Sexual orientation - you're born that way, not made that way (GDP). Gay people, tell us why you made this choice? Is it true that you can’t choose your orientation?

All statistical studies have always shown that same-sex preferences are formed in the womb or in the first months of life. Despite this, at the everyday level you can very often hear the logic: if you let a boy play with dolls, if he has a stern mother, if his father takes a girl hunting, the child’s preferences will change for the worse, the most dangerous and black side. The same thing will happen if you allow gays to raise children, allow them to march with banners on the street and promote tolerance in the media.

This confrontation reflects a broader dispute. For science, a person is a complex system with its own internal logic of development. For, relatively speaking, a teacher, a person is rather a tabula rasa, a blank slate on which one can write both good and bad. about the fate of an American judge who is suspected of homosexuality, raises precisely this topic.

Leda Plekhanova: “There are numerous opinions that homosexuality can be acquired. There are also examples of people dramatically changing their orientation. Often as a tribute to fashion.”

Ruslan Muravyov about the danger of gay pride parades as a means of propaganda: “My children are impressionable. It's no big deal, don't you think? Otherwise, maybe you can give them the correct diagnosis. It's probably better not to let him go outside? Yes?"

A study of identical twins separated after birth shows that if one is gay, there is more than a 50% chance that the other will be gay. This indicates a very strong influence of genes: even with a clear inclination, a person under environmental pressure may never find his sexual identity (or not tell the researcher about it).

Another study found that the order of boys in a family and their number play an important role: each older brother increases the likelihood of the younger one becoming gay by 33%. Among first-born children there are few gays, among those who have one older brother there are a third more, etc. (However, for some reason, only right-handed older brothers influence.) Scientists believe that the reason is in the mother’s immune system, which With each pregnancy, she reacts more and more strongly to the presence of a boy in the womb.

Some anatomical traits that develop early in the embryo correlate well with sexuality. Thus, an excess of papillary patterns on the left index finger compared to the right is found twice as often in homosexuals as in straights - this feature is formed at the 17th week of embryonic development. The good thing about patterns on the fingers is that they do not affect sexuality - they are just markers: obviously, the features of the pattern are caused by some reasons (mother's hormones?), which also affect sexuality.

Lesbians have long been offended by the attention of researchers, especially since brain research has shown that the mechanism of sexual arousal is the same in lesbians and heterosexual men, as well as in women and homosexual men.

The top row is the left amygdala, the bottom row is the right. Shows activity during sexual arousal. The first sample on the left is a heterosexual man, the second is a heterosexual woman, then a gay and a lesbian

The picture shows a clear distinction between the activated areas of the brain. This is its anatomy, the basic structure formed during embryogenesis.

According to various studies, the proportion of people with pronounced homosexuality in different cultures ranges from 2% to 13%. Studying this demographic is difficult: people often hide their preferences from others, and many from themselves. Under successful circumstances, a person can throw off this oppression and “come out of the closet” - hence all the stories with an “unexpected” change in sexuality. For some, however, it looks like this: the person was lucky - his vice did not break out, but he found himself in a bad environment - and life went downhill.

But, in general, there is no need for me to talk about this: my story will not help resolve the dispute about how to deal with this vice. It doesn't matter at all that science proves that homosexuality is innate. Because those who are afraid of this phenomenon will see here only a recipe for struggle, for the salvation of their children and humanity. Here I come to another view that has always been present in culture along with the idea of tabula rasa. According to Victorian morality, nature is evil, a set of chthonic forces that overcome man. But the human spirit is like a horseman capable of riding nature. Even if you are unlucky and the tabula is initially unclean, you can rewrite it.

If so, then science, having learned that homosexuality is an innate phenomenon, should help “heal” humanity from it. Two years ago, the Rev. Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, said: “If the biological nature [of homosexuality] is established and a prenatal test and treatment are developed that can revert the orientation to heterosexuality, we will support it.” At the same time, the priest Joseph Fessio (British editor of the works of Pope Benedict XVI) stated: “Since from the point of view of the Church homosexuality is a disorder, a disease, the Church will welcome any attempts to eradicate the neurobiological factors that contribute to its occurrence.”

In our age, it costs nothing to reject an embryo based on genetic characteristics. And as soon as the genes and embryogenesis factors responsible for the formation of homosexuality become fully known, an important test will come for humanity. People (unless their attitude changes) will be able for the first time in history to stop the appearance in society of such figures as Alan Turing and Oscar Wilde, Andrei Kolmogorov and Annie Leibovitz, Harvey Milk and Stephen Fry.

