There are 4 main types psychological defenses person, from which more specific forms of manifestation of these defenses can be derived.
However, there are four types: according to the content of what underlies the protection.
What does "psychological protection" mean?
This is behavior in which a person does not solve his problems in a conscious way, but avoids solving them. Or - REACTIVE BEHAVIOR, in which a person does not manage himself, but is guided by his reactions.
So, types.
Excitement - or "translation...
Trampling in the mud
Since the Tramplers are less self-confident than others, it is best to communicate with them calmly and good-naturedly.
By using calm questions, refrain from raising your voice or making arrogant remarks: this makes people defensive and more brash.
This method is like a small exam, the purpose of which is to find out what...
Man has created powerful technologies and learned to transform the world. But has he learned to transform himself? Has he approached his perfection? Do we see a person who loves other people, who is fair, truthful, who realizes himself as an individual?
The answer is obvious. Our lives often lack dignity, honor, true friendship, happiness and contentment. Much more often we are surrounded by spiritual chaos and confusion, close to madness, and not to medieval hysteria, but rather to...
Every second newcomer to large companies quits within the first year and a half of work. Often the problem lies in the fact that the “new recruit” was unable to establish relationships with new colleagues.
Surprisingly, many managers evaluate how successfully an employee passed probation, not by how he copes with work responsibilities, but by how quickly and painlessly he manages to fit into the team.
Therefore, it makes sense to work not only on your...
Do you suspect
Excessive suspicion, with your
hand, is able to destroy the greatest love. If at first you pester your partner with questions like “Where have you been?” and “Who were you with?”, then in the near future you will begin to search his pockets, looking for confirmation of your fears.
Sooner or later, your loved one’s patience will run out and he will not tolerate your distrust and encroachment on his personal space. Learn to respect your loved one and build relationships on trust, and...
The behavior of a girl, girl and woman depends on the influence of four strongest factors: biological, psychological, cultural and, so to speak, the female self. The basis of the formation and manifestation characteristic features gender are based on biological characteristics, such as temperament, type nervous activity etc. In most men, choleric temperamental traits predominate, and in women, sanguine ones predominate.
You and I know that right hemisphere the brain "specializes" in figurative-motor...
Whether we like it or not, life forces us to make decisions every day and it depends on them whether we will be successful and happy or not.
Two approaches to decision making - reactive and proactive - determine what the results of our actions will be.
What group are you in? This is important to find out!
Reactive approach to solutions:
* You are convinced that circumstances force you to act one way or another and little depends on you.
* You often think: I would have acted differently, but...
* IN difficult situation you speak...
A half-starved rat was placed in an empty chamber with only a lever and a food bowl. Initially, the rat exhibited a variety of operants: walking, sniffing, scratching, preening itself, and urinating. Such reactions were not caused by any recognizable stimulus: they were spontaneous.
Eventually, during its familiarization activities, the rat found itself in the corner of the chamber farthest from the lever and immediately received a blow electric shock. Finding herself in close proximity to the lever, she received...
Every second of our lives we are influenced by a lot of circumstances, from the weather to the actions of other people. Oddly enough, many people miss the fact that they also have the ability to influence these circumstances and their lives in general. Proactivity is highlighted by psychologists and business trainers as one of basic characteristics successful person. Why is it so important and what does it represent?
The perception of one's position and the ability to influence one's own destiny depends on a person's awareness of his ability to make choices. It is this ability that distinguishes proactive thinking from reactive thinking and proactive behavior from reactive behavior. A proactive person is the architect of his own happiness, a reactive person is the eternal one.
Proactivity and reactivity
Among the residents of the same country, the same city, and even the same family, there may be people who react completely differently to the occurrence of the same circumstance. Suppose a road is being repaired near a house. Someone, taking this circumstance into account, will take care in advance to find another route to work and not be late. And another person will be 2 hours late for work and there will complain to everyone about the repairs, saying that the city government is worthy of condemnation, that the minibus driver is worthless because he drove slowly, and even fate is to blame for the fact that he settled in this particular house.
