When it comes to hysteria, people often point out that it is characteristic of women. However, this opinion is erroneous. Women are simply more likely than men to exhibit hysterical qualities, which have a reason. How can a man deal with female hysteria? How does it manifest itself?
Hysteria is attributed to women only because they allow themselves to express it often and publicly. However, there are also men who do not hide their hysterical qualities.
Hysteria was previously attributed exclusively to women, because old times all sciences and research were carried out exclusively by men. And it is common for every person to look for the causes of problems in others, but not in themselves! Men had more freedom in their manifestations, attributing hysteria exclusively to the female sex, which was under pressure and in slavery to the male sex.
Only over time was it determined that hysteria is inherent in both sexes. However, in this article we will talk about female hysteria as a more frequent occurrence than male hysteria. Let's try to analyze this phenomenon so that the male sex has leverage over women when they become hysterical.
What is female hysteria?
When talking about hysteria, people point out the negative aspects of this phenomenon. It seems that a person is showing bad qualities of his character when he begins to hysteria. However, hysteria has many reasons for its manifestation. What is female hysteria? This is inappropriate, uncontrollable, explosive behavior, accompanied by screams, tears, crying and instability.
Psychologists note that female hysteria is not controlled at the moment of its climax. However, even at the stage of its development and formation, you can reassure a woman at any time, returning her to friendly feelings.
Women's hysteria should not be judged solely poorly. Like any phenomenon, female hysteria has its own reasons for its manifestation. Some people thus throw out their powerlessness and feelings, becoming sincere. Others try to make a statement because they otherwise go unheard. Still others strive to achieve their goal through screaming and crying.
Depending on the reasons for the manifestation of female hysteria, we can talk about this phenomenon as something good or bad. However, people clearly judge the manifestations of the feminine side. If she is hysterical, it means “stupid”, “hysterical”, “insane”. If she's hysterical, it means she's nagging and has lost her mind. Men speak especially insultingly about female hysterics. Psychologists characterize this as a man's inability to cope with the problem. And in order to subconsciously justify themselves, they make women guilty.
It is better to offend another person by making him sick than to admit your own misunderstanding of the situation and correct it. This trend dates back to ancient times, when they just began to consider hysteria as a phenomenon. In those days, women were treated with disdain. Today, this trend continues and is expressed in the fact that men simply do not want to understand the nature of female behavior.
What is female hysteria? In the everyday understanding of this word, this is an emotional outburst, which is aimed at sorting out relationships through showdowns, shouting or throwing objects. If we talk about the clinical manifestation of hysteria, then we are talking about people hysterical type(this can be both women and men). These individuals have been emotional, impulsive, and have a developed imagination since childhood.
Causes of female hysteria
To understand how to cope with female hysteria, you should consider the reasons for its occurrence. There are many reasons, so not every hysteria can be called negative behavior. In some cases, only through hysterics can a woman show herself as a sincere person.
It is customary to treat female hysteria as a way to attract attention. In fact, theatrical hysteria is full of falsehood and insincerity. Often this form of hysteria is used in work or in show business. In a circle of close people, where female hysteria often manifests itself, this behavior has a different character.
The physiological causes of hysteria include a special type nervous system, which makes a person a representative of the hysterical type. This diagnosis can be made by a specialist who should be contacted if a woman regularly and without good reasons starts hysterics, but is unable to stop and cannot be calmed down.
If the specialist reveals physiological reasons hysteria, then a special course of treatment will be prescribed. This will allow loved ones to save their strength and nerves in a situation that they simply cannot cope with on their own.
The second cause of female hysteria is hormonal changes that occur in the following situations:
- Climax.
- Menstruation.
- Malaise.
- Pregnancy.
In such situations, women begin to display the following qualities:
- Touchiness.
- Vulnerability.
- Depression.
- Anxiety.
- Frequent mood swings.
The third reason for female hysteria can be called constant stress and emotional tension. A woman endures and suppresses her emotions for a long time. IN in this case the hysteria that she throws when she can no longer keep everything in herself can be called the last stage of despair, a cry from the soul. A woman in such a situation seeks consolation because she is unable to cope with the emotional problem in other ways.
Hysteria is often a consequence of fatigue. Strong and strong-willed women shoulder many problems and worries. And when they don't see positive result from their efforts, they explode. They tried so hard, but their efforts were in vain. This provokes female hysteria.
It is necessary to indicate the female hysteria, which is used as manipulation. Usually the woman remains calm, but screams loudly in order to cause a feeling of guilt in the one at whom the actions are directed. This type of hysteria can be seen in small children who begin to experience it when their parents refuse to buy them toys or sweets. This reason for hysteria is manipulative. If the “victim” (man, parents) succumbs to it, then the woman (or child) will henceforth begin to resort to hysterics when she wants to achieve what she wants.
In some cases, hysteria is a way of emotional release. This happens to people who are used to restraining their emotions. Having no way out, emotions accumulate and then pour out on others in the form of screams and tears.
The cause of hysteria should not be ruled out as a habit. A person has been accustomed to hysteria since childhood. If at the same time he always gets his way, then this model is consolidated and becomes a strategy of behavior in a situation when what he wants is not achieved.
Hysteria is characteristic of people who are active and purposeful, but who are squeezed into the confines of everyday life and monotony. When a person cannot show his full potential, he begins to get bored, resentful, and indignant. Soon this results in hysteria directed at the one who became the culprit of the person’s unfulfillment.
Not the least reason for a woman’s hysteria (as well as a man’s) can be the fear that has accumulated in a person. If a person experiences a lot and experiences pain, then soon this manifests itself in the form of hysterics, during which he cannot control himself.
How to deal with female hysteria?
Female hysteria often aimed at men. When interacting with other women, hysterical behavior becomes rare. At work, unpleasant consequences can also arise if a woman allows herself to become hysterical. Only in the circle of close people can a lady relax and show her vibrancy. Often, hysteria is directed at men, who may have a natural question: how to deal with female hysteria?
It seems to men that women's hysterics arise out of nowhere. Actually this is not true. By ignoring a woman’s behavior, a man makes the situation even worse. The beloved may calm down, but she will remember for a long time how her partner ignored her “cry from the soul” when she needed his support and attention.
Hysteria can be caused by any word or situation. This is caused by internal reasons of the woman herself. In a moment of hysteria, she loses control of herself:
- Her face turns red.