I don't want my children to live in such a world.

The Kiev radio program featured Rozmov, a presenter, psychologist Ivan Storchak and psychologist, trainer, author of trainings about LGBT for doctors (psychologists, doctors, journalists, social workers, police officers) ) Marini Didenko

What are the types of sexual orientation?

Today, it is already known throughout the world that there are three variants of the norm of human sexual orientation: heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality. We have different attitudes to this, but, for example, in the United States back in the early 70s they came to the conclusion that homosexuality is not a disease and a variant of the norm.

Why is the topic of homosexuality taboo in Ukraine?

In our country for a long time there was no sex at all, but now we have had a sexual revolution, we are starting to talk about sex, about the manifestation of sexuality. We are even trying to introduce sex education in schools... Now the topic is developing, people are starting to talk about it and are no longer afraid to show their feelings and their love. They want to live openly in an open world. It is important for them to take their loved one by the hand and walk down the street with him. Unfortunately, in Ukraine it is very difficult for homosexuals, because there is a lot of discrimination, aggression and rejection. Society, family. Ukrainian society is not ready for manifestations of different types of love.

What, in your opinion, is needed for society’s attitude towards the topic of homosexuality to change for the better?

First of all, through education. People are afraid of what they don't know. We were never taught about same-sex love at school. We didn’t read about this in books, we didn’t see it anywhere. Now it is very important that people receive the correct information about what homosexuality is. That this is not a disease, that this is a variant of the norm. That people do not choose their sexual orientation, they are born that way. They can't change it. A person does not wake up in the morning and choose what sexual orientation he has today. It doesn't happen that way. A person takes a very long time to accept himself. For some it takes years or decades. Some people don't come to this point, sometimes they turn to psychologists. There are American studies that show that there are teenage suicides if the child cannot accept himself. In adulthood, there is a problem of alcoholism and drug addiction, if a person cannot accept himself.

Do parents need help when they discover their child's sexual orientation?

If this is a small child, a teenager who is dependent on his parents, then this may be forced treatment, which does not exist, because there is nothing to treat. Unfortunately, in Ukraine there are still such “specialists” who take advantage of the parents’ state of shock.

The parents are traumatized and this is grief for them. Because when a child is born, the mother and father create some kind of projection of the child’s life. And when a child in Ukrainian society says that he is gay, lesbian, transgender, and so on, then at that moment all these pictures collapse for the parent. They go through stages that are very similar to the stages of experiencing grief and loss. First, the parent is in a state of shock, then denial begins, then a feeling of guilt... Some go to religion, some go to specialists, some cry for days. There is also a huge problem that you can’t talk to anyone about this. Because you won’t tell anyone about your child’s homosexuality and you are left alone with your emotions. Therefore, it is very difficult and difficult... And after passing through the stage of feeling guilty, the stage of expressing feelings begins. There may be negative or positive emotions, but the main thing is that they already exist.

The next stage is decision making. Decisions can be different: accept your child, but, for example, never talk about your personal life again. The second option is a conflict that can drag on for many years, the third and best option is accepting the child for who he is.

What are the stages of self-acceptance by a gay, lesbian, or transgender person?

I want the listeners of our broadcast to understand that sexual orientation cannot be changed, you cannot wake up and get rid of what nature has given you. Every LGBT person goes through a difficult period of acceptance and self-understanding.

There are six stages of self-acceptance. For some they take several months, years, for others their whole life. The first stage is doubt, when I understand that “for some reason I am different from others.” The second stage is comparison, when a person sees that his peers are dating representatives of the opposite sex, but for him this is not natural. The third stage is tolerance, when a person understands what is happening to him and to some extent agrees with it. Someone remains at this stage, someone goes further and then we talk about the stage of internal self-acceptance. There are also stages 5 and 6, which not all LGBT representatives reach. This is the stage of pride. This is when a person has accepted his homosexuality and wants to tell the world about it. Coming outs are very often done at this stage. And the last stage, which, unfortunately, even fewer people reach. This is the stage of synthesis, when the issue of sexual orientation and gender identity becomes unimportant in a person's life. He has socialized, he or she has a loved one. Sexual orientation fades into second and third place, as with heterosexual people. Through aggression and discrimination, very few people reach the stage of pride; more often they get stuck at the stage of tolerance or even earlier, and then problems begin.

Do homosexual people need help from psychologists?