In general, in the second case, the person completely excludes the possibility of his own influence on the situation; he simply submitted to the circumstances. And the first person found an opportunity to adjust his action plan in order to minimize Negative influence circumstances. This is the main difference between reactivity and proactivity.
Reactivity also represents behavior in which a person does not consider himself to be an active participant in shaping his destiny and each specific situation. Such people do not even consider the possibility of influencing circumstances; they are only able to show their reaction to them. That is, this is a reaction that appears when everything has already happened and reflects only a person’s attitude towards it. In this case, the person is the object of influence.
In turn, proactivity manifests itself as an active participant in ongoing events, a subject of activity who is able to influence circumstances. Proactive thinking - recognizing oneself as capable of making choices and influencing one’s life and each specific situation, forms proactive behavior - the ability to act in such a way that external circumstances do not become key in their influence on the outcome of the situation.
A proactive person and the benefits of such a characteristic
A proactive person is always more successful, because he is not used to making excuses for himself. He has a clear awareness that only he is the master of his life. This fact adds inner confidence, because when you can influence your life, you feel inner peace and stability.
Being proactive does not mean being omnipotent. There are always circumstances over which we have no influence, for example, the weather. The likelihood that, thanks to proactivity, a person will stop the rain is zero, but he will be able to adjust his behavior in such a way that the rain will not interfere with his plans, or at least consciously choose his reaction to this circumstance.
Proactivity largely depends on upbringing, the presence of such characteristics in parents and personal characteristics. We learn to respond to external circumstances by considering how our parents reacted to them when we were children. If the father is not used to justifying all his mistakes with various excuses, and knows how to set and achieve goals, the child is more likely to perceive such behavior as normal and correct.
Proactivity is influenced by several personality characteristics. For example, field independence. This is the ability to focus on one’s own feelings and beliefs more than on external circumstances. Locus of control also influences. Internal locus of control involves taking responsibility for the current situation on oneself to a greater extent than on others. It is difficult to say unequivocally what is primary - the described characteristics or proactivity itself, because they are very closely related to each other.
Reactive person and why such people exist
It seemed, why shouldn’t everyone become proactive and successful if it’s so healthy and useful? Building proactivity begins with taking responsibility for your life, which for many people is overwhelming or even unprofitable. A reactive person tends to blame others for his failures; his locus of control is external. He is also field dependent - that is, his decisions are greatly influenced by external circumstances, and it is they who become decisive and determine his life.
When a child sees from childhood that mom and dad are used to making excuses and did not know how to overcome difficulties, it is very difficult for him to acquire the skills of proactive response in adulthood. Overprotection of the child from difficulties also contributes to reactivity. When mom constantly says: “Don’t go there, they’ll steal you,” “Don’t play with the kids, they’ll hurt you,” “That’s a bad teacher - she gave you a C again,” “Go to this university, here we’ll get you a job, and you won’t just get through the other one,” the child develops a clear idea that nothing ever depends on him, that he can only be an object of influence and is in no way capable of influencing circumstances.
Being proactive is not beneficial for many people. When you are responsible for your life, you are the culprit not only of successes, but also of failures. Now you don’t have the opportunity to blame everything on: the weather, the boss, moon eclipse, fate, power and global conspiracy. Because you have a clear understanding that the choice is always yours. It is the opportunity to make a choice that makes a person more free and deprives him of any excuses.
You can often hear phrases from friends like: “Well, what could I do, there were traffic jams.” Any arguments like: “There are traffic jams there every day”, “You could have left in advance”, “You could have at least warned me that you would be late”, “You could have made an appointment for another time, knowing that it would be impossible to get through this area in the morning.” But all these arguments are either denied or faced with an iron counter-argument: “Well, what can you do now.”
Proactive behavior always involves effort, both mental and physical. After all, lamenting about troubles is always much easier than looking for ways out. You will never achieve success from a passive position and you will never create your own business by sitting with arms folded. Therefore, not everyone needs it and not everyone is ready to make the effort.
How to develop proactivity
Proactivity allows you to look for ways out and be an active creator of your life; it is the first factor in achieving success. The ability to search for and find solutions, to take responsibility for your life, makes you more tense than usual, but always bears fruit. That’s why it’s so important to develop proactivity if you’re tired of being a passive object carried along with the flow.
