Sometimes we find ourselves at a dead end. Or at a crossroads. Your destiny depends on where you go.
You can't know what will make you happy, even in five years. But you know what makes you happy now. Therefore, you don’t know where to go next, but we will tell you: follow your dream, no matter how far it is. Here are some reasons:
1.You can't see into the future
Life is full of interesting twists and turns, but if we constantly pursue the things we enjoy doing, be it work or hobbies, it will make the journey more interesting and fun. Maybe you love making shelves for your home right now. Maybe you can sell them. In five years you can become a successful designer, designer or furniture manufacturer. You have experience creating designer furniture, which can help you with other projects in the future.
2. Be calm about discomfort
Sometimes life doesn't work out the way you would like. Sometimes you don't have enough money to do everything you planned. If you have something that you really want to do, then you must be prepared to live in uncomfortable conditions. You may have to give up many habits or change your place of residence, but it’s worth it to make your dream come true.
3. Overcome distractions
Stop procrastinating. You're not getting any younger. Sorry, but it's true. If you don't take the time to fulfill your dreams, you will end up with nothing at the end of your life. Take those first steps. Log out of your Facebook or VKontakte and start working. You won't get anywhere just thinking about how cool you could be.
4.Open the door
Opportunity may be knocking, but if you don't open the door, how can you take advantage of that opportunity? You must take advantage of opportunities when they are presented to you. Sometimes it's not on time, but it doesn't matter. Opportunities arise by chance. Open the door or opportunity may go and knock on someone else's door.
Most important thing when achieving your dreams is action. You have to make decisions and try - even if things don't work out at first. At the end of your life, you won't regret what you did. You will regret that you did not have the courage and willpower to do what now seems necessary to you.
People often find themselves in hopeless situations. The truth is that it is very easy to get into them, but to get out is real work on your understanding of life and the problem that has occurred. But all the same, we can find a way out, but it will be so painful for us, it depends only on us and no one else. What to do when you don't know what to do? The very first thing is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, assess the situation sensibly, and fight pessimism and fear. You need to fight your fear that doesn't let you breathe full breasts. We must train ourselves to look positively at the current situation and the whole world that surrounds us.
We accept the choice
It is very difficult to make a choice, and it doesn’t matter what area of life it concerns. And when between two roads, we think about where to go, we are held back by the fear of making the wrong choice, and we remain in place, suffering. Therefore, you always need to move forward, being responsible for every step you take, as an adult, independent person does. You need to control yourself, learn to weigh the positive and negative consequences, and accept that you too can make mistakes.
First step
There is no need to be afraid that you will make a mistake. Try not to ask yourself the question: I just don’t know what to do in this situation, what to do? There is no such person who does not make mistakes, even the smartest and wisest person makes mistakes. You need to be grateful that you have your own “chest of experience” that you acquire, since this is the most important thing in your life and it is this experience that will allow you to become stronger and more able to endure other hardships of life.
So, take control of your life and under no circumstances allow fear to command your actions! Also, you should not be afraid of changes in life, only in a swamp everything flows quietly and calmly, but in a mountain river the water is always seething. So, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone! You should always repeat to yourself, both out loud and silently, that change is only good and any change will lead you to a new, more better result. By doing this mini training on yourself, you will begin to understand that your hopeless situation– it’s just a situation from which there is more than one way out.
Change your attitude towards the problem
You are not the only person on Earth who has been to difficult situations. There are a lot of famous and famous people experienced the hardships of life and more seriously. How many unknown people survived? We think a lot! You can easily find several similar stories on the Internet and read how people were able to overcome them. We repeat again, perhaps you simply do not want to leave the usual state of your life, but this is exactly what you need. This very often happens when people maintain outdated relationships, or work at a job that brings only a negative impression, because they don’t respect or value you there. Why is this happening? The fact is that the reason for our hopelessness is low self-esteem. This is why it is important to understand our problem and get out of it, no matter how difficult it may be for us.
Working on self-esteem
When you tell yourself: I don’t even know what to do, this means that your self-esteem is greatly underestimated. So start working on it. If you don’t do this, then no matter what you do, you will have a high probability that you will return to your previous deplorable place. You need to love yourself and not be a “saint”, that is, allow everyone to mock you or offer the other cheek for a slap. And you don’t need to be lazy, because often it is laziness that creates dead end problem. By telling your “fables” and excuses all around, you begin to believe in them yourself! So, think carefully about what you say, perhaps you yourself have “talked” the problem to yourself, and are simply too lazy to solve it.
