2 chosen
It is very difficult to communicate with a person who has a difficult character. Such people constantly offend others, hurt their feelings, and spoil their mood. Soon they begin to be avoided, and those who cannot do this become unhappy. If you are faced with such a difficult person, the simplest and most correct solution– minimize communication. But if you are surrounded exclusively by such people, it’s worth thinking: maybe it’s not them who have character problems, but you. Let's figure out how to diagnose a complex character in yourself and whether it can be cured.
View from the outside
The first and most difficult step is to realize and admit your shortcomings. The fact is that people with complex characters tend to notice flaws in others and not see their own. And even in a situation where everyone around him says that he is wrong, such a person will sincerely believe that he was offended and did not understand.
Therefore, we must try to drown out for a while own feelings and ask what others say and think about you. Don’t rush to make excuses or be rude in response: listen to criticism with cool head. This will help you understand how you look in the eyes of other people. And if you don’t like this image, it will need to be adjusted.
Anger management
Admitting your shortcomings is half the battle. But, unfortunately, many get stuck in the middle . “I can’t help it - that’s my character,”- they say in response to the claims. And this phrase becomes a convenient and universal justification for them.
But character is not a sentence. It is formed throughout life, and it is up to us where we direct our natural inclinations. For example, everyone knows that choleric people are unrestrained and aggressive, but they are also quite capable of controlling their outbursts. This is no longer a question of temperament, but of self-discipline and education.
In moments of anger, you should try not to express it quickly, but to slightly reduce the intensity of passions. The rule of pause, slow deep breathing and physical tension (for example, clench and unclench your fists, getting rid of aggression) will help. In addition, playing sports, especially martial arts, helps get rid of adrenaline.
Changing glasses
When a piece of magic ice fell into Kai's eye, he began to see only the bad in the people around him. I think every person has moments in life when the whole world seems dark and unkind. But real misanthropes don’t take off these dark glasses at all. Maybe it's time to try on pink ones?
Conduct this experiment: every time you want to scold someone (in words or in thoughts), first find something good in this person. Remember, the bad-boy superhero Hancock, embarking on the path of reform, began by calling the police well done? It won't be easy at first, but then it will become a habit. So you yourself will learn to see goodness in the world around you. In addition, people take criticism much better if it begins with praise.
Have you ever met people with difficult characters?
A person with a difficult character often suffers from the qualities that he developed during his life. He does not understand why people avoid him, and communication brings neither pleasure nor benefit. A complex character is manifested in sarcasm, conflict, envy and other traits. However, even such people, after working hard on themselves, will be able to achieve spiritual harmony.
Interaction of a complex personality with the world
It is not easy to deal with a person who has a difficult character. Such people often offend others and spoil their mood. They often begin to be avoided, since communication with them rarely brings joy. If you had to deal with such a person, the simplest solution is to communicate with him as little as possible. The main signs of a severe nature, signaling the need to reduce the number of contacts, are:
- Reluctance to listen to the interlocutor.
- A sense of rightness even in situations where there is no reason for it.
- Aggressiveness, conflict, quarrelsomeness.
- Tendency to criticize and find fault.
- Depressiveness, tendency to dramatize.
If it seems that only such people are around, this is a reason to think: perhaps personal problems are not characteristic of them, but of the person himself.
Irritability
Excessive irritability is one of the main signs of a difficult character. One person will behave calmly while in a traffic jam. Another will honk his horn furiously and curse everyone around him - both drivers and pedestrians. If something does not happen according to plan - someone steps on their foot, or a child brings a bad grade from school, this can turn into a real Apocalypse for such a person. Psychologists believe that irritability as an innate character trait is inherent in only 0.1% of the entire population. In other cases, this quality is a consequence of acquired during life psychological problems.
Pickiness
Often people with a difficult character believe that the truth is born in a dispute, but it still won’t be possible to live in peace with other people. On the one hand, constructive criticism helps you improve and is beneficial. But such people forget that it is not only what is said that is important, but also how this information is presented.
By the way, phrases like “He’s a complete idiot if he doesn’t understand that” or “Her hands don’t grow from there” are insults, not criticism. It is useful to remember this for people with a difficult character.
The reason for such pickiness is often the peculiarities of upbringing in early childhood. A child who has had to listen to criticism from his parents for any action gets used to this behavior. Often, in order to correct this character trait, one cannot do without long-term work with a psychotherapist.
