Jokes - pictures, video jokes, funny stories and anecdotes

An ill-mannered person can trivialize everything and interpret everything incorrectly.

  • - From Latin: Faber est suae quisque fortunae. According to the Roman historian Sallust, the author of this expression was the Roman consul and poet Appius Claudius, who compiled a collection of his maxims in verse...
  • - From the pop satirical miniature “Dispute” by the writer Mikhail Mikhailovich Zhvanetsky, which gained popularity performed by actors Viktor Ilchenko and Roman Kartsev...

    Dictionary winged words and expressions

  • - see. Everyone has their own bitter grievances...
  • - Disapproval of someone else negative attitude to any question, misinterpretation of what was said...

    Dictionary of folk phraseology

  • - A mockery of the originality of the use of the Russian language by the so-called foreigners, national minorities...

    Dictionary of folk phraseology

  • - an educated h-k understands everything quite deeply and correctly...

    Live speech. Dictionary of colloquial expressions

  • - Apparently he doesn’t understand Russian...

    IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

  • - adj., number of synonyms: 16 aza doesn’t know by sight ignorant doesn’t know aza doesn’t know neither be, nor me, nor crowing doesn’t know neither be, nor me, nor crowing doesn’t understand neither belmes doesn’t know neither...

    Synonym dictionary

  • - ...

    Synonym dictionary

  • - adj., number of synonyms: 18 doesn’t know the basics, doesn’t understand the basics, doesn’t understand, ignorant doesn’t know the basics, doesn’t understand the basics, doesn’t understand, doesn’t know, doesn’t know, doesn’t...

    Synonym dictionary

  • Synonym dictionary

  • - adj., number of synonyms: 16 doesn’t know the basics ignorant doesn’t know the basics doesn’t understand the basics doesn’t understand neither the bae, nor the me, nor the crowing knows neither the bae, nor the me, nor the crow doesn’t understand either the belmes...

    Synonym dictionary

  • - adverb, number of synonyms: 3 cuts chops cuts...

    Synonym dictionary

  • - adj., number of synonyms: 17 aza doesn’t know by sight ignorant doesn’t know aza doesn’t know aza doesn’t understand neither be, nor me, nor crowing knows neither be, nor me, nor crowing doesn’t understand neither belmes...

    Synonym dictionary

  • - receptive, grasps on the fly, grabs on the fly, intelligent, catches on...

    Synonym dictionary

  • - quick-witted, easily grasps, grasps on the fly, quickly grasps, quick-witted, intelligent, savvy, quick-witted, resourceful,...

    Synonym dictionary

“Everyone understands to the extent of his depravity” in books

Chapter 6 Every man is the master of his own destiny

From the book of Revelations of Guardian Angels. Love and life author Garifzyanov Renat Ildarovich

Chapter 6 Every person is the master of his own destiny. With the help of thoughts you can even change your own character. Most people, when committing unworthy acts, later justify themselves: “I am not guilty of anything, it’s my character.” It is believed that a person’s character is in

author Jaspers Karl Theodor

Knowledge understands itself in its history. The boundaries of orientation in the world have shown that a complete world existence would be an illusion. We are again faced with the question of the world as a whole in the following form: does it exist, instead of significant system existence, a system of sciences as a single

Knowledge understands itself in its history

From the book Philosophical Orientation in the World author Jaspers Karl Theodor

Knowledge understands itself in its history. That which is known as universally significant and convincing, which as such must be comprehended and assimilated in a concept, does not require delving into the historical process in which this knowledge was obtained. Although the meaning of such

CHAPTER IV About one special cause of the depravity of the people

From the book Selected Works on the Spirit of Laws author Montesquieu Charles Louis

CHAPTER IV About one special reason for the depravity of the people Great successes, especially achieved under great participation people, fill them with such pride that it becomes impossible to lead them. Jealous of officials and at odds with rulers, he soon becomes an enemy

Chapter X Of the Corruption of the Romans

From the author's book

Chapter X On the Corruption of the Romans I think that the school of Epicurus 18, which spread in Rome towards the end of the Republic, greatly contributed to corrupt the heart and spirit of the Romans. The Greeks became addicted to this school before them and became corrupt before them. Polybius tells us that in his time

Everyone is the architect of their own destiny

From book encyclopedic Dictionary catch words and expressions author Serov Vadim Vasilievich

Each one is the smith of his own destiny From Latin: Faber est suae quisque fortunae [Faber est suae quisque fortuna]. According to the Roman historian Sallust (86-35 BC), the author of this expression was the Roman consul and poet Appius Claudius, who compiled the collection his maxims in verse (307 BC)

50. “Every day at your lady’s window...”