Laziness is your enemy
Fight laziness as if it were your worst enemy! Increase your motivation, and don't just throw words into the wind. You can write down possible solutions to your situation on paper. Write down even the most fantastic ones, for example: “fly to the moon” or “Teleport someone to Africa.” Write everything down and read it after a while, you will see that of all your entries a few are worthy of applause!
Pity away
Who hasn't felt the pleasure of feeling sorry for themselves? “Like, I’m so unhappy, pat me on the head, tell me that everything will be fine...” And how it will become good, no one asks at that moment... You, on the contrary, set goals for yourself, forget about the people who offend you and bring you only negativity into your life, even if you depend on them financially, think about how to solve this dependence. Don’t allow people to feel sorry for you, don’t allow them to admit that you have no way out, that “fate” is to blame for everything, this is all not true! Look at the country's elite; many have made it in life thanks to their strong qualities. Imagine also for a moment James Bond. Think about it, would he feel sorry for himself in such a situation, would he sit with his hands folded? The answer is obvious, of course not!
We hope that you have understood your problem a little and realized that for the most part, our problems are far-fetched and are purely psychological in nature. Therefore, if you say to yourself: I just don’t know what to do, then you need to stop and think about everything that is happening and, in the process of thinking, do nothing, and then go forward and arrange your life!
It is only in Hollywood blockbusters that superheroes save long-suffering humanity from evil forces without batting an eyelid. And life has its own “movie”: I can be quite “stupid” when I’m rude to someone on a minibus or when I’m lost in a strange city.
And what can we say about more serious situations - loss of a job, separation from a loved one, betrayal of a friend and other “dark things” in life?
So what to do when you don’t know what to do? After all, with the phrase from “The Diamond Arm”: “Chief, everything is lost!” Everything is lost!" I can't help my grief.
Calmly! Psychologists have developed a step-by-step plan for getting out of difficult life situations.
When you don’t know what to do: from hysteria to complete adequacy
Step #1. Turn off the hysteria.
And this means we stop tearing out our hair and eating sets (after all, we will still need them). Instead, we collapse on the sofa with a cup of mint tea and try to catch our “zen”. The ideal option is to get a good night's sleep.
Step #2. “Getting our claws out” into nature.
Nothing makes thoughts as clear as spring water, like sitting somewhere on the river bank.
And wrinkles in the corners of the eyes are best smoothed out by lying around for a week by the sea in warm regions - I tested it myself.
Hmm, if you’re really sad about time and money, then go to the park for at least a couple of hours - you’ll see and you’ll get an insight into what to do when you don’t know what to do with yourself, your life, or even an orchid on the windowsill, which stubbornly refuses to bloom.
Step #3. “Write, write, the paper doesn’t turn red.”
Having admired nature enough, come home, take a piece of paper and write in as much detail as possible about a situation in which you do not know what to do.
ABOUT literary style don’t worry - you’re not writing memoirs, but throwing the trash out of your head.
Step #4. Analyze this.
So, now it’s time to turn on your “thinking” to the fullest, that is, analyze how you managed to drive yourself into a corner or allowed someone to do this to you. Well, and, accordingly, remember this alignment so that this does not happen again.
For example, you quarreled with your mother because she doesn’t like your boyfriend. It would seem that this is definitely a bad event.
But, if you seriously think about what to do when you don’t know what to do in such a situation, you will understand:
- Hooray! You've finally outgrown your inner " good girl“and are ready to build their own lives independently, without looking back at their parents;
- Now you don’t need to hide your beloved from your mother’s watchful eye, which means you can breathe much more freely;
- from now on you know exactly how to act when your mother is unhappy with your personal life- stick to your line. And it's not fatal!
- next time you will more easily endure parental disapproval, since you already have experience;
- you showed your loved one how dear he is to you by going against your parent’s will. And this is worth a lot, especially when you don’t really know what to do.
In this way, in fact, you can disassemble any life situation, so go for it!
Step #5. Brainstorm.
Oh, this is the most interesting activity when you don’t know where to go, where to go.
Imagine that someone came to you with the same problem that you have. best friend Kolya said: “Whether you want it or not, if you help me out, come up with 101 ways to get out of a lousy situation.”
Here it is important not to restrain yourself, but to write everything, even the most absurd, at first glance, thoughts.