Sarcasticity
This trait of a difficult character is aimed at hurting other people, touching on their shortcomings. Moreover, this is always done in the most sophisticated expressions and often in front of everyone. Pleasant jokes can never ruin your mood. As for sarcasm, it causes only negative emotions. This phenomenon is a socially acceptable type of aggression. If a person cannot express to another everything that he thinks about him, that makes him a target for his sarcastic statements.
Often the reason for sarcasm is the desire to attract the attention of others. Psychologists have found that this trait is characteristic of people who come from large families. It also affects those in whose families parents and other adults were not ashamed to communicate with each other through ridicule.
To overcome the craving for acute slander, you need to think - why utter offensive words and what is their ultimate goal? After all, in order to attract the attention of society, there are many more positive ways. If the statement of a colleague or relative seems completely stupid and makes you want to tell a cruel joke, it is useful to ask your interlocutor a few clarifying questions instead. For example: “Why do you think so?”, “Do you think things could be different?” This will help you show yourself as a delicate and attentive person. This will allow the interlocutor to maintain a sense of self-esteem.
Tendency to dramatize events, anxiety, depression
These qualities of people with difficult characters spoil the lives of both themselves and those around them. After all, they also have to constantly listen to complaints and whining about how bad everything is. The neighbors have expensive car, a friend has a more beautiful wife, and a friend’s child managed to enroll in prestigious university. The quality of life in the country is deteriorating, and wages are not growing; and the weather is kind of bad every day. These people think approximately this way, infecting those around them with their pessimism.
To get rid of the habit of seeing everything in a dark light, it is useful to work on yourself. You need to develop the habit of seeing things in more positive terms. Also, such a person needs to do everything in his power to make his life pleasant and comfortable, and bring joy.
To be a difficult person means dooming yourself to conflicts and loneliness. And the first step to overcome these difficulties is to realize your shortcomings. People with this personality structure often tend to notice only the disadvantages of those around them and not pay attention to their own. Even in a situation where others point out that they are wrong, they will continue to believe that they were misunderstood and want to offend.
Having a difficult character is not easy, because you need to learn to control yourself. In conflict situations, it is useful to muffle your own feelings for a while and take an interest in what others are saying about you now. You shouldn’t rush to be rude in response or make excuses: first, it’s better to impartially listen to other people’s criticism. This will allow you to understand what image they have in their head and how they perceive such behavior. If this image is negative, it should be changed.
Manage emotions
But admitting your shortcomings is only the beginning of the fight against a difficult character. Often people get stuck halfway and invent all sorts of excuses for themselves. “Nothing can be done, because this is my character,” they say. Such an excuse becomes universal for them. They use it in any conflict situation or to justify one’s own weaknesses.
In reality, a difficult character is not a death sentence. It is formed throughout a person’s life. It depends only on the individual himself where he will direct his natural inclinations. For example, everyone knows that people choleric temperament are often unrestrained and irritable. But even they are quite capable of controlling their own outbursts of aggression.
If anger makes you unable to think clearly, you should not try to express it as quickly as possible. On the contrary, you first need to reduce the intensity of emotions a little. To do this, it is useful to use relaxation techniques and deep breathing. Sports and fitness activities help get rid of excess adrenaline. Particularly effective in in this regard oriental martial arts.
If your lover is a complex person
A man’s difficult character is a difficult test for every lady. At the beginning of a relationship, usually the shortcomings of the stronger sex do not appear as clearly as after the end of the candy-bouquet period. When a gentleman realizes that he no longer needs to court a girl in order to gain her favor, he gradually begins to show his true colors.
In any couple, people eventually begin to learn about each other's shortcomings. But ordinary relationships are characterized by the fact that these shortcomings, with due effort on the part of the man and woman, can be overcome and leveled out. For example, if a husband constantly throws socks around, this is not critical for family life. The wife can put the box in another corner of the room and invite her husband to play volleyball with the help of socks, trying to throw them exactly at the target.
But if the spouse is stubborn and has a difficult character, constantly provokes conflicts, God forbid, raises a hand against his wife - here you should seriously think about the advisability of continuing the relationship and the possible risks to health and life.
Other cases of severe people
The same applies to those cases when a male boss has a complex character. After all, constant interaction with such a person at work is no better than having to endure your husband’s antics at home. Therefore, those who want to maintain psychological balance are also recommended to minimize communication with those people who have a difficult character, no matter in what field of activity they have to deal with.