From the book of Poems. 1915-1940 Prose. Letters Collected Works author Bart Solomon Venyaminovich

50. “Every day at his lady’s window...” Every day the Leper Knight looks at his lady’s window. Severe high temples, Where the lady is still silent. And this, as if, is not new, That a sick man is in love with a lady. For the lady the last word, the last prayer

An administrator who is overly concerned about his competitiveness

From the book How to get rid of the victim complex by Dyer Wayne

The administrator, overly concerned about his competitiveness, Alex was about forty-five years old. He came to see me for a consultation after suffering a mild heart attack and developing two ulcers. He was the ideal example of a business administrator who achieved impressive

Everyone controls their own destiny

From the book How to Manage Your Reputation and Scenarios in Your Life author Kichaev Alexander

Everyone controls their own destiny Not everyone is equally predisposed to engage in their own advancement and take responsibility along the way, effectively mastering their own life meters. Most often these are people obsessed with an Idea, ready

Everyone understands in their own way

From the author's book

Everyone understands in their own way On September 3, Vladimir Putin and Petro Poroshenko discussed steps to resolve the crisis in southeastern Ukraine, after which Putin published 7 steps to stabilize the situation. Nominally everyone wants a speedy end to the war in Ukraine and

5. “Everyone to the extent of his understanding...”: practical implementation

From the book “About the Current Moment” No. 3(75), 2008. author USSR Internal Predictor

5. “Everyone to the extent of understanding...”: practical implementation Although a worldview is a product of individual labor, each individual does not develop it out of nowhere, but in the life of society, in the culture of which the worldview of previous generations with all their

Measure for measure Measure for measure Valentin Kurbatov 02/13/2013

From the book Newspaper Tomorrow 950 (7 2013) author Zavtra Newspaper

18. All the kings of the nations, all lie with honor, each in his own tomb; 19. And you are cast out outside your tomb, like a despised branch, like the clothing of the slain, slain with the sword, who are thrown into stone ditches - you are like a trampled corpse,

From the book The Explanatory Bible. Volume 5 author Lopukhin Alexander

18. All the kings of the nations, all lie with honor, each in his own tomb; 19. And you are cast down outside your tomb, like a despised branch, like the clothes of the slain, slain with the sword, who are lowered into stone ditches - you are like a trampled corpse, All kings are hyperbole. In their tomb. Be

Letter 37 to a sister who mourns her brother's corruption

From the book Missionary Letters author Serbsky Nikolay Velimirovich

Letter 37 to a sister who grieves over her brother's depravity I understand your grief. As an older sister, you replaced his mother after his mother’s death. Life was hard for you while he was studying. Because of him, you were late in getting married and decided not to get married. You have impoverished your life so that

Remember your Divinity every moment - and then you will become the creators of your own happiness

From the book Kryon. Destiny can be changed! How to make any life scenario come true author Shmidt Tamara

Remember your Divinity every moment - and then you will become the creators of your own happiness. But you still have a lot of illusions of the dense material world on Earth. Materiality continues to be too real for you. She still pulls you in and forces you

The recent scandal that led to the closure of an exhibition of photographs by American artist Jock Sturges is instructive from a variety of perspectives.

To begin with, it reminded me of an old story. In the early 60s of the last century I entered the training courses art history department of the history department of Moscow State University. One of my classmates was a young graduate high school, who came, as we said then, from somewhere in the provinces. During one of the first classes, he, apparently visiting a classical museum for the first time, delightedly dragged me to a painting that depicted a naked woman: “Come on, okhalniks! Not only did they hang a naked woman, but they also wrote “Act” at the bottom!” Let me explain for non-specialists, officers, deputies and senators that the “act” in in this case- the accepted designation for nudity in museums has nothing to do with the sexual act that was generated by the hypersexuality of my young colleague. I deliberately do not mention his name (although I remember), because over time he became a completely professional art critic. Fortunately, he turned out to be trainable, which cannot be said about most of the participants in the discussions that followed the closing of the exhibition.

You have to have a truly sick imagination to see “child pornography” in chaste, poetic, humane and tender family photographs of people who are trying to live in harmony with nature. But the fact is that everyone understands what they see to the extent of their own depravity. In this sense, the Jock Sturges exhibition can serve as a kind of litmus test. I once wrote on a completely different occasion that a group of law enforcement officers who blackmail drivers in the morning by checking for “residual alcohol” in the blood cannot help but be corrupt, that is, criminal.