Proactive thinking and behavior are things that can be learned, they can be developed and the necessary skills can be acquired. First, you need to distinguish between your understanding of circumstances that are really not under your sphere of influence and those that you can well influence. Try to write in two columns all the life circumstances that are relevant to you in life, that hold you back or create difficulties.
Usually the left column contains insurmountable obstacles, at least slightly smaller than the right column—circumstances under your control. Think about the reasons why the circumstances in the left column are insurmountable? Ask yourself this question. Imagine this circumstance in the life of another person, does it still seem as insurmountable to you? Ask the other person if they think this obstacle is as hopeless as you do.
And even objectively insurmountable circumstances do not have complete power over us. For example, we cannot cancel or cancel the presence of a disease, but we can go to the doctor, strictly adhere to his prescriptions and eliminate the causes of the disease. We can't stop the rain, but we can take an umbrella, we can call a taxi, we can look at the weather forecast in advance when planning our day, we can even just not let such a little thing ruin our mood.
Stop yourself every time complaining replaces action. Feeling sorry for yourself is never harmful if it is followed by active steps to overcome difficulties, but if the process stops there, think about why this is happening and force yourself to change this pattern of behavior. It may be difficult at first, but even recognizing the moment of replacing actions with complaints is a good first step towards eliminating this problem.
The circle of concerns is the totality of those difficulties that are beyond our control and we have to reckon with them. For example, if you submitted a resume for the vacancy of your dreams, now you can only wait for them to call you or not; you cannot speed up this process and can only influence your attitude.
The circle of influence is everything that is subject to our influence. For example, you can stop communicating with the person who annoys you or stop watching TV shows that steal your time. According to Covey's definition, the circle of concern is the central reference point for reactive people. Proactive people are focused on the circle of influence.
– a life position, which is based on the idea that an individual independently chooses his reaction to any events. A proactive person realizes the real purpose of his life and goes towards it, resisting circumstances with all his might. The opposite of this position is reactive behavior.
Try to look at yourself from the outside and understand how you feel. What mood are you in? Only a human can perform these actions. This is because all people have self-awareness.
Our mood is often determined by our experiences related to the real world. If someone hurts you, you will feel sad. If you are pleased, you will feel joy. The problem is that we cannot fully understand other people's feelings. Our assessment of their actions is biased.
Dependent on other people's opinions is simply stupid. Your boss might say, “You’re always late!” But is he right? Are you really always late? Many of these lines can be extremely overblown and have no real meaning. They are often a projection of the shortcomings of the people giving such assessments.
When we say that we cannot resist the effects of conditions, we distort reality. Of course, in the outside world our physical actions are limited. However, we also have absolutely unlimited inner freedom. This means that any person has the right to choose his mental reaction to current events.
Let's give an example to reinforce our theory. Imagine that Mikhail ended up in a prison cell for 2 days. What will a reactive person do? He will become depressed and unproductive for another week. Mikhail will think that the whole world is against him, and will begin to feel sorry for himself.
Now imagine that proactive Alexander got into the camera. This prisoner will not be discouraged, because he knows that every person has the right to choose his emotional reaction to the events taking place. Sasha will be absolutely calm and relaxed. In two days he will figure out how to regain lost time.
Proactivity means that we are responsible for the events that happen around us. Man himself creates what surrounds him. Our actions depend only on ourselves, and not on some other people.
Reactive people are influenced by their social environment. If everyone praises them, then they feel good, but if they are scolded, they feel bad. A proactive person chooses how he will feel.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said beautiful words: « No one can hurt you without your consent».
It's hard to accept such a thought. Since childhood, many people believe that everything depends on circumstances. As a consequence, they long years justify their failures external reasons. Try to believe that you have inner freedom. Try to understand that you have a choice.
A great example of how this is real is the attitude of some terminally ill people to their lives. Realizing that they have several months left to live, they rarely feel sad and truly enjoy life. Nothing can convince us better than the success of someone else. People who have overcome their circumstances and begun to live in accordance with their values are a great source of inspiration for all of us.