As part of my work in a project supported by the French foundation Sidaction, I have the opportunity to provide psychological support to gay men living with HIV and their partners, as well as train doctors to be more tolerant. I want society and colleagues to understand that homosexuality is not a reason to go to a psychologist. That is, if a person is gay, this does not mean that he needs to go to a psychologist. There, other questions arise precisely through pressure, through non-acceptance of oneself, non-acceptance by society, by parents. And then problems begin for a person when he is not accepted as he was born, for example, through unsafe sexual practices he can become an HIV-positive person. And this can cause depression and some anxiety conditions. And then you need a psychologist so that he can help deal with this.

The project "Territory of Kohannya" is being implemented with support Internews.

The first booklets in this series were created by Rose Robertson, founder of the Gay Parents Movement, whose worldview, along with years of counseling and hard work, led to the creation of modern parenting organizations across the country.

This manual is a continuation of Rose's ideas, so much of the text remains unchanged in this expanded edition. Of course, most of the additions are routine updates resulting from amendments and changes in legislation and problems we have encountered since the publication of the original edition in 1971-1972.

Starting to understand

Much has been written about homosexuality, and even more has been said. Currently, many theories have been put forward, but from all of them only one fact follows: no one has conclusively proven what exactly causes homosexuality. And yet, unfortunately, homosexuals are wrongly discriminated against.

The best evidence suggests that homosexuality is a genetic phenomenon. That is, just as an arbitrary set of genes strictly determines that one family member will be born blond or left-handed, another arbitrary set of genes is responsible for homosexual orientation. However, this and other theories are of little help to people, in particular parents, who are faced with the fact that the child they love may turn out to be gay or lesbian.

Explaining homosexuality in simple words is quite difficult. Mainly, it is a completely sensory aspect that appears in children from an early age and develops as they grow older. This aspect does not have any influence on them and their lives, with the exception of one point: their deepest affection is directed towards people of the same sex. Like all of us, gays and lesbians experience the desire and need to give and receive love. Lesbians and gays can build different relationships with heterosexuals, with the exception of sexual ones. When it comes to sex, gays and lesbians are not very different from the rest of the population: some are more interested in sex, some less, and some stick to the golden mean.

This is not a disease

People often ask the question: “How can this be cured?” The answer is that homosexuality is not a disease. This is the natural state of affairs for gays and lesbians. They do not choose homosexuality, just as no one else chooses heterosexuality. Sexual orientation, hetero or homo, is not our creation, and we are not responsible for the reasons or process of its occurrence.

Orientation is not chosen

It is not enough to simply reiterate that sexual orientation is not a choice. In all children, awareness of sexual orientation comes with the development of body physiology. From this point on, it is very important to show the difference between homosexual experiences, which most children have, and homosexual orientation.

In the first case, it is a sexual game, a purely physical experiment without any emotional overtones. In the second case, this is the development of relationships, including a very deep emotional experience.

Early difference

It is at the early stage of awareness of sexual orientation that a homosexual child first feels his difference from others, and for the first time feels emotional and sexual attraction to his own sex. In the current climate of hatred, discrimination and prejudice, and perhaps out of fear and embarrassment, our sons and daughters often do not admit their sexual orientation even to themselves.

Our sons and daughters who realize they are homosexual probably feel it fully from the age of 11 or 12. When homosexuals recall this period of their lives, they usually talk about a growing sense of discomfort and alienation from other children for reasons that they could not clearly understand at the time.

Stress and Identity

The conflict and lack of self-identity, loneliness and guilt that our children are taught to feel often cause them great suffering. Unfortunately, current society still promotes heterosexuality as the norm, despite positive changes towards equality.

As our children develop sexually, it becomes clear that they differ from other children only in orientation. Homosexual children often experience feelings of fear and loneliness. They don't always identify with the lesbians and gays they see on TV.

Rejection and ridicule

Homosexual young people are afraid of being rejected by their parents and perhaps by any other person to whom they may turn for advice. They are afraid of contempt and aggression from their friends and fellow students, that some of them will repeat jokes “about fagots” that will spread throughout the school and, unfortunately, among older people.

They are afraid to give themselves away with their appearance or glance or even an untimely remark. They find it incredibly difficult to meet other gays and lesbians and, being isolated, they may feel like “the only gay/only lesbian in the world,” a phrase we often hear from them. Simply put, young homosexuals experience exactly the same shock as their parents who found out about their son or daughter's orientation. But our children experience these feelings alone. It is not uncommon for young homosexuals to gather their courage for 3-4 years before coming out to their parents.

