will soon realize that he cannot achieve anything by screaming.
Raising children is a complex process that requires the full commitment of all family members. Competent and trusting building of relationships, calmness and patience of parents, will allow re-educating even the most disobedient and irritable baby.
How to prevent a nervous breakdown in a child? What are the symptoms? What parenting mistakes lead to a nervous breakdown in a child? This and much more in this article.
Breakdowns in children
Life constantly puts its "natural experiments" over us. Neuro-mental health depends on how strong our nervous system is, how trained it is for various kinds of surprises. The most difficult thing in this regard is for young children. The higher parts of their nervous system are still immature, are in the stage of formation, the protective mechanisms of the brain are imperfect, therefore, a breakdown can easily occur, a neurotic disorder can develop. Wrong methods of upbringing, parents' ignorance of the possibility of a nervous breakdown in a child with overstrain of an irritable or inhibitory process or their mobility often lead to sad results.
Let us explain with specific examples.
- The child was frightened by a dog rushing at him, he began to stutter. (There is an overstrain of the irritable process).
- The mother forced her three-year-old daughter to eat, threatening with a belt. The girl could not stand the semolina porridge, but "restrained" herself, ate hard, fearing punishment. As a result of overstrain of the inhibitory process, she developed anorexia - aversion to food and nervous vomiting.
- The family fell apart. The husband began a legal battle for the right to raise his son. The boy loved both his father and his mother and did not want to part with either of the parents. And father and mother alternately slandered each other, humiliated each other. As a result of the overstrain of the mobility of the nervous processes, their collisions, the child developed nighttime fears.
Causes of a nervous breakdown in children
Upbringing errors are one of the main causes of children's nervous diseases. However, they are not necessarily the result of neglect or any malicious intent. Not at all. In a number of cases, if not in most cases, they are committed because the parents do not know the mental, physiological, age characteristics inherent in the child, and also because they do not always try to understand the reasons for this or that baby's action.
EXAMPLE:
Vova grew up as a very inquisitive boy. He asked so many questions in a day that one day his grandmother threatened him: “If you don’t shut up and call Baba Yaga, she will take you to the forest”. - "And I will run away!" - "You will not run away, she will enchant you, your legs will be taken away." At this time they called. "You see," said the grandmother and went to open the door. The postman entered the room, an old woman, gray-haired and covered with wrinkles. Vova understood immediately; baba yaga! He noticed with horror that Baba Yaga was looking directly at him. “I don’t want to go to the forest!” The boy wanted to scream, but his voice was gone. He decided to run away to another room, but his legs did not work, they were "taken away." Vova fell to the floor. They called an ambulance. The boy was admitted to the hospital. He could neither walk nor speak, he lay all the time with his eyes tightly shut.
We've only told you about one fairly personal case of adult misconduct that led to a nervous breakdown. Intimidation also occurs of this order; "If you misbehave, your aunt doctor will give you an injection," or "I'll give you to my uncle, the policeman," or "You won't obey, the dog will take you away." a doctor who comes to a sick child terrifies him. "Buka", which was frightened by the parents, comes to the baby at night in a dream, and he wakes up in the country, screams, for a long time he cannot calm down. Fear as a result of intimidation often causes a stressful situation, becomes the cause of a neurotic reaction. In unprepared impressionable children (with weakened nervous processes), even the appearance of "mummers" at a children's matinee, the aggressiveness of a wild animal in a zoo, an acute experience when performing trapeze artists in a circus can cause fear.
EXAMPLE:
Yura got to the New Year's party for the first time in his life. He liked everything at the holiday. He looked with amazement at the huge Christmas tree in the middle of the hall, all in sparkles, toys, garlands, in multi-colored lights. Near the Christmas tree, Santa Claus led a round dance with the children. Yura, at first timid, grew bolder, came closer to the round dance. Funny lop-eared hares were jumping around him, a red fox ran past. Suddenly Yura noticed how a big brown bear came out from behind the tree, waddling from foot to foot, spreading its paws, - "absolutely true". The bear went to Yura. Now he is quite close, now he has raised his paws over Yura. The boy noticed terrible claws. And he screamed shrilly, rushed to the first door he came across. The door was locked. Then he hung on the handle, fell, began to beat his head and hands on the floor.
Of course, completely unforeseen circumstances can also cause fear, for example, a natural disaster - an earthquake, fire, thunderstorm, car accident. However, in addition to intimidation, in addition to intimidation, incorrect or insufficient explanations of certain phenomena and situations are most often the cause of frightening. For example, a child is taken to the zoo. Why not explain to him that there are animals, both good, kind, and wild, terrible. Then it is unlikely that an aggressive reaction of, say, a tiger will cause unexpected fright in a child. And, of course, children are completely unprepared for the scandals of their parents, especially those that come to gross insults and even fights. The ugly behavior of the drunk father is also a super strong irritant.