In this article I will write about, as it seems to me, fundamental things, about what without which any attempt to change your life will be unsuccessful, about the basis of the foundations of any actions and movements - about the importance of correct thinking.
There are three types of people: some are rolling the world, others are running alongside and shouting “God, where is the world going?!”, and others are running faster than everyone else and thinking “They will crush you!”
Any of our actions comes from our thinking. There is nothing that happened to us on its own (with the exception of the instincts and reflexes inherent in nature). And our whole life depends on how we think, what thoughts and mental models prevail in us. In general, everything that concerns thoughts and their influence on us is very interesting to me. This is separate and very important topic and therefore a whole section will be devoted to it.
Today I will write about two main types of thinking, and, accordingly, behavior, which determine our lives.
Any event that happens in our life has an impact on us. Depending on how we react to events, our thinking can be divided into two types: reactive And proactive. What does it mean?
If we explain it quickly and simply, this means that we either consider ourselves the consequence of everything that happens in life, or we consider ourselves the cause. In the first case, in case reactive thinking: life is what happens to us. When proactive thinking: life is what I choose to do.
This results in two types of behavior:
- reactive behavior- when we simply adapt to events that are created by other people around
- proactive behavior- when we ourselves create events in our lives.
People with proactive thinking are people who understand that only they are responsible for their life, that no one else has as much influence on it as they do. And even if circumstances do not turn out the way they want, they always have a choice of how to react to this situation and continue to act based on new conditions.
People with reactive behavior are people who believe that other people and circumstances create their lives. They usually blame the environment for everything, saying that if it weren’t for this and that, things would have been different. They are always hostage to external forces. When you ask them why they couldn’t do something, there is always an extreme one, because of whom everything fell apart. These people do not take responsibility for their lives and what happens in it. They are those who run from the world and are afraid that they will be crushed.
Proactivity means taking action yourself rather than being influenced. Moreover, action means not only the creation of circumstances, but also the choice of response to what has already happened.
When some unpleasant or difficult event happens in our life, we always have a choice of how to mentally react to it: either begin to regret, complain about fate and everything around us, feel like a victim and become despondent; either see what can be done about the situation, start looking for a way out, or simply accept that the situation happened, but it has no impact on your self-esteem and perception of yourself.
How can you tell a reactive person from a proactive person?
It's easy to see if see how a person reacts to new tasks or current circumstances.
A reactive person will immediately begin to look for excuses why a task cannot be completed, look for confirmation of the impossibility of execution, and do everything to avoid even the slightest action.
A proactive person will immediately begin to look for ways to solve the task at hand, and if it turns out to be difficult, he will still continue with the movement options, the main thing is that he will never fold his arms and say, “Well, it happened that way.”
Example.
Circumstances: Gasoline prices have increased.
A reactive person says: I can’t afford to drive a car because prices have risen, now I can’t afford it, as always the government does nothing but profit from ordinary citizens, but wages have not been increased, etc., etc. . The result is that the car is in the garage, he travels by public transport, while constantly muttering and complaining about injustice.
A proactive person says: So, prices have increased, now it will be more expensive to get to work. What can I do to continue driving my car? What can I do in this situation? I can try to start earning more, I can find a travel companion to share expenses, I can try to talk to my boss about paying for travel expenses, I can... and I start to come up with more options. Or he may decide that now is the time to just get on a bike. Or he'll come up with some other way out. The main thing is that in any case, he will understand that he himself chooses his further actions and thoughts.
To summarize, then reactive people think in terms of “It’s all because...”, proactive people think with questions like “How? What can I do?"
The topic of reactive and proactive thinking is a very broad one. A lot can and should be said about her. About why people think reactively and what they get from it, what allows people to be proactive, what are the foundations on which proactivity is built, and in what ways can you develop proactivity in yourself.
Today it was important for me to start this topic, perhaps even to encourage you to think about what behavior is more typical for you. After all, if you are going to create your life, start a new one, then this can only be done if you think and act proactively, if you understand the importance of your actions and accept responsibility for your choice.