- Crying and sharp gestures begin.
- She starts screaming.
Demand from a woman reasonable arguments and actions in this moment- a pointless activity. She needs understanding and help, which should come from the person at whom the hysteria is directed.
In a state of hysteria, a woman conveys a state of pain. If a man demands logical explanations, he most likely will not receive them. She does not think with her head, but “screams with her soul,” expressing her emotions. A man can calm a woman down only by showing emotions: sympathy, love, understanding. If in such a situation a man leaves, ignores, pretends that nothing is happening, he will make the situation even worse. The woman will be deeply offended by the man, which will not contribute to their reconciliation.
What to do if your loved one is hysterical? You should be attentive to her words. Typically, a woman will directly state what is bothering her. Based on the reasons for her hysteria, you should calmly take actions that will help calm her down:
- If a woman cries, you should hug and stroke her.
- If a woman is scared, you should let her know that you will help and solve everything.
- If a woman demands something, then a clear answer should be given: will you do what she wants from you or not? Often, manipulative hysteria does not stop, so in this case it is permissible to leave and ignore it.
Sometimes a woman wants to be heard. This often happens when a man considers women stupid, their opinions unreasonable, actions reckless, etc. Neglecting a woman’s desires, the man himself provokes hysterics in her as the only way to loudly declare his desires and, perhaps, be heard. If a man is not able to hear his woman on ordinary days, then let him prepare for hysterics.
Physiological causes of female hysteria should not be ruled out:
- If a woman is sick, then she should be taken to a specialist who will treat her.
- If a woman is not satisfied with her sex life, then she should be satisfied.
- If a woman sleeps, eats, and rests little, then she should be provided with all this. Having slept well and rested, she will save her loved ones from her hysterics.
- If a woman experiences hormonal imbalances, then she should consult a gynecologist for help.
Under no circumstances should you respond to hysteria with aggression. This will only further inflame the conflict that has already arisen between a man and a woman.
Bottom line
is the responsibility of both women and men. Hysteria is a consequence, not a cause, for the development of conflicts. If both partners understand that their hysterical clashes are destructive to the relationship, then this will help them not to get divorced, not to quarrel and not to spoil their feelings for each other. The outcome depends on both.
We should not exclude the fact that hysteria is the only manifestation of a woman that society still allows. Men would also be hysterical if they were not taught to restrain their emotions and express their negative feelings in more aggressive ways (fights, sports, etc.). Hysteria is still a feminine behavior rather than a masculine one.
You should not treat hysterical behavior as solely a bad manifestation. A woman always has reasons why she is hysterical. The exception is people who are simply mentally ill. But psychiatrists, not men, should fight their hysteria.
Hysteria is a violent, poorly controlled manifestation of emotions by a person, which has various types of activities: crying, screaming, sobbing, laughter, aggression, or breaking and throwing various objects. As a rule, a person alone does not experience hysterical states; for this to happen, there must always be the presence of “spectators.” This usually happens in order to attract the attention of loved ones or surrounding people.
During a hysteria, a person still has little control over his behavior; there is some limitation and awareness in his actions. If a person experiencing hysteria loses these properties, then she gradually goes into a state of passion. That is why a hysterical state is very dangerous for the person himself and the people around him.
Most neurologists and psychotherapists consider hysteria not as an independent illness, but as a symptom of other nervous pathologies, for example, such as psychopathy. But it is also worth knowing that hysterical behavior is characteristic of ANYONE, even a mentally healthy person. But we will consider what to do in case of hysteria and how to prevent its manifestation after familiarizing ourselves with the factors that cause this condition.
The main causes of hysteria
A special role in the manifestation of a person’s hysterical state is played not only by external ones, but also by internal factors. The main reason for the manifestation is, first of all, considered to be individual and behavioral characteristics personality. Moreover, it is the behavioral characteristics that directly depend on the increased suggestibility and emotionality of a person.
This is a pathology that is psychogenic in nature and is usually caused by conflict situations and nervous tension. Of particular importance is the importance and significance of the moment being experienced for a person’s personality. Additional factors that provoke the manifestation of hysteria can be illness, injury, physical fatigue, alcohol, unjustified use of tranquilizers or sleeping pills, lack of self-realization and even a dysfunctional family situation.
How to deal with hysteria
Not everyone knows how to react to hysterics when he or his loved one begins to fall into such a state. First of all, it is worth remembering that during hysteria, a process of release of emotions begins, which is poorly controlled. This means that boiling emotions have begun to come out, or are just reaching the boiling point, and their boiling process will begin already during the process of hysteria itself.
It is worth understanding that this process can be stopped by quickly extinguishing the source of sensual arousal. But this will not remove it completely, which means you will only calm down this condition for a while. And later it will flare up again with renewed vigor, perhaps even more violently.
1. Ignore it, get distracted by another event, or simply get out of the field of view of the person who has fallen into severe hysterics. He will lose the “viewer”, therefore, the attack of hysteria, instead of intensifying, will begin to subside.
2. Try to actively switch it to another external stimulus, preferably strong and significant for a person who has fallen into a hysterical state (for example, a child, cosmetics running, etc.). A universal and trouble-free method is splashing cold water in face. You need to do any of these actions very calmly, try to just turn it into a joke and calm them down.
Traditional recipes for treating hysteria
More than a century ago, humanity knew how to calm hysteria, when medicine was not so perfect. In those days, many were invented folk remedies treatment of hysteria. Today they are also useful to use, but they will bring greater effect in combination with the main traditional treatment.
1. To prepare a sedative infusion you will need 2 tablespoons. spoons of marigold flowers and 1 table. spoon of watch leaves, 3 tbsp. spoons Grind all the ingredients, take 3 tbsp. spoons and pour three glasses of boiling water. All this must be infused in a dark place for six hours, after which the infusion must be filtered and started taking half a glass before bed. It is better to warm the infusion a little before taking it.
2. The following recipe uses table 2 to treat hysteria. spoons of mint and lemon balm, 3 table. spoons and 1 table. a spoonful of chamomile. Everything is crushed using a meat grinder. 3 table. Fill spoons of the resulting mixture with 800 milliliters of boiling water and heat for twenty minutes over low heat so as not to lead to boiling. Then be sure to strain and cool. Start taking the resulting infusion half a glass three times a day, always thirty minutes before meals.