Factors causing a nervous breakdown in young children:
- Acute unexpected fright.
- A long-term traumatic situation that gradually causes stress, leads to a collision and a nervous breakdown.
Such a traumatic factor can be both an unfavorable situation in the family and the different views of parents on upbringing. For example, the father is overly strict, punishes over trifles, while the mother, on the contrary, is inferior to the child in everything. In addition, parents in the presence of the baby argue about the methods of education. The father cancels the mother's decision, and the mother, secretly from the father, allows the child not to follow his instructions and orders. As a result, the child's nervous processes collapse, and the feeling of security and confidence disappears.
Prevention of nervous breakdowns in preschool children
With the wrong methods of upbringing, children can develop undesirable character traits and bad habits.
The task of educators of babies is to instill in children a desire for good and to form the qualities necessary for life in a team. But one should also, and this is very often forgotten, to take care of raising a mentally balanced person, with a strong nervous system, capable of overcoming difficulties.
Taking care of the child's nervous system begins from the first days of his life. We will not talk about the importance of a regime, a balanced diet, and the fulfillment of hygienic requirements. All this is more or less known to the parents. They are less aware of the correct parenting techniques that help the formation of a healthy nervous system in a child.
Examples of life situations
Imagine a train compartment. A family is traveling - mother, father and seven-year-old son. “Caring” parents continuously “educate” the boy: they reward him with cuffs and slaps almost every time he moves and for a variety of reasons, and sometimes for no reason. You can't predict what he'll get the next slap on the head for.
The boy, apparently, was accustomed to such treatment, he did not cry, but seemed completely wild, was excited, fussy. Every now and then he broke off and began to rush along the corridor, pushing passengers aside, grabbing and touching what was not allowed, once he almost opened the brake valve. For all this, he received an appropriate bribe. But he was pulled back even when he did not do anything illegal.
As it turned out, the boy was not at all stupid: he showed natural curiosity at his age. And yet in front of it is clearly a sick child.
And here is another example: three-year-old Misha, seeing how other children do it, fell to the floor and began to pound his feet when his mother refused to fulfill his wish. The mother stood and calmly looked at her son. But Misha did not stop roaring, and this is very harmful for the nervous system.
Then my mother said:
Misha, you will stain your new suit. Take a newspaper, spread it and then you can lie on it.
Misha stopped crying, got up, took the newspaper, spread it out, and while he was doing this, he had already forgotten why he had to kick and shout; lying quietly, he got up. Since then, Misha, every time he began to be capricious, was reminded to spread a newspaper before lying on the floor. And while he was doing this, he was already calming down, and there was no need to go to bed.
We gave these two examples just for comparison: in the first case, the "pedagogical methods" of the parents led to a nervous illness of the child, in the second - the calm and even attitude of the mother, her upbringing methods, thought out taking into account the individual characteristics of her neat Mishenka, prevented the development of his whims, nervousness.
Let's go back to the first example. What exactly brought the child into a state of nervous excitement? Contradictory demands of the parents, that is, in the language of physiologists, "collision of nervous processes": the boy received a definite order from one of the parents and immediately the opposite demand of the other.
The disorderly orders caused the same chaotic state in his nervous system. The incessant painful irritations also undoubtedly had a harmful effect on his nervous system.
Let's add to these convincing words that fear and pain upset the nervous system.
The well-known psychiatrist S.S.Korsakov wrote that age determines instability and vulnerability of the nervous system, which is specific for each period of life, as a result of which painful phenomena are caused by reasons that are especially strong at this age.
Preschool age has peculiar features that leave an imprint on the child's neurotic manifestations.
A characteristic feature is the predominance of feelings over reason. This makes the child especially vulnerable and susceptible to nervous shocks. From the point of view of adults, the reasons for these shocks sometimes seem insignificant, but they seem completely different to the child. Children are not yet able to fully comprehend the impressions received and evaluate them rationally. Hence the so-called childhood fears so often encountered in children, sometimes turning into a state of neurosis. Children are afraid of everything unknown and incomprehensible.
Children suffer when they cannot comprehend the situation in which they have to live. For example, they cannot resolve family conflicts and judge who is right and who is to blame for family quarrels. Children find themselves in a tangle of conflicting experiences, and the power of these experiences is sharper in them than in adults.
Very often you can hear from adults: "He is still small, he does not understand anything." This idea of \u200b\u200blittle ones frees parents from responsibility for their behavior. Adults forget that this "misunderstanding" is what children can suffer from. Adults rarely think about the irreparable harm they inflict on children by making them participants in their quarrels. The atmosphere of hostility in which a child has to live can become the cause of his nervous state.
A feature of preschool age is a close connection between the psyche and the physical state. We could say the same about adults, but in children this connection is even more direct.
