The “holy of holies” of any maternity hospital and the place where our babies are usually born is the maternity room. Those who are about to give birth undoubtedly want to know what it is, how it works and what happens in the delivery room?
Maternity room may be general or individual, but, one way or another, main subject its interior is a maternity “table”, or, to be precise, Rakhmanov’s bed. By appearance This is a regular gynecological chair, only larger in size. If necessary, the table can easily be transformed into a bed, and you can stretch (not stretch!) your legs. Another one distinctive feature This simple device consists of special handles, popularly called “reins.”
When is it time to move to the delivery room?
But let's go back to the prenatal ward for a moment and see what's going on there. After the cervix dilates 10 cm, the woman in labor is transferred to the delivery room, or delivery room. Subjectively, full dilation can be determined by the attempts that have begun. Pushing feels like an irresistible desire to empty the bowels; many women say: “I want to go to the toilet in a big way.” Sometimes there is no such obvious desire, but you suddenly notice that during a contraction you naturally hold your breath, and you strain your abdominal muscles. This happens reflexively, since the baby’s head has dropped very low and puts pressure on the nerve endings.
And here - ATTENTION!!! - you must definitely call a doctor and try your best to restrain your efforts. This needs to be done for one simple reason: sometimes pushing begins before the cervix is fully dilated. Therefore, in order to keep the cervix intact, during contractions we breathe “like a dog,” that is, we can often stick out our tongue superficially. If this does not help, add the “on all fours” pose. In this case, the head should be lower than the place where we usually sit. This is achieved very simply - we stand on our knees and lower our head to the level of our palms. The baby rolls back to the bottom of the uterus, and the pressure on the cervix decreases.
"Surely you have painted yourself a picturesque picture: a woman with big belly stands on all fours with his butt pointing up and breathes quickly, sticking out his tongue... Jokes aside! And there is no place for embarrassment here either. The most crucial moment is coming - the real work will begin soon.
After the doctor examines you and confirms that “everything is ready” - that is, the cervix is fully dilated, you can begin to push. But you need to do this wisely.
- Firstly, do not rush to climb onto the delivery table - perform 2-3 contractions while standing. This will allow the baby's head to find a comfortable position for easier exit.
- Secondly, if you did everything correctly during contractions, by the time you start pushing you should have a “second wind”: contractions become rare, after 7-10, or even 15-20 minutes; the mood improves - “there’s just a little left!”, it’s unclear where new strength comes from. This happens because the baby’s head is pushed through the open cervix into the birth canal, and the uterus takes time to contract.
As soon as the uterus copes with this task, contractions will resume. And attempts will join them. Your time has come!
Pushing during labor is the most important job
Unlike contractions, a woman can influence both the strength and length of the push. Typically, the pushing period lasts from 25 minutes to 2 hours, with an average of 35-40 minutes. So, when you find yourself on the delivery table, don't forget about pens- the midwife will show you where they are. You need to grab them with your hands.
As soon as the contraction begins, we sequentially perform the following actions:
- You need to breathe" full breasts", as much air as possible, and hold your breath.
- Raise your head and press your chin to your chest - this is necessary for the push to be effective, that is, the abdominal muscles are tensed, and not the neck and face.
- We imagine that the air we inhaled is directed downwards and pushes the baby out. Meanwhile, SMOOTHLY, WITHOUT JERKING, we strain the abdominal muscles and increase the strength of this tension. Your whole body seems to envelop your tummy, and all the muscles work to help the baby get out into the world. And your arms (you hold onto the handles with them) and legs (they are secured in holders) work to create a counterforce. Difficult? I'll try to make it simpler: imagine that you are sailing on a boat, and the handles you are holding are oars.
- When you feel that you no longer have the strength to hold your breath, exhale VERY SMOOTHLY and relax your abdominal muscles. And everything is new.
During the fight you need to do all these steps 2-3 times. Moreover, the last attempt should be the strongest. With each push, the baby will move closer to the exit, but at first, he will “roll back” back. Therefore, all our actions are smooth, but strong. After all, the baby is literally squeezed in the tight birth canal!
"It is very difficult to describe how to push in words. It is better to see once than to hear a hundred times. In our case, it is better to try once than to read a hundred times. Therefore, do not be lazy, attend a class at school on preparing for childbirth. Such trainings exist in almost all schools. Believe me, you will not regret it, and the skills acquired will benefit both you and your baby.