If the difficult person is a relative, the problem here requires a more detailed consideration. It may be necessary to undergo joint psychotherapy to find common ground and make communication softer. But one thing needs to be remembered: if a person himself does not want to take into account the interests of loved ones, then it is unlikely that he can be influenced by persuasion.
If the soul refuses to accept this person with his terrifying shortcomings, this is a signal that it is time to change his environment. Unfortunately, such people often have to be erased from life, since they themselves change extremely rarely.
There is nothing more fascinating in the universe than a complex woman.
Most men seem to find women they just like. They do not comprehend them, do not recognize them, do not reveal them.
At the same time, a woman will literally become your other half, she will provide a huge impact on you. Women are much more rational than men. Their actions are more logical. There is no more exciting thing in life than an affair with a woman with a complex character.
It may not be for everyone: not everyone enjoys solving puzzles. But those who decide to have an affair or family with such a woman will receive a great prize at the end.
It will make your life much more interesting.
Believe me or not, “difficult” people are not born “difficult.” There is no "complex personality" gene that people get from their parents. People become more "complex" when someone makes them that way. life experience.
And it is different for everyone. Difficult relationships- this is not always pleasant, but they always turn out to be more intriguing and exciting than “happy” ones. From an engineering point of view, the iPhone is also a complex device, but those who understand its essence no longer need to explain anything. So it is with exclusive relationships.
A difficult woman is always interesting woman. Why? Because they can tell you dozens of exciting stories from their own, not someone else’s life. And you can become part of them.
She will be a great conversationalistDifficult life experiences are always a large number of great stories. And since they will all be about themselves, they will turn out to be very emotional.
It happens that after for long years There is nothing left of their relationship. If you don't want to constantly reveal your partner, share with him the most important stories your life, it means that such relationships exist for some reason, but they are no longer an end in themselves. Or maybe it’s just hard for you to leave a woman you haven’t loved for a long time because of children?
But it is difficult to stop loving a woman with a complex character and devilish attractiveness. So ultimately this is a very good choice.
Your girlfriend will never sound like a broken record. She's hard to win
“Easy” and “boring” are synonymous words. Humans by nature always seek a challenge, and men in particular. When it comes to their women, men always (on a subconscious level) figure out which one is better. We are fighters, competitors and conquerors.
We love to win and hate to lose. If we fall for a woman, we pursue her until they fall in love with us. Well, or you’ll have to look for excuses for yourself why it’s supposedly not worth spending time on.
But as soon as we win an easy victory, we immediately lose interest in winning. Therefore, our woman should always remain a mystery to us. But you shouldn’t make her bored either. Otherwise she will just run away.
She may be a little short-tempered, but that will make the relationship interesting.
Everyone thinks that the ideal relationship is when everyone is always smiling and kissing. But to be honest, such relationships simply do not exist. Everyone swears.
Every relationship undergoes serious tests. And here one of two scenarios usually happens. You may either quickly lose interest in quarrels and conflicts - and you will become a soulless type who will live the rest of your life in depression without even knowing it. And the second option: you can take these frequent battles over and over again - as if it were all happening for the first time. And you will get it at the exit interesting life, full of passion and inspiration.
This kind of stress does more good than harm.
She will make you work for her - and this is the main thing that will maintain the connection between you
Most people are in such a hurry when building relationships, as if some kind of championship medal was waiting for them at the very price.
You must realize that relationships are rewards. beauty love relationship- is that you shouldn't wait until you can eat your cake. They, however, also require constant maintenance.
Most often, problems arise when one of the two decides that they can no longer do their part of the job.
Let's be honest: this usually happens to men. When men feel the love of their women, they no longer feel the need to fight for it.
This is the difference between a husband and a lover.
A real man knows that he must work to keep his life alive. Wise woman knows that if a man makes her feel special again and again, then she should give him the maximum of her feelings.
Don't be afraid of your feelings. We are all afraid of this terrible feeling - the feeling of loss. Remind yourself that a great relationship with an unavailable woman is always a possibility.
People who behave unusually in different situations and generally stand out from the crowd, often distinguished by their so-called “complex” or “heavy” character. Each person has his own individual traits and characteristics acquired throughout life; the family in which he was raised; environment, that is, friends, colleagues or classmates. All this affects the development of a person as an individual and his behavior.