The appearance of nervousness most often occurs in physically weakened children. And for the period of childhood, a large number of infectious diseases fall, which represent a fertile ground for the onset of nervous conditions.
In the case histories of nervous children, we also find references to various factors that adversely affect the nervous system. Adverse factors can be prenatal - an unsuccessful mother's pregnancy, trauma during childbirth, postpartum - infections, head bruises, etc. Each of these hazards can cause an independent, sometimes serious illness, but most often it weakens the child's nervous system. Children with a weak nervous system do not adapt well to the environment, are not able to overcome difficulties that are easily overcome by healthy ones. It is children with a weakened nervous system that most often get sick with neuroses.
Usually, in children of preschool and school age, with neuroses, the function of certain internal organs is upset, and most often the one that was weakened earlier. So, nervous vomiting, upset digestive organs, loss of appetite occur after suffering dysentery or dyspepsia. Those functions that have not yet matured are also upset: enuresis (urinary incontinence) or speech disorder appears; usually stuttering or loss of speech (which happens during severe shocks) occurs in children with a delay in the development of speech or with any other defects.
Prevention of nervous breakdowns in school children
Older preschoolers and younger schoolchildren also develop other symptoms of nervousness, for example: frequent movement disorders - tics, obsessive movements.
The various symptoms of nervousness are never isolated. With neurotic conditions, the whole appearance of the child changes. He becomes lethargic and lack of initiative, or, conversely, too mobile and fussy, loses control over his behavior.
In such children, working capacity decreases, attention worsens. If the cause of the nervous state is not eliminated, then the character of the child changes. He may remain in the future the same lethargic and lack of initiative, or excitable and undisciplined.
Nervous children succumb to bad influences more easily, since they are not capable of nervous tension, cannot resist their own urges. However, one should not draw too gloomy conclusions from what has been said. A survey of adults who were treated in childhood for certain manifestations of nervousness shows us that most of them are healthy, successfully study and work.
The child's psyche is flexible and resilient. Under favorable conditions, children get better.
Treating a neurotic child is a rewarding task. Even when child psychiatrists have to deal with severe neuroses, it is sometimes possible to cure a child mainly with ordinary pedagogical methods that are also applicable at home.
The main method of treating neurotic children is psychotherapy. This method is used by both doctors and teachers, although the latter do not call it that. One of the methods of psychotherapy is a change of scenery, elimination of the cause that caused the disease, an influx of new joyful impressions.
Along with this, another method of psychotherapy should be applied, which in the language of psychiatrists is called "speech". By this is meant treatment with the word. The authoritative word of the educator is of tremendous importance in the treatment of neurotic children.
One of the most effective psychotherapeutic techniques is the so-called stimulation method. With this method, the goal is set - to awaken in the child the desire to recover. Our ultimate goal is for the child to apply his own strength to recovery and thereby learn to overcome life's obstacles. When applying this method, the word of the educator is especially significant.
Even the smallest children experience the victory over the disease as a victory - they become more self-confident, more cheerful.
Tantrums in a child. Brief fits of tantrums are sometimes helpful. Tantrums relieve internal tension, give an outlet to accumulated negative emotions. Therefore, take a child's tantrums as an age-related inevitability.
Tantrums in a child
Causes of tantrums in a child
- Drawing attention to yourself. Hysteria is a surefire way to do this. Therefore, give your baby as much time as possible. Before the guests come, try to keep the child busy with some interesting game;
- nervous breakdown. A nervous breakdown can occur if a child really wants to do or get something, but he is deprived of it. Or if the child is forced to do what he resists with all his soul. Therefore, adults need to defend their position on very important issues, you can concede to a child on trifles. Let the baby wear a T-shirt that he likes, take a toy that he has chosen for a walk;
- hunger. Children can get annoyed if they are hungry;
- fatigue, agitation. Don't ask too much of your baby. Letting him rest more often throughout the day will help relieve emotional stress.
- confusion. They are not allowed to do something, but they do not explain why. Or mom allows, and dad forbids;
What if the hysteria started?
- Distract your baby. Bring you to the window, look at the street together. Offer to take a walk.
- If the baby is crying loudly, try to "cry" with him. Gradually lower the volume of your cry and switch to sniffing. The kid will most likely start copying you. It will fill up and calm down. Fondle your baby.
- If a baby roars in a crowded place, sometimes you shouldn't rush to "evacuate". Let the baby let off steam, take away the soul, then follow you.
- Use distraction toys. The child frowned and prepared for a hysterics? You can give him a drum or other strong musical instrument, let him rip off evil. And you can show some interesting thing - to divert attention.
Prevention of nervous breakdowns and neuroses in children
The two main states of cells in the cerebral cortex (the organ of mental activity) are excitation and inhibition. Due to the processes of arousal, those actions are performed that satisfy our needs and desires, which have arisen under the influence of the environment or the reserves that we have, previous impressions - the so-called psychological attitudes.