And then the long-awaited moment comes: the baby’s head appears. ALL ATTENTION TO THE MIDWIFE!!! She is your commander for the rest of the birth. And she will give you the following command: “Don’t push!” This is a signal to hold back the effort. Sometimes it’s enough to just relax, but sometimes the urge to push is so strong that you have to remember to breathe “like a dog.” The baby's head should be born outside the force - this will protect the perineum from ruptures.
At this time, the baby makes a “turn with a deflection” inside you, and first the head appears, then one shoulder, another... Last efforts, and everything else literally slides out.
“Here he is, so long-awaited, wet, wrinkled, and so beautiful, the most beloved baby in the world!
The baby is placed on the mother's warm belly. The midwife (and sometimes, if dad is involved in childbirth, this honorable mission is entrusted to him), after the pulsation stops, cuts the umbilical cord.
Congratulations! You did it!
Third stage of labor, birth of placenta
But that's not all - the shortest and easiest period of labor, the third, lies ahead. Some time after the birth of your son or daughter (usually 20-30 minutes), the uterus will contract so much that the placenta can separate from it - after all, it is no longer needed. You will be asked to push - and the uterus will be completely free. You will then be examined by a doctor.
Meanwhile, the baby is being examined by a pediatrician; primary processing, and then, if all is well, the baby is put to the breast. Enjoy these minutes of getting to know your baby. Praise the baby, because he worked too! Precious drops of colostrum will serve as a reward for your baby’s hard work and provide reliable protection- This is the first immunity.
“It is very desirable that after giving birth, mother and baby do not separate. After all, the baby finds himself in a new, huge and unfamiliar world for the first time! Only a mother can provide her loved one with a sense of security, peace and security. And only a mother can make this first meeting joyful!
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Reception department
This is a place of parting with loved ones. Husband, mother, friends - all of them are not allowed to go further. The only opportunity to enter the maternity hospital with a pregnant woman is to sign a contract for partner childbirth. Otherwise, the expectant mother alone goes into the room where the midwife is on duty. She receives the woman in labor, checks for documents, inquires about her well-being, and then calls the gynecologist on duty. The doctor examines the woman in labor, including ultrasonography(ultrasound), and decides which department to send the woman to.
If the contractions turn out to be false, the pregnant woman (to choose) may be offered hospitalization or return home. With an uncomplicated pregnancy and satisfactory health, a woman may well return home and wait for the onset of labor at home, close to her family.
If the contractions turned out to be not training, but real, and in addition to this, the doctor recorded the discharge of amniotic fluid, then the pregnant woman is immediately sent to the maternity ward. First, the midwife measures the height and weight of the expectant mother, abdominal circumference and uterine height, and studies the results of important tests that must be included in the exchange card.
Next, the midwife conducts a general examination of the pregnant woman: skin must be clean and nails trimmed short. It is better to leave chains, bracelets, watches, rings, including wedding rings, at home - you will still be asked to remove all jewelry. Next procedure: enema and shaving of the pubic area. You can shave at home in advance, but experimenting with an enema is not recommended. Entrust this work to experienced specialists.
After all the above procedures, the woman in labor takes a shower, puts on clean clothes - in most maternity hospitals it is prohibited to bring clothes with you, the medical staff issues their own kit - and enters the physiological department.
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If pregnancy complications are discovered during the examination, the woman is admitted to the pathology department of the maternity hospital (pictured). Pregnant women are also kept here. In this department, expectant mothers are treated for fetaplacental insufficiency, exacerbation of pyelonephritis, etc. Women in labor who are scheduled for a planned caesarean section medical indications, are also in the pathology department.
To stimulate labor and prepare the cervix for the birth process, doctors often use special gels based on prostaglandins. These substances significantly increase the contractile activity of the uterus.
Observation department
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An expectant mother suffering from infectious diseases. Pregnant women also come here high temperature, ARVI, acute respiratory infections, influenza, carriers of hepatitis C and B virus, HIV, patients with sexually transmitted diseases.
By the way, the lack of an exchange card can also lead to disastrous consequences: if doctors do not receive any guarantees that the woman in labor is not sick with sexually transmitted and infectious diseases, they will have to send her to the observation department. Therefore, from the moment the exchange card is issued by the observing gynecologist, the expectant mother should always carry this document with her. The same thing awaits a woman whose exchange card lacks important tests.
The observation department has its own prenatal and delivery units, as well as postpartum boxes.