Parents' reaction

The main reaction of parents who are completely unprepared for such a development in their child will be shock, rage and fear. Some blame themselves, some deny the child, and some want to help, but don’t know how. Many, regardless of their will, feel alienated from their own children. Even if love continues to bind the child and the parent, it does not reduce the shock and embarrassment of the latter.

Ignorance

If we study the reasons for the different reactions of parents, a fairly complete picture will emerge. First, although there are well-written books about gays and lesbians, little is known about them and they are not often seen in public libraries and bookstores. Secondly, parents, along with other members of society, have absorbed all the existing myths and speculations about homosexuality.

Parents of homosexual children face a lack of information. Very rarely, if at all, is homosexuality talked about at home in a way that is different from the media sensationalism, and often with strong distortions that are based on limited knowledge or distorted by the media. The resulting image is not very different from the one that parents first received in childhood in an atmosphere of prejudice, fear and ridicule of homosexuality. Even those parents who consider themselves very understanding do not expect homosexuality to appear in their family. Don't blame yourself. These prejudices, these conjectures and fictions dominate our society. But these are not ideas that you, as a parent/family/friend of a gay person, would adhere to. As you begin to receive more and more information, the shock will begin to wear off, you will eventually feel these prejudices go away, and you will understand how distorted and stereotypical these images of homosexuals are and how they bear a huge responsibility for discrimination against the homosexual part of the population.

Religious prejudice and intolerance

Third, if parents share certain religious views, then one of the difficulties they may face is reconsidering religious doctrines with a son or daughter's homosexual orientation. While the purpose of this booklet is not to provide a workable solution, here are a few points to consider.

Quite a lot of work has been done by clergy of all denominations to develop more tolerant attitudes towards homosexuals. The laws of the Church are mainly based on the ancient laws of the Jews and perhaps in those days it was simply necessary for the Jewish people to “be fertile, to go and multiply” for the sake of survival. Today, when we need to control the population on the planet, this is not entirely relevant. For example, the texts written by the Apostle Paul were written about two thousand years ago. It is not known how fair they were at the time, but it is very doubtful that some of the sex-discriminatory restrictions he is supposed to describe would be considered acceptable in the light of existing knowledge. We are taught that “we are all children of God,” and many homosexuals are believers. For people of other religions, the problem is undoubtedly even more complex. And the best way for them is to seek advice from relevant religious organizations.

You can often hear the phrase from parents: “Why did my child choose this lifestyle?” And again it must be emphasized that homosexual orientation is not chosen - it is natural for a given person. In light of the many difficulties that homosexuals have to overcome, and the hostility that they can face even from those who know and love them, it should be absolutely obvious that most people would not choose this lifestyle full of all kinds of pressure. People don't choose heterosexuality. It's just part of their personality. The same is true for gays and lesbians.

Parents also often ask: “Where did I go wrong? When did I do wrong? Homosexuality only becomes a problem if homosexuality is considered a “problem.” Parents are doing everything right. They do not and cannot do anything that would make their child homosexual.

Parent organizations

Since 1969, parent organizations have studied thousands of families from all walks of life—families experiencing divorce or separation; single parent families; ethnic minority and interracial families; families practicing open relationships; large families and families with one child; patriarchal families and families where the relationship between parents comes first; families in great need, families with average income and well-to-do families.

Thus, parent organizations had a unique opportunity to identify a factor common to all types of families. Any factor in environment, upbringing, atmosphere, child-parent relationships, and family experiences that causes homosexuality. Nothing of the kind was found. On the contrary, the experience of parent organizations has shown that common explanations for the existence of homosexuals are not logical enough.

Myths about parental “guilt”

Take, for example, one of the most common explanations of homosexuality, according to which a weak father (or no father) and a strong, domineering mother will have a gay son. This is a completely absurd theory. If it had been fair, World War II, in which millions of men were away from home for very long periods of time, would have resulted in a large number of lesbians and gays among children born and raised at that time. But that did not happen. In fact, this and other theories of the origin of homosexuality indirectly hint that their parents are to blame for children's homosexuality.

Let's see how wrong this is. If you have one child, ask yourself how much his or her upbringing was different from most other children. If you have other children, ask yourself if there were any differences in the way you raised your gay child and your other children. Hardly. Even if something in the upbringing of your son or daughter was significantly different from the upbringing of other children, then why, out of a thousand thousand consequences, was homosexuality the result?

The truth is that it is easier for parents to blame themselves than to accept that there is something in their child that they never knew about. This search for a reason within yourself is a kind of punishment that you impose on yourself. But it will not help either you or your child. In fact, with such self-torture you only increase the problems of your daughter or your son.