Mechanisms of nervous breakdowns in children
Due to the processes of inhibition, the excessive activity of our actions is suppressed, the implementation of which would lead to an undesirable conflict with the surrounding, primarily social, environment.
If earlier it was believed that all mental activity is concentrated only in the cerebral cortex, then modern science testifies to the role of subcortical (located in the depths of the brain) formations. Their condition largely determines the excitation and inhibition of the cells of the cortex.
The state of the whole organism also affects the work of the cerebral cortex. Against the background of certain constitutional features of the organism, certain forms of neurotic reactions often develop. General diseases (infectious, endocrine, hematogenous, etc.), weakening the body as a whole and the nervous system inextricably linked to it, make it more vulnerable and increase the likelihood of neurosis in the presence of certain "psychological" harm, which are the main reason neurosis.
I.P. Pavlov and his school found that a nervous breakdown (neurosis) occurs through one of three physiological mechanisms:
- with overload of excitation processes;
- when braking processes are overloaded;
- when they "collide", i.e. when excitement and inhibition collide at the same time.
Most often, the breakdown occurs by the mechanism of overloading the excitation processes. When parents bring a child with any nervous influence (fears, insomnia, irritability, moods, stuttering, twitching, night fears, etc.) to a neuropsychiatrist, in the overwhelming majority of cases, they confidently declare that the cause is mental damage child, first of all, fright. At first glance, everything is clear. The child still has a weak nervous system, and the sharp frightening impression was too strong for her. Hence the recommendations: to create such a child protective, sparing, devoid of any harsh impressions.
However, if we think about the mechanism of the formation of a nervous breakdown and take a closer look and analyze what is happening here, a completely different picture will suddenly open before us. As the leading Russian psychoneurologists have repeatedly emphasized, neurosis in adults also never arises from the strength or nature of the stimulus, but only from its, as we say, "signal value", i.e. neurosis is caused not by the visual, auditory, painful and other impressions themselves, but by what is associated with them in the consciousness of a given person, in his life experience. For example, the sight of a burning building can cause neurosis only if a person knows (or assumes) that someone dear to him and something valuable to him is dying in the fire.
The child does not have sufficient personal life experience and judges the danger or safety of what is happening by the reaction of adults, primarily parents and caregivers.
Examples:
The girl, already a schoolgirl, is terrified of mice, even in pictures. Otherwise, she is even a brave girl: she is not afraid of dogs or cows. What's the matter? It turns out that when she was still in kindergarten, a mouse slipped in the corner during classes and the teacher (the highest authority for children) jumped on the table with a squeal, thus reinforcing the unconscious perception that “there is no beast worse than a mouse”.
A six-year-old boy, being in a circus at a performance with trained bears, saw a bear pointing in his direction on a motorcycle, screamed wildly with fear and at first was completely speechless, and then stuttered for a long time. What's the matter? Why are thousands of children looking at trained bears with delight, and he became neurotic? It turned out that when he was 2-3 years old, his grandmother, if he did not obey, frightened him that a bear would come, and thus the image of a bear heading towards him became a symbol of the most terrible danger.
Interestingly, in another case, a four-year-old girl who was grabbed by a bear that escaped into the public during a circus performance, despite the really extreme danger, not only was not frightened, but later said: "After all, this is a learned bear, he knows how to hug."
There are many such examples.
Children are usually “braver” than adults: they are not afraid to climb tall trees, make bonfires in an apartment, even stick their hand into a cage to an animal, and only the instructions of adults, what is threatening, develop their fear of such actions.
Experience shows that children who developed neurosis from some kind of "fright" have repeatedly experienced incomparably stronger shocks (bruises, burns, animal bites, punishment, etc.), causing them to cry for a short time, since they were not accompanied by appropriate warning adults about their danger. Even severe pain will not cause neurosis in either a child or an adult if they know that it is safe (no one has become neurotic from toothache), but moderate discomfort can become the basis of persistent neurosis if the person experiencing them believes that they are dangerous ( how often a squeezing sensation in the region of the heart leads to severe cardioneurosis - an obsessive fear for your heart.
Even in cases where the child has real grief caused by truly tragic events (for example, the death of the mother), caress and calm explanation can gradually console the child and prevent this grief from developing into a persistent neurosis.
The younger the child, the weaker the inhibitory processes in his cortex are and the easier they break down when they are overloaded. This happens if the child is shouted all the time: "no!", "Stop!", "Don't touch!", "Sit still!"
The child has the right to a joyful, active life; he must play and run, and even play pranks. Give him more freedom and independence. To prohibit, as already mentioned, is possible and necessary only, what is absolutely unacceptable, but in this case it is necessary to prohibit firmly and unconditionally.