Observation room
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Here a second, more thorough examination of the woman in labor takes place, the degree of preparation is assessed birth canal to childbirth. If necessary, doctors perform simple obstetric procedures without surgical intervention. The examination room contains prenatal wards and, in fact, a delivery room.
Prenatal room
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This room is designed to accommodate several women in labor at the same time. As a rule, doctors are ready to see from 2 to 6 women here. Partner births take place in a separate prenatal unit, so no one will interfere with a family that wants to be together at such an important and crucial moment as the birth of a common baby.
The expectant mother can spend several hours in this room, which is why most modern maternity hospitals provide such amenities as a kettle, TV, fitball, bed that turns into a maternity chair, etc.
Ancestral hall
The doctor is not always present at the birth, as he may be busy with several expectant mothers at the same time. But even from a distance, he controls the process of childbirth. If complications arise during childbirth, he will be immediately notified and will come to the rescue. A normal birth is usually managed by a midwife. She will tell you to push. If the labor pain is unbearable for the mother, the midwife will offer pain relief. Between contractions, she does cardiotocography, thanks to which she monitors the baby’s heartbeat and monitors the intensity of the labor process.
After the newborn is born, it is laid on the mother’s stomach, the umbilical cord is cut and applied to the breast. Next, the baby falls into the hands of a neonatologist, who examines the child and assesses his state of health.
The woman in labor undergoes the last stage of labor - the expulsion of the placenta, after which she is examined again by the doctor. If ruptures occurred during childbirth or doctors had to make incisions, now they are sutured and the sutures are processed.
After all the procedures, the young mother is transferred to the postpartum ward, where she can enjoy communication with her baby. By this time he had already been examined, washed and swaddled.
Majority modern women they begin to prepare for childbirth in advance and, in particular, choose a maternity hospital in advance. Obviously, this gives them peace of mind and confidence that the birth will go well (See “”).
Despite the fact that maternity hospitals may differ from each other, the principles of their arrangement are the same:
- reception department;
- maternity ward;
- postpartum ward;
- children's department;
- pathology department.
Some maternity hospitals additionally have an observational department, where women with infectious and inflammatory diseases, as well as unexamined (without exchange cards containing information about the health status of the pregnant woman and child).
How does the reception department work?
Any maternity hospital begins with the admissions department. Here the woman must submit the documents prepared in advance:
- passport;
- exchange card;
- medical insurance policy;
- birth certificate (allowing a woman to choose a maternity hospital herself).
In the reception department expectant mother examine:
- measure pressure;
- listen to the fetal heartbeat;
- determine how soon labor will begin.
If the contractions are strong and repeat at short intervals, they are sent to the delivery room. If contractions are just beginning, then go to the prenatal ward. When admitted to the maternity hospital, they also undergo sanitary treatment, which includes an enema (See “”) and shaving of the suprapubic area (this can be done at home yourself).
How is the maternity ward organized?
The maternity ward consists of:
- prenatal ward;
- maternity room.
Prenatal ward
In the prenatal ward there can be from two to six women in labor at the same time, and in the delivery room there are usually two or three birthing chairs.
In the prenatal ward, the woman remains during contractions until the cervix dilates to the desired width, so she is periodically examined by a doctor.
Here they monitor blood pressure, monitor the fetal heartbeat and the condition of the woman herself - perhaps someone will need stimulation labor activity, anesthesia or other medical care.
Maternity room
When the cervix is fully dilated, the woman in labor is transferred to the delivery room, where, after pushing, the baby is born. The newborn is placed on the mother's stomach, where he lies until the umbilical cord pulsates. Then it is cut off and the child is examined by a pediatrician, assessing his condition on the Apgar scale. After the birth of the child, the placenta is delivered, after which the condition of the woman’s birth canal is examined and, if necessary, postpartum tears are sutured.
Modern maternity hospitals have a system of boxes - during labor and childbirth, the woman is in a separate box.
Each maternity hospital has an anesthesiology and intensive care department and wards intensive care, where women in serious condition (preeclampsia, high blood pressure etc.) and after caesarean section.
How is the postpartum ward organized?
Two hours after giving birth, the woman is transferred to the postpartum ward, and the child to the children's department. Depending on the chosen maternity hospital, it is possible for both the mother and the child to stay together or separately after childbirth (when the child is brought in only for feeding time).
The postpartum wards of modern maternity hospitals provide for the mother and child to stay together. This is convenient because the young mother will be helped to establish breast-feeding and child care (See "").