The power of family

Try to accept the fact that you have experienced a shock that few parents are prepared for. Your child has experienced exactly the same shock for several years. Now put a little faith in the strength that holds a family together in times of crisis. Realize that there is no “right” reaction for parents in this situation. However, as in all family situations, your child needs a signal that you still love him or her no matter what. Whether it be words or actions, this is the beginning of movement in the right direction.

Don't hide your emotions

Don't suppress your emotions with your mind. Some parents will say that they will accept their child for who they are, even if deep down they are upset. Don't hide your emotions. It is better to tell your child that you were completely unprepared for such a shock and that you still love him or her and nothing will change that, but you still need time to recover from the shock and want to get help from FFLAG Friends of Lesbians and Gays). At the same time, contact parent organizations, if not for the purpose of obtaining information and support, then in order to express your emotions. Parents also experience shock, pain and guilt. Share these feelings with someone outside of your family who will listen more understandingly, help you release this burden, and reduce the risk of confrontation in your family.

Some parents start the conversation first

Quite by chance, parents realize that their child is homosexual before he or she decides to tell them about it. Gays and lesbians usually say that it would have been much easier for them to grow up if their moms and dads told them things like this: “I once thought you were gay. If this is the case, then I want you to know that this will not in any way affect the love I have for you as my child. I need to find out more information about homosexuality so I can know how best to help you be happy. Lesbian/gay or not, I love you and if it helps, let’s talk about it.”

These thoughts, put into words, and in some families, written rather than spoken, can become a bridge between you and your child, who may want to speak first, but cannot find the right words. Even young people who are clearly aware of their homosexuality may have difficulty accepting this side of themselves. Therefore, it is better to gradually and gently show (over time) your love for your child and the strength of that bond, thus creating an atmosphere in which your son or daughter will find it easier to talk to you.

Bisexuality

Parents often wonder if their child will change as they grow up and if they realize too late that they are not predominantly gay, will this cause them great emotional harm? The answer is that it is impossible to speak for all children at once.

If a child is 12-15 years old, then there is a possibility that he is bisexual, although pronounced bisexuals make up a small part of the population. Given the pressures placed on gays and lesbians, it is unlikely that people of other orientations will identify as such for long. The most important thing is that your children do not feel this pressure. The support, love and understanding of parents and loved ones is extremely necessary for homosexuals at this rather difficult stage of their lives.

This is not pedophilia

Another misconception parents have about homosexuality is that they think lesbians and gays want to be intimate with young children. This is an absolute untruth, but one of the myths that appeared as a result of society’s ignorance of the nature of homosexuality. A mentally healthy, developed homosexual is not interested in children sexually in the same way as a mentally healthy and developed heterosexual. In fact, according to statistics, a huge number of cases of child abuse are committed with the participation of persons of heterosexual orientation and, unfortunately, within the family.

It's quite common

Another fairly common question is: “Are there more gays and lesbians now than before?” According to data used in the Wolfendon Report up to 1957, at least 1 in 20 people are predominantly or exclusively homosexual. According to recent studies, the ratio is more likely to be 1 in 15. This is not an increase in homosexuals. This is the result of the fact that since the beginning of the discriminalization of homosexuality (for example, the Act of 1967 in the USA), more and more people are freely coming out and living openly. This is especially true for young people. They increasingly refuse to lead a double life: to be one person at home and a completely different person outside the home. This is one of the reasons why so many gay people are now coming out to their parents. The “family” we are often told about is exactly what shapes our society. We may personally encounter gays and lesbians in our families, at work, or in social life. In any of these situations, they need our understanding, support, respect and love. This is the result of knowledge. Discrimination is the result of ignorance.

HIV and AIDS

Finally, and very importantly, it is necessary to address the fears of parents, relatives, friends and colleagues of homosexuals regarding HIV and AIDS. The only correct step that parents can and should take is to make sure that their child, whether he is gay or straight, is fully aware of the problem and is aware that during any intimate communication, including vaginal, oral or anal contact , it is necessary to practice “safe sex”. This means using a condom. It is necessary to make relevant literature available to children. But you should not focus on this, since this disease is transmitted through semen, blood and body secretions. As with all matters of sex, knowledge eliminates risk and fear. Ignorance and prejudice can literally be killers. Make sure you are fully aware.

If a gay or lesbian woman brings a partner into the home to meet the family, he should be given the same welcome as the partner of a heterosexual family member would be given.

Reaching this stage of the relationship may take some time, love and respect. But it is important to recognize the need to overcome prejudice for the sake of the interests of all family members, and in particular so that you continue to provide the hospitality to which every child has a right and which, in turn, will be shown to you if you are open.