The frequent use of punishments associated with prolonged imprisonment and mobility also contributes to the disruption of the inhibitory process and the development of unrestraint: they are put in a corner, deprived of walks, etc. Deprivation of liberty, overloading the inhibitory process, always increases aggressiveness. That is why a chain (chained) dog is synonymous with anger.
According to the mechanism of "collision" of excitation and inhibition, neurosis can arise when one and the same event or action has both positive and negative reinforcement. For example, a child feels tenderness for a newborn brother and at the same time dislike for him for distracting the mother's attention; or at the same time loves and hates the father who leaves the family. However, more often such a breakdown occurs due to the fault of the parents, when today the child is punished for what went unpunished yesterday; when one of the parents allows or even encourages what the other scolds; when at home they indulge what they charge in kindergarten or school.
Whichever of these three mechanisms causes a nervous breakdown in a child, it becomes fixed and turns into a persistent neurosis if it begins to bring any real or moral benefits, as we talked about above.
It is generally accepted that nervous breakdowns are a negative phenomenon and cause anxiety for the state of the nervous system. The neuroses in children cause even more anxiety in their parents, since it is hard to imagine what the next tantrum of the child will actually turn out to be. In part, a nervous breakdown also has its positive aspects: negative emotions that have been accumulating for a long time come out, and psychological relief comes.
A nervous breakdown in a child resembles crying in its action - when a person cries, he throws out all the experiences and accumulated grievances, after which it becomes easier and calmer for him. This is a kind of way out of a stressful situation.
The nervous system of children is very unstable and takes a long time to form, therefore babies usually endure stress and anxiety more heavily than adults. Nervous breakdowns in them can occur quite often and manifest themselves in the form of crying, hysteria.
Symptoms of neurosis in children are almost the same as in adults: a sharp change in mood, irritability, a difficult psychological state.
Signs of the development of neurosis in a child are:
- a constant feeling of fatigue and weakness;
- vulnerability and sensitivity - the child thinks that he is mistreated, that others are harming him;
- touchiness and tearfulness;
- irritability - any request or advice from others causes aggression or resentment;
- the child's sleep pattern is disturbed, there are problems with digestion.
If you notice that the child has one of these symptoms, and after crying or a burst of emotions he felt better, then you should not panic. But if your child regularly has nervous breakdowns, this is an occasion to think about the reasons for this and analyze whether you are doing everything right?
The main reasons for the development of neurosis in children are mistakes in upbringing that their parents make. It often happens that it is the conflicts in the family that provoke nervous breakdowns in children. If you do not pay due attention to the problem in time, then later it can develop into serious psychological or even mental illness.
The neurosis does not arise by itself. This is always the result of stress, a difficult psychological situation, fear, when a child is forced to do something. Constant pressure from parents, too strict attitude of adults can provoke constant psychological stress. Lack of a parenting strategy and unity on the part of the parents, when one permits everything, while the other prohibits "knocking down the reference points" of the child, and he somehow will not meet the expectations of one of the parents.
The fright of the baby or the lack of parental support in a difficult situation can provoke a nervous breakdown.
As a treatment, patients are first of all recommended to consult a psychologist. Many parents hesitate to take their child to a specialist, afraid to admit that the problem exists. Such a position can only harm the child and aggravate the condition. There is nothing wrong with the doctor helping you and your baby to understand the causes of a nervous breakdown and tell you how to behave so that the situation does not repeat itself. Sometimes the child may need the help of a psychotherapist.
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The modern lifestyle negatively affects not only the health of adults, but also children. Nervous disorders in children are very common, but parents are not able to determine this pathology, thinking that this is another whim. With the younger generation, the circumstances are much easier, because they are able to talk about their feelings, and the signs of a nervous breakdown in a teenager help to make a final diagnosis. Children, however, are very active and sometimes it is difficult to determine when the action comes from nervousness, and in which case it just needs to release excess energy. Therefore, you have to resort to the help of specialists.
Parents need to monitor their child and note the activities that are becoming a habit. A nervous breakdown manifests itself differently in each person, and this also applies to children. One person withdraws into himself, others, on the contrary, prefer to shout loudly and throw tantrums. If your child has taken to the habit of rolling on the floor and screaming wildly, it is best to contact a neurologist who can dispel all doubts. According to experts, neurosis arises solely on the basis of which the emotional state becomes unbalanced.
The main alarming factors include the following symptoms:
- The onset of hallucinations;
- Leading mental development of their peers;
- The child in all seriousness begins to fantasize or deceive;
- Lost interest in life;
- Strong interest in one subject at school (excessive hobby).
These symptoms appear only at the initial stage of a nervous breakdown, and in order to prevent their development, contact a neurologist in time.
How do nervous disorders manifest in children?