3. It is necessary to pour ten grams of heated water into one glass, after which we begin to boil over low heat for fifteen minutes. Strain and take one tablespoon before meals three times a day.
4. After meals, three times a day you need to take 1-2 teaspoons of royal jelly under your tongue. In case of hysteria, it will help establish the correct nerve connections in the human nervous system.
5. For constant hysterics, a decoction of chamomile helps calm the nervous system. Brew 4 tablespoons of dried chamomile with one glass of boiling water, boil for 10 minutes over low heat, let cool, strain. Take a third of a glass 3 times a day.
6. You can reduce the excitability of the nervous system and thereby stop frequent hysterics with the help of an infusion of hawthorn fruits. Chop about 2 tablespoons of dried fruits and pour a glass of boiling water. After 20 minutes of infusion, strain and drink a third of a glass 3 times a day 30 minutes before each meal.
So, overcoming stereotypes, I would like to talk about what to do if you witness the hysteria of another (perhaps close to you) person.
Hysteria is a very complex and difficult condition to experience, both for the one who is in it and for the one who is its observer (and most often, the addressee).
When do we realize that he doesn’t seem to know how to “swim”?
Are we really going to blame him for getting into this situation, drown him even more, or run away from the scene of this very real tragedy?
First of all, if you understand that you have very little resource to take any action, it is better to call someone else for help (a person with more resources, including a specialist, for example, external psychological assistance), who will help you get out of hysterics.
It hurts to see this happen to someone you care about;
You may be confused and discouraged by this behavior,
You are scared, you are afraid that something might happen to him;
Maybe even - you are irritated and angry - but not because he is so “bad”, but because you can’t cope with this difficult situation. Use “I messages” - talk not about the other person and his perceived guilt, but about your feelings, about what is happening to you when you are in this situation.
Why? - you ask. Why throw a tantrum if they hear me, see me, empathize with me, understand that my feelings are important, do not dissolve or disappear, remain alive and feeling, are ready to wait to find out my calm opinion and at the same time treat me with care and love?
For a complete understanding, I also suggest watching the original video.
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Adult tantrums
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A negative attitude, nasty intonations, mocking comments - this is a sequence leading to hysteria.
Those who are anxious and hysterical need to be occupied with work. Then they will interfere less and calm down faster.
What to do if you are overwhelmed by uncontrollable emotions
Hysteria is demonstrative behavior expressing active protest, one’s own suffering and the impossibility of adequate reactions. Hysterical is also called loud, restless behavior that incites others to the same emotions.
Usually behind the hysteria there is an unreasonable desire, which the person insists on in a scandalous way, violating the format: screaming, attracting everyone's attention, breaking dishes. Children fall to the floor, bang their arms and legs, and destroy everything around them. Quiet hysteria - rolling the eyes, demonstrating complete helplessness, uncontrollable moaning or sobbing.
Hysterics are more often a female behavior, and it seems that this is only the result of upbringing: girls are more often allowed to cry and whims. If a man allows himself to fall into hysterics, he is not really a man; infantile traits creep into him. More often they are arranged by people with hysterical character traits, but well-mannered people, even with hysterical traits, do not throw hysterics.
And, note, smart men don’t get involved with women who indulge in hysterics instead of solving the issue intelligently by discussing it.
A person in hysterics behaves as if he has lost his mind, has fallen into unconsciousness and cannot control himself in any way. This is not entirely true. Hysteria is a special art; masters of hysteria really know how to put themselves into this state, when actions are performed almost uncontrollably, but - but in fact, in any hysteria, conscious control is always present.
As the woman says: “I’m wildly hysterical, flying around the kitchen like a fury and smashing dishes. I open another closet, but I see that there is my favorite crystal vase on the shelf. No, I take it and slam the other one on the floor: why should I hit my beloved!”
Hysterics are more likely to occur when there are spectators and there is benefit. That is why, no matter how terrible a person is in hysterics, when the benefit disappears, the public changes and the situation becomes incompatible with hysteria - as soon as the person notices this, his hysteria stops almost immediately.
How to react to hysteria?
Hysteria is a typical manipulation. Anyone who throws a tantrum expects that they will not remain indifferent to it. Namely, either those around him will feel sorry for someone who is crying so bitterly, or they will not want to hear such a sharp cry, or it will be awkward to be a participant in such a wild performance in front of others. However, if you understand this, you don’t have to fall for all this. You don’t feel sorry for the one who is crying - he arranged it for himself, a sharp cry is not harmful to your health and rather only invigorates you, but it was not you who staged the wild performance, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
And the Ukrainian traffic police officers broke down in front of the hysteria of the female deputy. It seems that this is their mistake - there is no need to reinforce the habit of some women to solve their problems with public hysterics.
What to do specifically?
Do not throw a tantrum in response to a hysteria - it is useless; sharp emotions in response only excite the one who starts the hysteria. Suggesting calm down usually doesn't help. Works better:
- Complete indifferent calm. When hysteria does not have sympathizers or spectators included in the performance, it passes faster. If you can wait, just wait. Yell for a very long time - the hysterical person will not have enough health, he will calm down.
- Until the hysteria develops, calmly repeat the question “What do you want?”, and offer to formulate the tasks of the hysteria.
- It's very good to keep busy with something. This distracts the hysterical person from worrying and calms everyone down.
- Sharp physical impact: a slap in the face or a bucket of water. Brings you to your senses.
- If your girlfriend regularly throws tantrums at you, the best remedy against her hysterics - break up with her. If you are a reasonable person, why do you need a wild creature? Can't you find something more decent?
It's time to stop the hysterics.
Children's tantrums
Children's tantrums have their own characteristics. And it is especially important that parents can warn them. See→
How to stop your own tantrums?
It’s not difficult to stop your own hysteria (if you wish). Pouring cold water works best: either ask someone to pour it on you, or climb under cold water yourself, you can wear clothes, you can undress: the tone of your screams will change, the hysteria will stop. Next, rub yourself with a towel, put on fresh clothes and be sure to go outside for a walk. Walk outside for at least half an hour, better time. While walking, chew gum vigorously (chewing gum and suffering are two incompatible things) and engage in people-watching. Even better - copy the gaits. That's it, you will soon return to a completely normal state. The main thing is the desire!