Conclusion

In this booklet, we wanted, among other things, to emphasize that homosexuality is just as normal as heterosexuality. It is very difficult to be a completely happy person if your sexuality is rejected, especially by those you love and care about. By sharing his emotions and experiences with your child, you can strengthen the bond that exists between you and significantly increase everyone's chance of happiness.

Translation: Elena Agafonova

This article will be a separate item, since it is very important and touches on many issues that were discussed here from a professional journalistic point of view. Translation of the article - [To view the link].

“Answers to your questions about sexual orientation and homosexuality,” published on the website [To view link], the largest professional association of psychologists in the United States, which includes more than 150 thousand specialists.
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Answers to your questions about sexual orientation and homosexuality

* What is “sexual orientation”?
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Sexual orientation is a stable emotional, romantic, sexual and loving attachment to another person. It should be distinguished from other components of a person's sexuality, such as biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being a woman or a man), and social gender role (the degree of conformity to cultural norms that prescribe certain feminine or masculine behavior).
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Sexual orientation according to the object of affection varies from exclusive homosexuality to exclusive heterosexuality; between these “poles” is bisexuality, in which both homo- and heterosexual attachments are represented in different combinations. People of a homosexual orientation are sometimes called "gay" (both men and women) or "lesbian" (women only). [in Russian "gay" is used only in relation to men]
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Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior: while orientation has to do with feelings and identity, behavior is an action that may or may not express these feelings. [just as sexual behavior may stem from reasons other than sexual orientation]
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* What factors shape a person’s sexual orientation?
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There are many theories that try to describe the reasons that shape a person’s sexual orientation; Most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of psychological (personal life experiences), biological and socio-cultural factors. In most cases, sexual orientation is formed in the early years of life. Recent research also suggests that genetic and hormonal factors may play a role. In summary, it must be recognized that there are likely many factors that influence a person's sexual orientation, and the importance of different factors varies for different people.
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* Can a person choose their sexual orientation?
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No, he can not. A person cannot decide who to be: homosexual or heterosexual. Most people develop their sexual orientation at such an early age that no sexual activity precedes it. Although a person can choose whether or not to express their sexual orientation in action, they cannot consciously choose or change it at will.
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*Can sexual orientation be changed through treatment?
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No. Although most gay or bisexual people live successful, happy lives, there are still people who may seek to change their sexual orientation through treatment. Typically, such a desire arises in connection with rejection and pressure from family, society or religious community. In fact, homosexuality is not a disease, does not require any treatment and cannot be changed by any treatment.
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In most cases, when gays, lesbians or bisexuals seek help from psychologists, they do not at all want to change their sexual orientation; more often they seek advice in connection with the process of “coming out” [telling other people about their orientation], in connection with the need to live in conditions of rejection and hostility from others, and most often they are brought to a psychologist by exactly the same problems as heterosexually oriented people.
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* Can sexual orientation be changed through so-called "conversion therapy"?
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Some doctors who have used so-called "conversion therapy" report being able to change their clients' sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. A careful study of such messages revealed, however, a number of facts discrediting such messages. For example, the sources of such messages almost always turn out to be organizations whose ideology condemns homosexuality. Such “scientific” reports, in addition, for some reason chronically suffer from poor documentation of the “treatment” process, while such documentation is standard required for all cases of intervention in the sphere of human psychological health.
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The American Psychological Association tries to closely monitor all attempts at such therapy. In 1997, the Association's Council of Representatives issued a resolution on the inadmissibility of any elements of homophobia in the process of psychological assistance, in which it also stated the right of clients to self-determination and the obligation of professional psychologists to respect this self-determination and to delimit their activities from the influence of the views of certain social groups. [please note: in the texts of English-speaking psychotherapists you will not find the word “patient” anywhere; it is considered unacceptable in relation to people who are healthy; instead of “patient” the neutral “client” is used]
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[for reference: theories of “conversion” (“restorative”) therapy treat homosexuality either as a developmental delay, or as a serious psychopathology, or as a combination of both, and use psychoanalytic and pharmacological psychiatric drugs for “treatment”]
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* Is homosexuality an intellectual or emotional disorder?