What character is considered difficult?
"Characteristic person" is a frequently used phrase to describe someone. But what exactly is this “complexity”? There is no single answer that accurately describes the differences between a complex or, as is often said, “heavy” character, and a light one.
People with a difficult character do not make compromises, are distinguished by their quarrelsomeness, and a clear list of requirements for themselves and others; It is very difficult for such people to find their place in life and society. Those with an “easy” character, on the contrary, are much better adapted to life; they are distinguished by condescension and ease towards everything, in modern slang - not caring.
The reasons are complex
Life circumstances influence people differently: what may seem trivial to one may radically change another. Family troubles, problems in school or work, loneliness or moral emptiness in life - all this ultimately changes a person, and not for the better.
He withdraws into himself and his complexes, communication with other people becomes difficult. “Sociopath”, “sociophobe”, “introvert” - this is how such individuals are often called.
Complex consequences
Whatever the reasons, a complex character makes life very difficult for its owners. Most often this affects the lives of young women who dream of a life partner, but due to their personal characteristics they only repel others.
A girl with a complex character is under the weight of her own complexes, a negative perception of the world, low self-esteem and imaginary problems. The result is often alienation, isolation and reluctance to make contacts.
“If you can’t change the situation, try to change your attitude towards it.” Many people who are trapped in their own thoughts have heard this phrase, but what is easy to say is not easy to do. Sometimes it is very difficult to change your attitude towards a situation if your objectivity is influenced by some difficult past experience.
For example, a girl with a difficult character will most likely have problems in personal life. A father who abandoned his family, a grudge against a boyfriend, or an overly intellectual approach to simple joys life, all this will leave a subconscious imprint in the memory, which will change the concepts of morality and trust.
Types of "complex" characters
Those with a complex character can be divided into 8 types:
Hysterical - excessively emotional people who attract attention with their antics; their mood changes at lightning speed, but often the manifestations of this are a kind of performance that satisfies selfishness and vanity;
Pedantic - people prone to perfectionism belong to this type. Very careful and meticulous, they always perform the chosen task perfectly, but the slightest failure can plunge them into depression;
Excitable - people driven by momentary desires. They are controlled own desires and interests, and in extreme cases, irritation can even lead to assault;
Avoidant - those who in other words can be called “victims”. These are people with low self-esteem who avoid communication with others in order to deliberately protect themselves from humiliation and rejection by others;
Dependent - morally weak and irresponsible people who want to find a strong guardian for themselves and transfer responsibility for their life to him;
Paranoid - those who are haunted by fears, so in any life situation such people show extreme caution and are distrustful of others;
Antisocial - loners who know how to manipulate can show aggression and despotism;
Narcissistic - people who are in love with their reflection and consider themselves unique and special.
Communicating with each of the above types is a challenge, but understanding the reason for certain behaviors can make communication much easier. Probably the only one the right decision there will be a perception of a person as he is, and the example of his own positive attitude towards life can change any complex character for the better.
Video on the topic of the article
What is a difficult character? People often tell me that I have such a difficult character. I noticed that I have a hard time with frivolous people, who say and do one thing today, another tomorrow, and are fickle. They can bring chaos into my life, or rather they try to. If I have something planned for the weekend, it’s very difficult for me to readjust. If I go to meet a friend, I need to be warned at least three days in advance. For one, it’s useless, I won’t go. People often light up quickly and go out just as quickly. And until I think through everything, weigh everything, I cannot act. I have a very hard time accepting new things. It takes me a long time to dig into new information, although others can grasp everything on the fly. I always expect what will happen after some action. My man also told me that I have a difficult character. To which I replied that I just have it. He liked to suddenly come to visit, or call at an inopportune hour. Naturally, I answered that I could not accept him, since I was not expecting him. Why is my character difficult?
You are probably drawn to such “frivolous” people and you, partly, want to be like them. But you are different. It's better to come to terms with this. And your character is not at all “heavy”. After all, there are people around with similar qualities. You probably just don’t notice these people. Chat with them. At the same time, look at yourself from the outside and perhaps this will help you become more flexible.