Usually in such wards there are 3-4 mothers with children. When giving birth under a contract, the mother can be in a separate room alone with the child. Here, every day, doctors examine the mother and child, prescribe tests and ultrasounds, and, if all is well, discharge them home on the third or fourth day.
Why do you need a children's department?
Despite the fact that in Lately It is practiced for the mother and child to stay together; children's departments are necessary in cases where the birth was difficult and the mother cannot independently care for the child. For this reason, children born by Caesarean section are also kept there. Many maternity hospitals also have a pediatric intensive care unit, where premature babies, children with pathologies or after difficult births are cared for.
Why do we need a pathology department?
Almost every maternity hospital has a pathology department where pregnant women are admitted to monitor their condition and provide timely assistance:
- with the threat of premature birth;
- fetoplacental insufficiency;
- inflammatory kidney diseases;
- severe gestosis;
- other complications.
Women are also here in preparation for a planned caesarean section.
A maternity hospital is a medical institution where a pregnant woman can receive qualified medical care from the moment of conception to childbirth, including the process of childbirth itself and early postpartum period. For a newborn baby, the maternity hospital is the first medical institution where he will be helped not only to be born, but also to adapt to life in the environment.
The rules in the maternity hospital are very different from the rules of other medical institutions, because infection is especially dangerous for the baby’s sterile body. Therefore, every maternity hospital has a strict regime that cannot be violated.
Maternity room
The delivery room is the main place in the maternity hospital where the baby is born. From the moment regular labor is established, the woman in labor is transferred to the delivery room, where she stays with medical staff, and, if desired, with a partner (husband, mother, sister).
Modern delivery rooms are decorated in warm colors and equipped with all the necessary equipment. The most important attribute of each maternity room is the Rachmaninov chair-bed, on which the birth of a child often takes place. The well-equipped delivery room also has a bed, gymnastic wall, fitball, and a special chair for supporters vertical birth, heated changing table and neonatal resuscitation kit in the delivery room.
How do women give birth in a maternity hospital?
Currently, active behavior of women in the first stage of labor is practiced. A woman in labor can move freely around the delivery room, perform exercises on a gymnastic wall and an inflatable ball, which helps reduce pain, rapid opening of the cervix and lowering of the fetal head. A woman can choose where and how she wants to give birth. Currently, childbirth is practiced while standing, sitting on a special chair, and childbirth in the knee-elbow position.
Care for a child in a maternity hospital begins from the moment he is born. The condition of the newborn is assessed using the Apgar scale at 1 and 5 minutes after birth, the maximum score is 10 points. It consists of 5 criteria, each of which is scored from 0 to 2 points: heart rate, skin color, breathing, muscle tone and reflex excitability.
The primary toileting of a newborn in the delivery room begins as soon as the head has erupted. A neonatologist removes mucus from oral cavity baby using suction, then the baby is placed on the mother’s stomach and applied to the breast if the baby does not need additional medical care. Early attachment of a newborn baby to the breast is very important, as it helps to establish close contact between mother and baby, colonizes the skin and intestines with protective microflora, and also stimulates the production of oxytocin in the woman in labor, which helps the uterus contract.
Then the child is taken to the changing table, where the birth lubricant is wiped off his skin, conjunctivitis is prevented, he is weighed, measured, dressed and a bracelet is tied on the arm, where the birth history number, mother's last name, middle name, day and time of birth are indicated.
Many pregnant women are interested in how to dress a baby in the maternity hospital? There is one peculiarity: a newborn’s thermoregulation center is not yet mature and under the influence of the room temperature the child can become hypothermic, so the baby needs to be dressed a little warmer than the mother dresses, especially in the first days.
Vaccinations for children in the maternity hospital are given by the nursery nurse after examination by a neonatologist, the absence of contraindications and the mother signing special documents.
Maternity hospital care
After childbirth, the doctor on duty in the maternity hospital examines the woman in labor, checks the condition of the sutures, the size of the uterus, and the condition of the mammary glands. Examinations in the maternity hospital are carried out in special examination rooms under sterile conditions. 
after a woman performs hygiene procedures.
Recently, a lot of information has appeared about childbirth outside medical institution(at home, in the pool), and there are couples who decide to take such risky actions. It must be remembered that the process of childbirth cannot be predicted, and there is always a risk of a situation when the life of a woman and child depends on timely, qualified medical care, so you should not endanger yourself and your child.