Let's say you lost your job, and since you live in a tiny town, finding employment here is very difficult. You can start from the completely logical “I’ll call everyone I know - maybe someone has heard about free vacancies” to the fantastic “I’ll write Queen of England“I read on the Internet that she fired the maid.”
And the decision of what to do when you don’t know what to do right will be somewhere in the middle.
How to get out of depression on your own?
Step #6. “I have a plan, it’s very daring...”
From all these 101 methods (okay, you can do 50), choose those that will really help when you don’t know what to do. Formalize all these insights in the form of a clear plan (for a day, a week, a month, a year - depending on the complexity of the situation and your determination) - and go ahead and sing!
We managed to “resolve” the problem – great, we’re happy for you! No? Hmm, let's go back to step #1 and start all over again.
Step #7. Great things await us.
And now, having rolled up our sleeves and sighed heavily for the last time about our evil fate, we begin to implement our brilliant anti-crisis plan.
And if you don't know what to do when you find yourself in front of difficult choice, experts recommend using several methods.
How to choose and not make a mistake?
Method number 1. Heads or tails? That's the question when you don't know what to choose.
No, we do not suggest using a coin to decide where to go on vacation - to Brazil, “where there are a lot of wild monkeys” or good old Egypt.
But when you cannot choose between two options, esotericists recommend tossing a coin and carefully listening to your feelings: if, for example, it lands on heads, meaning Brazil, and your inner voice screams: “What are you thinking, you fool? What is Brazil like? What jungle? I want to lie quietly and peacefully on an Egyptian beach!”, then you shouldn’t pretend to be Amerigo Vespucci.
In short, let’s listen to our intuition, open our chakras, and tune our antennas.
Method number 2. Lists, lists and scribbles.
This method is perfect for those who firmly believe in analytics and rational, unclouded by emotions choice: just take a blank piece of paper and write down the “pros” and “cons” of your potential choice.
Let's say you are deciding whether you need to leave your native village of Zyuzulkino and move to a metropolis.
And since the time has come to figure out what to do in this situation, when you don’t know what to do:
- remember that in big city you are looking forward to big earnings, interesting acquaintances and leisure time that is a little more interesting than eating fried sunflower seeds at a rural club;
- however, you should be prepared for stiff competition for good jobs, rented apartments and that blue-eyed macho guy you've had your eye on at the gym.
Method No. 3. Look not for a woman, but for a successful man when you don’t know what to do.
Well, here everything is clear as day: when you need to cook a truly brilliant borscht, consult a familiar chef; if you need to decide what to do with your completely unruly child, go to your favorite old teacher.
Method number 4. The truth is not in wine, but in a dream, when you don’t know what to do.
Need to decide what to do when you don't know what to do? Then go through all the possible solutions in your head. complex issue and go to bed. And may you dream not of Palma de Mallorca, but of a brilliant business plan or a completely innovative method of teaching English.
What to do if life is a complete mess and you don’t know what to do next?
Method No. 5. Who is Superman? I myself am very good!
No, we are not proposing to take over the Universe armed with atomic bomb. But to imagine how a person who is an authority for you acted in your difficult situation is very effective way decide what to do when it is not clear what to do.
If you are not tempted by the prospect of imagining yourself as the President of the United States or, at worst, Spider-Man, psychologists recommend asking yourself a few questions when making difficult life choices:
7 “magic” questions
Now, knowing about all these techniques for making the right decision when it is not entirely clear what to do, when you don’t know what to do, you will be calm as a boa constrictor. Hmm, even in that “difficult” case when you have to choose between the shades of lipsticks “Wild Purple” and “Fire Red”.
“Today you want one thing - to die, and tomorrow you wake up and realize that you just had to go down a few steps, feel for the switch on the wall and see life in a completely different light...” Anna Gavalda
Sometimes it happens that things get bad. Is it an age crisis, depression or an understanding of the hopelessness of life? Together. What are you doing wrong? How to find your way and get out of the absorbing abyss?
What to do if you get stuck at one point?
1. You surrounded yourself with the wrong people. Time to change friends!
Your surroundings are completely “strangers”, even if you have known them for a long time. You have no common interests, goals, desires. These people serve not as a support, but as an anchor on the leg. Because of them, you are stuck at one point and are slowly going to the bottom. They pull back, criticize, waste time and energy. They make you a failure, just like themselves. What to do in this case?
Find those who will inspire, think alike and motivate. Someone you can grow with. Who is better. Someone to look up to. Find new acquaintances, friends and buddies. Surround yourself strong people. Who do you want to be like?