I liked the article - I’ll definitely try walking on the street and maybe dousing, although dousing is scary, what if after dousing in the winter I rush outside for a walk in a panic?) - I’m hysterical, only my hysterics are strange - I don’t yell at anyone, but only I’m shaking with fear and nervously wandering back and forth around the apartment and all the time I only think about how I go crazy when I’m left alone - I just can’t understand why I have such a reaction to loneliness. But I literally panic as soon as I'm alone. Until now, only 2 ways have helped: either urgently go to bed 2 hours before people close to me leave home, or alcohol - you definitely need to drink something before being left alone at home. Can anyone tell me the reason for these strange hysterics of mine, I would be very grateful? I will add that this strange behavior began only after the birth of my child (the birth was very difficult) and has not gone away for many years. (((
It is enough to go to Fresh air. You can switch to something else. There is an obsessive problem that contributes to the growth of hysteria. Here you need to understand what is more important - the solution to this problem or the burned out nerve cells. When you choose the first, you somehow calm down faster. And there are also good sedatives. You'll be a bit of a vegetable, but calm person 🙂
A bit strange article. I agree that hysterics are often thrown in order to get something, some kind of benefit. However, there is a point with which I do not agree. For some reason, it is believed that if a person speaks a little louder, it means he is hysterical. This situation happened to me literally today. When they were brainstorming, I proposed my idea, which was immediately criticized by some particularly smart individuals. Then I said a little louder than usual: “Then offer yours.” They immediately called me hysterical. Although I don’t understand what exactly I said. If you don't like my idea, then say yours - it's logical. And it’s okay if I screamed. But no. I just said it loudly, and not because I wanted to, but because the critics themselves spoke too loudly, and it was difficult to convey my thoughts to them. And this is not the first time this situation has happened. Speak a little louder and you are immediately accused of being hysterical. But when they themselves scream and roll their eyes, it’s okay!
How to respond to children's tantrums? There is a Preface to this, there is a Main Rule, there is an Amendment to Chapter.
Reacting to persistent hysterics is like putting out a fire that has already flared up. The art of parents.
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Severe hysteria
How to deal with hysteria - effective ways
How to release accumulated tension and survive without problems breakdown?
This is told by a privately practicing teacher-psychologist from Arkhangelsk, Lidiya Nikolaevna Titova.
Why does hysteria happen?
Not every person experiences hysteria. This explosion of emotions is characteristic, as a rule, of creative and excitable people. Hysteria occurs to release tension. Usually it accumulates enough long time. A person maintains external calm for a long time and behaves adequately. And then one day a breakdown occurs and hysteria begins.
The cause of hysteria can be a contradiction between the desire for something and the inability to satisfy it. This is especially pronounced in young children. After all, in early age they do not yet know how to control their desires.
Sometimes hysteria can be caused by an unexpected strong experience, which happens in difficult life circumstances. Often from one’s own powerlessness and inability to change anything.
How to help yourself?
When hysteria happens, the best way out for the “lost one” - to go through the situation. In other words, you should not push your hysteria inside and suppress your emotions. It’s better to throw them out and, figuratively speaking, “enjoy your hysteria.” That is, it is necessary to discharge completely.
It’s another matter if hysteria is close, but it’s not there yet. In this case, you need to switch to something, try to distract yourself. The rule here is this: the stronger the internal tension, the more powerful the method of distraction should be.
If you were nearby?
People around are also able to help a person who is beginning to “explode”. The main thing is to act correctly.
We need to redirect his attention. An effective way is with a slap. However, here you need to be very careful and act based on the specific situation and personality of the person. You should treat the situation calmly and not get angry. This has a calming effect on someone who is hysterical. In some cases, the method of “response aggression” can help someone.
At the same time, the person observing the hysteria should try to portray an attack. Such false hysteria distracts attention, and the person quickly calms down. It happens that the situation is too unpleasant and you can barely restrain yourself. In this case, you can use the “Chinese mirror” method. Repeat after the screamer all his actions. Your task is to show him how he looks from the outside when he behaves like this. This especially helps with children. The child quickly calms down and looks at you with curiosity. During an emotional outburst, try to prevent the person from harming themselves and others.
If you see that he is close to inappropriate actions, you need to intervene: to protect yourself and the “hysterical” person. Remove dangerous and heavy objects from his field of vision - knives, forks, screwdrivers, figurines.
If the rebel is light in weight, you can take him to the bathroom and put him under the shower. Or apply cold to his temples - ice, frozen berries or fruits. Splash cold water on your face. Cooling down not only provides an opportunity to take your mind off what is happening. It slows down reactions and therefore holds back emotions.
If a tantrum occurs with a small child at home, then this option comes to the rescue: the child screams, and you hit yourself.
By doing so, you are showing how hurt his behavior is to you. Usually the child is surprised at the first moment, and then rushes to feel sorry for you.
What to do after a tantrum?
Most people feel empty and confused after an emotional outburst. “When they regain consciousness,” they often have difficulty understanding what they have done. Many do not remember what they did and how they behaved at this time.
When the hysteria ends, do not be outraged by the person’s behavior, do not remind him of what happened. If necessary, give him a sedative - hawthorn infusion or a few drops of motherwort tincture. You can give him warm tea. And after that go to bed.
Punch a person in the face. Let's assume this is a girl, sorry of course, but only a real asshole can do this.
Yesterday I felt bad and now my MCH tried to do this (thanks to this article) the result is that it brings out even more, and now that I am calm, I no longer feel any love for him, after his insults, blows, what he uses strength wanted to drag me into a cold shower when I’m already sick, and the “mirror” technique is absolutely deadly. Yes, of course, try to imitate a person, for this you can get quite a lot from a calm person, but from someone in such a state you can expect such worse consequences.
Often, the person who is with you at such a moment is the cause of this state, and such behavior on the part of the observed person is at least incorrect and humiliating.
At most. Well, I’ve stopped loving and respecting him now.
So dear men, read the reviews carefully, your aggression, indifferent calm, anger and such tactless behavior will not lead to anything good, then you will only regret it greatly(
I actually have my own ways of dealing with hysterics.
Star children and fashion shows: tears, boredom, hysterics
Fashion Week taking place in New York is an absolutely obligatory event for all show business stars who happen to be nearby at this time. Many celebrities take their children with them: for example, the Beckham family are regulars in the front row of all shows. However, even children seasoned with public attention are not always able to make such trips: say, 3-year-old Harper is trying to have fun as best she can. But even the all-powerful neighbor Anna Wintour is not able to greatly brighten up the situation. Actor Alec Baldwin c.