8.10. Planning meeting. Having been late for my usual 5 minutes, I quietly make my way to my place. Catching the reproachful glance of the head doctor, I smile sweetly at her. But, turning my gaze to the doctors on duty, the smile leaves my happy face in anticipation of the upcoming vacation. Tousled hair a la “I fell out of the hayloft” nervous tic the responsible duty officer, the second one has different slippers on his feet, they say meaningfully that the duty was terrible. Having made my way to my room, I quietly ask my colleague sitting next to me, “What’s in the delivery room?” To which I receive a short but succinct answer, “Fuck!!!” The mood deteriorates, but not completely. It's still the penultimate day! Last duty! We'll give birth to everyone! Let's operate! Let's save! And then: “Ole! Ole, ole, ole!!!” No, no, Siberian obstetricians don’t earn a ticket for a World Cup game, it’s just a very joyful cry.
8.30. I go up to the delivery room as if I were on a scaffold (because I know everything after the planning meeting). 7 women in labor. SEVEN! For a modest second-level maternity hospital, that’s quite a lot, considering that I’m the only one in the delivery room. The second doctor will leave the packed postpartum ward no earlier than lunch. And the third one is on vacation. Summer is generally a busy time, both literally and figuratively! Everyone wants to go on vacation in the summer! Well, at least for a little bit, at least for two weeks, three is already happiness, and four is practically a jackpot.
I'm digressing though. I start rushing between delivery rooms. Fortunately, experienced midwives are on duty today. Bison! Sharks of their own business! Every maternity hospital doctor knows that an experienced midwife is like a second hand. You just opened your mouth to say the appointments, and she already did. Although all our maternity midwives are masters of their craft. Deputies to the State Duma would be elected, like we elect midwives to the maternity ward.
9.00. A third-born woman is giving birth (obstetricians, like probably everyone, have their own slang: primiparous - “first-born”, multiparous - “repeat”, partner birth - “partners”, a woman with a scar on the uterus after a CS - “scar”. Village girl, grenadier, height 180, weight 110 kg. The child is large by 4500-5000. I gave birth to the same ones, but it’s still exciting, anything can happen. It’s all about pushing. She swears during a fight. So much so that her ears curl up into a tube: “Anya! You can’t do that.” !" In response: "Doctor, don't swear! It's easier for me! I'm a milkmaid, I didn't graduate from the academy! "To hell with you, swear! Just give birth. She gives birth easily, with the third attempt a strong man emerges into the hands of the midwife, equally screaming and red-cheeked like a mother! We weighed her - 4800, height 58 cm, the neonatologist generously puts 9-9b according to APGAR. The placenta was delivered. Pabal was administered. Everything is fine! There is no hypotension. She exhaled. The start seems good. I went to write a story.
10.00. A 16-year-old firstborn is on the way (no surprise anymore). Has been giving birth since night. It's obvious that it hurts. Cries quietly, whines like little puppy, in a fist-to-mouth fight, apparently so as not to scream. Eh, honey!! I feel sorry for you! An epidural would numb the pain, but the diagnosis was “Dermatitis”, the whole back was covered in a small pustular rash, Anrem refused. What can you do, you can’t do this, you can’t. Katyusha, shout! Maybe it will be easier! We often shout! He looks with eyes full of tears, “My mother said that if I scream, the doctors will curse.” What a mother, she probably used to scare me when I was a child, but now she scares me with obstetricians! Shout, honey, shout, I won't swear. Attempts. The child moves slowly. The pelvis is narrow. You can't rush. After another attempt, exhausted, “That’s it! I won't push! I can not!" “Hello! Who will it be? Let him come out on his own!! Or you’ll get it out somehow!” “Uh, honey, it won’t work like that. Let's do it one more time! One, two, three: come on, Katyusha, come on, That's it. Also a boy. No asphyxia. Everything is fine.
10.30 – 14.00. Childbirth, childbirth, childbirth again, how different they are: childbirth with weakness of labor (praise oxytocin), with incoordination (epidural anesthesia is our everything), with hypotonic bleeding (we managed with uterotonics), deep vaginal rupture (thank you, brother anesthesiologists, for anesthesia) . Ugh, I’m a little tired. One thing warms the soul, soon on vacation! I've already taken out my suitcase and bought a new swimsuit: Ole, ole! Stop. Early.