It can be said that the slogan of a proactive person will be “I create my life”. (And this will be true, because he himself actively creates all events and circumstances.)
While at reactive - “I adapt to the life that others have created for me”.
No matter what happens in life, you can always choose how to react to it, how to perceive it - as a tragedy or as an opportunity.
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Proactive vs. reactive? It seems that it makes no difference if both words contain an “active” term. But it's big! Reactive and proactive approaches to life are so different that you not only need to understand the difference between them, but also strive for the predominance of one behavioral pattern. But which one?
Proactive vs. reactive thinking: which is more important?
First of all, let's understand the terminology.
Proactive person- This is someone who relies only on himself. In any event, he evaluates his actions, his actions and his decisions. The influence of the surrounding world is insignificant for him and is minimized.
Reactive Personality, on the contrary, is inclined to blame any circumstances that get in her way. Though bad weather, even colleagues, even children. There is always some source of interference that prevents you from achieving the result.
In more scientific terms, the reactive and proactive approaches differ in their reliance on resources. A proactive person sees himself as the source of resources, a reactive person finds them outside.
From the terminology it is clear that reactive and proactive behavior, despite the beautiful common root of the word, are very different. What's next?
Proactive and reactive people: achieving results
Reactive and proactive behavior pattern determines everything.
Family communication.
Behavior at work.
Prerequisites for career growth.
Tendency to plan.
Any area of life depends on the chosen behavior pattern.
All successful people“they go and do it.” They are results-oriented and therefore proactive.
They calculate moves ahead, assess risks and always have an alternative plan of action. They need it so that no external factors did not affect their movement.
Proactivity is, first of all, responsibility towards oneself and decisions taken. And only then activity in terms of implementing plans.
Proactive or reactive: test
Proactive/reactive attitude is easily assessed using a simple test. In it you need to select phrases that a person uses in different situations.
You need to try on both options and choose your preferred one. And evaluate the results.
You should not strive to choose those combinations that never flash in your head or sound out loud. This is not true. And it won’t help to give a true definition of the type of behavior.
| Proactive | Reactive |
| I will strive to change this | It's unlikely that anything can be done about this |
| I'll change their minds | It is unlikely that they will be convinced |
| I don't really like the people I work with, but not so much that I take it personally | My colleagues annoy me |
| I go to work | I have to go to work |
| I decided that I would do just that | I have to do this because... |
| I will find time to devote to these matters | I would help, but I don't have time |
| I'll figure out where to find funds to start the project | I have limited financial resources and will not be able to start this project. |
| It’s strange that few people are interested in this; what can be done to make it beneficial? | Nobody needs this, well, I won’t do anything |
| I need connections. I'll figure out where to find them | Here we need certain connections. I do not have them |
| I will prove that no one can do this job better than me. | I won't be trusted with this job |
What if there are “reactive” phrases in the list?
Work with it.
There is a simple algorithm for increasing proactivity, and if you follow it, you can achieve a lot.
7 steps to a proactive personality
Each of us has traits of both proactivity and reactivity. It's just a behavior that can easily change.
Okay, not easy. But it is changing.
The first thing you need to do is evaluate yourself in every possible situation:
- Am I being reactive or proactive?
- Which correct algorithm behavior?
- What can I do to become more proactive?
This is the first step.
- Introspection. Evaluate not only the situation, but life in general. An environment that, as we know, shapes us. Habits of loved ones. Typical problems. Constant affairs. Problems that need to be solved.
- Working with tasks. After self-analysis, choose the most important task and take a series of actions on it. Among them there should be a plan to achieve the goal. Tell your loved ones about your plan.
Making commitments out loud forces us to act proactively.
Learning from the experiences of others. Movement towards the goal.
So, it turned out 1+6 steps to a proactive life. Total 7.
Simple and accessible to anyone.
All that remains is to make them.
Instead of output
The essence of proactive and reactive approach to life is clear.
Some act.
The second ones groan.
There is no need to comment on who achieves the goal.
All that remains is to decide which path is yours. And give examples of your own proactive and reactive behavior, if you manage to catch them in current affairs. Simple analysis, but will it work? Write in the comments.