- Nervous tic. Very often, nervous disorders in children manifest themselves in this form, which is expressed in unconscious twitching of the limbs, cheeks, shrugging of the shoulders, unreasonable movement of the hand, smacking, and so on. If you notice a nervous tic in a child when he is at rest, this is the first sign of a nervous disorder. With vigorous activity, the tick disappears.
- Poor sleep or insomnia. If your child previously slept well, but suddenly begins to constantly toss and turn, sleep restlessly and wake up very often, you should also pay attention to this symptom. In this form of the disorder, children also talk during sleep, and it becomes very realistic.
- Neurosis. This is the most serious form of manifestation of the disease and parents should pay special attention to the following symptoms: sadness, hysteria, phobias, frequent fears, obsessive movements, quiet speech, depression, panic fear. As soon as you notice these symptoms, urgently consult a specialist.
- Stuttering. This form of the disorder occurs in children around the age of three. During this period, the baby learns to speak. It is very important not to overload the child, as due to the information load, he can experience stress. Ultimately, it's the healthy child that matters, not the potential child prodigy. Stuttering also manifests itself when separated from loved ones.
- Enuresis. When a child experiences a strong shock, overexcitement, he urinates into bed. During this period, an unstable mood, numerous whims and increased tearfulness are noted.
- Anorexia. This form of nervous disorder is expressed as loss of appetite. If a child was forced to eat in childhood, then in adolescence it usually "pours out" in the pursuit of a slender figure. Anorexia is best treated at an early age, as teens tend to be more independent and rely on their inexperience.
Very often, the wrong behavior of the parents leads to the development of a nervous breakdown, despite all the love on their part. To avoid the development of the disease and its appearance a priori, try to avoid the following actions:
- To note the shortcomings of the child, constantly pointing out their weakness, as if trying to eradicate them. In this case, it is better to concentrate on the wealth that needs to be acquired;
- Send the child to two schools, circles and other sections that he does not like, creating an overload;
- Excessive custody of a child;
- Family scandals;
- Show that the child should gain favor with his parents, deserve it. Try to show your love.
Treatment of children
The treatment of nervous breakdowns in children consists of various psychotherapy techniques. Depending on the age, both non-verbal and verbal therapy can be used. However, at the heart of any technique is the idea of \u200b\u200bdealing with anxiety and fear. It is necessary to reduce the patient's anxiety, return him to a harmonious life. This requires removing all resentment, guilt and getting out of stress. If a child has a nervous breakdown, then it is advisable to conduct psychotherapy sessions with the whole family. However, in the case of teenagers, it is better to trust a professional without resorting to parental assistance. Moreover, some adults themselves have personality disorders.
As for the use of medications, they are used as a supplement and only in advanced cases. Drugs, of course, can ease anxiety and temporarily cure a breakdown, but if you do not remove the cause, which is solved exclusively with a psychotherapist, the disease will return again and, possibly, with greater force.
What should parents do if their child has a nervous breakdown?
As a rule, children build up tension in kindergarten or at home, which sooner or later breaks out. If you feel like your child is on the verge of hysteria, try the following:
- When the baby is already at the limit and is ready to throw a tantrum, smile at him, kiss and tell a joke.
- Try to divert the child's attention. This must be done abruptly to cause surprise. One way is to portray a tantrum by making a proactive move. In some cases, this is surprising and reassuring.
What should be done if a child has already had a nervous breakdown:
- Place your child in a cool shower. If he is not able to do it on his own, take it and carry it to the bath. As a last resort, sprinkle cold water on your face or put ice, a bag of frozen vegetables, and a towel soaked in cold water on your forehead. As you know, cold water slows down reactions in the body, negative energy is washed off, emotions recede;
- Use a mirroring technique. The point is to repeat all the actions that the baby does. At a young age, this causes great surprise and reassurance, hysteria is replaced by curiosity;
- If an attack occurs, remove all dangerous objects away, as the child does not understand what he is doing and does not control himself. He can easily take an object and throw it wherever he wants;
- Create a privacy environment. Some people calm down when left alone, but you still need to watch your baby discreetly.
What actions should be taken after a tantrum has happened:
- Prepare hot tea and add a couple of drops of motherwort. This will calm the nervous system, the brain will be balanced, and the child will fall asleep;
- Brew herbal teas with St. John's wort, mint, motherwort, fennel, lavender more often. This is especially true if the child often cries and breaks down.
Do not forget about other preventive measures, in particular, B vitamins can remove negative emotional reactions, reduce the amount of stress. Biscuits, cheese, egg yolk, beets, tomatoes, pears, spinach, cauliflower, carrots and other fermented milk products are very useful for the nervous system. Recently, it was proved that folic acid helps to reduce the amount of the amino acid homocysteine, which has an increased level in children prone to hysterics and nervous breakdown.