2. You're stuck and have lost your grip. It's time to wake up and stop being shit!
Crisis, fatigue and depression? What to do if you don't know what to do? Often the reason for unhappiness lies in the fact that you are stuck and have lost your grip. Run home from work. There are TV series, the Internet, social media, TV and sofa. On weekends, sleep until lunch, get-togethers with friends, alcohol, entertainment and laziness. You understand that you are not doing anything right and proper. For this reason, you are unhappy and go into the swamp of depression.
It's time for you to start moving minimally. Bring dynamics into your life. To do at least something, and not to go with the flow, like a weak-willed piece of shit. Start learning foreign language, take courses, enroll in Gym, engage in self-education. Shake yourself up.
3. You're not doing what you want. Time to find your goals!
Many people work for a long time on goals that are far from them. real desires. They work in jobs they hate. They do things that don't inspire them. They are mired in routine and the meaninglessness of life.
You're not doing what you want. You wasted your time and your potential on the wrong things. What to do if you made a mistake in choosing the path? Set a new goal. A new real goal. Which you really want to achieve.
Goals should not be whims or nonsense. Now write down on a piece of paper what you most want to achieve. Compose detailed plan and tie it to time.
4. You are a fatalist. It's time to try your hand!
It's easy to complain about circumstances, the government, the crisis, parents, ill-wishers and other factors. Stop abdicating responsibility and pointing to fate. It's time to take full responsibility into your own hands.
We are unhappy when we allow ourselves to waste our resources: time, effort, energy and potential. Make a plan to achieve your goal. Get out of the circle and try new things. Test yourself for strength. Rush into battle. Take risks. You are unhappy for the reason that your “engine” does not growl and does not work at full strength.
What to do if you don't know what to do? Find like-minded people, start doing at least something, find goals and rush into battle.
Are you completely confused?
There is darkness in your head, there is fog all around, are thoughts more difficult to catch than a perch with your bare hands?
And this state, unfortunately, is not a consequence of pleasant and have a fun holiday. Or rather his long absence?
And you absolutely don't like where you are now? No, I'm not talking about walls (although they may annoy you). I'm talking about a life situation. Is this not what you dreamed of at all and what you were aiming for?
Then you've come to the right place. It's your time make a decision and change your life. How?
Maybe that's enough questions, let's move on to the answers.
What to do when you don't know what to do?
Step one - calm down
Give up, stop hysterics, stop tearing your hair out and fainting from uncertainty. Allow yourself to relax: take a bath, drink a cup of coffee (tea, compote). It's better not to get carried away with cognac. If possible, be sure to get a good night's sleep.
Step two - forward to nature
How often do people in cities, especially large ones, lock themselves in their birdhouses. And if you are reading these lines,then you probably dive into social networks from time to time, personal diaries, network games and othersthe delights of the Internet, from which it is not so easy to escape even for a person with a stable psyche.
So, let's go to nature! Preferably for a week. But if circumstances do not allow - for the whole day. If it’s really bad - go to the park for 2-3 hours with a dog, a bicycle, rollerblades, c children or simply, alone with yourself, contemplating the harmony of nature and enjoying the beauty of the current time of year.
After this, the anxiety will begin to dissipate and melt away. And useful thoughts descend from Olympus. If this does not happen, then
Step three - release
Take a piece of paper and write down everything you don't like about your life. Describe in detail the situation that you have driven yourself into, or someone has driven you into. Describe “someone” well too, just in case (he won’t know about it). Don't skimp on paper.
Now, attention is an important point:
Make a decision that this really doesn't suit you. Then you can part with once and for all without much regret. unloved job, with emotions of fear, pity, anger.
and to yourself first and foremost. will free you and give you additional energy.
If something is pitiful, you will have to live as you lived until it hits you again. 😉
Step four - breaking the connection
Second important point:
Analyze what brought you to this situation and what conclusions you can draw from it. What did life want to tell you when it laid such a pig on you? If you don't do this, you will very quickly be left with nothing again. Then write down all your findings on a separate sheet of paper, or better yet, in a notepad.
Step five - brainstorming
Imagine that a neighbor came to you and told you about his troubles (the troubles, oddly enough, are exactly yours).
give him 101 advice on how to get out of this situation. Write whatever comes to mind: from janitor, before bowing to the President of America. The wider, further, deeper, higher, and freer you think, the more real and practical options will begin to emerge.
Have you written? Can have a smoke breakdrink tea. It’s not a bad idea to take another outing into nature.