14.40. Let's go for surgery. An ambulance brought a pregnant woman with two scars from previous CSs, with contractions starting at 2.00 am! Holy shit, why were you sitting at home, honey?! Waiting for the uterus to rupture?! Blame “Husband from work at night!” Oh, women, women. Recklessness? Stupidity? Ignorance? During the operation, the scar is sharply thinned and spreads under the scalpel. The amniotic sac is visible. Fuck! A little more and...Thank God! They got the child. They sutured the uterus. They tied the tubes (okay, at least I showed prudence here). She exhaled again.
16.00. The watch began. Should we go have lunch? But no. Adopted. A woman was brought in from a traffic accident. Covered in blood. Term 27 weeks. Began. Duty, you're the last one. Damn, I'm running.
The face and surname are familiar. “Have you been staying with us?” “Yes, a month ago they brought me in with bleeding. I have placenta previa! You’ve already transferred me to the region!” “It wasn’t enough yet.” Face, clothes covered in blood. Somewhat slowed down. There is already an examination by a neurosurgeon (multidisciplinary hospital). Diagnosis: FGM. After consultation with an obstetrician, hospitalization in neurosurgery. “Any complaints?” "My head hurts!" “What about your stomach? Bloody issues from the genital tract?” "No! My stomach doesn't hurt. The airbags deployed." "Now fine! Where is there so much blood?” “I broke my lip” “Okay, let’s see. The uterus is in normal tone, painless on palpation. Cito ultrasound. Okay, the ultrasound doctor was late at work. There is no placental abruption. The fetal heartbeat is normal, movement is active. I’m already calmly examining her vaginally. The neck is formed, the pharynx is closed. Leucorrhoea discharge. I write in conclusion: At the time of the examination, there was no evidence of acute obstetric pathology. I'm sending him to neurotrauma. The soul is still restless. Still, placenta previa (retrospectively, the next day, a second examination by the obstetrician and ultrasound, everything was normal). Ugh.
17.00 Reception again. 4 births with harbingers. Full term. I'm looking around. Contractions are rare, after 20 minutes. During a vaginal examination, the cervix is almost smoothed, the edges are soft, pliable, the opening is 3 cm. Check in to the delivery room. In response, “Doctor, can I come later?!” “You mean later?” “Well, in about three hours, I need to hill the potatoes. Only 5 acres left” “Uh, how much is it?” "Ten". It's 30 degrees outside, 4 births, mature cervix. “What potatoes! You are crazy?" "Doctor! I'll have time, I live nearby. I won’t have time after giving birth! My husband is on a business trip and there are no assistants.” She sped off. I'm restless again! She will give birth there among her potatoes! Why did you let go? She arrived exactly three hours later. The opening is complete! From the waiting room on the gurney to the delivery room! They gave birth 5 minutes later. “Did you manage to hill the potatoes?” Laughs “I did everything, I still had time to wash myself!” Truly, there are women in Russian villages.
18.00. Rounds in the postpartum ward. Okay, I'm on duty with the boss. She fights off the pathology department plus intensive care patients. Did I eat at all today?
20.00. A telephone call to the maternity hospital: “I would like a doctor on duty!” The tone is icy. Hello! The doctor on duty is such and such, with whom do I have the honor?” “I am Suzanne’s mother” (Suzanna, a 28-year-old firstborn, was admitted in the afternoon with precursors and an immature cervix. In the delivery room under observation. Only an hour ago regular contractions began). “I’m listening to you attentively” “Is anyone going to take care of my daughter at all?” To myself: “They’ve arrived.” “Do you think no one is working on it?” "Of course not! She’s been suffering for 24 hours already!” Oh, well, we hear this song often. I make my voice extremely friendly. “You see, it’s like that, I did it without active labor...” In response, “Don’t fool me. I gave birth 28 years ago, and I remember very well what contractions are like! Why isn't she giving birth? Did you secure everything for her there?” Fathers, what is there to “fix”? We haven’t given her a single injection yet (to ourselves). Out loud: “Yes, everything is going fine. Don't worry! We don't hurt your girl! We’ll do everything right” “Keep in mind, I have my own person in the health district, if anything happens, I’ll help you all there.” Yes, we already realized that everyone would be shot or on the rack. Where is my valerian?
21.00. Partner births. Again. My husband is right out of the gate. “We are for natural childbirth!” (that’s exactly what he said) “ Amniotic sac We don't need to open it. I will cross the umbilical cord myself. We’ll take the placenta with us” “Oh, Lord, yes please” Well, at least without shamanic drums and splashing holy water in the corners (there were some).