Children's tantrums.
Very often you have to deal with the tantrums of your older son. If he really wants something, it’s better to do it than to see how others look at you (as if I’m a monster). What are you doing? if the child wanted you to buy this particular toy right now? If he wants to go there, but needs to go in the opposite direction? He does not accept persuasion or arguments. But he stupidly screams, falls, squeaks.
Our last tantrum
To illustrate my post yesterday. I want to emphasize that I am writing not just about children taken into a family at a more or less conscious age (for me, these are children who can talk in detail about their blood family), but about children who have survived abuse, hunger and neglect. So 🙂 our last hysteria took place about a month ago (when I write the last, I mean in time, and not “last once and for all”). Dad went to the dacha for the weekend, and we stayed in Moscow.
But if your tactics work, I wish you patience! You are already very patient. But knowing what such deterrence costs, I wish you these boundless strengths. So that there is a place to get them from.
We had something similar. The soup went down the toilet. A couple of times was enough. We have a rule - if you want to eat, eat with everyone when it comes to regular meals. If you don’t want to, get out of the way and head to next appointment food. All.
Child's hysteria
How to behave if a child is hysterical? How to help a child and save parents' nerves? Advice for parents.
Children's whims and hysterics: what to do?
I once went to school with one boy. He came to school, but was so attached to his mother that during all lessons she had to sit in the corridor with the door ajar so that the boy could see her through the crack. As soon as the mother left the place and the boy no longer saw her, he began to have a terrible hysteria. Then I couldn’t understand: Why is this boy behaving this way? Many years later, having undergone training in system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan, I realized that it was a boy.
Eyes Wide Shut
Shall we play blind man's buff? [link-1] There is another, quite ordinary campaign going on in Russian schools, one of many, routine, so to speak. Parents (as well as students who already have a passport) are given these forms to sign (see photo below). Bookaff a lot. Reading is not re-reading, right? And who needs it? Let's wave, and that's it. But those who still dare to read have questions. To begin with: 1. Why are these forms suggested to be signed at school, and not at a medical institution, as expected.
And we have hysterics (my son is 10 years old)
BUT here’s a question: Grandma doesn’t have such strong hysterics (since she has). He even apologized over the phone for behaving this way.
And in vain, IMHO, we went to the “bioroots” - this communication, IMHO, should be postponed until the child is older.
You have the right to be sick and feel unwell; you are not obliged to live up to the “ideal image of a foster mother” every day. When I don’t feel good, I borrow almost 10 rubles. cartoons and house cleaning. He likes to clean up - forward). And also, why not use a normal camp for the holidays?
Which doctor should I contact?
From the very beginning, at intervals of about once a month, the child experiences strong hysterics, really strong and long-lasting - the hysteria itself lasts an hour.
Hysterics, 7 years old,
But the hysterics are very strong and sometimes last for a long time (if you don’t react, it can take an hour). I come, he’s cleaning, but he’s all on edge, but he saw me and got furious, and hysterics began.
Much has fallen into place. You just have to work hard. Education in this matter requires parental self-discipline. But it works. It helped us a lot with our son. Well, plus consultations. The reasons may be different. As they explained to us, there has been a 7-year crisis - separation from parents, school, new role as students, etc. a lot has been written on the Internet
What are children from 1 to 3 years old afraid of?
Let's continue the conversation about children's fears. In the last publication, I talked about the fears of children under 1 year of age. [link-1] Today we will talk about what children aged one to three years are afraid of. “Mom, I won’t let you go...” From the age of 1 year, this is the period when the child is still very strongly connected with his mother and is focused on loved ones; communication with peers is not so important for him. Therefore, between the ages of one and two years, the fear of separation from the mother is still very strong. Next to the mother of the child.
How to deal with children's tantrums
In our turbulent times, chronic stress has long become a kind of norm of life. Unfortunately, we don't always think about how stressful situations affect our children. Meanwhile, children very often express dissatisfaction with the current situation too emotionally, to the point of hysteria. Many parents have to deal with this problem: a child who was just laughing and having fun, in the blink of an eye turns into a source of severe discomfort - he breaks into a demanding cry.
Hysterics
What to do if a child throws a tantrum in a store
Where do the nasty little bitches come from?
blossomed, and Tonya went to her room, and when everyone went to breakfast together, she had a strong hysteria, her mother could not calm her down for an hour. Of course, I did the wrong thing.
Your neighbor's bitch is as good as the moon.
Now, if she beckoned with a cookie and threw him into a puddle, or tore off your doll’s hair in the garden, or put glue/nails in your daughter’s clothes/shoes in kindergarten.
We also had a girl in our kindergarten. I sat next to my son, like he was the calmest one.
So she poured water from sippy cups onto his drawings, spat in his soup, pinched, bit, stole pieces from his plate, etc., etc. We took ours before bed. And from others we heard that she could put/poured something in her underpants, and deliberately hit other children’s fingers with the door, etc., etc.
And the most difficult thing for us was to teach our son not to kill this “girl”. She pushed once and flew over the bench. I asked you to be more careful next time. but I really wanted to break her neck myself ((((
In your case, IMHO, little things. Moreover, you can reduce communication
hysterics
I really need advice. I have three sons, the eldest and twins. The twins are one and six years old. So the younger one just throws terrible hysterics at me. If you don’t do something the way he wants, or don’t give him something, then keep turning out the lights. yells non-stop for half an hour. And I can’t calm you down. He begins to lean back and hits his head on the floor. My other children don’t do anything like that, I didn’t even imagine that it was possible to have a tantrum like that. Tell me, share your experience.
almost something goes wrong - he yells
We don’t have such strong hysterics, so I just don’t pay attention, I said how it will be, period - it calms down very quickly.
The reasons for the screaming were different: she lost her pacifier, the juice in the bottle ran out, the mother had a bottle of hot milk in her hands (which the mother was trying to cool as quickly as possible), they didn’t give her the fifth cup of berries from the bush (the baby is one year and 3 months old for a minute, it seems like it’s not worth it) abuse the berries), then later: I can’t play with a toy, I can’t get sand, snow, and pebbles into a bucket (or, Oh God, the contents of the bucket spilled), I can’t ride down the slide like big kids, they took away the necessary shovel (there are more in the bag 5, but not suitable). You can continue endlessly.