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No. Psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals agree that homosexuality is neither a disease nor an intellectual or emotional disorder. Over 35 years of objective, well-designed scientific research has proven that homosexuality is not associated with mental, emotional or social problems. The idea of homosexuality as a disease arose during that initial period of research, when psychiatrists worked exclusively with people who had mental disorders: the discovery of homosexuality in some of them was mistakenly associated with these mental disorders. When later researchers included healthy (without mental illness) people in their field of view, the idea of a connection between mental disorder and homosexuality showed its inadequacy.
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In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association recognized the importance of new, scientifically organized research and decided to remove homosexuality from the list of mental and emotional disorders. Two years later, the Psychological Association confirmed its agreement with the correctness of this decision. For more than 25 years, experts from both associations have worked to eliminate the stigma of mental illness that some people continue to associate with homosexuality.
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* Can gays, lesbians and bisexuals be good parents?
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Yes. Comparative studies of the development of children raised by homosexual and heterosexual parents have not revealed any differences in this development in children of both groups. Four important indicators were assessed: intellectual development, emotional well-being, ability to adapt to society, and popularity among peers. It is also important to understand that the sexual orientation of parents is not transmitted to children through “education” - neither based on example, nor purposeful.
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Another myth about homosexuality is the belief that homosexual people are more likely than heterosexual people to engage in sexual activity with children. These statements are not true.
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* What makes some gays, lesbians and bisexuals come out as gay?
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The reason is that discussing this aspect of their personality with other people is important for their psychological health. In fact, the process of self-identification (“coming out”) for gays, lesbians and bisexuals is inextricably linked to their assessment of their sexuality [which is also related to assessments of other people]: the more positive this assessment, the higher the indicators of self-esteem, psychological balance and health.
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* Why is the process of “coming out” painful and difficult for some gays, lesbians and bisexuals?
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This process is not difficult for all of them. But often homosexual or bisexual people, having realized their orientation, feel fear, “otherness” from most people, and a negative attitude of society towards this, from its point of view, “deviation from the norm.” It is especially difficult, in this sense, for children and adolescents who are aware of their unusual sexuality. Depending on their family and community, these children are likely to encounter prejudice and misinformation about homosexuality. Children and adolescents are especially vulnerable to the psychological pressure of social norms and prejudices. They are particularly worried about the possibility of being rejected by their family and peers, and they suffer especially greatly from the condemnation of religious groups that are significant to their family. Gay, lesbian and bisexual people have significant concerns about possible problems at work or school when their sexual orientation is revealed. Unfortunately, homosexual and bisexual people are at greater risk of physical violence than heterosexual people. Research conducted in California in the mid-1990s found that nearly 1/5 of all lesbians and more than 1/4 of all gay men surveyed had been victims of hate-based violence based on their sexual orientation. In another study of more than 500 gay adults, more than half of those surveyed reported experiencing various forms of similar violence, from name-calling to physical violence.
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* What can be done to overcome prejudice and end discrimination against gays, lesbians and bisexuals?
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Research has shown that those who are most tolerant of homosexual or bisexual people are those who have close personal acquaintance with one of these people. This proves the point of view of scientists, according to which hostility towards people with homosexual or bisexual orientation is not based on facts, but on prejudice and false stereotypes.
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For sexual minorities, protection is as important as for any minority in general. Some countries have strict laws against “hate crimes” against sexual minorities, and 10 American states have laws against discrimination based on sexual orientation.
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* Why is the level of knowledge about homosexuality important for society?
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Providing all people with reliable information about homosexuality can lead to a decrease in hatred towards people of this orientation. Accurate information about homosexuality is very important for young people who are just discovering and trying to understand their sexuality. Fears that access to information about homosexuality contributes to the “development of homosexuality” are unfounded and false.
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* Are all gay and bisexual men really infected with AIDS?
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No. This is a common myth. The risk of contracting HIV is associated with culture and sexual hygiene, and not with sexual orientation. Following safe sex rules and not taking drugs are equally important for gay, bi, and heterosexual people.
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The article in English is [To view link

For many years, most psychologists believed that homosexuality was the result of poor parenting, caused by a pathological relationship between child and parent, or caused by atypical sexual experiences. However, scientific research has not supported this view (see, for example, Bell, Weinberg & Hammersmith, 1981). Parents of people with a homosexual orientation were not particularly different from those whose children were heterosexual (and if differences were found, the direction of cause and effect remained unclear). Most homosexuals experienced homosexual desires long before their first sexual experience, which could actually cause unusual conditioning to take hold. Only after researchers were unable to explain the origin of homosexuality by social influence did they turn their attention to theories according to which the causes of homosexuality lie within the person himself.