Multiparous. Active phase of labor, 6 cm. They won’t give birth for a long time. Eh, I wonder if I will still have time to buy a pareo to match the swimsuit? It's early, Tanya, it's early.
By the way, I'll go take a look at Suzanne. Again with the phone. Apparently he and his mother are texting. If I had my way, I would take away all the phones at the entrance to the emergency room. So they say and so, a security object, with a phone, lowly. I looked, thank God, the process is progressing - 5 cm, but the bubble is flat. An amniotomy is needed so as not to delay. She spent a long time explaining why. She said that she would sign the consent for the amniotomy after calling her mother. Oh my! 28 years old and still calling my mother. Hold on, Tanya, hold on. Spent half the night with the boss. This way you can get at least a little sleep.
23.00. The partners gave birth. Thank God, everything was as we wanted, everything was natural! True, dad grabbed the umbilical cord and controlled the cessation of pulsation himself. The neonatologist couldn’t stand it, she screamed and let her go. “Don't forget to give us the placenta! Otherwise, we know you, use all sorts of masks there!” Yeah, right now I’ll go to the office, lie down on the sofa and SLAP your placenta on my face. (Ugh!) I took out the prepared package from the Magnet. I wanted to be sarcastic, saying it was somehow disrespectful to the tree of life. Shut up, Tanya, shut up.
Suzanne requested an epidural. What if mom is against it? “I will sign the consent! I'm of age." Well, okay, it’s clear that she’s tired and it hurts.
23.45. Call to landline. Shouting “Ale, this is Suzanne’s mom” “What happened?” “Why did you poke her in the back? What if her legs give out?”
Yes, you fucking babe! I'm already losing patience. “Your daughter is 28 years old! She asked herself and signed the informed consent! In addition, there were testimonies.” The scream turns into a squeal: “I know your testimony! And don’t even think about performing a Caesarean. All you have to do is kill everyone. Keep in mind, I have my own man in…” Yes, yes, I remember, they will quarter you and burn you at the stake. Ole, ole, ole!!! Vacation, come.
00.00. I didn’t have time to make an entry in the history, a call from pathology. Began! We slept during the day and woke up at night. I'm going to the second floor. Silence, darkness, only light in the observation room. What do you have, Galina Stepanovna? Galina Stepanovna is a midwife, big and beautiful like the Titanic. “Look, she says she’s feeling a little sore.”
Second birth, full term, already lying on the chair, smiling. “Yes, Galina Stepanovna raised you in vain!” (hmm, who else would lie down) It hurts a little.” But Galina Stepanovna is still from the old guard of midwives, she will not call a doctor for every fart. I look, Fathers, 9 cm, the head is low, the fetus is well and intact. I say, get up slowly, quickly pack your things and go to the maternity room.” “Doctor, it’s still early, give me about two hours, I need to finish the report” “What REPORT?” “Doctor, I’m the chief accountant of the company! The quarterly report is on fire. I don’t have much left!” “Let’s march to the maternity room, I already almost gave birth in a potato.” Okay, okay, let's run! Doctor, is it possible to have a laptop in the postpartum ward?”
01.00. The chief accountant gave birth a long time ago. My legs are buzzing. There is sand in the eyes. Midwives: “Let’s go have some coffee!” “Come on. Girls, do you have any lard?” They laugh, they know that I love lard. “There is, they say, lard, mustard, and black bread.” Mmm. Damn the diet!
2.00. Suzanne gave birth. Surprisingly, I pushed well, without hysterics. Thank you, Lord! Eyes stick together.
4.30. Phone call. Damn, it’s not like my other half. The boss is on the line." Full term, rupture of water, pelvic, large fetus, first birth. The operating room is ready." I'm coming! Damn, why didn't I become a physical therapist?
7.00 I still managed to sleep. 2 hours. Ole! Ole, ole! Now we just have to hold out for a day! (With)
8.10. Planning meeting. Judging by the smiles of those present, the boss and I looked no better than the previous shift. Well, okay, but without excesses.
15.00. The day was practically calm. A couple of births and an operation. I'm going out onto the porch! I breathe deeply. There is only one thought in my head: SLEEP! Damn, what sleep? Tomorrow the plane is at 11.00. The sea is waiting! The suitcase is not packed! Ole! Ole, ole, ole!