Sign and causes of a nervous breakdown in adolescents
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Probably, every person with age looks with apprehension at the younger generation, comparing his youth with the modern generation. In any case, it can be noted that adolescents behave extremely defiantly, noisy, aggressive and obscene. At home, of course, almost everyone observes the rules of decency, but at school or on the street, behavior most often changes a lot. As a result, individuals who are very gullible, prone to emotions and unable to defend themselves receive psychological trauma, and they hit a person an order of magnitude harder than physical ones.
The postponed psychological trauma can interfere with full-fledged development with age or throughout life, if it is not removed. Since in the post-Soviet space it is not yet accepted to go to a psychologist, people are forced to cope with these problems on their own.
What reasons contribute to the development of a nervous breakdown?
Signs of a nervous breakdown:
- The teenager begins to withdraw into himself, avoids all kinds of contacts with friends, blames others;
- Shows excessive activity. However, this is much less common, since the outburst of emotions, even in the most primitive and ugly form, helps the person get rid of the negative;
- During relaxation, the limbs of the body begin to twitch;
- Poor sleep and insomnia;
- Constant dialogues and disputes within the personality;
- Depression and apathy towards the outside world.
Parents should show maximum attention, because often among the younger generation suicidal acts occur and one gets the impression that modern school education only contributes to this. Show more concern, try to spend the weekend together, going out of town on a fishing trip or just on vacation. This will protect the teenager from bad companies, if any. Encourage him to sign up for interesting sections where there is a "healthy" team. If the child feels negative and dismissive from other teenagers, send them to the sports section, to wrestling or other types of combat. Thus, he will feel confident in himself, will be able to defend his point of view.
Treatment of adolescents
Like any treatment for a nervous breakdown, adolescents need to follow certain rules:
- Avoid conflicting communication, surround yourself with a favorable society;
- Drink herbal teas with soothing herbs more often;
- Go in for light sports;
- Listen to relaxing music;
- If you want to do yoga, meditation;
- Be sure to contact a psychotherapist who will help solve pressing problems and identify the cause of a nervous breakdown.
Text: Ivan Belokrylov, consultant - Victoria Valerievna Pakhomova, Ph.D., pediatric neurologist
In the preparatory classes for school, the children were given the task: to remember or come up with 2 lines, which represent a complete poem. Sasha reacted instantly: "Let me be considered a bitch, but I run to the bowl first!" The quote was from a book about cats - funny pictures with humorous couplets below. At home, everyone laughed at them, and the teacher began to scold them for a bad word, threatened to put them in a corner. Sasha, red as a cancer and all in tears, ran away from class, and at home he said that he would not go to this kindergarten again. In the evening he had a fever. Near forty! The pediatrician, elderly and very experienced, after listening to the background story, said: “Fever due to stress! In general, your boy has a nervous breakdown. " It can manifest itself in another way - not as an emotional outburst, but in the form of a quiet hysteria. It is very important that adults behave correctly in such cases!
Breakdown: violent manifestation
A sign of a nervous breakdown - hysterics... Under the influence of a stress factor, which acts as a too strong irritant for the children's nervous system (still fragile, easily excitable in babies), the child loses his temper: starts a fight, throws books and toys on the floor, is rude, shouts out inappropriate things.
Oddly enough, such a reaction can only be gladdened! Psychologists usually advise in such cases to let the baby cry and shout out. In the language of specialists, this is called "Go through the situation"... Let your child discharge to the end. Having freed from negative emotions, the child will come to his senses. Then you can calmly talk with him about what happened, discuss the situation over a cup of tea with mint, which calms the nervous system. Such tea will be good for mommy too, because she worries no less than her child! Don't worry: the worst is over. If the conflict situation in the kindergarten can be resolved by removing the psycho-traumatic factor, the tantrum will no longer be repeated.
Do not be indignant at the child's behavior and do not make him apologize for what happened in front of the whole group or teacher: you cannot force him to relive everything anew! To put a preschooler in the same conditions in which a breakdown arose means to provoke a new emotional outburst. It is not for nothing that in such cases it is recommended to change the situation up to the transition to another group or even to another kindergarten.
Breakdown: quiet hysteria
What could be worse than a nervous breakdown with screams and tears in front of the whole class? Just a quiet hysteria! The child seems to freeze: freezes, withdraws into himself, does not answer questions, cries silently, sways from side to side or shrinks into a ball and begins to bite his nails, pull out hair, eyebrows or eyelashes. Bad habits of this kind are classic signs of auto-aggression, which develops due to negative emotions driven inside.
Disciplined and ambitious children, future excellent students, who are ahead in everything, are prone to quiet hysteria with elements of auto-aggression. They start reading almost at three, at four they solve problems from the textbook for first graders! But in the children's team, such geeks are not very fond of, because they envy their success and the fact that the "advanced" kid is constantly set as an example to others. Teach your child to develop relationships with other children and explain that bragging about your success is not good. Say: "If Kolya still does not know how to read, then he needs help, then he will also share something with you, become your friend."