Likewise, those who expose an art exhibition should be immediately referred for psychiatric treatment. After all, by fighting against art, they are obviously fighting against their own phantasms that arise in their sick imagination. Of course, there are objective reasons for this, be it the puritanism of the American hinterland, the hypersexuality of conscripts and the strictness of military regulations, the celibacy of Catholic priests, whose role as breeding grounds for pedophilia in Lately became public, or the suppressed desires of other representatives of our political elite, mainly women, since our culture is more tolerant of male liberties. One can only guess what visions visit the “fighters for morality” at night, so that during the day, to the extent of their depravity, they see pornography in artistic photographs.

It is clear that the media could not help but seize on such a tasty morsel, thereby further confusing the already misled public. After all, you can’t force everyone to study to become art historians. But some arguments are worth dwelling on, if only for the purpose of eliminating illiteracy. In the debate that followed almost immediately after the events on the Russia 1 channel (I was invited there, but at that time I was working at a dacha on the calm Lake Seliger, which is why I am giving a written comment), the position of Alexander Prokhanov, who spoke about the difficulties, seemed to me the most reasonable relationship Russian culture with a naked body (one can say more broadly: the Christian tradition with physicality as a source of temptation and sin). When he moved on to specifics, saying, however, quite peacefully, that he would ask to remove photographs of his 15-16-year-old daughter or granddaughter, and extended this demand to the entire exhibition, he lost sight of the fact that the families depicted are precisely against photographs and there was no objection to their public display.

It is quite obvious that there was and is no explicit sexuality in the photographs themselves. It could manifest itself (and, apparently, manifested itself) only in the sick imagination of overly active spectators. References to genitals barely visible in certain frames are reminiscent of the demands for castration of the statue of David by Michelangelo, copies and reproductions of which are easy to find in many museums around the world, including in our country.

And in general, what to do with ancient phallic symbols and Paleolithic Venuses? Should we teach art history again? What if the older senators and representatives of the Public Chamber, unlike my young classmate, are unteachable? How is that famous English woman who said that obscenity (the English legal equivalent of the term “pornography”) is here to stay, “because under their clothes they are still naked”?

I was amazed by the formula with which the head of the Lumiere Brothers Center for Photography, Eduard Litvinsky, explained the closure of the exhibition. He stated that the exhibition “Jock Sturges. Without Embarrassment” was closed because it caused a public outcry.

I naively believed that public resonance for any cultural event is a good thing, not a bad thing! Visiting any exhibition is voluntary. If you don't like it, it's shocking, don't go. Photographs, unlike posters, are not hung on the street. This is how problems are solved in the civilized world cultural differences. Unfortunately, modern world can hardly be called civilized. Guided by principles similar to those proposed by our Public Chamber and the community of officers (although, of course, more stringent), ISIS fighters (“Islamic State”, banned in the Russian Federation - approx. "Tapes.ru") destroyed Palmyra, and we had to liberate it and now try to restore it, and in liberal France they began a real war against the burkini - Muslim swimsuits that hide women's hair and body. I wouldn’t want people in Russia (including those in power) to overcome their complexes in similar ways.

And here’s a long joke about how “everyone understands everything in moderation”
of his depravity...

Where can a boy study?

First grade teacher Miss Neelam (28 years old) had difficulty with
one of her students.

She asked, "What's wrong with you, boy?"

The boy replied, "I'm too smart for first grade.
My sister is in third, and I'm smarter than her! I think I should study too
third!"

It was too much for Miss Neelam. She took the boy to the director.

While he waited in the reception area, she explained the whole situation to the director. And the principal said that he would give the boy a test and if he could not answer any of the questions, he would have to return to first grade and behave well. She agreed.

The boy was brought into the office, the conditions were explained, and he agreed to take the test.

Director: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Director: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".

And this happened with every question to which, in the director’s opinion, a third-grader should know the answer.
Then the principal turned to Miss Neelam and said, “I think the boy can
go to third grade."
Then Miss Neelam replied to the director, “I have my own questions. Can I
ask them?" The boy and the director nodded.