I didn’t go to the doctors specifically. But during the regular commission, the neurologist did not see any problems.
I gave EDAS-306 courses when I was really feeling really bad.
It is very difficult with such children, but as a reward we got a very smart, quick-witted, rapidly developing child. I don’t have to make any effort to develop it; it is everywhere by itself. Therefore, there is probably a balance of good and bad.
Sometimes, looking at phlegmatic children, I feel sad that my girl has such a creepy and persistent character, but then I understand that her character is the engine of her development.
From practical advice I can’t say anything useful. I tried EVERYTHING: consoled, distracted, pitied, scolded, washed with cold water, splashed with holy water, ignored, scared, spanked (I really reproach myself for my incontinence, fortunately this happened several times and only because of my nervous breakdowns). NOTHING helps. Especially up to two years old. You just have to endure this time. After two, especially when they start talking, it becomes easier and simpler. Now the baby is still loud, but at least she understands human speech and can explain WHAT she doesn’t like. And then it depends on the situation: either I resolve the problem, or ignore my daughter if the scream is from the greyhound.
Good luck, colleague. Persen to help us.
tantrums at 5 years old
Hysterics very often, many times a day. At the same time, I 1. Ignored (went to another room) - or And I also really like to command. Like finish the drawing for me, change the water, etc. That.
Lena, don’t you connect hysterics with your girl’s physical well-being? For example, in our country, the main provoking factors are lack of sleep or hunger (he doesn’t eat well in kindergarten, so by the time he’s picked up he’s already ready for hysterics). But if you can somehow solve the problem with hunger, then with lack of sleep it’s more difficult.
Of course, you should take your daughter to a neurologist, but it seems to me that this will not solve the whole problem. The baby won’t live on sedatives all the time.
And about being spoiled is also doubtful. They accuse me of the same thing, that from the first days I fulfilled all my wishes, and now I’m paying the price. And who hasn’t done them when you’re a tiny child?
I read on the topic of children's behavior, observed other children, and came to the conclusion that there is simply a certain part of them that, unfortunately, has a tendency to hysterics (as a doctor I know says - a weak nervous system). Well, the child can’t control himself, he immediately carries him to the screams. And between hysterics he is a completely reasonable creature. And my mother lives as if she’s walking through a minefield - no matter what provokes her.
I found several recipes for myself. In any case, let them shout and don’t follow the lead. If my daughter demands something by shouting, she does not receive it under any circumstances. I get out of sight and lock myself in the bathroom. It’s more difficult on the street, you have to distract yourself with something incredible that comes to mind (at our 3 years old, it still helps.). Once the main intensity of passions passes, I put him in a bathtub with toys, pour foam, give him paints, special markers, etc., as his imagination dictates. Water is very relaxing. Well, go to sleep, the sooner the better.
In general, I hope that everything will go away with age. You just have to be patient. I look at adult girls on the street - they are so beautiful, calm, and maybe they were hysterical in childhood too. And everything passed. And you hope so. I heard in some program that children are treated not by medicine, but by love. This means that we, mothers of screaming girls, need to love them for who they are.
Night tantrums in a child
Yes, and during the day there are constant hysterics, if the hysteria is strong, then she vomits (this is only during the day). She was born with a cephalohemotoma and was tested for intracranial pressure.
hysteria in a 5 year old child
hysteria in a 5 year old child. Whims and hysterics. Child psychology. Internal organs, nerves, blood vessels are stretched and strained (roughly speaking), the muscles are not strong enough and c.
Repeat constantly that you love her, miss her, etc. Make comments - calmly and confidently, you can hug her - it is important for her to know that an adult will stop her in time and will not allow her to go completely wild. You can use phrases with two halves - I love you, but you can’t do that. I'm sorry you're upset, but you can't do that because... She really needs your calm and firmness, as well as adherence to the usual rules of life, including prohibitions. The world turned out to be too unpredictable - we need to show once again that it is structured and manageable - my daughter will be calmer.
Girls, please tell me how harmful tears, frustration, hysterics are during Here's a little from there: . Negative emotions have a strong impact on...
Yes. More. remember that pregnancy is not a disease, but a condition. You can demand more attention to yourself, but hysterics, alas, do not help much with this (I speak from my own experience. My husband, with all his love for me, the children, etc. - if you don’t ask him, but try to “get it” - uh-huh. It’s better not. Considering that we are expecting our 4th child together.)
Chin up. A lot depends on you personally after all! (And in general, a family is emotionally based on a woman. Always.)
How to get a child out of hysterics?
A hysteria starts out of nowhere, it is usually so stupid and the reasons for the hysteria change five times at a time. So, how to stop all this?
Better not mom or dad.
The effect is amazing. At first the kid is stunned, then he starts reading the notation: what are you doing, you’re not supposed to do that, you’re an adult :) He stands right above the adult and shakes his finger :)
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Hysteria: how this condition manifests itself and is corrected
A hysterical attack is an extreme form of manifestation and a sure symptom of hysterical personality disorder. A hysterical attack is often mistakenly called hysteria, but it is immediately worth distinguishing between these two concepts. A hysterical attack is a pathological phenomenon associated with a disease, and hysteria in its everyday understanding is a sharp, violent and uncontrollable outburst of emotions which, however, is not associated with the presence of pathology. The only thing that unites the two names is that one flowed from the other in the image and likeness. Let's take a closer look.
Hysterical attack
So, with hysterical personality disorder, hysterical attacks are not uncommon, which vaguely resemble a seizure that occurs in an epileptic disease. However, there are a number of factors that separate these two phenomena.
A hysterical attack is a form of protest against the dissatisfaction of one’s desires, a way to attract attention and achieve the desired result. In general, this is a kind of provocation.
And yet we should not forget that an attack in the picture of a hysterical disorder is an attack of illness, while hysteria in its “popular” understanding is not a sign of pathology.
Relatively speaking, we can divide all types of hysterical manifestations into three groups:
- in fact, people with hysterical personality disorder (“hysterics and hysterics”) - psychiatrists work with this category;
- people with hysterical accentuation can be quite successfully adapted into society, or visit a psychotherapist; most good theatergoers are from this category;
- and finally, people who are capable of exhibiting a hysterical reaction under certain conditions.
So, we have come to understanding the meaning of the word “hysteria”. This is a person’s reaction to certain conditions that seem insurmountable or excessively difficult for the individual. In general, all people without exception are capable of displaying a hysterical style of response.