Breakdown: feed right
Pediatricians consider malnutrition as one of the reasons for children's nervous breakdowns. It turns out that a lack of vitamins (especially group B) and trace elements (in particular, zinc and magnesium), as well as preservatives contained in food and drinks (there are many of them in sausage, sausages, smoked meats, canned food), flavorings, artificial fillers and colors are not the best way affect the exchange of dopamine and serotonin in the brain of the child. Because of this, he becomes more excitable, reacts sharply to troubles.
Worst of all, when products stuffed with chemistry, cause allergies in the baby, which is accompanied by an additional release of serotonin into the bloodstream, which enhances the agitated state. The list of the most powerful allergens includes eggs, red caviar, fish, seafood, tomatoes, honey, nuts, red apples, citrus fruits, as well as exotic fruits such as kiwi, mango and pineapple. Be careful with them!
It's not even worth talking about soda - it is contraindicated for children with a tendency to hysterical reactions. But American scientists have found that the orange juice in the bag does not work better. Within a day after its use, a lot of zinc is found in the analysis of urine - this mineral of calm is actively washed out of the body! This is because canned juice (as opposed to freshly squeezed juice) contains the food coloring tartazine (E102), which has the ability to expel zinc from the body.
The baby is also disinhibited by substances from the group of salicylates, contained in coffee, olives, raspberries, oranges, apples, plums, strawberries, cherries and grapes. True, there are not so many of these compounds in berries and fruits, but black tea (not to mention coffee, which is generally not recommended for babies) should be excluded from the diet of a child who has experienced a nervous breakdown.
Limit sweets too! They cause a sharp rise in blood glucose and the secretion of the hormone insulin by the pancreas. As a result, the glucose level falls, and the body produces hormones, in particular adrenaline, which has an exciting effect on the baby.
Breakdown: what to do for adults
A child's hysteria does not arise out of nowhere. Usually, tension builds up for a while, when the situation in the kindergarten or at home heats up, but the child tries to keep himself within limits. And then…
Before the hysteria starts
- Do not provoke a child if you see that he is already at the limit. The easiest way to avoid a relapse is to smile or defuse the situation with some kind joke.
- Switch the child's attention, distract the child with something. If he's already on edge, the switch method should be very powerful. Try, for example, to portray a tantrum yourself or have one of the children do it. In the language of psychology, such a move is called the method of preventive or retaliatory aggression (depending on when it is used: before the start of the hysterical reaction or when it is already in full swing). Someone else's false hysteria surprises the child, and he quickly calms down.
During a nervous breakdown
- Apply the mirror projection method. Repeat after your son or daughter all their actions so that they can see themselves from the outside. The younger the child, the more effective this method of psychological relief. He stops hysterical and looks at you curiously.
- Send the lost child under a cool shower. You can take it in an armful and carry it to the bathroom. Or splash cold water on your face, apply a bag of frozen vegetables wrapped in a towel to your forehead. Water washes away negative energies, and cold slows down reactions, dulls emotions and acts as a distraction therapy.
- Don't let your child hurt yourself and others. Now he is in a state of passion: he does not understand what he is doing, does not control himself and is not responsible for his actions. Take away from his hands everything that is piercing and cutting and heavy, than he can launch into someone.
- Leave one in the room - let him calm down, come to himself and think about what happened. But do not lose sight of the baby, slowly watch him!
After a fit of tantrum
- Give your child some sweet tea with a few drops of motherwort tincture, and when he relaxes, put him to bed. During sleep, the brain generates life-saving alpha waves - a natural sedative.
- If your baby is nervous and vulnerable, prone to hysterical reactions, brew him for preventive purposes pharmaceutical herbal teas with mint, motherwort, St. John's wort, lavender or fennel.
- Tell an explosive child prone to aggressive reactions: when he feels that he is about to break, let him close his eyes and take several deep breaths through the nose and slow exhales through the mouth with the sound "F". Or begin to massage the anti-stress point on the other with the tip of the index finger of one hand clockwise. The fold between the pressed thumb and forefinger rests on this point.
Breakdown: Strengthen the nerves
Psychological problems have physiological causes. Give your child B vitamins, they reduce stress in the child's body and prevent unwanted emotional reactions. There are many vitamins useful for the nervous system in fermented milk products, cheese, liver, heart, egg yolk, pears, peaches, tomatoes, carrots, beets, cauliflower and spinach.
Offer your baby a vitamin salad with folic acid found in greens, leafy vegetables, and green parts of plants every day. Norwegian scientists have found that in the blood of children prone to aggressive reactions, the level of the amino acid homocysteine \u200b\u200bis elevated, which does not contribute to positive emotions and good behavior. Folic acid normalizes this figure, helping the child to relax. No wonder it is called the vitamin of joy. It is vital for kids too!