She began, “What does a cow have in the amount of 4, but I only have 2?
Boy: after a pause, “Legs.”
Miss Neelam: “What do your trousers have that mine don’t?”
Boy: "Pockets"
Miss Neelam: It starts with K and ends with S, hairy, oblong, tasty with a whitish liquid inside?
Boy: Coconut
Miss Neelam: What's hard and pink when it goes in, and what's soft and sticky when it goes in
when does it come out?
The director was dumbfounded with his eyes open, and did not have time to get ahead of the answer,
Boy: Bubblegum
Miss Neelam: What does a man do - standing, a woman - sitting, and a dog - on three legs?
Now the director's eyes actually bulged wide, but before he
managed to say something
Boy: Gives his hand
Ms. Neelam: Now I will ask questions like “Who am I, okay?
Boy: yeah
Miss Neelam: You are putting your stake in me. You tie it to lift it. And I get wet before you:.
Boy: Tent
Miss Neelam: A finger enters me. You rub and tug at me when you
boring. The best man gets me first.
The director is very worried, tense and forced to take a large portion of vodka
Boy: Wedding ring
Miss Neelam: I am there different sizes. When I don't feel good, I drip. When you blow from me, I feel good
Boy: Nose
Miss Neelam: My shaft is tight. My end is thrusting. I shake when I move.
Boy: Arrow
Miss Neelam: What word starts with "F" and ends with "K" and means
a lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck (Pozharka)
Miss Neelam: What word starts with "F" and ends with "K" and if
this is not the case, do you have to work with your hands?
Boy: Fork
Miss Neelam: All men have it, some have it longer than others.
Dad doesn't use his at all. Does a man give this to his wife after marriage?
Boy: Last name
Miss Neelam: Which male organ has no bones, but has muscles and many veins.
Does it pulsate and is responsible for making love?
Boy: Heart
The director breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher: “Send him to
University of Cambridge! I answered the last 10 questions incorrectly!!"

Story one.
The husband, after celebrating something in a restaurant with his friends, put on someone else's jacket, belonging to one of his friends. It’s clear why - he was drunk.
In the morning I woke up and saw someone else’s men’s jacket hanging on my butt. The thought in my head: “Wow! Not only does she (the wife) bring men home, but they also leave their jackets at home. By the way, the wife doesn’t bring anyone.

Chasing this thought in his head and at the same time making plans for revenge on both of them, he decided to examine the jacket of his, as he was sure, enemy. In order for revenge to be the most destructive, you need to know more about the enemy. At that moment he remembered that Napoleon defeated his own people thanks to good information about their plans and actions, and Waterloo lost because he did not have enough information.

He found a fairly large sum of money in his jacket.
“He’s also rich!” pulsed in his head.
Preserving the remnants of self-control, he continued to examine the “enemy” jacket, so frivolously left by the enemy on his (husband’s) territory. The “deceived” husband found the passport. “Yeah! Now I’ll find out everything!” a victorious grin appeared on his face. .The passport was one of the friends .with whom he had been drinking the day before.

A tested mixture of feelings: relief, disappointment, shame that he stole someone else’s jacket and a sense of responsibility that he needed to call the owner of the jacket about his (the jacket’s) whereabouts, sent him to the kitchen and forced him to drink something strong to restore peace of mind.

The most interesting thing is that the thought of calling his wife and asking her did not appear to him during all the time of his research and torment.

The second story.
My husband returned from fishing. My wife washed everything in the washing machine and hung it up to dry. In the morning, my husband saw someone else's men's underpants on the drying line. And he threw a scandal at his wife, although he himself brought them home from fishing in a pile of dirty laundry...

Everyone judges according to the extent of their depravity. And by a person’s reaction to some event, you can understand what he would do himself. Ask a person for advice, and from his advice you will understand him.

You can also understand yourself. The way you see others and react to their actions says more about yourself than the other person. For different people the same people look different. Someone may see people as scoundrels and fools, while others will see the same people as smart and noble. If a person does not have enough intelligence, then he will not understand the actions of the sage; rather, he will criticize them. Often, subordinates consider the boss to be stupid, but at the same time, the “smart guys” themselves are not able to create a business.

In the same way, if you think that your loved one is not calling you because he is probably cheating on you with another woman at that moment. This means that this is exactly what you would do yourself.

This also applies to other “chases” in the head. If you tell someone, “You make me nervous! How can you do this, not call me and not keep me informed of the matter!” This means that you are making yourself nervous. You look at the situation and actions of another person through your corrupted properties. You see your own corrupted qualities, not the corrupted person.

Someone, not seeing something in its usual place, will say (think): “It was stolen!” And someone: “It’s probably somewhere else”

It’s the same in relationships. By drawing conclusions only based on your experience and evaluating everything through your own properties, you can make a mistake and undeservedly offend a person or destroy a relationship in vain.

So, don't rush to conclusions. And evaluate your reactions as a manifestation of your own properties.