Now let’s figure out what constitutes hysteria in an adult normally.
Causes
We have come very close to normal “hysterical attacks”. A good term to better understand this phenomenon is a nervous breakdown. Since every person has his own “limit”, more than which he simply cannot withstand, we are talking not so much about any disorders, but about reaching this limit.
Hysterics are a form of reaction to an unfavorable and difficult environment and condition of human functioning.
Most often, such breakdowns-reactions are observed with significant depletion of a person’s mental resources, the inability to cope with the problem in adequate ways, as well as with chronic disorders of normal functioning.
Such chronic disorders may include:
- irregular, rigid work schedule;
- prolonged sleep disturbance, shallowness or insufficiency;
- crisis situations associated with a series of problems;
- crises of loss and death of loved ones;
- lack of normal opportunity to satisfy the minimum of one’s needs;
- prolonged monotony in the way of life.
As you understand, these are not all the reasons for the development of hysterical reactions or tantrums.
It is difficult to say where the “ceiling” of an individual person is, however, increasing depression, the appearance of pain not associated with somatic diseases (migraines, for example), and eating disorders: lack of appetite, nausea can serve as signals that adequate rest or a change in lifestyle is needed. Let's call this scenario “avoidant”.
This designation is due to the fact that there are two ancient mechanisms that determine reactions to stressful influences: an attack (or destruction, neutralization) of a stressor, or avoidance (flight, an attempt to distance oneself from an unpleasant object). These are the so-called adaptive reactions, that is, those that help to function normally. There are also non-adaptive reactions, namely stupor (imagine that a doe does not run away from a lion), as well as those same hysterical reactions.
However, hysterics in both women and men are not due to the fact that such a reaction is “habitual” for them, but to the fact that neither avoidance tactics nor attack tactics can be used or do not bring results.
By the way, here is an important distinction between hysteria as a reaction to conditions and hysterical personality disorder: hysterical attacks in illness are more common in women and children, while breakdowns also occur in men.
Some manifestations of hysteria
So, we have already noticed that there are two scenarios for the development of a hysterical reaction, that is, hysteria: the avoider and the attacker. The first is mostly characteristic of women and it is this form that is a classic hysteria in the mass consciousness. The second type of reaction is more typical for men and is extremely rarely considered a hysterical reaction, although, in fact, it may be such.
So, the “female” scenario of hysteria is classic crying, tears, screaming with a broken voice, and direct attempts (if possible) to escape from the framework of the traumatic situation. Hysteria of this kind, as a rule, accumulates energy for its manifestation for a long time. In particular, you can notice that you are approaching your “ceiling” by very clear signs. Women begin to get irritated by previously unimportant things, they begin to pay too much attention to little things, and nervousness increases. In principle, this is noticeable to the unprofessional eye, and with simple human ingenuity, you can prevent the impending storm and help a person come into balance.
But the male scenario of hysteria is often saturated with aggression. In addition to the notorious breaking of dishes under hot hand Colleagues and relatives of the man who went off the rails may also end up. By the way, hysteria in men is more often associated with work relationships than in women. Suffice it to recall the popular at one time videos with “office crazy people.” The male scenario, as a rule, is preceded by increasing isolation, rudeness, emerging radicalism and inattention to the environment.
Moreover, if the situation develops unfavorably, the final breakdown may be preceded by an increase in alcohol consumption, which can lead to related problems.
Prevention and treatment
The old truth is that best treatment– this is prevention. However, it is important to take into account that we ourselves are not always able to successfully overcome the current situation, and then it is worth resorting to the help of a psychologist. After all, we don’t treat our own teeth, do we?
So, the first tip for preventing hysteria is to diversify your day. Even if you spend the whole day in the office at the computer, you can always devote time to personal hobbies. Sports, reading books, walks - all this helps maintain optimal tone. By the way, sports and regular physical activity has a beneficial effect on mental state.
Secondly, even an irregular work schedule can be conditionally normalized. Set an exact time for yourself when you go to bed and when you get up. Of course, at first (about a month) it is very difficult to adhere to a new and strict schedule, but then the body will adhere to the chosen regime on “autopilot”. It seems that this is known to men who served in the army.
Thirdly, do not forget about live communication. Smartphones and computers certainly bring us closer in terms of distance, but they do not have many of the most important characteristics of live communication here and now. Set aside at least an hour or two a week to meet with friends and relatives, if necessary, reset the ballast and discuss problems. Such regular “discharges” help to overcome unnecessary worries.
What to do when you already feel that the last straw is close? This obviously requires professional help. When the point of no return is close, make an appointment with a psychologist. It often turns out that just one or two meetings help you unravel the tangle of your experiences and better understand the situation and your place in it.
Sometimes long-term therapy is required, especially when symptoms of depression or psychosomatic illnesses begin to appear.
And one more good method releasing and overcoming accumulated experiences are psychological sessions of neuromuscular relaxation and sensory reproduction. These are unique training groups whose goal is to better understand and manage one’s conditions. Neuromuscular relaxation sessions in general outline help people through their bodily sensations to better understand their emotional states and thereby partially change them. Sensory reproduction sessions simply help you relax and find new sources of strength within yourself.
Hysteria is an extreme manifestation of dissatisfaction, fatigue and stress, but not a disease. And since this phenomenon is a conditional norm, it is much easier to overcome and prevent it.
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There are now quite a lot of behavioral features inherent in people with a predominance of the hysterical component. a large number of, however, the most characteristic ones can be identified. The desire to appear in one’s own opinion and, especially in the eyes of others, as a significant person, which, as a rule, does not correspond objective reality. Externally, these characteristics can manifest themselves in the desire for originality, demonstrativeness, passionate search and thirst for recognition from others, hyperbolization and colorization of one’s experiences, ostentation and “drawing” in behavior.
People with a predominance of hysterical personality traits are characterized by posturing, sometimes deceit, a tendency to deliberate exaggeration, and actions designed for external effect.
Their emotions are bright, stormy external manifestations, are extremely unstable and superficial, their delights and sorrows are expressed in demonstrative forms (loud sobs, wringing of hands, “hysterical arc”, etc.). However, these emotions are not constant and not deep.