“He has a difficult character” - they say about a person who, due to his stubbornness or lack of upbringing, does not take into account any of the people around him. He seeks to subordinate his life and the lives of his loved ones own rules, regardless of the opinions of others. He flares up easily, but just as easily cools down his ardor. In general, it is not easy with such people, because they are often tossed from side to side, they do not compromise and it is almost impossible to come to an agreement with them. You don’t have a difficult character, you’re just obviously phlegmatic by nature. Therefore, it is difficult for you to suddenly take off or receive unexpected guests. Try to take into account the fact that not everyone has the desire and opportunity to adapt to your rhythm of life. Be more tolerant of people, even if they interfere with your plans. After all, the main thing is that you have friends and a man in your life who care about you and care about you.
Your character is golden - that’s why it’s so heavy :) Not everyone has such solidity in their character as you do. Let me give you a simple example. You have a lamp and an iron. You plugged in the light and it lit up, turned it off and it went out. We plugged the iron into the outlet - it was cold at first, warmed up and became hot, turned it off - and it was still hot and would cool down for some time. Judging by what was written about the man in the past tense, you have now broken up with him and are taking it hard. You are deep, soulful, rational, but not everyone can immediately appreciate this. You attract with your uniqueness, and then a man perceives your thoroughness and balance as coldness. Try to become more flexible. Do something that has never been done. On Friday, call your friends and go to the club. Or invite them to a museum, theater, or musical on Saturday morning. Anywhere. The main thing is that it is spontaneous and unplanned. Get a lot of new impressions and experience. Perhaps in this way you will begin to understand foamless, easy-going people a little better)
Hello, you are heavy when you are stressed, and all sudden situations put you into a stupor, in other words, you have a rigid psyche, i.e. not flexible and high level under stress you can break down. You are a lover of cleanliness and order in good conditions and vice versa under stress. Love to read, especially historical books. I also like to read on the toilet. A man of the past, in the past everything was much better than now. They are slow, like to clarify, ask again a hundred times. It takes a long time to choose the product you need in the store. Your professions could be a librarian, a dentist, a driver, a psychologist, a teacher, professions where you need to sit a lot. You can't be rushed. It's hard to start a business. You have a hard time with people who are fast and flexible. But if a fast person, understanding you, will not rush you and you will not slow down quickly, then this is an ideal combination in a pair. Together you can achieve your common goals. You can read more about yourself on the website at system-vector psychology. Good luck
Maybe your character is really difficult, but it’s not bad or good, it’s just the way it is. All people are different, and even more so there are things that just exist. Well, you have such a character that you can change it somewhere, but you still won’t change it much. Moreover, there are enough people with the same character as you, you just need to find like-minded people. Yes, and even more so, a person changes throughout his life, maybe you will become different, or this problem will no longer bother you at all.
It does not coincide with today's rhythm of life. Therefore, those who have become accustomed to it and become close to it experience difficulties in communicating with you.
I can assume that your fears are holding you back. No? Think about it. What terrible thing will happen if you suddenly act spontaneously and not deliberately? What prevents you from immediately accepting something new on faith? Why do you need to study this new thing carefully?
Is the joy of a sudden meeting with a loved one not stronger than a measured order? What terrible thing will happen if he arrives when you are not expecting him? What is important that will interrupt his arrival?
I don’t think that your character can be considered difficult due to the fact that you are somewhat inert and like to plan everything in advance. But I can tell you that you should try to live at least a month of your life differently. Take it easy on unplanned changes, and life will sparkle with new colors for you. If you don’t like the new way of life, you can always go back to the old one. So you don't risk anything. It is useful to break your stereotypes sometimes. Good luck!
You have a good character, just like me! :-) Apparently, some people consider it difficult when something doesn't happen the way they want you to. Your man, instead of accepting his lack of tact towards you, calls your character difficult. But it’s easier that way, right? For example, I also answer that I have it! And it’s better to be with character than a spineless rag on which anyone will wipe their feet. For example, I believe that if I am punctual and do not like making people wait, then I have every right to demand the same from them. I think that your friends have already studied you well enough, and the same goes for men. And if he allows himself to once again “leak” at you about your difficult character, just ask: since I am so heavy, WHAT are you doing next to me?
The normal character of a self-respecting person.
It's okay, no need to worry.
It’s just time for those around you to learn how to behave.
You see a question that one of the site users asked the Universe, and the answers to it.
The answers are either people very similar to you, or your complete opposites.
Our project was conceived as a way psychological development and growth, where you can ask advice from “similar” people and learn from “very different” people what you don’t yet know or haven’t tried.
Do you want to ask the Universe about something important to you?