The most reliably established correlation is between adult homosexuality in adults and signs of gender nonconformity in childhood (Bailey & Zucker, 1995). As a rule, homosexual men in childhood were effeminate boys, and lesbians were masculine girls. Gender nonconformity emerges in early childhood despite, rather than because of, the effects of socialization. Indeed, effeminate boys who later became homosexuals (Green, 1987) often suffered in childhood due to reactions to their unusual behavior. The association between sexual orientation and gender nonconformity in childhood is universal across cultures (Whitam & Mathy, 1986; Whitam & Mathy, 1991). Although we do not know the exact causes of gender discrepancy in childhood, the overall picture suggests a determining role for innate factors rather than learning.

We get more direct evidence of this from studies of siblings, including twins. Families of gay men have more gay brothers compared to heterosexual men, and lesbians have more lesbian sisters compared to heterosexual women (Bailey & Pillard, 1995). Twin studies suggest that these patterns reflect the influence of genes rather than family environment. Identical twins are more similar in sexual orientation than fraternal twins (Bailey & Pillard, 1995). On the other hand, at least half the time, if one identical twin is homosexual, the other twin is heterosexual. Although this suggests the important role of environment in shaping sexual orientation, such influence does not necessarily have to be social. Biological factors may also cause differences between twins (Martin, Boomsma, & Machen, 1997). When identical twins have different sexual orientations, they often remember that they already had differences as children, implying early environmental influences. However, the precise nature of the influence of environment and upbringing remains unclear.

More direct evidence of genetic influence comes from DNA studies (Hamer et al., 1993). Pairs of brothers with a homosexual orientation inherit the same part of the X chromosome, Xq28, more often than can be explained by chance. Perhaps a gene located in this area influences the determination of male sexual orientation. This hypothesis is also supported by the fact that heterosexuals usually do not inherit the same version of Xq28 as their homosexual brothers (Hie et al., 1995).

The most influential theory states that there is a region in the human brain that determines sexual orientation, and the development of this center is dependent on early hormonal influences (LeVay, 1996). According to this theory, homosexual men have female centers of sexual orientation, and lesbians have male centers. Two examples known to science of boys who were accidentally deprived of their genitals in early childhood and then raised as women also support this point of view. As adults, both were primarily attracted to women, which is consistent with the influence of prenatal development more than postnatal rearing (Bradley, Oliver, Chernick, & Zuckner, 1998; Diamond & Sigmundson, 1996). One study compared the brains of homosexual men with the brains of heterosexual men and women and concluded that one of the nuclei (clusters of nerve cells) was larger in the brains of heterosexual men than in the brains of homosexual men, which were more similar in this respect. on the brains of heterosexual women (LeVay, 1991). This nucleus is located in the hypothalamus, which is known to play an important role in determining sexual behavior. The hypothalamus probably develops very early, and thus this difference between homosexual and heterosexual people is unlikely to be caused by differences in experience.

The origins of sexual orientation are controversial and much work remains to be done in this area. Much of the most important data (eg Hamer et al., 1993; LeVay, 1991) needs to be re-examined. At the moment, the role of the social environment cannot be completely ruled out, although it has not yet been confirmed by research. On the contrary, as a result of scientific research, a lot of evidence has been obtained that homosexuality is innate.

Sexual orientation is not innate

Dr. Bailey and I agree that there is indeed a connection or correlation between biological variables and sexual orientation. But I propose an alternative interpretation of biological facts - the exotic becomes erotic (ESE) theory of sexual orientation (Bern, 1996). See→

GDP. Chapter 11. Emotions

Other than hunger and sex, the basic feelings we experience include emotions such as pleasure and anger. Emotions are closely related to motives. Emotions can activate and guide behavior in the same way as organic motives. Emotions accompany motivated behavior: sex, for example, is not only a powerful motive, but also a potential source of pleasure. Despite the similarity of motives and emotions; they must be distinguished. One common difference is that emotions are initiated from the outside, while motives are activated from within. That is, emotions are usually caused by external events, and emotional reactions are directed towards these events; motives, on the contrary, are more often caused by internal reasons (disturbance of the homeostatic balance, for example) and, naturally, are aimed at certain environmental objects (such as food, water or a sexual partner). Another difference between motives and emotions is that a motive is usually caused by a specific need, whereas an emotion can be caused by many different stimuli (think of how many different things can make you angry, for example). These differences are not absolute. Sometimes the motive can be triggered by an external source, for example when a feeling of hunger appears at the sight of food. And discomfort caused by a homeostatic imbalance—extreme hunger, for example—can trigger emotions. However, motives and emotions differ sufficiently in their sources of activation, subjective experiences, and influence on behavior to merit separate consideration.