One of the main traits of individuals with a predominance of the hysterical component is egocentrism. Those of them who are predominant in fantasy and deceit are called pathological liars, pseudologists, mythomaniacs. To attract attention, they can tell extraordinary stories in which they take on the role of the main characters, talk about the inhuman suffering they have endured, and can amaze others with unusual manifestations of any disease with demonstration of fainting and seizures.
The psyche of such persons is extremely immature and bears the features of mental infantilism. It is often quite difficult for them to get along with others. Such people are much more influenced by direct impressions than by logically meaningful evidence.
Exacerbation of negative hysterical components occurs, as a rule, in crisis life circumstances (stress, exhaustion of the nervous system, age-related crises, various shapes somatic diseases etc.).
Treatment of hysteria
Hysterical components can manifest themselves not only when personality disorders, but also with neuroses, and quite often with psychotic disorders.
As specialists, we recommend that if you begin to experience conditions where you cannot control your emotions, signs of hysteria, hysterical behavior begin to appear, immediately seek help from a good psychiatrist or psychotherapist for timely correction and treatment of hysterics . Do not allow the disease to become chronic and treatment becomes difficult.
Remember that on early stages Treatment of hysteria lends itself well to therapeutic measures and adjustments. In the presence of chronic disorders with the manifestation of hysterical behavior, these conditions can also be treated, but this requires more time and effort, both on the part of the doctor and on the part of the patient himself and his environment.
Not every person experiences hysteria. This explosion of emotions is characteristic, as a rule, of creative and excitable people. Hysteria occurs to release tension. Usually it accumulates for quite a long time. A person maintains external calm for a long time and behaves adequately. And then one day a breakdown occurs and hysteria begins.
The cause of hysteria can be a contradiction between the desire for something and the inability to satisfy it. This is especially pronounced in young children. After all, at an early age they still do not know how to control their desires.
Sometimes hysteria can be caused by an unexpected strong experience, which happens in difficult life circumstances. Often from one’s own powerlessness and inability to change anything.
How to help yourself?
When a tantrum occurs, the best way out for the person who has “lost it” is to work through the situation. In other words, you should not push yourself inside and suppress your emotions. It’s better to throw them out and, figuratively speaking, “enjoy your hysteria.” That is, it is necessary to discharge completely.
It’s another matter if hysteria is close, but it’s not there yet. In this case, you need to switch to something, try to distract yourself. The rule here is this: the stronger the internal tension, the more powerful the method of distraction should be.
If you were nearby?
People around are also able to help a person who is beginning to “explode”. The main thing is to act correctly.
We need to redirect his attention. An effective way is with a slap. However, here you need to be very careful and act based on the specific situation and personality of the person. You should treat the situation calmly and not get angry. This has a calming effect on someone who is hysterical. In some cases, the method of “response aggression” can help someone.
At the same time, the person observing the hysteria should try to portray an attack. Such false hysteria distracts attention, and the person quickly calms down. It happens that the situation is too unpleasant and you can barely restrain yourself. In this case, you can use the “Chinese mirror” method. Repeat after the screamer all his actions. Your task is to show him how he looks from the outside when he behaves like this. This especially helps with children. The child quickly calms down and looks at you with curiosity. During an emotional outburst, try to prevent the person from harming themselves and others.
If you see that he is close to inappropriate actions, you need to intervene: to protect yourself and the “hysterical” person. Remove dangerous and heavy objects from his field of vision - knives, forks, screwdrivers, figurines.
If the rebel is light in weight, you can take him to the bathroom and put him under the shower. Or apply cold to his temples - ice, frozen berries or fruits. Splash cold water on your face. Cooling down not only provides an opportunity to take your mind off what is happening. It slows down reactions and therefore holds back emotions.
If a tantrum occurs with a small child at home, then this option comes to the rescue: the child screams, and you hit yourself.
By doing so, you are showing how hurt his behavior is to you. Usually the child is surprised at the first moment, and then rushes to feel sorry for you.
What to do after a tantrum?
Most people feel empty and confused after an emotional outburst. “When they regain consciousness,” they often have difficulty understanding what they have done. Many do not remember what they did and how they behaved at this time.
When the hysteria ends, do not be outraged by the person’s behavior, do not remind him of what happened. If necessary, give him a sedative - hawthorn infusion or a few drops of motherwort tincture. You can give him warm tea. And after that go to bed.
Comment on the article "Severe hysteria"
Excellent article, wish there were more like this interesting articles) Keep up the good work, I wish you success)
04/15/2013 18:13:26, Anna GamzovaJust a terrible article...
Punch a person in the face??? Let's assume this is a girl, sorry of course, but only a real asshole can do this...
Yesterday I felt bad and now my MCH tried to do this (thanks to this article) the result is that it brings out even more, and now that I am calm, I no longer feel any love for him, after his insults, blows, what he uses he wanted to force me into a cold shower when I’m already sick, and the “mirror” technique is generally deadly... Yes, of course, try to imitate a person, for this you can get not weak from a calm person, but from someone who is in such condition, you can expect such worse consequences!!!
Often the person who is with you at such a moment is the cause of this state, and such behavior on the part of the observed person is at least incorrect and humiliating...
At the very least... well, I’ve stopped loving and respecting him now...
So, dear men, read the reviews carefully, your aggression, indifferent calm, anger and such tactless behavior will not lead to anything good, then you will only regret it greatly(
Well, how smart our reviewers are... probably everyone fancies themselves as Sigmund Freud... well, yes... someone wrote some stupid article... some pathetic self-taught psychologist... but here we are! We know everything and we can deny everything
10/17/2008 08:59:34, MaxTotal 10 messages .
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BUT here’s a question: Grandma doesn’t have such strong hysterics (since she has). He even apologized over the phone for behaving this way.
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Help me how to react to the violent daily tantrums of a 7 year old boy. There is an older sister, 12 years old, who is a completely different calm child. My husband and I are trying to figure out what is happening to our son and how to help him. It seems like he needs to vent at least once a day. negative emotions. But the hysterics are very strong and sometimes last for a long time (if you don’t react, it can take an hour).
blossomed, and Tonya went to her room, and when everyone went to breakfast together she became very hysterical, her mother could not calm her down for an hour. Of course, I did the wrong thing...
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They don’t happen very often here, but if they start, then in full force. It usually starts in the presence of both parents, when my son and I are one on one, everything is wonderful, and so it is with dad. A hysteria starts out of nowhere, it is usually so stupid and the reasons for the hysteria change five times at a time. So, how to stop all this?
